Jump to content

Menu

Tips for adding a second student?


Recommended Posts

I’m sure you have tips for me! It’s likely I will be adding DD6 to homeschool with DS9 (DS is 2e, dyslexia, dysgraphia, undiagnosed but likely adhd). I have DD6 in public school K. She is also 2e, gifted with ADHD. I suspect the possibility of dyslexia because of her “slowness†to pick up reading compared with her IQ (though using junky program at school so who knows?). Her tester doesn’t recommend testing for dyslexia until treatment (meds) for ADHD are given, so I need to find another new tester, so grain of salt and all that.

 

I had her in public K as a trial, planning on keeping her in if she liked it and did well so I could focus on DS. It’s not working out awesomely.

 

Currently DS and I school about five hours, with multiple short breaks for play/exercise. 2-3 times per week we also do homework in the afternoons for 30-60 min, which I’d like to increase to four days or so. Homework is usually fun school, like LEGO robotics or art or documentaries.

 

Positives- DS wakes up early and DD sleeps in, so I think I can maybe get 30 min of work one-on-one. DS also has a few things daily that could be done independently, maybe an hour per day once he’s set up with work. The kids get along well together, though maybe too much and may goof around a bit :)

 

“Negatives†- DS still needs a lot of one-on-one, for assistance, teaching, and guidance. I also have medical problems that cause schooling to be derailed (guessing two - four days a month). DD doesn’t have a diagnosis of dyslexia and if I start working with her and remediate her, it may not be possible to diagnose. (Last eval DS has showed no evidence of dyslexia to her, though he clearly skips words and lines and most comprehension questions he already knows beforehand, so maybe she just wasn’t very good). I have a little idea of what I’m getting into, and a moderate idea of how to school DD.

 

But both together? I’m worried I’ll be stretched too thin and not do them justice. I’m not a “fun†mom always and worry for DD it will be boring at home vs Exciting Public School, even if she doesn’t love it. I’m still struggling to help DS’s gifted interests because of the extreme knowledge level vs resources and reading requirements for higher level resources (but that’s a separate issue I suppose).

 

Anyway, tips on bringing in a second student are welcome!

Edited by displace
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Likely out of K but starting as first grade at home. I need to place her for math but I’m guessing at least mid first. Reading I’ll do a phonics check and start where she’s at, likely digraphs. Writing will be a start over with basics.

 

School issues- reading taught with whole word approach (memorizing sight words, guessing encouraged), phonetic words treated as sight words, writing pages of work per day with no correction, no handwriting, no spelling, child misplaced (left behind in classroom, taken to wrong exit, etc), boredom, assembly line testing that is inaccurate, lack of special services for most disabilities. Gifted pull out only next year for a subject (math or reading) for 30 min. Gifted program based on production.

 

School could possibly be modifiable with lots of afterschooling in reading, spelling, and writing. After doing that with DS I don’t think I can do it with DD, but maybe.

 

A big line in my mind was crossed recently in my state, but it’s political in nature, so I can’t address it in this forum. I’m uncertain if I’m willing to have an elementary child in schools here ever again. I wanted to homeschool her before now because of academics. I figured I’d stick it out and homeschool her for the summer with reading and writing. But the political issue is forcing my hand. I’m going to ponder it some, but not for long.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There don't seem to be a lot of positives to this school, unless she really enjoys the others kids, her teachers, and things like gym, art, etc. Also, doing lots of afterschooling with a 1st grader would be really challenging. 

Edited by Mainer
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I won't lie, this could be really, really hard on all of you.  There will be days...

 

But it is doable.  Suggestions and things to keep in mind:

 

1.  Perfect won't exist but that's o.k.  Perfect is overrated.  :)

2.  If you can be prepared ahead of time, really, really KNOW the material you are going to be teaching, then when something gets wonky you will be better able to find another way to handle it.  

3.  Have some good review materials available to easily grab on days when new material just isn't going to happen.  Maybe even have some stuff like MindBenders or something else along those lines ready to go to keep brains occupied without needing your teaching input.  

4.  Embrace audio books.  If possible, if you don't already, have a portable device that works well for audio books with headsets.  While one is working the other can be listening to an audio book.  If they have wireless noise canceling headsets then they could still be nearby so they don't feel alone but could even be drawing or playing with playdough or something along those lines while they listened.  Sometimes kids need to move to be able to "hear".

5.  Consider a routine in the AM with your DS that includes getting up a tad earlier than you and he are used to, get him used to that, and then start just automatically taking on maybe one of the harder areas then, while your younger is still asleep (but there are days she will almost certainly wake up early so just go with the flow as needed).

6.  Write out your overall goals and ask your kids what their goals are, too.  Keep it simple and achievable and include things other than just academics.  Maybe you will all work on learning how to cook a particular dish together.  Or you want to learn about and grow a new kind of plant...

