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  2. I'll have to share this phrase with my 16-year old daughter who oozes sarcasm (in a very witty way, thankfully). She's the one getting the Sarcastic Nine Ball for her bday next year.
  3. I was just going to pop in and say this - that if it weren’t already mentioned within the shared links - don’t ever be alone with this person.
  4. I routinely went through photo albums with a parent - it was a wonderful way to spend time together, and it was like a “new” activity every time we did it. BUT i could not share any photos taken within the last 30 years. Because the people in those pictures were strangers. And yes, the filter on sexual behaviors disintegrates. Don’t let it shock you (well, try to understand that it’s common).
  5. This. I had 3 losses in a row (following numerous losses between pregnancies) and went to a top RE who diagnosed me in one cycle. I'm sorry, OP, for what you are going through. I remember feeling like I was being kicked while I was already down with the third-in-a-row loss.
  6. So far this thread seems to be missing an age component. When children are little they need more Parent in Charge. Not completely. They still need coaching on thinking through their options and also they need Someone in Charge who just isn’t a pushover. Ideally every young mom would have the personality of a loving and gentle mother who had such a strong side that the kids learn she’s In Charge. they need rules, boundaries and limitations within a healthy loving framework. I think the older they get the more it resembles a peer relationship. But if you did your job well when the kid was little he would always have a special understanding in the back of his mind that the parents word is final and that mom and dad don’t take shit. (Sorry best way to say that.) When the kids become teens hopefully around that time you’ve gotten to the point Where most of what they do is independent. They ask advice, they check in with you on new ideas and you plan each semester together, mostly them planning and mostly you making a few suggestions. By age 16 hopefully you’ll have a hormonal young person who has moods but by then they’re working on their own so if something fails they take personal responsibility and you can ask if they want advice. Some kids will be harder than others and you may have do do a few hard things like grounding but generally not for schoolwork. in our house outsourcing was 100% necessary for my older because he was leaps and bounds ahead of me, by about 7th grade. For my younger by about 7th grade although I could have kept up for another year or two academically, she was emotionally ready to separate and outsourcing is 100% the answer. If this was 1989 and no co ops existed She would be using ACE Paces because there is no way I could have the emotional strength to stand up against not only her hormones but her personality. She is very assertive and an FP and I am an ESTJ and it is very easy to manipulate me or emotionally exhaust me. I am a planner, worker and doer through and through dependable but hand me a person who wants to disagree with, discuss, change assignments and I unravel or give in very quickly. She is an A student in every class almost across the board and works very hard. She needs external validation and motivation for school. that’s not to say she needs external validation for *learning** like most homeschooled kids she loves to learn and teaches herself stuff outside of her School hours constantly. So in my point of view if parents establish authority in a loving healthy consistent manner when kids are little, it reaps positive rewards when it’s time for that relationship to move towards an independent person who is under authority but not having authority affect their daily life. In this time it can feel a lot like a peer relationship but it’s not and IMO never should be. My mom is still my mom and so is my stepdad and they earned the right for a special position . They are no longer my authority in any way but I treat them with more respect and deference than any average Joe and I value their advice even when I do not ask for it.
  7. She's so pretty! The eyes, the shape of her head, and the coloring of her front left leg make me think she might be German Shorthair mixed with lab.
  8. I appreciate the responses! Thanks guys for taking the time to write out what is pretty difficult to explain. So in my standard approach to parenting, I asked my ds what he thought about how our relationship works. 🙂 He said the number one thing that I do differently than every other parent he knows is that I value his point of view. Actually value it and won't put my point of view above his. I found this interesting because I have never really realized that was a hallmark of how I parent. But he is right. He also said that 'peer-relationship' has a certain connotation, like we hang out together or do stuff that he does with his same-age peers. We don't. He said that a better description would be "intellectual partner." That we work together to solve problems, that we are not intellectual equals because clearly I have more knowledge and experience, but that not all decisions should be based only on those things. Which is why valuing his point of view is critical for this partnership. Once again, this is interesting to me to see it from his point of view, because he is right. And this conversation actually showed me how I parent - it was like I was watching with new eyes. By involving him in *evaluating* our relationship and interactions, I also influenced him to continue to work with me as a partner with give and take on both sides. I led from behind. More in a sec...
  9. So, I found some fun phonics worksheets on Teachers Pay Teachers - and I can just print out what he needs to work on. Right now he's doing two pages a day on consonant digraphs. He likes it, and because the format is pretty similar from day to day is able to do it independently for the most part.
