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If you have a child not interested in college would you still push them?


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My 14 yo Dd is not interested in college at this time. I know things can change and I still plan to give her a good education. However, if she does go into college it isn't going to be for a science or math related field. She is artsy and I can see her heading that way. So, should I continue to push her with the science and maths that she doesn't like and struggles with or should I push her in the stuff she excels at and do the bare basics for math and science?

Edited by Quiver0f10
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Jean, this is a hard call.

 

As one who taught college mathematics to adults in programs paid for by corporations (essentially the companies brought the college to their employees to help them complete degrees), I would say push. I cannot tell you how many adults have told me how hard it is to have a job, a family, community or church responsibilities, and then homework. Every adult whom I have taught felt that their children were learning a lesson on the importance of staying in school and then doing some form of post-secondary studies.

 

Having then that, I will also comment on how many young people I have met who should not have been in college. They were wasting their time and their parent's money.

 

What to do, what to do.

 

I would consider asking your daughter to focus on the minimum requirements for a basic state university education (non-competitive program) while in high school. Then I would ask her to complete an associate's degree or technical certification so that she can support herself. If, after supporting herself for a few years, she decides to go to a university, she has the necessary background.

 

She does not have to complete Algebra 2 in a year. This is a case where you might want to drag that third math course over two years.

 

Best,

Jane

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I think I would make her do math through Algebra 2 and maybe Physical Science and Biology or Chemisty. Probably not Biology and Chemistry.

 

I would also help her explore careers in the things that interest her. I think I wouldn't worry about a 4 year college, but maybe a degree at the Community college. Also, there are degrees for cooking, photography, etc... Maybe if you think outside the box she might find something she would love to study and do!?

 

Just my ramblings....my oldest is only 14 so we aren't in this situation yet????

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My 14 yo Dd is not interested in college at this time. I know things can change and I still plan to give her a good education. However, if she does go into college it isn't going to be for a science or math related field. She is artsy and I can see her heading that way. So, should I continue to push her with the science and maths that she doesn't like and struggles with or should I push her in the stuff she excels at and do the bare basics for math and science?

 

You could be describing my Dd, 14 :) She loves music and singing and is quite talented. She loves to cook and knits beautifully. She is a voracious reader of many genres. She sort of "hit the wall" in Algebra a few weeks ago and was in tears over it. We have backed off and she is doing some practical math and easier algebra and geometry to keep from getting rusty while she takes a breather. She doesn't see the point in taking any higher math, but I am hoping that we can get through Algebra 2 as a bare minimum. She feels like the sciences go right through her head and don't stick. Lyrical Science cds have been her favorite and it certainly ties in with her love of musical tunes. She isn't sure if college is for her, but she will take all the courses necessary to keep that path open.

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I'd give her a college-prep education, with a much math and science as she can possibly handle (not just "like" but "handle") for two reasons:

 

1. If she does decide to go to college, she'll be better prepared.

 

2. If she doesn't decide to go to college, the education you give her at home will be the last formal education she will ever have. Make it a good one.

 

I have never regretted my wide and deep high school education (lots of math and science and lots of arts and music), because it has stood me in good stead intellectually, professionally, and practically over the years. My own homeschool-graduate sons have told me many times that they are glad I gave them the same kind of high school education, because they feel it provided them with more reasoning and problem-solving skills, and just general knowledge and understanding of how the world works, than their young adult friends have.

Edited by Janet in WA
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This is also my 18 yo (and my 22 yo for that matter :001_smile:). They both had to finish Alg 1 and go through Keys to Geo. They both completed Gen, Phys and either Bio or Chem with Apologia. My 18 yo has also had 2 years of Logic.

They both had/have a ridiculous amount of credits in government, speech, performance, wriiting, literature, history.

My oldest just started college last fall (as a 21 yo fresh). She'll finish her first year with 42 credits under her belt, having worked 20 hrs a week as well. She's going to Romania again this summer and is continuing to gain fluency in Hungarian and Romanian. Despite her lack of math and science she is thriving, doing what she loves and continues to be challenged.

My 18 yo doesn't plan to go to college in the fall. She's going to work at least p.t. and plans to continue at home with Latin, Logic and maybe Alg II (her dad is tutoring). She continues to paint, create collages, do photography, write and is beginning to think of herself as an artist and talk with professional artists that she knows about training, internships, etc.

I wish we'd had it more together with our oldest dd- held her toes to the fire more, but given our life circumstances, it just wasn't possible. I do think that my 18 yo has appreciated us holding her accountable, even when she has strongly disliked the work. Just this morning she planned a collage based on a syllogism :001_smile:

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Push her so she has at least a minimum level of education to enter a 2-year college program.

 

Like others have said, either --

 

1) This is the last formal education she will EVER have. In this case, make sure she has a solid enough grounding that you feel she could homeschool her own kids and/or hold a decent job.

 

2) She will decide later to go back to school. Going back to school as an adult is a hard road to travel due to other commitments, so she should develop as strong a background now in high school as she can so it will be easier then.

