Liza Q Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 If you are a Christian - would you spend more, sacrifice more, do more to have your child attend a Christian college? I am asking because The Kings College (it was my daughter's first choice) called yesterday to offer her a few more thousand dollars. She would still have to live at home - the commute 3+ hours round trip. And she would have to have a part-time job during the year, not just summer work. And she would be on the financial edge - I could easily see that she could run out of money after her second year and have to take a semester (or 2!) off to work and save. But she luuuuurves this school - she loves the people and the feel and the mission and the look of the classes. She wants to meet more Christians her own age who love the city and love to think. Her second choice is closer (like 2+hour round trip) and not as expensive. It is not a Christian college, though it is a small, friendly Catholic Liberal Art college that we all really like. It has a broader curriculum with more options in classes and majors, which I do like. It is more practical but - does not have the focus of Kings. Being specific, the difference in price between the schools now is $2,500. We can't pay the difference as what we are already planning to pay is a sacrifice. Any more sacrifice and I feel that we would be cheating our younger children. She is already planning to pay her expenses - books, food, transportation, laptop. She will earn more this summer but - who knows if she will get a full time job? How much will she really be able to earn and save? We live debt-free so borrowing is not an option for us. She could....but she does not want to be in any debt either. I know that I should be trusting God that he will provide but - I don't want to presume. Any thoughts? I'll take some prayers too!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen in VA Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 WOW! What a decision! I would be careful of your dd overcommiting. Working part-time on top of going to college full-time will consume most of your dd's time. Adding a three-hour daily commute on top of that is a LOT. You might actually call up the dean of students at King's College and ask what his experience has been with students working part-time AND doing a lengthy commute on top of classes. He has experience dealing with the students at King's College and could probably provide some words of wisdom. He does not want your daughter to run into academic problems at college -- having students that drop out reflects poorly on the college -- so I think you can probably put some trust in what he says. My perspective -- my dd has a work-study that she can work on up to 10 hours per week. Now, since she can only work during business hours she would have problems fitting in the full ten hours anyway, but even living on campus juggling her coursework is enough of a challenge that she only worked 1.5 hours last week! :-/ (Her college is fairly work-intensive) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K-FL Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 (edited) If you are a Christian - would you spend more, sacrifice more, do more to have your child attend a Christian college? We live debt-free so borrowing is not an option for us. She could....but she does not want to be in any debt either. I know that I should be trusting God that he will provide but - I don't want to presume. Any thoughts? I'll take some prayers too!!! All I can say is that we are spending more etc for dd#1 to attend a Christian college (Palm Beach Atlantic.) We can't borrow to help her so we'll do what we can, but the rest is up to her. She's gotten great scholarships & then there's state aid, but there's still about $4k not covered & she'll have about $5k in loans for yr1. Since Catholics are Christian, is there a problem with this particular college's focus? (meaning--There's lots of schools that are Christian-in-name-only.) We wanted our dd to learn a Christian worldview out there in the big world. We wanted her faith to be nurtured, not ridiculed. Plus the Mrs. Bennett in me wants her to meet nice, Christian young men. BTW--She also applied & was accepted to King's, but the cost plus culture shock was more than she/we could manage (even though you're welcome to the $$ they offered her! :)) Edited May 1, 2009 by K-FL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 Being specific, the difference in price between the schools now is $2,500. We can't pay the difference as what we are already planning to pay is a sacrifice. Any more sacrifice and I feel that we would be cheating our younger children. It sounds like the decision is sort of made for you. The Catholic school is the one you can afford. Maybe that would be a disappointment if the school wasn't as good but it really sounds like an excellent option (and it IS a Christian school as well after all.). Just the travel time for the other one would be exhausting for your family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liza Q Posted May 1, 2009 Author Share Posted May 1, 2009 We wanted our dd to learn a Christian worldview out there in the big world. We wanted her faith to be nurtured, not ridiculed. Plus the Mrs. Bennett in me wants her to meet nice, Christian young men. YES - I feel the same way! But being financially free (I hate that phrase - sounds super holy but I don't know how else to put it :confused:) and having a well-rounded education are also important. And yes, I do know that Catholics are Christians. ;) But there is usually a difference between a "Christian" College and a Catholic College - at least the ones I know! This particular school seems not to be a Catholic-in-name-only but it is hard to tell from the outside. We like their focus on service and personal development. Kings has a focus on "preparing students for principled leadership" - honestly, I do not see my daughter in that light. But maybe they will encourage her to dream bigger? