Murphy101 Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 (edited) So that happened yesterday. I love the rings and they go very well together even though they weren't bought as a set. But .... Why do people ask me how many karats they are? All day yesterday people I've known for years would comment on it and ask that question. Commenting it's pretty didn't bother me and I think that's normal among friends/family, but I was rather stunned to have them ask how many karats. And a few also asked who the designer was, which I did happen to know because I in general love her work anyways so it wasn't a surprise to see the ring I picked was from her line. They seemed stunned I didn't know the karats. We didn't look at rings and think they had to have a certain karat size. We were more interested in other qualities. I love that it has a vintage and feminine style and that it includes sapphires. And that I didn't need to get a loan to have the perfect rings we were looking for. If it matters, the band is 1/2 ktw and the wedding ring is 1/4 k for the main stone and 1/3 tw. I dug out the boxes this morning to look it up. Are these normal questions or am I just... idk... too prickly these days? It smacks of asking how much I paid for it? Which would be way off bc I got a crazy good deal or I'd never have bought them at the regular price. Edited March 22, 2018 by Murphy101 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 (edited) they're being nosy. they want to know how much it's worth. I love how Miss Manners recommends handling such people. as you go on about how much you love them, and the sentiment involved - she suggests asking them if they were ever a professional to know the meaning of all of those details. eta: in today's day and age, it's not just the kt weight of the stones they're asking about - but the gold. you don't "owe" the details to anyone. Edited March 22, 2018 by gardenmom5 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 they're being nosy. they want to know how much it's worth. I love how Miss Manners recommends handling such people. as you go on about how much you love them, and the sentiment involved - she suggests asking them if they were ever a professional to know the meaning of all of those details. eta: in today's day and age, it's not just the kt weight of the stones they're asking about - but the gold. you don't "owe" the details to anyone. Oh I know I don't owe them details, I was just... yeah a bit put off by it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 They could be nosey...but some are likely just curious and trying to carry on a conversation. What else do you ask in response to jewelry? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 I think it's the only detail people have to ask about. Why do people need to know a new baby's length, weight, and the exact time of the birth? Those are the stats for babies. Karats are the stats for jewelry. I've never had anyone ask about length or time, just weight, which kinda makes sense because they usually ask while holding the baby or admiring their turkey thighs. But for a ring? Idk. I usually comment on the arrangement or just say how pretty or whatever. There's many other details to comment on. If nothing else, the wedding band has some beautiful filigree details around the sides up to the halo around the center stone. My bestie's first comment was, "you found one with natural sapphire accents?!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I think that's weird too. No picture though? We want to see! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Some people might think that you expect them to ask. Did you show them the ring or did they just notice it? I know a few people who do like to show off how much something is worth, and they assume others are like that too. So, a person like that would ask those details, because they might expect that you want to tell them. Not sure that's clear. I think the appropriate response to new jewelry is "oh, so pretty!" I wouldn't think to ask any questions to determine the value of the piece. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 How many carats is the diamond on the ring and band was a common question in my parents era and so my MIL was worried people would look down at my husband because I like my diamond small. When I came to Silicon Valley on a business trip in 1999, one of the US guys in my department was shopping for engagement ring while we had an informal department lunch at a mall. I was told the “standard†was spending three times the pay check for the engagement ring. Why do people need to know a new baby's length, weight, and the exact time of the birth? Those are the stats for babies. Baby stats are used to buy lottery numbers in my social circle :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 They could be nosey...but some are likely just curious and trying to carry on a conversation. What else do you ask in response to jewelry? Does my having a new ring require any response at all? It's not like I'm walking around saying, "Look what I got!!" I'm just going through life and someone notices. Like wearing a new outfit I guess. Someone regular might notice and say it looks good on you, but they don't usually ask the size or type of fabric. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 (edited) I think it's the only detail people have to ask about. Why do people need to know a new baby's length, weight, and the exact time of the birth? Those are the stats for babies. Karats are the stats for jewelry. They could be nosey...but some are likely just curious and trying to carry on a conversation. What else do you ask in response to jewelry? Another vote for “just making conversation.†If you’re showing someone your new rings (or they notice that you’re wearing something new and they want to compliment your good taste,) it doesn’t seem unusual to me that they would ask about the carat size. If they’re into jewelry, they might have also been interested in the color and clarity, but it’s less common to come right out and ask about those things because it might seem like they were trying to gather information to try to figure out how much you paid for the rings. Realistically, the size of the diamond doesn’t tell a person much at all about its value without also having information about the color and clarity, so I wouldn’t think most people were trying to figure out how much the rings were worth. Some women are weirdly competitive about who has the biggest diamonds, though, so if someone asked you about your rings and immediately mentioned that their diamonds were bigger, I would find that incredibly tacky and rude. Your rings must be lovely if people are noticing them!!! Edited March 22, 2018 by Catwoman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Does my having a new ring require any response at all? It's not like I'm walking around saying, "Look what I got!!" I'm just going through life and someone notices. Like wearing a new outfit I guess. Someone regular might notice and say it looks good on you, but they don't usually ask the size or type of fabric. It is just a conversation topic. I work in a retail. We talk to people all.day.long. We try to find something to talk about that isn't the weather. There are days when I spend 6 to 8 hours in a constant stream of 2 minute conversations. Because of that, we get used to finding topics to chat about with friends too. One coworker Loves jewelry. She doesn't care if it is diamonds or plastic. She just loves it and can talk about it all day. She doesn't mean to be rude, she just loves to talk about it and admire what people wear. She means it as a compliment and isn't trying to be nosey...it is just what she has found to talk about that she can work into a 2 minute conversation. And since it is a compliment, she generally leaves the person feeling good when they walk away. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebrindam Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Were they asking how many carats (diamond size) or karats (% of gold)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I would love to see a picture and I would love to know where you got it. My engagement ring was lost years ago and my wedding band no longer fits, so I have gone without a ring for many years. I am now beginning to think I might like a new ring or rings.... Anne 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I think it's beyond weird. But, I'm not a jewelry-smart person at all. I know nothing. Maybe those are people who simply have an interest in fine jewelry? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I find questions like that pretty intrusive, and I only have one acquaintance who asks them. She really stands out on the annoyance meter, and is unavoidable for reasons I won't go into. When I got an anniversary ring (25th wedding anniversary) she said, "Pretty! Is that a real diamond?" And I answered, "It's plastic," enigmatically, and changed the subject. I don't feel that I have to be at the mercy of someone else's nosiness. My answer was so obviously untrue that it wasn't a lie, and I didn't get cornered either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I love that it has a vintage and feminine style and that it includes sapphires. My daughter's engagement ring is sapphire for the main stone. I love it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 Were they asking how many carats (diamond size) or karats (% of gold)? Both. Which I guess the gold question didn’t bother me though. Hmm. Weird of me. It’s white gold and these days there’s titanium, platinum, sterling silver, steel and various hues of gold. So I guess I took more as asking “what’s it made of� Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 I’d show a picture but for the life of me I can’t digure out how to upload a photo from my iPhone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 My daughter's engagement ring is sapphire for the main stone. I love it! So is my daughter's. It's really pretty! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Am I being too nosy to ask the designer so I can check out her work? LOL I love looking at jewelry. (But I don't think I'd ever ask the carat question unless we were really getting into details about a certain piece so that seems odd to me, but not over the top.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 Am I being too nosy to ask the designer so I can check out her work? LOL I love looking at jewelry. (But I don't think I'd ever ask the carat question unless we were really getting into details about a certain piece so that seems odd to me, but not over the top.) Vera Wang. I don’t usually pay much attention to designers, but I tend to gravitate to her stuff because I like it and then notice that once again it’s Vera Wang. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 (edited) Am I being too nosy to ask the designer so I can check out her work? LOL I love looking at jewelry. (But I don't think I'd ever ask the carat question unless we were really getting into details about a certain piece so that seems odd to me, but not over the top.) And once I realized that gold question didn’t phase me, I have to admit I feel silly being put off by the stone questions. Edited March 22, 2018 by Murphy101 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 (edited) Testing a photo my nail lady took when I had my nails done. https://m.imgur.com/a/DRSXp It doesn’t show much detail but there it is. Edited March 22, 2018 by Murphy101 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaryMak07 Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Oh my!!! It’s GORGEOUS 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Your ring is beautiful!!!!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 Oh my!!! It’s GORGEOUS Thank you. I’m very thrilled with them. Dh has not worn a ring in probably 20 years. He couldn’t find any that he liked at all. He got his original one that he outgrew within a year of marriage repaired and added gold to thicken it and give a wider band. He loves his too. And it was ridiculous cheap to have the jeweler do it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Love them! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 How pretty!! I didn't even know Vera Wang made jewelry like that! I like her, too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 How pretty!! I didn't even know Vera Wang made jewelry like that! I like her, too. Me either! I rarely wear jewelry and so had no occasion to find out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 Beautiful!! I’ve never even thought to ask about carats. I can’t imagine what I’d say if someone asked me that. Well if you were me, you say, “I have no idea.†And feel a bit stupid for not knowing. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Those rings are gorgeous. I love them.' Another vote for people making conversation. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mominco Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Beautiful rings!I love your nails as well. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 Some people might think that you expect them to ask. Did you show them the ring or did they just notice it? I know a few people who do like to show off how much something is worth, and they assume others are like that too. So, a person like that would ask those details, because they might expect that you want to tell them. Not sure that's clear. I think the appropriate response to new jewelry is "oh, so pretty!" I wouldn't think to ask any questions to determine the value of the piece. No. I'm more likely to show off how cheap/what a bargain I got for something. Oh you like my outfit? Thanks! $17 including shoes all off a clearance rack! LOL 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Testing a photo my nail lady took when I had my nails done. https://m.imgur.com/a/DRSXp It doesn’t show much detail but there it is. *satisfied sigh* Beautiful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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