 

Many of the girls in our ex-church essentially gave up school after 10th grade in favor of babysitting and developing their homemaking skills. This may sound pretty and cute and picturesque, but if these girls ever actually need to earn a living (or even teach their own kids!!!!!) they will not have the background necessary.

 

PUSH!!! PUSH!!! PUSH!!! And try to help her understand WHY you want her to continue in her studies. Education is an opportunity and should be regarded as such.

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I have observed from my own family that art and engineering and architecture and design are very closely linked. I would be worried that artsy might turn into engineering designy, and I would make sure she had a good enough grounding in math and science (at least two lab sciences including chemistry and physics, and four years of math getting through at least pre-calculus) that she could get into college to do some sort of technical field if she so chose later. I had one who said that he didn't want to go to college. Three years out of high school, he changed his mind and at that point, we were very glad that the ps guidance councilor had insisted on four years of math and four of science. I would, however, try to keep her non-art academics from taking up too much of her time because art takes hours and hours and hours of practice. Many artists have to be business people, too, so I think I would try to incorporate a small business/self-employment elective.

Just my thoughts...

-Nan

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Thank you all! I do plan to have her do physical, biology and chemistry and Alg I, II and geometry. What I was thinking though was Apologia for her science and TT for math. I figure if she does TT and does all their courses including the pre-calc that she would have = to a typical Alg II education. I really don't care for TT and have posted many times @ our experience with it, but I am wondering if this is the right course for this child.

Edited by Quiver0f10
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I have observed from my own family that art and engineering and architecture and design are very closely linked. I would be worried that artsy might turn into engineering designy

 

Our middle son is finishing a degree in journalism. Throughout his pre-college schooling, he was SURE he wanted to be a marine biologist. He was (and still is) fascinated with marine life. Thus, we gave him a very rigorous education in math and sciences. However, after his freshman year of college, he concluded that he really wasn't interested in WORKING with marine science, but rather WRITING ABOUT it. He's not going to be a scientist after all, because his real gift and passion lie in research and writing. I am eternally grateful that while we were grounding him in math and science, we were also giving him a thorough grounding in language arts.
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To answer the OP: Yes. Because in this day and age, a four-year college degree is a passport. It gets you in, no matter what you're doing. Even if you want to do liberal arts and not major in anything else, it will give you a degree you can put on your resume. This way if you ever want to move up and get a master's degree you can too.

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My 14 yo Dd is not interested in college at this time. I know things can change and I still plan to give her a good education. However, if she does go into college it isn't going to be for a science or math related field. She is artsy and I can see her heading that way. So, should I continue to push her with the science and maths that she doesn't like and struggles with or should I push her in the stuff she excels at and do the bare basics for math and science?

 

EK is, however, planning to go to college. I don't think she has even thought of NOT going as a possibility because it is something we (and she) always just assumed would happen. Like your dd, EK is very artsy. She loves music and loves to sing. She likes to draw, paint, sew, do crafts, take & edit pictures and videos, work on the computer, etc. She is most interested in art & photography and is very good with computer editing software. I'm thinking she will lean toward a career in commercial art or commercial photography. This is something she can likely study at a technical college and may not need a four-year degree to do.

 

I'm interested to read the replies you get from others on the boards.

Edited by ereks mom
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I would add one year of physics at the high school level. That's the last of the basic sciences, and if she gets exposure to it she will truly have that well-rounded but not excessive math/science background that you're looking for.

 

I did not take physics in high school, and when I took it for the first time in college I thought I was going to die. A little background would have really helped--and it's a requirement for many, many other fields.

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This could have been me.

 

At 14 I announced to my parents that I wasn't going to go to college. (That went over well with my college professor father and high school science teacher mother!) Anyway, I was also extremely into music and art and creative writing and not the least bit interested in math or science, nor did I appear to be very good at those things.

 

Fast forward. I *did* go to college and ended up majoring in biochemistry. It would have been most helpful to have a stronger math and science background, though I was able to do well anyway.

 

I guess my point is that you can never be sure what a kid will do so it might be best to give her as many tools as you can now. Of course, that's easy for me to say as I'm not the one implementing it.

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Thank you everyone! We will continue with a college prep course. This really spoke to me:

 

I'd give her a college-prep education, with a much math and science as she can possibly handle (not just "like" but "handle") for two reasons:

 

2. If she doesn't decide to go to college, the education you give her at home will be the last formal education she will ever have. Make it a good one.

 

 

 

Gulp! :eek: And I do know a lot can change in a few years. We do hope all our children will go onto college and we are encouraging them in that direction. I guess I was getting wimpy with all the teeth gnashing over math LOL

Edited by Quiver0f10
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Hi Jean,

As someone with a degree in music, I'd also say that if she did go to college for something like music, she will wail and gnash her teeth over something within that experience-tonal counterpoint, senior recital or ancient music history perhaps? So, it is really the process of working and conquering those challenging subjects that is the key in a high school education. It is learning how to overcome any subject that is hard that is the important experience, rather than the subject itself. This translates to any difficult experience the rest of your life, I suppose.

Holly

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