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fortheboys
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Here is the cliffs notes version of our story, the questions to follow:

 

I homeschooled DS6 as an 4yr old. He taught himself to read prior to that. I knew he was smart...gifted even. I got OVERWHELMED, put him into ps for "real" kinder. He did fine, tests scores all off the chart etc, etc... Started him in the first grade, it was horrible. He would cry everyday when he got home, his teacher was not very kind or sympathetic to him. After the beginning of the year tests, the administration pulled him out of his classroom EVERYDAY for a week and a half for additional testing and then subsequently identified him as a highly gifted student. (I am sure that this sounds like a very familiar story to many of you, please bear with me.) So after much thought, and some prayer, my DH and I decided to bring him and his brother back home for school.

 

BUT, now he doesn't want to learn anything, he wants to play nintendo, or computer games and watch cartoons. He will do the work that I ask him to do, but not with the quality that I know he is capable of. He will read, if I make him. To be honest, we have not quite hit our stride we are still sorting out curric. We are going to be using Saxon math, as soon as I can place him, we use ETC, and we are starting Daily Grammar, his spelling list comes from the dolch/fry list. We are also using STOW and Just Write from EPS. I have meant to add some memorization, copywork and journaling but I haven't figured out how to work it all in.

 

So my question, how to I rekindle his love of learning? It was there, how do I get it back. I think that he views his giftedness as a bad thing, so he isn't excited. Any advice?

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Since your son is already ahead academically and is still young with lots of learning time ahead of him, why don't you just do nothing for now? Limit the game time and let him fill in the rest. Have books and things available and around the house but with no schedule or demand to do anything. Let him rekindle the spark himself.

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I would limit his screen time drastically--no more than two hours a WEEK or even less. That would be cumulatively of all his screen options (video games, TV, whatever).

 

I would also take a semester to be unstructured. Learn a lot through library books or nifty educational videos (like PBS nature videos). Do art projects based on what you are researching together. Just read-read-read a LOT. Base your reading on his interests. For math, focus a lot on math games and math literature.

 

Then ever so slowly add in the more routine work, one layer at a time.

 

For right now, though, don't worry about that routine work. He will learn the rote stuff just fine further on down the line, especially since he is gifted. You will never regret investing in sparking a love of learning now.

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I would limit his screen time drastically--no more than two hours a WEEK or even less. That would be cumulatively of all his screen options (video games, TV, whatever).

 

I would also take a semester to be unstructured. Learn a lot through library books or nifty educational videos (like PBS nature videos). Do art projects based on what you are researching together. Just read-read-read a LOT. Base your reading on his interests. For math, focus a lot on math games and math literature.

 

Then ever so slowly add in the more routine work, one layer at a time.

 

For right now, though, don't worry about that routine work. He will learn the rote stuff just fine further on down the line, especially since he is gifted. You will never regret investing in sparking a love of learning now.

 

 

 

:iagree: Sounds like he had a rough time in school and needs to decompress.

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He may be gifted, but he is still a young child. I had to remind myself of this often with my daughter. I also think children change what they want and you can influence that by limiting exposure to certain things while increasing exposure to others. I consider it training the child.

 

We really limited TV (and now electronic-type games) from the start. There have been some days we did not even turned on the TV. My daughter has only seen a few cartoons and she is 7yo. She is gifted academically, but much more so in the arts. I have found when left on her own without technology to entertain her that she fills her free-time with drawing, writing, playing piano, singing, composing her own songs, reading, decorating her room, etc. After she watches something on TV, she goes off to draw and write about it--on her own. To me, it is just as important to let her use and develop some skills on her own as it is to sit and do formal lessons. Much of the time she walks away from watching TV or playing a video game on her own. I love that!

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Sounds like my son, except that Drew has worked really hard (these whole two days :tongue_smilie:) to show me how good he can be.

 

Maybe you could try something seemingly out of his league. Multiplication brought Drew to the table and "hard math" is his reward for doing good work. Cursive has also gotton him excited, he has been signing his name, with flourish, on every paper we've done.