  10. I've been skeeved out ever since a longtime mailman that we know said he never, ever eats the homemade treats that people give him at Christmas. The reason? In his years of delivering mail, he has been in many houses on his route and said you cannot believe the number of seemingly normal people who have absolutely filthy kitchens. I am super picky about restaurants. We used to occasionally go to a Mexican restaurant that seemed okay. The dining area and restrooms were very clean and the food was good. Then, my friend who works at a salon was talking to one of her customers who is a health inspector, and he told her the Mexican place had the worst cockroach infestation he had ever seen in all his years on the job. 🤢 Never set foot in there again!
  11. Oh. A friend of mine is going through this now with a relative. What she's described her relative going through sounds just awful for the ill person. I'm so sorry this is happening to your dad.
  12. The misplacement of time is so odd! We found that looking at old photo albums (MIL and FIL together) was quite calming, and something they could do together. It's also funny in that what people remember differs for the individual. FIL had lost all sense of how to drive in his neighborhood, but he gave directions to my DH to travel a road he had traveled only once before, and that 20 years ago. He was a pilot and loved maps. My mom has normal old-age forgetfulness (and maybe a tad of dementia) and forgets to turn off the stove and that sort of thing, but she knows exactly what interest she is earning in her investments, and to the penny how much she has in the bank. She's always managed the books for her family...but she never really cared that much about cooking... It's so unpredictable.
  13. I whole-heartedly agree with Arctic Mama! Losses are always hard no matter how many children (or miscarriages!) you have! I've had people tell me, "Oh, well at least you have your other kids. Some people go through what you are going through and don't have any kids at all! You are already so (blessed, lucky, <insert unhelpful words here>)" I know they aren't meaning to be hurtful but why should I shrug off my loss just because I have other kids? To me, that's like telling someone who loses a body part, "Oh well at least you still have the other leg (or whatever body part). You are so lucky...." I have six living children, one second trimester loss who was stillborn and 7 first trimester losses. Yes, that is 14 pregnancies in my life time. Nurses always ask me if they heard me right when taking my history. I have never been through any kind of fertility treatments or testing or anything. Every pregnancy was naturally conceived. I had one high risk pregnancy that ended in a premature birth (placental abruption, my preemie is 13 now) and my youngest son's pregnancy ended with me being moderately pre-eclamptic that lead to induction at 37 weeks. Just to give you some hope, I did have 3 losses in a row before conceiving youngest ds. So it is not impossible after 3 losses to conceive naturally. Dh, (my second husband and bio father of only my youngest son), was told as a young adult that he was sterile and he would never have children. So after 3 losses and the fact that he was told he would never have children, we have a son together and the stillbirth was after our son. We have conceived a total of 5 times despite him being "sterile" lol. Dh and I would love to have another child together but after many long heart to heart talks, lots of tears, and lots of option weighing, after the stillbirth (which was a surprise pregnancy, we weren't trying so we got used to the idea of having another baby even though we weren't ready for another one at the time and had finally gotten excited about it only to lose the baby a week before the 20 week ultrasound :-( ) we decided to just let whatever will be, will be. We aren't actively trying, but we aren't actively preventing either. It has been 5 years or so since made that decision, I am still at peace with whatever will be, will be. Baby fever is hard no matter how many or few kids you have. Saying "This is my last one" is hard too when you truly love being a mother and raising children from infancy. My set number in my head since I was a preteen/teenager was that I wanted 4 kids some day, 2 boys and 2 girls, and I was lucky enough to get exactly that but life is funny, best laid plans of mice and men often go awry and all that business... I ended up with six biological kids total, 4 boys and 2 girls and dh and I would still happily welcome more if it were in the cards. We have looked at other avenues such as adoption, foster care, working in childcare etc. but for now we have decided that we need to just let what will be, to be. It was a hard choice and a deeply personal choice but I have made peace with it and I don't regret it. I didn't mean to get so ramble-y. I just wanted to share that I have been in your shoes and it is hard, so hard, right now but you can come out the other side and see the sun shine again after this storm. I hope you find comfort and peace in the soul searching decisions that lie ahead for you and your family (((HUGS)))
  14. Next year I will be teaching 3 kids in kinder, 3rd, and 4/5th. My oldest is behind several grades due to learning difficulties. I'm looking for a curriculum that we can teach family style for history, art, and science. I am hoping to find something that my older kids can understand and it not to advanced for their age. Please give me suggestions and if you have used it before etc.
