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  2. I work at a university. I do think it's somewhat unrealistic to expect an 18yo who is dealing with all the normal stresses of independence to also, from a standing start, get the evaluations that will allow the institution to put necessary structures and accommodations in place. At the very least, it is likely that many tests and essays will initially take place unaccommodated, then there may have to be a difficult appeals process. More likely is a leave of absence while things are sorted, then a later return, which is very disruptive and potentially expensive.
  3. I'm sorry that you are struggling so much with this. I am afraid that I don't really understand why you would feel like you had to shield an adult male from what really is just a case of a young man being a bit on the immature side.
  4. I'm wondering if he didn't actually have his share of the money to send you and that is why he kept stalling and making excuses. Maybe he "paid" for his solo trip with a credit card.
  5. I burned dinner. The kids didn’t mind as it meant IHOP instead. Day 1 of potty training went well—only 3 accidents, and he slept dry at nap time. I’m sorry y’all are all struggling. I’m praying for each of you. I watched a really sweet movie earlier on Prime- I Am Dragon. It’s in Russian with subtitles. Now I’m watching Aquaman with the older kids who will not just go to sleep! Getting up with Captain tomorrow morning is going to be killer. Schoolwork likely won’t be pleasant either. I do mot get why they won’t go to sleep like normal people! I’m thinking no more screens at bedtime.
  6. All those things that I bothered me about him not looking ahead and not being interested in his future so much, well, now he has time to. Here he had TKD everynight, church activities, dual enrollment, full time plus overtime work in the summer, missions trip, work on the house, commuting. He was tired and busy. Now he is scheduling ahead and looking into working at the math lab and starting a Judo club all on his own. I realize now it's because he has time. So maybe this is good. He can take advantage of learning the ropes, knowing timelines and how to look for internships and on campus jobs and just have things down. He told me he can fit in everything he wants in under 18 credits if he takes a summer class and I'm like, "Are you not coming home for summer?" "What about work and paying for a place, blah blah blah." To which he responded that there were some things he could take online. So maybe under scheduling isn't that bad of a thing. It's giving him the breather he hasn't had (especially with our added displacement due to the earthquake and other crazy life circumstances) and he can get re-enrgized for another 4 years and that is a good thing because he is on his own now and he needs to have his own motivation and take really take charge.
  7. Today
  8. maybe one day, but not yet. I believe that would be a sever the relationship and never have contact again move. I'm not ready to do that yet. and he does take his anger out on other people.
  9. PeterPan

    Blah.