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I would also limit the screen time. Maybe make a calendar and set aside one day a week where he can pick and watch a movie, and set aside 30 minutes for video games a few times a week. Then, if he asks, you can say "sorry, it's not time for video games right now, look, it's right here on our calendar." Hopefully after a while he will stop asking for it all the time, if you are consistent with the schedule.

 

Maybe for the rest of this month you can make school an optional activity for him. Provide lessons for him, but if he doesn't want to do them, give him another option: play outside, read books, or play a game with you. But video games and TV should not be an alternate activity during school hours.

 

:grouphug: I hope that his love for learning is rekindled soon! I'm sorry he had such a bad experience. It sounds like pulling him out was the right choice.

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Yup, video games are weekends only as is TV time. (I know it's hard!).

I would probably back off most school and ask him (them) if there's anything he really wants to learn about. Dinosaurs? Knights? Castles? Airplanes? Do activities surrounding that subject and check out every book available at your library. You can even figure out science and math for most topics that kids are interested in.

That way he sees learning is fun.

BTW, I've used this approach and it worked for me. It took my about 3 weeks to get back on track but it may take you longer or shorter depending on your boys.

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I agree w/the posts about limiting screen time. I have always limited the tv, and we have no video games at our house. The kids always find something better to do with their time. We keep a good supply of books, magazines, games, and building toys.

What are your son's strengths and interests? I suggest trips to the library to get books of his choice, field trips, science kits, building toys if those interest him (lego, K'nex, snap circuits, etc.) Would he like to learn a foreign language?

And, gently, as a mom of gifted boys, the activities/curriculum you've described would send us all into a depression at our house. Saxon math doesn't seem like the best choice for a highly gifted child. I think it can be difficult to find curriculum for gifted kids, and it usually always needs tweaking. And I think the classical education model needs a lot of tweaking for some kids.

Have you checked out http://www.hoagiesgifted.org ? Some of the info there might give you some ideas. Don't feel bad that you're off to a rough start. :)

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I love, love, love K-2nd, even with gifted children. They have so much free time to explore and have fun...

 

You will probably get unanimous agreement on the "limit screen time" front. I've had to re-set computer passwords and pull network cards to keep my ummm, very innovative boys from circumventing parental controls (yes, I appear to be growing computer hackers like weeds).

 

That said, I have used television programs (pre-recorded), and DVDs to enhance learning as well. When my oldest was K-2, the big trigger for him was dinosaurs. We bought Dinosaur encyclopedias, watched Dinosaur Science DVDs, read books, I'm so burned out on dinosaurs, I'm just very grateful my Ker isn't a dino fanatic (but you'll have to pry the legos out of his cold, dead, hands!).

 

I'd probably let him decompress through the holidays, and then start school. Show him the schedule, show him what you'll be working on together, and try to implement some sort of reward system for completing assignments (doesn't have to be big, just something).

 

We've done everything from an ice cream cone at McDonald's, to making cookies together, to a family trip to the Science Museum or Children's Museum...

 

We held off on any electronic games until this past spring, when we purchased a Wii. Now, generally speaking, the Wii is just for the weekends, but it too has to be earned (other than Wii Fit, which we use for some PE time). Schoolwork for the week has to be completed properly, and my oldest (in particular) also has to complete his reading log (about 1 hr. a day in outside, unassigned reading), and there are the chores... If those things aren't done, they have to be completed before any game time may occur. (that's our carrot/stick).

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Sounds like my son, except that Drew has worked really hard (these whole two days :tongue_smilie:) to show me how good he can be.

 

Maybe you could try something seemingly out of his league. Multiplication brought Drew to the table and "hard math" is his reward for doing good work. Cursive has also gotton him excited, he has been signing his name, with flourish, on every paper we've done.

 

:iagree: We were in you spot many years ago, exactly the same reactions. Sometimes it can be boredom, that is not being challenged and it sounds like he had a lot of that before in brick and mortar. Up the challenge and it could even be via computers. I am not as anti-computer as some. I think you work within the medium that gets their attention when necessary (not exclusively or all the time and we do limit screen time here or at least did at that age). Keep pushing ahead at a faster pace if need be till you see him really engaged. Personally, it's just me, but I wouldn't go unstructured at this point because it could be difficult to get back into a structure later when you need to. I'm all for structure and routine for part of the day and then free time to explore and do lots of hands on things. Fun things can be educational!