7.  Once you have written out your overall goals for the year, break that down into achievable milestones by month.  Then break that down by week.  Every weekend review that set of goals.  See where you are making those goals and where goals need to be adjusted then do so.  If you can see it written out clearly it is less likely that you will get lost in the shuffle of day to day madness.  :)

8.  Right from the beginning talk with your DH and your kids about the fact that this is your job and as such you will need some time EVERY DAY to prep for the next day and to have some space for yourself.  Those are two different things.  It is easy to get all the lines blurred and by the end of the day you haven't had ANY prep time or ANY sort of break, not even 15 minutes.  To be good at your job and good at being a parent and a person in general you will do better if you have both.  You might make a 30-45 minute period every single afternoon "break" time for all three of you.   Everyone goes to their room for a moment of quiet.  Set a timer for each of you so the kids can see this won't last forever.  They can listen to audio books or look at picture books or play quietly or whatever.  Take that time to do something for you.  Also have a time every single evening where you can take 30 to look over and prepare for the next day academically.  And carve out at least an hour or more on Saturdays where your DH watches the kids while you prep for the next week.  Set it in stone.  

9.  And look long and hard at materials you are thinking of implementing.  Try hard to be realistic about what you CAN do, not what you think you SHOULD do.   In other words, while you might FEEL there are a zillion things that would be great and even necessary to implement, be honest with yourself on what will actually get done.  Start out light.  Add things in as you and your kids get into a routine.  This is a house of cards.  You pile on too much too soon and it could all come tumbling down.

10.  Consider hiring a homeschooler teen to come in maybe once a week or every other week to work with one or the other child while you work with the other one.  Maybe playing educational games or doing review.  Having that relationship established may really help if your health or other issues sort of derail things.  The teen could maybe help you keep the kids moving along or at least treading water while the issues are worked on.

 

gotta run.  not sure I helped.  If I think of anything else I will post.  Good luck

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's a shame she's not getting any positives with their K5, since K5 is usually so fun. If it's really THAT NEGATIVE, I would pull her and just deschool and work on routines the rest of the year. Working on routines would get you a long way. That's really the elephant in the room here, so you could pull her and work on them while your expectations are lower. Like dont even plan on doing formal academics now. Just do stuff that builds routines. Get mazes, coloring, playdough, a play kitchen, set up some stations, and have her learn the ROUTINE you want. 

 

For that structure/routine, my big tip (not teaching two together, haha) is go visual. Make something visual, whether it's paper or a laminated thing with magnets on the whiteboard or cards in a chart or whatever and have the VISUAL of the plan. So that way everybody knows what their thing is at that time in the routine. It's going to take some soul-searching to figure out what kind of structure you're good with. You can't just foist something on yourself that isn't natural. How do you structure with your ds? How does he kjnow the plan? He's awfully old to have NO independent work. I know you don't have none. I'm just saying he probably can have some. The fact that he's struggling shows you the weak point, and then it's ok what would it take to get there. With my ds, it means starting short, high structure. You could even bring in a worker, use motivators, something.

 

It will be good! I'll bet it's a joy for you once you get it figured out. The structure part is always hard. I need to up the structure for ds right now, and instead I'm crocheting a blanket. I'd like to think that something will just SHAZAM into my head, lol. It's hard for everybody, no matter how long you've done it. But go back to your basics. Go visual, alternate easy and hard, have a plan, make it so they can know the plan, use motivators and end with things that make them happy. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have a visual timer in my room and it is the best thing EVER. The kids settle down right away when I set the timer. They know that whatever activity they are doing has an END point, so they can keep it together for that long because it won't go on for an interminable amount of time. I have one like this: https://www.amazon.com/Time-Timer-Original-Optional-Management/dp/B000JF4250

 

 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the advice. I’m still processing. The school isn’t “badâ€, but they are no good for kids with any learning differences. DD has friends there and they are good at making school cutesy. She seems ok with it some days, and others days not. Her enjoyment of school is related to if someone had a birthday, or a special event. It’s very mercurial so I don’t have an easy time deciding what would be best for her. (Whereas DS at this age HATED school everyday without exception). She also doesn’t report much of her day to me, even when it’s been a horrible day per her teacher, and there is a big lack of communication. Academically, I’m sure she’d benefit from learning to read instead of sight word recognition, especially if she ends up having dyslexia. And after working through letter formation, that should be better too. The schools never teach spelling here so that will always have to be taught at home if I want her to have that.

 

The routine would have to be changed a lot. DS could probably do more independently but I would have to either set up things ahead of time for him or work with him to DIY. Which probably needs to happen soonish, anyway.

 

Looking at material ahead of time is helpful. I tend to do chunks on the weekend but daily is better for me to comprehend and teach.

Edited by displace
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Get as many tools in your arsenal ahead of time as you can.  Things you can pull out when needed and things that can be done together and things that can be done in a car, etc.  Create a resource binder to stockpile ideas and resources for you to sort through and try out.  You could put a spiral notebook in there for jotting stuff down plus pockets to shove stuff into plus tabs to divide up by subject/skill. Let ideas kind of flow over you for a bit as you gather ideas and potential resources.  

