Anyone want to join me in going on a "Mommy Strike"?

[Sue G in PA]

Okay, so this is all probably my wacky, 7mos. pregnant hormones, but I'm seriously sick of doing everything myself. If I want something done and done right, it's up to me. Dh does help (a little), but his tolerance for "clutter and mess" is WAY higher than mine. He'd be happy stepping over trash and toys and clothes and books for weeks while I can't live like that. My dc have steadily been "slipping" in the responsibility dept. Using Handipoints for chore organization worked for about 2 wks before the novelty wore off and we're back to nothing getting done. THey want the points/rewards but don't want to do the work (sound familiar?). I declared a mommy strike this evening after finding my ds5 and 6's room completely trashed (I mean I couldn't walk in the door and to the bed to kiss them goodnight trashed), boys bathroom STILL not cleaned after 3 days of reminding them to clean it (ds8 and 9, that is), dd11 and dd2's room same as dd5 and 6. I print the chore chart out, remind them to look at it, remind them to do xyz before they can watch tv, play games, etc. but they are content to just fool around. Anybody want to join me in my strike? I declared that I wouldn't lift a finger to do one single thing around here until they started pitching in w/ a good attitude. Of course, I'm shooting myself in the foot b/c I won't be able to live here if it gets too messy...and like I said...dh has a much higher tolerance. He won't be of much help in this one! Rant over...must go to bed.

[Beth in Central TX]

Big sigh of relief...I replied to your other post and assumed you were pregnant. I'm glad to know that I was thinking of the right person.

 

No, I wouldn't go on a strike, but I would stand over each child until the required chore work was done. In addition, since I had to watch over them to get the job done, they get no points this time. When they can do the chore on their own with no supervision, then the points are awarded.

 

We have a chore chart too along with a specific time each day that chores are to be done; after their morning routine (breakfast, dressed, teeth brushed, etc.) but before schooltime. If they don't get done before schooltime, then the chore is done during their morning snackbreak. Even though our boys get a commission for their chores, the chores are not optional. They also have chores that they don't get paid for; they do it because they're part of our family.

 

Does your DH know how important a tidy house is to you? When I sit down and have a heart-to-heart discussion with my DH, and he knows that something is important to me (even if it's not important to him), he will make more of an effort to help make it happen. Just a few thoughts as I sit here drinking my evening decaf tea...I hope you find a resolution soon.

[Tutor]

then plant yourself outside the bedroom door in the morning and supervise while they clean it (don't forget the timer... and plan some privilege to be taken away for every time you have to reset the timer). This way, you know they are working and you are there if they truly need help with something (like getting clothes on a hanger or arranging the clothes in the drawer properly so everything fits). When the room is done, plant yourself in front of the bathroom and supervise that.

 

I've called a halt to school some days when the house reaches the unacceptable point. I will plant myself in a chair in the doorway when I suspect they are playing instead of working and need "encouragement" to stay on track. School starts up after a "good job" from me on the cleaning.