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 Well, if it helps any, my dd chose to attend a Catholic college (we are not Catholic, we are Protestant). She loves it. We looked at one Christian college, and quite frankly, it was horribly legalistic. The students at that school are required to attend a certain number of church services, prayer meetings, etc. per week, and dd felt that that was more like Big Brother. She's loving her Catholic college. She's made great friends and is getting one heck of an education. The full scholarship is nice, too, lol! Ria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 And yes, I do know that Catholics are Christians. ;) But there is usually a difference between a "Christian" College and a Catholic College - at least the ones I know! This particular school seems not to be a Catholic-in-name-only but it is hard to tell from the outside. We like their focus on service and personal development. Kings has a focus on "preparing students for principled leadership" - honestly, I do not see my daughter in that light. But maybe they will encourage her to dream bigger? I'm just thinking that in light of some recent threads some more specificity might be in order like "baptist" or "protestant worldview" (which is unsatisfying as well :)). There's such a diversity of people here it's best to use focused language. Don't ask me how to do that when refering to King's though. I talk a good game but leave the hard work to others! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapsetmom Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 What are your daughter's reasons for attending college? As in career plans, personal development? Does she anticipate meeting her future spouse there possibly? Would it be a problem with you if she married a Catholic or someone from a more diverse background? Which school better meets her needs for the future? To be honest, though, unless you are willing to take out loans or you, by faith, are expecting that the Lord is ready and willing to provide any necessary money, I don't see how King's college can be an option without overwhelming your daughter with a large workload and time-consuming commute. I saw King's college's website and as a Christian, it does look wonderful. However, the Lord doesn't always lead the way we expect. I would definitely be praying for some clear direction if I were in your position. Finally, what does your daughter think is best and want to do? You don't want her to have regrets or feel pressured into making a decision that doesn't resonate with her heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeacherZee Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 I can't answer your questions directly but I have some questions you and your daughter might want to consider (my sister had a 3 hour round trip commute to school): 1) Is she going to be driving? If yes, how will conditions be in the winter (rain/snow)? Could conditions stop her from coming home at the end of the day? If yes what is the plan? Will it be safe to drive if she is tired? How will she ensure that she is always safe to drive? 2) Is she taking public transportation? If yes, what if for some reason the buses/trains don't run? What is plan B? What if she misses the last bus home? Are the buses/bus stops safe? My personal experience with commuting for a 2+ hour round trip 5 days a week to work is that it takes a LOT out of you. If she is driving she will lose 3 hours of study each day. That can be frustrating. If she takes public transport at least she can study on the bus/train. I hope these questions will make it a bit easier to make up your mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 I would really recommend the Catholic colllege. There are always extra costs to college that you don't know about before the semester starts- mandatory supplies, mandatory trips that cost extra, etc. I also don't think communting three hours a day is good. I did a bit less during graduate school but I had no part-time job over the 10 hour grad asst. position and on good days, it took only about two and a half hours, roundtrips. I chose classes so I only commuted two days a week. It still was hard. I didn't have any money problems to add to the struggle. College is difficult enough without a burden like this. Unless you are going to go into ministry and need a denominational program, a school that has a good value system and isn't anti=Christian should fit. The Catholic college you describe is not only not anti=Christian, it is Christian, just not Protestant. I have been considering some Catholic colleges for my children even though we aren't Catholic either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 I've read that the biggest reason people don't finish their degrees is finances. So I'm pretty much in favor of the Catholic option, especially since it has a shorter commute as well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liza Q Posted May 3, 2009 Author Share Posted May 3, 2009 Thank you all so much. I think that I have been feeling that it was somehow *holier* to go to a Christian (in the same Protestant way we are Christians!!) College. And I so wish that she could continue to study with the same Biblical world-view that we have used through our homeschooling. And she would love to meet so many people her age who have the same pov. But she decided to go with the other school - St. Francis in Brooklyn Heights, in case any of you want to check out a nice Liberal Arts College in a great neighborhood! We had a family meeting and she knew what was right - being responsible and prudent and not being snooty, thinking that the people she will meet at St. Francis will somehow be less likely to be good friend material than those she would meet at Kings. Being a Christian Homeschooler has led to some,er, exclusive attitudes among some of us :001_huh: - it was a good family meeting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Congrats! Sounds like you guys made a great decision. And don't be embarrassed about any exclusive attitudes. The embarrassment lies in having them without recognizing or addressing them, not simply in having them in the first place. In fact, you've got me thinking about some attitudes (although probably from the opposite end of the belief spectrum as yours) that run too freely in my own family at the moment and need some confronting. Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tea Time Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Thank you all so much. I think that I have been feeling that it was somehow *holier* to go to a Christian (in the same Protestant way we are Christians!!) College. And I so wish that she could continue to study with the same Biblical world-view that we have used through our homeschooling. And she would love to meet so many people her age who have the same pov. But she decided to go with the other school - St. Francis in Brooklyn Heights, in case any of you want to check out a nice Liberal Arts College in a great neighborhood! We had a family meeting and she knew what was right - being responsible and prudent and not being snooty, thinking that the people she will meet at St. Francis will somehow be less likely to be good friend material than those she would meet at Kings. Being a Christian Homeschooler has led to some,er, exclusive attitudes among some of us :001_huh: - it was a good family meeting! Oo-Ouch, ouch, ouch. Having just been received, as a family, from the Protestant world into the Catholic world, our family has seen, first hand, this kind of attitude on both sides. My dd, who is finishing her first year at a classical, liberal arts, Catholic university, would be so hurt and heartbroken if she read your post. She is such a dedicated Christian, and so are some of her best friends - who come from all Christian backgrounds from Anglican, to Evangelical, to Mormon, to charismatic... you name it! We have met "nominal Christians" in all of them, too. And believe me, after more than a decade of researching all these groups, I understand their theological similarities and differences, but it does not change the fact that Godly people keep popping up everywhere! ;) Something to keep in mind though is the fact that many, many kids go to colleges that their parents insist upon (and are willing to pay for), so you get a lot of kids that are not Christian in their beliefs at all. Period. They go there because their parents make them for whatever reason. Some of them are rebellious and hostile toward the faith. Personally, I would rather parents who have children hostile to the Catholic faith NOT send their kids to a Catholic college if they only intend to damage or demean it. KWIM? Another point that has not been brought up is that Catholic liberal arts schools generally have excellent academic reputations and often provide a classical education. My dd's school has a great books core curriculum. There are no other Christian universities in our state that can compare, academically (except the other Catholic ones). But maybe that is kind of being snobby of me, too! :glare: I have to check my tendency to worship at the alter of intellect, mostly intellect I wish I had rather than what I do have! :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liza Q Posted May 5, 2009 Author Share Posted May 5, 2009 Oh Tea Time - I did not want to be hurtful :eek: and I am so sorry. Sometimes it is hard to put things into words. When I said *Christian* I meant Christian-like-I-am and I promise to be more careful here on the board in the future. We are much happier with Saint Francis than we would ever be with many "Christian" colleges! And I do appreciate the core curriculum at St. F - my daughter is excited about having THREE required philosophy classes! This has been a good experience for our whole family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tea Time Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Liza, 'Tis okay! No harm done :D, I really do know what you meant and how the text doesn't convey what we always mean! I'm delighted for you and your daughter! What an exciting time! I am happy that your family has found peace with the decision! Best of luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luv2quilt Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 I would most definitely make whatever sacrifices to send mine to a Christian college. My dd completed her first year at an outstanding Christian college. It has been the best year of her life. She has made so many Christian friends, had such caring Christian teachers, grown so much in her faith, and possibly met her future husband who is the most godly young man I have ever met. On the contrary, her best friend from High school went to a state school and has had one of the worst years. She has been bar-hoping with her friends, fell in love with a man twice her age, taken up cursing and has pretty much lost her faith--all in only one year. Her parents are so distraught. So yes, if you can swing it at all, it is DEFINITELY worth it. It is a decision that could affect them for the rest of their lives!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K-FL Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 On the contrary, her best friend from High school went to a state school and has had one of the worst years. She has been bar-hoping with her friends, fell in love with a man twice her age, taken up cursing and has pretty much lost her faith--all in only one year. Her parents are so distraught. So yes, if you can swing it at all, it is DEFINITELY worth it. It is a decision that could affect them for the rest of their lives!!! This was/is our biggest fear for all our dc. While Lisa Q's situation is different in that her dd is living at home & has a commute thrown in, we don't have a 4 yr college here. Dd HAS to live on campus & for us it's worth the $$ for a Christian college over a state school (or even secular private) just for the reasons above. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Another point that has not been brought up is that Catholic liberal arts schools generally have excellent academic reputations and often provide a classical education. My dd's school has a great books core curriculum. There are no other Christian universities in our state that can compare, academically (except the other Catholic ones). But maybe that is kind of being snobby of me, too! :glare: I have to check my tendency to worship at the alter of intellect, mostly intellect I wish I had rather than what I do have! :confused: There really is truth to some of the reputation of Catholic schools. Especially Jesuit ones. Education and intellectual challenge are prime focuses of the Jesuit order and it really comes across in how they teach apparently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Lorna Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 May I ask a question a little off topic here? My daughter is interested in The Kings College, and we are Catholic. Does anyone have an opinion as to whether a Catholic student would be happy at this Protestant worldview Christian college? Her other schools of choice are mostly classical liberal arts Catholic colleges and a couple of the ivy league schools. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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