teaching thinking/problem solving skills

[caedmyn]

How do you do this?  Is there a book/article/something that explains how to teach your child to think or problem solve?  Or a workbook that actually teaches problem-solving skills?

 

I doubt my 6th grader could figure her way out of a paper bag.  This is especially obvious when it comes to anything school-related, but she has trouble with practical/IRL problem-solving too.  Though really she is perfectly CAPABLE of solving practical problems, but it's so much easier to just ask Mom everything than to think for yourself.  "Mom, the kitchen trash can is full so I can't empty the bathroom trash can into it."  "Well what can you do about that?"  Thinks for a second and then squishes down the kitchen trash enough to fit the bathroom trash in it.  I just don't understand why she can't do that in the first place and skip the asking-Mom step!  Her 9 & 7 YO brothers can problem-solve circles around her...which can create its own problems when I wish they would actually ask before coming up with their own less-than-optimal solution, but at least they're going to do something to solve whatever problem they come across.

[fralala]

Well, there's Creative Problem Solving, but I'm not sure that's what you need here given the example...in truth, it sounds like this may just be a personality difference? I mean, you're not rescuing her, she is coming up with the solution, it sounds like you're not cripplingly critical of the things your kids do, so could this be a matter of self-confidence/insecurity? Or enjoying the dialogue and liking to check in with you?

 

In any case, if you would like her to be more confident in coming up with ideas and evaluating them on her own, CPS provides a template and opportunities to practice together.

[HomeAgain]

Never compare a middle schooler to another child.  They get stupid with puberty for a few years.

 

What you're doing is just fine.  You turn the problem around and help her get confidence in making those decisions.  Eventually it sinks in....though friends may see it before she shows off those skills at home.

[caedmyn]

She's been like this for years so I don't think it's her age.  In practical situations she can usually figure out a solution if I won't give her one, but in schoolwork she just gets stuck, or something.  For example, she keeps forgetting how to do a certain type of math problem.  Instead of finding the lesson where she was taught how to do them, or even flipping back to the last lesson where she did that type of problem and seeing how she did it, she just puts a question mark on her paper and moves on.  This happens over and over.  If she reads over the new teaching for her math and can't figure out how to do it, she skips all the new problems and moves on.  She doesn't read the lesson over and over and try to figure it out, she just gives up.  If she doesn't immediately know how to do a sentence in sentence diagramming, she skips it.  She doesn't go back and re-read the lesson or try to figure out what she's not understanding.  She gives up.  It's like this in every aspect of schoolwork.  For the most part she does ok, but when she doesn't understand something or doesn't know how to do it, she won't put any effort into trying to figure it out.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

She's been like this for years so I don't think it's her age. In practical situations she can usually figure out a solution if I won't give her one, but in schoolwork she just gets stuck, or something. For example, she keeps forgetting how to do a certain type of math problem. Instead of finding the lesson where she was taught how to do them, or even flipping back to the last lesson where she did that type of problem and seeing how she did it, she just puts a question mark on her paper and moves on. This happens over and over. If she reads over the new teaching for her math and can't figure out how to do it, she skips all the new problems and moves on. She doesn't read the lesson over and over and try to figure it out, she just gives up. If she doesn't immediately know how to do a sentence in sentence diagramming, she skips it. She doesn't go back and re-read the lesson or try to figure out what she's not understanding. She gives up. It's like this in every aspect of schoolwork. For the most part she does ok, but when she doesn't understand something or doesn't know how to do it, she won't put any effort into trying to figure it out.

As far as the schoolwork goes, it sounds as if you are seeing the result of having a child be too independent with the homeschooling.

 

She's worked out her coping skills for not being able to properly teach herself. These aren't skills for better independent study, that's not what I mean: I mean she's figured out how to move herself to the bottom of the page without just refusing to do any of it.

 

A child her age might sometimes take on the task of going back to look up forgotten concepts, or concentrate harder on self-teaching through a work text, but only if there's a strong history of doing those things together with you, and probably only if it's pretty rare that she needs to. If she is to see herself as a capable student, she'll need to know what she's doing most of the time.

 

She might need you to teach her English and math on a daily basis. Teach the lesson, and then work practice problems together before assigning independent work. And then check her work and help her with missed problems, every day.

Edited March 21, 2018 by Tibbie Dunbar

[Farrar]

This is part of why we do Destination Imagination.

 

I think for school work... you just have to teach them. I have spent what feels like too much time showing my kids how to go back and read the lesson to find the information again. But clearly it's not too much time - it's only enough when they get it.

 

Independence is a tricky thing. They need more for some things because otherwise they just rely on us to tell them the answers or do it for them. But they need less for other things, because they need us to scaffold those skills and actually show them how to do that stuff. It comes naturally to some kids, but not all by any means.

[daijobu]

As far as the schoolwork goes, it sounds as if you are seeing the result of having a child be too independent with the homeschooling.

 

 

 

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Thank you for this.  Back in the day, 6th grade was considered elementary school, and we were not expected to do much independent learning.  Or any at all.  

 

I have one dd who needs me sitting next to her as she solves problems.  I might do that with your dd, if you have time.  Model the behavior you want to see in her.  When she can't solve a problem, stop immediately and return together to relearn the material.  

 

OTOH, putting question marks next to problems isn't a bad solution.  I had my dds complete their math problem sets and then we would review together the problems they couldn't solve.  (They circled their problems instead of question marks.)

[PeterPan]

TOPS 2 Adolescent Test Of Problem Solving 2 Adolescent By Linda Bowers, Rosemary Huisingh, and Carolyn LoGiudice  There's a Test of Problem Solving you can have done. My ds is like this, and he fails the TOPS. For him it's partly a sequencing thing, like he literally can't figure out the sequence of the steps. So like he couldn't wipe up a spill recently, and I had to stand there and go through it inductively, like ok what would you need to do this, where would you find it, what do you think the first step would be, what would the next step be, etc. Now, after doing that a few times, he's able to wipe up a spill. Gifted IQ, can't wipe up a spill.

 

After you get the testing by the SLP and they identify the areas affected (inferencing, sequencing, etc.), then they can help you target them. 

 

Tasks of Problem Solving Adolescent By Linda Bowers, Rosemary Huisingh, and Carolyn LoGuidice  Here's an example of what they could do. Linguisystems sells quite a few things for that age for problem solving if you put it in the search engine. For 6th gr, she can do the lower materials too, so maybe look at both.

Edited March 21, 2018 by PeterPan

[PeterPan]

What you're describing with her school work is low frustration tolerance. A therapist (SLP, OT, whatever) would work on this other ways, rather than working on it through the academics. Yes, I agree with the rec to move her academics to something completely within reach or get her instruction. She sounds like she needs more supports. Then work on the frustration tolerance and persevering separately. Frustration tolerance improves slowly, as the student's coping skills improve. Does she ever blow up or have behaviors when frustrated? Her skipping the problems might be a mechanism for NOT having that happen. So it's actually healthy in a way, because she's saying I don't want to go red zone and blow up and I'm frustrated, so I'll just skip. So you have to give them opportunities to be slightly frustrated, slightly unsure how to proceed, and still stay calm and figure it out. And you do that with life stuff or activities. It can be academics, but it doesn't sound like she's ready to take that step alone.

 

For instance, our OT had ds doing a game this week, a scavenger hunt, but she put one of the pieces up high, where he had to problem solve how to reach it and stay calm. That's working on frustration tolerance and problem solving and regulating emotions, but it's doing it in a really controlled way.

Edited March 21, 2018 by PeterPan