 

You know your child best. Don't hesitate to experiment a tad feeling you don't know what you are doing. each and every cild is truly different and responds differently. My comments were just based on our experience!

 

Mary

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And, gently, as a mom of gifted boys, the activities/curriculum you've described would send us all into a depression at our house. Saxon math doesn't seem like the best choice for a highly gifted child. I think it can be difficult to find curriculum for gifted kids, and it usually always needs tweaking. And I think the classical education model needs a lot of tweaking for some kids.

Have you checked out www.hoagiesgifted.org ? Some of the info there might give you some ideas. Don't feel bad that you're off to a rough start. :)

 

I would agree. I have researched and studied and researched a bit more. And I find that I am continually at a loss for what materials to use. What kinds of curric can anyone suggest that I look into. I am using what I have access to (we work with our states distance education academy). Things that don't work for him-MathUSee and RightStart Math-DS just does not enjoy math manipulatives, and thus far the vast majority of math that I ask him to do he just does it in his head (he has been known though to use pencil and paper, and every once in a while counting bears!). In the beginning he really wanted to do journaling and spelling, now HE IS NOT INTERESTED! He will do it halfway if I ask him to, but not to his ability. He IS very interested in different dog breeds so we might do a library visit just for that!

 

About screen time, I need to get a handle on that. We do restrict it quite a bit, but not as much as we need to. I will have to talk it over with DH and see what he and I can come up with.

 

I appreciate everyone taking the time to reply.

 

Any advice is greatly appreciated, sometimes I feel so overwhelmed I just want to give in, and sometimes I just feel great about the whole thing! Depends on the day I guess.

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Anecdotal evidence seems to show gifted kids don't do that well with Saxon. The spiral approach gets too boring. On the other hand Singapore Math (expect to do two years in one, if not more, especially at the beginning) is usually a hit. YMMV, every kid differs.

 

Does he still enjoy read-aloud time? It's a nice way to deschool. Mom gets to feel she's doing something and the kids are learning, kids get to feel they're not doing any work at all. ;-)

 

Would he respond well if you offer something that "no one at school is doing? not even the teachers?" If so, teach him Latin. I got mine to start Latin at 6yo like that. It wasn't a school subject, so it didn't count. Worth a try.

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Anecdotal evidence seems to show gifted kids don't do that well with Saxon. The spiral approach gets too boring. On the other hand Singapore Math (expect to do two years in one, if not more, especially at the beginning) is usually a hit. YMMV, every kid differs.

 

 

 

 

I was just going to suggest Singapore math!

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So my question, how to I rekindle his love of learning? It was there, how do I get it back. I think that he views his giftedness as a bad thing, so he isn't excited. Any advice?

 

Personally, I would not allow the homeschool journey to be contingent on the child's love of learning (and I'm not saying you are). I, as alpha dog, would plan an pleasant, appropriate day for a bright but still young child. And he would participate whether he loved it or not. :)

 

Most of us love play more than work. And certainly some parts of the school day are like play and are a lot of fun (puzzles, games, crafts, cooking, songs, literature, Magic School Bus videos, Liberty Kids Videos, snuggling and joking with mom, etc.). Other parts require discipline and simply have to be done. Love it or not.

 

I would just move on.

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now he doesn't want to learn anything, he wants to play nintendo, or computer games and watch cartoons.

 

Cliff Notes Advice: Take the nintendo, computer games and TVs and lock them up. First, for at least one month SOLID. Then, bring them back out selectively and with limits. Say, no more than 30 min screen time per day, or only on weekends and then no more than 2 hours per day.

 

Of course those things are more fun than school. You can't compete with that. You need to unplug the kids.

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I cannot argue with the posts about screen time. In fact, I recommend 2 books to help with this. One is by Jim Trelease. The title is something like The Read Aloud Handbook or How to Read to your Children. I'd do lots of reading aloud, books on CD/tape, but no TV for at least a month. Also, music with narration, etc, such as Peter in the Wolf.

