Wow, what a blast from the past! My kid was sitting at the table when I read this, so we looked at it together to see what we remembered, what we actually read, and what we skipped. One thing for sure, we didn't read everything on that list! Like most of my plans, it had like twice as much as was actually possible to cover. Here are the things we both remember enjoying. We are left with the impression that it was a good science year, FWIW! Core texts: Science Matters & SWB's Story of Science Independent reads completed: String, Straight-Edge & Shadow; The Clockwork Universe; The Story of Science/Einstein; The Bomb; McHenry's The Cell & The Brain; Exploring the Way Life Works; The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat Read alouds: The Voyage of the Beagle & Why Evolution Is True We also watched a bunch of PBS videos & a ton of other videos from HHMI's BioInteractive.org. I love that site, it had a ton of great, engaging, easy to use resources. Looks like even more now than 7 years ago. Thanks for that fun walk down memory lane!

Thanks for sharing, Melissa. I was particularly struck by this paragraph from the conclusion, which packs a lot of what we've been discussing into a couple of sentences: "Being gender non-conforming, or wishing to opt out of gender altogether, is not only not indicative of mental disorder – it is, in many ways, an entirely rational response to present capitalist reliance on rigid gender norms and roles. However, when multiple medical interventions are required on an otherwise healthy body or doctors are expected to deny the concept of sex or the sexed body, the situation becomes less coherent. The notion of conversion therapy for those seeing themselves as transgender relies on another binary – that of ‘cisgender’ and ‘transgender’ – being set, closed, biologically anchored categories without overlap, rather than a more plausible hypothesis that one's gender identity is flexible, informed by one's culture, personality, personal preferences and social milieu."

I think this is a huge factor, as strong or stronger than social influence. On sexuality as well as gender identity. I don't have a lot of data at my fingertips to back up that opinion, but it's something I mean to research more when I have the time. A google search will bring up a lot of articles on the effects of endocrine disruptors in humans and in other animal species. I can't imagine that it has no impact on the things we've been discussing in this thread.

How do you decide which kids are "actually transgender"? What are the criteria? I mean, it sounds like a lot of folks here don't accept "the kid says they are" as a valid criterion.

Yes. Yes, we tell them that. For years. And then, sometimes, we realize that in a given case, it *isn't* temporary. Or "normal." And so we adjust to the new conditions in which we find ourselves. Again, not trying to suggest that this isn't a normal, temporary condition for most teens. For many it does pass with time and maturity. But just trying to retain space in the conversation for those who don't fit the "normal" pattern.

This. This so much. And I'd like to offer the thought that some of the "late" transitioning that many see as inauthentic/based on peer pressure is actually this: an nb child can feel perfectly comfortable in a body that is not that different in form or function from all/other children's bodies (at least not in any way that kids typically see). Once that body changes, dramatically, in an unwelcome manner, they can become deeply uncomfortable with that body - it no longer feels right to them, because it has changed dramatically. They feel like the same person that they always did, but suddenly their body is completely different. This is a real, authentic experience that some people have. This isn't to say that peer-influenced desire to transition is not real. Just that it isn't the only reason for someone to identify as nb or trans "later" than early childhood.

It doesn't sound stupid at all. We've been struggling with inexplicable chronic illness for 5 years now. When the geneticist finally dxd my kid, I cried. Not just because we finally had an answer, but because he showed a lot of compassion, and seemed to get that what we were going through sucked. Hugs to you. I hope you find answers.

Sorry, a naturopathic doctor, or at least a lyme-literate doctor who understands that mold mycotoxins can have health effects that go beyond straight-up IgE allergies. There are some MDs who do, but in our experience, none who take our insurance! This is a controversial topic in the "straight" medical community, so I don't want to get in the weeds here, but if it's something you want to explore I would recommend this book by Dr. Neil Nathan (MD).

I agree to testing for all that Jean mentioned, as well as mold/mycotoxins. Although in our experience you will need an ND or Lyme-literate doctor for that. Otherwise you will just get an IgE test for mold allergy and be told it's not an issue.

Here is the one we are using: https://www.truehope.com/inositol I know there are other formulations, our ND suggested the one from Xymogen (RelaxMax powder) which contains other amino acids as well. But this formulation is the one that really helped with pain, so we're sticking with it. FWIW, Truehope is a supplement company with a ton of clinical research backing up its products, particularly for mental health support. I'm not shilling for it or anything, but we've tried a lot of supplements and I'm really impressed with this company based on our own experience. So just sharing in case others find that helpful.

Ok, this is kind of weird, and YMMV, but my kid with constant, chronic pain (was diagnosed with fibro, now diagnosed with hypermobile EDS) has recently discovered that inositol helps a lot with pain. They started taking it for ADHD/anxiety type symptoms, as it is meant to help with calm focus without being sedating, but they immediately noticed that it really made a dent in their pain - both joint/muscle/ligament/tendon pain and headache pain related to craniocervical instability. We were really pleasantly surprised. Also cucurmin (in the form of Curaphen Extra Strength) helps somewhat. And for really bad breakthrough pain, 1/2 tablet of Norco so they can get some sleep. ETA: and, hugs. So sorry you are going through this.

Agreed.

@Melissa Louise Maybe I am "vastly under-estimating" the impact. Which is why I asked. Extrapolating from our own experience and our friend group leads me to think it's not a huge issue, but obviously your experience is different. I'm sorry for that, it sounds really awful. I do think it must vary wildly by area. I live in a very queer-friendly area but often in the US news we read of people experiencing the opposite of affirmation. That feels more the norm here than what you are describing in the UK. But again, my personal experience is limited, which is what makes these discussions so valuable.

This is what I wish, too. My kid is over 18, so I'm not having to grapple with this question for a child. At this point, it's their choice, and their dysphoria is significant enough that medical interventions are strongly desired. I would love it if affirmation/support of the gender identity were sufficient, but it isn't.

I am really appreciating this discussion. I have a question, though. I see a lot of gender critical feminists (which is how I would have classified myself a few years ago, fwiw) express a concern about girls being led/pressured into identifying as nb or trans. I'm wondering if, in anyone's experience, this is really a thing. It's certainly not in ours - I would say that my nb kid led/dragged us into an understanding of their identity, rather than the other way around. The same is true of the 3 other (FTM) trans kids I know well. Their families/doctors are supportive, but certainly no one suggested or led them into "choosing" this identity. It came from inside of them. I mean, other than a subsection of instagram/tumblr/tiktok, being nb or trans is not actually an easy, trendy, or glamorous thing, IRL, I don't think. From what I've seen it's usually a gut-wrenching, painful, long, involved process, which includes a ton of soul-searching & self-education, long conversations with family/friends/doctors, and a realization that you may face an incredible amount of discrimination and even violence once you are out/presenting in a manner that is comfortable for you. You risk losing friends, extended family members, having difficulty getting jobs, being called names when you're out in public. It's an incredibly difficult process that takes courage and fortitude. Totally worth it for the kids I know, but not something anyone would take on just to follow a trend. Thoughts? Different experiences? I have found myself worrying about this in the abstract, too, but IRL it doesn't seem to be a real thing, at least among the families of trans kids that I know personally.