    Or maybe a new GP to see if your meds are even a good fit? I mean, I love it when men blame us and say if we tried harder (with their awesome wisdom) we'd be fine. So she's such a crumb bucket you're avoiding her and going somewhere else. That's insane. That's like this RDI chick I took ds to today and the chick is like no I'm going to do academics, and she caused this total royal meltdown. And then, after she caused the meltdown, she blamed ME and said that he had no visible symptoms of the impending doom, which she can certify because she's an expert in nonverbals. I mean, it was just the stupidest mess I've seen in a while, the LEAST qualified person I've ever taken him to who claimed to know something about autism. Knew jack. So maybe your GP got a C in some stuff? I don't know, I don't like 'em. My guy is Catholic, so maybe that informs his demeanor somehow? LOL No clue. Maybe try a Catholic doctor? Maybe the priests tell them doctors who treat their patients crummy rot, bwhwhahahah. (I'm joking here. But really, could be worth a try.) Ok, so I'll tell you my other most excellent tip on finding docs that isn't really a tip because it couldn't possibly work again. Try somebody who is open whom nobody else likes. I mean, seriously, my doc has kind of a hairbrained reputation, has written prescriptions wrong (yes, lol, but in his defense he's not from here), etc. So I picked a pretty normal practice and he was the black sheep who couldn't keep clients. I think it's that I'm so eccentric that I can overlook eccentricities. Turns out he's wicked smart, has all kinds of bizarre knowledge, and is really easy to collaborate with. Go figure. But you wouldn't know it from the way they whisper about him at the pharmacy, haha. I hope you feel better soon! Feeling unwell sucks, and if you should have gotten tamiflu and didn't because you didn't feel confident you'd get good care from your GP then that even more sucks. I remember you've been sick a lot, and getting a fresh GP actually helped me stop getting sick.
  10. This is quite possibly the BEST software find OF MY LIFE. For those of you who teach or write about science and/or math, this could be life changing. Particularly those who need to write out chemical formulae all the time and who are so sick of “Shift-C-shift-H-subscript-3-off subscript-shift-C-shift-H-subscript-2-off subscript and on and on…” or “Shift-H-subscript-2-off subscript-shift-P-shift-O-subscript-4-off subscript-superscript-1-off superscript“, etc. that they could scream. I present… https://www.efofex.com/fxsciencepack.php And if you already knew about this, WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME?!?!? 😜😁 The above is the link to the science tools but if you go up to “Products”, then FX Draw is their math tool product. But back to the science tools… The FX Chem and FX ChemStruct tools are BRILLIANT. You can download the trials for free and check it out. The trials have all the functionality of the paid version but have a watermark over any structure or equation you export. The paid version is only $40USD for a year. If I open up FX Chem and just type in h2po41- with no capitals, subscripts, superscripts – NOTHIN’ – it gives me a fully formatted formula. If I type that (but slightly altered as poohoho :)) into FX ChemStruct, it gives me a Lewis structure like the one below. I didn't even need to tell it that there would be a charge or where the double bond would be. BRILLIANT.
  11. Pack up stuff for Ds and send it off school dd is getting needed signatures for her thing.
  12. Hard day today. My blood sugars were in free fall more than once and weren’t wanting to stabilize. Tonight my muscles have been cramping big time because potassium leaches out of the bloodstream with hypoglycemia. Going to tweak my meds.
  13. page 4.13 of ASD book 1, Moreau makes a comment "As students become more proficient at thinking about and expressing these episode components, their comprehension of the situation or story increases...not only by number... but the quality of the 'details' ... I'd like to see some real life examples of Abbreviated Episodes. So far the stages have seemed pretty natural, but this is kind of funky because it's like the dc gets so wrapped up in pondering the emotion that it's just like boom, done, down to the bow tie. So it's a radically different type of narrative in that sense, which is why I'm trying to ponder what this is like in real life. To answer my own question, 4.9 has brief examples. They're kinda crummy, but they're there. I don't think their example is exactly what it would be like, but it makes sense to me now. Yeah, I could totally imagine those happening. But they would happen naturally as his use of emotion cranks up. Without that, you wouldn't have it, lol. The other thing that shows is when they're saying emotion following a kick-off, they're talking something possibly more complex than hot/cold, sad/happy. How the person felt about it involves some inferences and perspective taking complexity.
  14. Caedmyn, I am reading between the lines on this thread and remembering other threads of yours, and I also am seeing that your situation is extremely limited, due to your husband's absolute unwillingness to agree to evaluations and/or school enrollment. Even though I believe those things would greatly help, I believe you that they are completely off the table. It seems that you can't go against your husband's decisions in these areas. Not because you are wishy washy or not willing to consider things yourself, but because you do not have the power to. Instead, you have to carefully use the opportunities that you do have, in order to try to make things better. That leaves you having to deal with a lot on your own. Too much, and yet, you must deal with it anyway, in the best way that you can, even though the results may be imperfect. I admire your determination. I admire your willingness to keep posting your questions, even though the responses always seem to eventually veer toward criticizing or questioning what you say. You keep searching for better answers. Although I believe you are being denied the opportunity to use the best tools, you have still been able to do a lot of intervention. You are holding up under a lot of pressure. I think you are in a really hard, hard place. I'm sorry. I hope you are able to glean some helpful ideas to make the babysitting work better.
  15. Hard day today. My blood sugars were in free fall more than once and weren’t wanting to stabilize. Tonight my muscles have been cramping big time because potassium leaches out of the bloodstream with hypoglycemia. Going to tweak my meds.
  16. GroupMe is a free, easy to use alternative to Slack that is available for both iPhone and Android. I love Slack, a lot of my clients use it and add me to their finance or accounting teams. GroupMe is what I use for large group chats for things like PTO board.
  17. Wait, are you going to be able to keep your half of the 401(k) or are you going to use that for your girl’s college debt? I would be hesitant to not hold onto that retirement nest egg. If I were your daughter, I would want to refinance my student loans and pay them myself rather than take your retirement. Remember, when the time comes you can also file for SS on his account and not your own. Your benefit would be 65% of his benefit and that’s unfortunately probably larger than 100% of yours. I’m sorry that the final orders weren’t everything you asked for. Does he have to pay your lawyer?
  18. Yahoo groups??? Are other websites/apps ok? You might be able to start a www.meetup.com group that was private for a few months at least for free. They have a spot that has forums for each private group. Then the 10 people would have to join, they have a website as well as an apple app and I am sure an Android app as well.
  19. I'm sorry that everything went awry, and that you are hurt. I think it's unusual for a 22 year old to devote that much time and money to traveling with younger siblings. I noticed from your signature that you have many children, and often the oldest takes more responsibility than is typical in large families. While that has been okay with him in the past, perhaps now that he is working on establishing his independence, it doesn't sit as well with him. He definitely handled things poorly. I think that I would no longer expect or trust him to travel with the younger children. You say that he enjoys spending time with them, and that is fine, but he can do that while they are in town together and does not need to involve taking trips. Personally, I would not put someone who resists taking advice and direction from me in charge of some of my children on a long cross-country trip. I realize that you have done it before, but now that it's obvious that unexpected things can go wrong, I would not do it again. You say that you know that he must have the money, but you also mention that he is not saving and is spending unwisely. Perhaps he does not have a great sense about what he should be doing with his income. I think it would be better for his long-term success for you to not count on him to spend any big chunks of money on anyone but himself, while he is a young adult. He can (and should, in my opinion) be saving for a house, a future family, a college degree, and his retirement instead. So I'm sorry that you are hurt. But the situation may signal that it's time to change the expectations and dynamics. You could let him know that you want him to be saving money instead of spending it, and that therefore, big trips like this will not be expected of him and will not be accepted from him as gifts. Then arrange for a fun in-town activity, so that the family can spend time together in a different way. I know this would not change your hurt feelings. But it may keep this kind of problem from repeating itself. I would be really hurt by the fact that he took the trip by himself. But if you can work your way past that, perhaps you can see it as a nonverbal sign from him that he is wanting to launch out on his own now. It is a painful way for him to let you know that.
  20. I think it was good you reached out. Keep loving on him and praise where you can. I find that goes way further than criticism in changing behavior.
  21. I think it's normal for children to seem to prefer or be more comfortable around one parent over another, and often that will be the mother, especially when they're younger. So, I don't think it's unusual at all for your biological kids to favor you in this way. I was like that with my own mother, although I can tell you that I certainly loved my dad just as much! And of course that preference changes over time as you feel closer to one over the other for different reasons. As far as your adopted child, who knows what led him to the point of preferring your dh, but for whatever reason, it probably has to do with his past and the way his brain has tried to sort it out and his own personality. I agree that you should just keep doing what you're doing... Try not to take it personally, and keep on loving just as you're already doing. You and your dh can work at finding ways to connect uniquely with each child. Also, video chats when in the hospital is a great idea!
  22. Terabith