 

The other book about TV is Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television. Plus, TV makes people lazy. It makes me lazy if I watch too much of it. Screen time makes my dc cranky if it's overdone, especially TV where the brain is dormant.

 

MATH I concur that Saxon is not for the highly gifted unless they like to read it and do it on their own as my hg eldest did. But we had to skip most of it. Singapore Math is good. You don't NEED IP or CWP, but we just started the CWP this spring and I love, love, love them. Let your ds go as quickly as he likes through those first books of SM, and they're less expensive than Saxon.

 

Lots and lots of reading would be good right now as he decompresses. Let him read about his interests. When my eldest was 7 she read a great deal about the planets, among other things. My ds, now 8, reads a great deal about airplanes, but also fiction, kids magazines, etc. My 10 yo likes to read biographies of people from history, plus history, fiction, etc.

 

Exercises and play is good. Building toys are far better for brain development than video games, IMO.

 

Etc. My eldest did K-2 in ps and lost much of her love of learning, too.

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I agree with the screen time. Once it's not an option they relax and find other things to do. It can always be introduced later. We allowed 15 minutes of computer time if school work and piano were done and it wasn't bedtime. They could only bank up to 1/2 hour. (My ds was crazed and couldn't think of anything but the next move in his game all day long at 6 or 7. That's when we cut way back.) We don't have TV but do watch movies as a family.

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I agree both about the screen time and choice of curricula. I think Singapore math is also a good choice.

What I would do is provide plenty of exploratory play options. I found that my kids did so much creative play at that age. (The screen time short-circuits that drive). Being outside is also important, imo. Build some time into that. He might like Brainware Safari. I think it's still on sale for $49 through Homeschool Buyer's Co-op. It should really challenge him and also engage him (and maybe be a step-down from non-cognitive video games.) Brainware works on all kinds of cognitive skills, and as soon as a child has mastered a skill, they are moved immediately up to a more challenging level.

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My son's 9, we're on our second year of homeschooling. When I first pulled him out of public school, there was a period of time required for the test-based training to wear off (probably took close to a year!). At first his idea of learning was doing well on tests.

 

My son hated Saxon Math -- it almost killed his love of math. He found Singapore to be better, but really loves Life of Fred. Once arithmetic has been mastered, I would recommend looking at Life of Fred.

 

Educational videos my son likes include material by Schlessinger Media and by "The Standard Deviants". All topics are covered.

 

My son really likes learning other languages (Latin, Greek, some French), so you might try some of these.

 

If your son is interested in computer games, he might like to learn to make his own. YDACS (Youth Digital Arts Cyber School - ydacs.com) offers some online courses. My son was introduced to video game design at a cyber summer camp (ID Tech) and since he wanted to continue I found him the YDACS online courses. I'm sure there are other classes available as well that might be more geared towards younger kids.

 

My son takes chess classes and goes to tournaments. There are some web sites (and software) as well for chess training.

 

I mention these various computer/cyber activities because they are, to some degree, educational and partially satisfy my son's desire for online/video game-like activity.

 

We're not so strict as to have the weekend-only limitation on video games, however we do limit it to after school. All video gaming and computer activity (except writing) is done after school. And the time he's allowed to spend on video games after school is limited. I'm more flexible with educational computer activity, as long as it's also after school. If he wants to spend two or more hours one night developing a video game or studying chess strategies, that's ok.

 

Once he's spent X amount of time playing video games after school, I'll make him do something else. Some of our non-video-game evening activities include reading, reading aloud, piano practice, and poetry memorization/recital, not to mention numerous activities like karate, piano lessons, community sports, etc. Other times we'll play a board game of watch a movie. Our only functioning TV is in the basement and we mostly use it for videos. The TV is almost never on in our house.

 

Despite the fact that there are many fine educational web sites around, I find my son learns better without the computer. So a lot of our learning is book and pencil based. If I find good educational web sites, they go into the evening activities bin -- something to do on the computer that's not video games. There is a yahoo group called "aristotle_academy" that posts links to educational sites. Each day they have a different topic to study and post a bunch of links related to that topic. I have found some good links for my son to explore in there.