  15. Okay, so my son is a visual spatial learner and while we’ve been using AAS for the past two years, I’m looking to simplify next year and find something more independent since he’ll be in 4th grade next year. I’ve been eyeing spelling you see next year as I think it would really appeal to his learning style. However, unless I’m missing some deeper methodology, it seems like just identifying vowel and consonant teams within age appropriate copywork pieces. Our main curriculum already includes daily copywork. Couldn’t I just direct him to color in the appropriate phonograms and do dictation at the end of the week??
  16. Oh my goodness John can now move both eyes independently. I don't want to live here anymore.
  17. We had steak, homemade steak fries, steamed broccoli, and lemon custard. I'm tired now. I want to go to bed. I probably will, but I have some reading to do, so I'll do that while in bed!
  18. From CNBC “Apple rolled out iOS 13.3 on Tuesday with new controls that are supposed to give parents power over who their children talk to on an iPhone or iPad. It’s a big new feature that Apple is advertising and has garnered lots of press. ... Here’s what’s going on: The new software includes a new Communication Limits option that lets parents control who their kids can talk to. It’s supposed to let parents block their children from contacting anyone who isn’t in their address book. Children are also supposed to be prevented from adding new contacts unless a parent enters a PIN they set up ahead of time. So, for example, if a parent doesn’t want their kid talking to a bully at school, they can just remove the bully from their child’s address book and they won’t be able to do it. But Communication Limits does not work as advertised if contacts are not stored to iCloud by default. CNBC set up Communication Limits on an iPhone running iOS 13.3 so that a child can’t communicate with a number that’s not in their address book. But we discovered that when an unknown number texts the child’s phone, the child is given the option to add the number to their address book. After the kid adds the number to the address book, they can call, FaceTime or text that number. A child should not be able to add the contact to the iPhone’s address book without their parent entering their PIN first if the feature is working properly. CNBC also noticed that the keyboard sometimes vanishes on the first attempt to respond to a text message after the contact has been added. But going back a screen and then tapping back into the message thread brings the keyboard back. Kids can also skirt the protections using an Apple Watch paired to the iPhone. If they ask Siri on an Apple Watch to text or call any number, it will go through, whether it’s in the contact list or not. There is one exception to this bug. If the Downtime feature is enabled on the kid’s phone, they are not given the option to add a number to their address book after being contacted. Downtime is another feature in iOS. It lets parents limit which apps and features a child can use during certain periods of time. (For example, you can block your kid from using apps from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. the next day while they’re supposed to be sleeping.) Apple told CNBC, “This issue only occurs on devices set up with a non-standard configuration, and a workaround is available. We’re working on a complete fix and will release it in an upcoming software update.””
  19. She sounds like she's developing an alcohol problem, or self medicating, and nothing is goin to improve in her marriage while she does that.
  20. Dare I ask you to elaborate on this? We can joke about it among my siblings but one bizarre behavior has been my dad's obsession with a couple different women who made it clear they want nothing to do with him. Despite no contact with them in a couple years he regularly brings it up and wants their phone numbers. (I won't give them to him) We were all kind of aghast when he mentioned maybe getting married again and having more kids... thankfully (??) his physical limitations keep him from running out and finding a young bride. Physically, my dad can barely make it to the bathroom and back. But in his mind he is stilll the handsome young 20-something who won over my mother. 😄
  21. Yes definitely be a gray rock. A person like that feeds on your emotions and is also a crazy maker, trying to pit one against the other. The way they perceive life is different and all you can do is not engage. My sister never remembers her verbal attacks which usually come about because I didn't agree with her and then wonders why I don't want to talk to her any more. Loves to bring up her education and how much smarter or experienced she is when a disagreement occurs. My usual response to her is hmmm and changing the subject or gee, sorry you are having a bad day and moving on. I challenged her the other day so we're not speaking for a while. Good luck in your meeting and hope you all find a way to work it out.
  22. Yesterday
  24. Do you mean Vit B? Interestingly when he was hospitalized a few months ago they said his Vit B levels were critically low. He isn't on shots but he is taking a supplement now. I can't say I have noticed it helps with anything though.
  25. Thanks for your post, Taryn. Congratulations to your ds at being accepted! What is an "impacted" major? I've been to Denver, and know that it's a big city. I was wondering more of the student and staff culture, and the courses the university would expect their undergraduates to complete. I don't think she'd be thrilled to do a ton of courses not directly related to her major, which seems to be the expectation at US colleges. Thanks for the tip about Greeley. I'll look at that.
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