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how to preserve friendship over a distance


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A dear friend from church moved away ten years ago. We get together once a year and have kept in touch by letter and now by e-mail. She’s not a phone person. She’s never been much of a letter writer, but we’ve both persevered because we know it’s the only way to preserve the friendship and it means a great deal to both of us. Since the summer I’m finding it increasingly difficult to respond to her mail because she writes as though she hasn’t read my last letter. I did ask her about this once and she made the comment that she was really busy and wrote the note late at night. She does work now in addition to homeschooling.

Do any of you have a creative or even a practical way to continue this friendship? I am at the point of not wanting to respond to her notes. Why bother answering her questions and asking questions if there isn’t going to be a dialogue. I would think she was ready to shelve the friendship, but when I don’t write for a week or so she sends a frantic note.

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I would think she was ready to shelve the friendship, but when I don’t write for a week or so she sends a frantic note. [/font][/size]

 

...if she is keeping in touch once a week.

 

I think that she loves and values you and has less than no time right now. Having BTDT, I sympathize with her.

 

I think that you should just send her news, not questions, and not expect a dialogue for a while. Once she gets her feet under her in her new life, she will probably be able to have back and forth once again. In the meantime, it's clear that your relationship means a lot to her, and that she is doing all she can.

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I think that you should just send her news, not questions, and not expect a dialogue for a while.

 

I should do that, but I feel self-centered not answering her questions and just talking about news at my end. This is nothing new with her, it's just gotten worse. We've both worked on and off over the years so I do know what a struggle it can be, but it's not that difficult to at least acknowledge one question from a letter.
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