 

As someone else mentioned, you may need to go freeform for a while -- visit museums, zoos, libraries, bookstores, read a lot, play games, do crafts. See if there are any homeschool programs at the local zoo or museums that you can sign him up for. Various music schools offer group classes for kids tha he may enjoy.

 

Since our dining room is our classrooom, we keep his computer (and mine) in there. This way when he's on the computer or on the internet I can easily see what he's doing. Sometimes he has friends over and they're all gathered around the computer and because it's not buried in the basement or up in his room, I can see what they're up to.

 

I hope some of this gives you some ideas. I would recommend patience and persistence. It takes some time for the indoctrination to wear off and get replaced with a different perspective....

 

- David

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If your son is interested in computer games, he might like to learn to make his own. YDACS (Youth Digital Arts Cyber School - ydacs.com) offers some online courses. My son was introduced to video game design at a cyber summer camp (ID Tech) and since he wanted to continue I found him the YDACS online courses. I'm sure there are other classes available as well that might be more geared towards younger kids.

 

David, thank you for this link! My son will be thrilled!

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My son's 9, we're on our second year of homeschooling. When I first pulled him out of public school, there was a period of time required for the test-based training to wear off (probably took close to a year!). At first his idea of learning was doing well on tests.

 

My son hated Saxon Math -- it almost killed his love of math. He found Singapore to be better, but really loves Life of Fred. Once arithmetic has been mastered, I would recommend looking at Life of Fred.

 

Educational videos my son likes include material by Schlessinger Media and by "The Standard Deviants". All topics are covered.

 

My son really likes learning other languages (Latin, Greek, some French), so you might try some of these.

 

If your son is interested in computer games, he might like to learn to make his own. YDACS (Youth Digital Arts Cyber School - ydacs.com) offers some online courses. My son was introduced to video game design at a cyber summer camp (ID Tech) and since he wanted to continue I found him the YDACS online courses. I'm sure there are other classes available as well that might be more geared towards younger kids.

 

My son takes chess classes and goes to tournaments. There are some web sites (and software) as well for chess training.

 

I mention these various computer/cyber activities because they are, to some degree, educational and partially satisfy my son's desire for online/video game-like activity.

 

We're not so strict as to have the weekend-only limitation on video games, however we do limit it to after school. All video gaming and computer activity (except writing) is done after school. And the time he's allowed to spend on video games after school is limited. I'm more flexible with educational computer activity, as long as it's also after school. If he wants to spend two or more hours one night developing a video game or studying chess strategies, that's ok.

 

Once he's spent X amount of time playing video games after school, I'll make him do something else. Some of our non-video-game evening activities include reading, reading aloud, piano practice, and poetry memorization/recital, not to mention numerous activities like karate, piano lessons, community sports, etc. Other times we'll play a board game of watch a movie. Our only functioning TV is in the basement and we mostly use it for videos. The TV is almost never on in our house.

 

Despite the fact that there are many fine educational web sites around, I find my son learns better without the computer. So a lot of our learning is book and pencil based. If I find good educational web sites, they go into the evening activities bin -- something to do on the computer that's not video games. There is a yahoo group called "aristotle_academy" that posts links to educational sites. Each day they have a different topic to study and post a bunch of links related to that topic. I have found some good links for my son to explore in there.

 

As someone else mentioned, you may need to go freeform for a while -- visit museums, zoos, libraries, bookstores, read a lot, play games, do crafts. See if there are any homeschool programs at the local zoo or museums that you can sign him up for. Various music schools offer group classes for kids tha he may enjoy.

 

Since our dining room is our classrooom, we keep his computer (and mine) in there. This way when he's on the computer or on the internet I can easily see what he's doing. Sometimes he has friends over and they're all gathered around the computer and because it's not buried in the basement or up in his room, I can see what they're up to.

 

I hope some of this gives you some ideas. I would recommend patience and persistence. It takes some time for the indoctrination to wear off and get replaced with a different perspective....

 

- David

 

Thank you. This was what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it. Thank you.

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