    Blah.

    My pastor friend also suggested that once I get over the flu I might think about going to day treatment to see about being proactive about the depression.
  23. I have a chart with the vowel teams, one of my students had so much trouble with ou the I made it red for him, ou ouch blood red. http://www.thephonicspage.org/On Reading/Resources/OnePageVowelChart.pdf They learn the sounds with the color version, then on the black and white chart. I also teach along with it the normal spelling patterns for when each is used, within or at the end of a word or syllable: http://www.thephonicspage.org/On Reading/Resources/PL26VowelChart.pdf
  24. That seems dang inconvenient for her and not necessarily effective for him. At 17, honestly, his choice may be to just go be at his friends’ as much as he can. This just seems petty, TBH, according to my 17yo. He said if he was stubborn, he would just use that one thing forever as spiteful obedience, knowing it was inconveniencing his mom to have to pack everything up. 😂 🙄
  25. Terabith

    Blah.

    I have a GP. She’s....fine. But when I had clear cut kidney stones earlier this month she blew me off. The whole debacle was not managed well. I don’t love her. And urgent care is easier to get into.
  26. When one parent has been with a hospitalized child, we tried to arrange daily video chats so that there was contact. I would often step out for a breath of fresh air—arranging for a nurse to quietly be doing “stuff” so an adult was in the room if the child was needing PICU level monitoring. It gave the kid space to bond, iykwim.
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