 

As you are setting up your resource notebook maybe you could look at where your son is first, and write down your goals for him for the next year and a half.  Look carefully at those goals.  Then write down your goals for your daughter.  Compare those goals.  Look at materials you already have and materials you are considering.  Start with core goals.  Ignore side stuff for now.  Just core goals.  Then add to those core goals.  Work in layers.  

 

And look at some educational games where your son could learn the game then teach it to your daughter and maybe vice a versa.

 

Then after gathering ideas/materials/plans for a couple of weeks sort back through and start setting things up, making things more concrete.  Lay out a mock schedule for the week, just to see how things might play out in an ideal.  Then if things don't pan out try to brainstorm what you could do and what resources you would like to have on hand to make things work out anyway.

 

Now for some specifics besides curriculum suggestions...:

  1. Rolling library cart - Maybe a roll around library cart to keep materials immediately ready to go and able to roll where you need it to be.  (see link)  I bought mine by putting it in my Amazon cart and waiting until the price dropped to something I could afford.  The one I bought is incredibly sturdy, required no assembly except for slapping the wheels on, and we have even been able to roll it outside.  Having the cart meant I could put only the materials I knew we would need for the week on that cart.  https://www.amazon.com/Sandusky-SL327-09-Welded-Shelves-Capacity/dp/B01BLESOL0/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1520788568&sr=8-4&keywords=rolling+library+cart
  2. Container for office supplies for EACH of you - Top shelf of rolling cart also included individual little latchable boxes with individual office supplies, including pencils, rulers, erasable pens, dry erase markers, etc.  Names on the outside of the boxes.  Pencils resharpened and all office supplies put back in individual boxes when not in use.  (Kept us from wasting a lot of time looking for writing instruments.) 
  3. Work Boxes - Possibly work boxes for materials they can pull out and do on their own (review material or games or whatever).  I know some use this organized by subject and once all boxes are done they are done for the day but it didn't work that way for us.  Too many things that needed me to work one on one with them and materials didn't fit in the box.  Instead I had these boxes set up for things that might take multiple days to finish (so they could just toss everything back in the box and grab it again the next day) or for things they could do independently while I was working with the other one.  There are some brands that have multiple color options so you could color code who gets which box.  They might fit and stack on the rolling cart.  https://www.amazon.com/Darice-2025-401-Polypropylene-Stackable-Transparent/dp/B00BYL3P2O/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1520788705&sr=8-6&keywords=craft+storage+boxes
  4. Pre-created snacks/easily grabbed drinks - If someone is getting cranky and needs a snack break but you are really busy with the other child it is better if they have something they can grab on their own, without needing you.
  5. Fun documentaries/kid oriented educational shows - I had several ready to go.  If I was sick or one of the kids was sick or it was just one of those days, they were easily grabbed and we could still learn.  Even things like Zoo Diaries really triggered some great conversations and learning.
  6. Portable Reading Device - If you have a Kindle or other device of that type that would allow for "ear" reading independently, that might help.  Get noise canceling headsets.  Try to avoid ear buds since there is evidence that those increase hearing loss.
  7. Outside groups - See what is available in the way of outside fun classes that they could take.  There is a co-op in a city we were considering moving to that did not require parents to teach, only to stay on campus.  They had some really fun looking classes.  If you found something like that, you could spend that time prepping lessons while they hang out with peers and maybe learn something fun/gain a skill.
  8. Computer practice - Sometimes the kids needed a break from me and I needed a break from them or we didn't want to waste a whole day but didn't have time for full lessons.  Doing typing lessons and math practice was nice to have but also initially DS especially also loved logging on and doing Time for Learning lessons.  Your daughter might enjoy those.  Through 2nd grade the core lessons are not text based.  Fun characters teach little lessons and give the child practice in those lessons.  They were cute (things change in 3rd and DS found it much, much harder to navigate the system).
  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey OneStep, I wanna hear more about how you're using these workboxes! I'm always looking for smarter ways to do independent work, and you're intriguing me. What are you putting in them? Things that take multiple days to finish? Like what? :)

Various things we have used the Workboxes for and what may have been in the box:

 

1.  Art project: art supplies/paper/examples

2.  History project: DVDs/questions/books (originally more picture based with limited text); used in prep for discussion and additional research/rabbit trails

3.  Set of math worksheets as review to be worked on independently that also include reminder explanation sheets (in color) to help them remember the process if they forget.

4.  Science project: Workbook/science supplies/writing utencil

5.  Math (Geometry) combined with Art: protractor/compass/paper/writing utensils/list of youtube videos/printed examples

6.  Math or grammar games for review.

7.  Barton extra practice pages and card games

 

I found that items were less likely to get lost/misplaced and the kids were far more likely to keep up with things on their own if they got used to just tossing items back into the workbox designated for those items for that week/month/year (took my reminding them on a consistent basis but we did get into a very helpful rhythm).  It also really helped them to feel like they could just grab a box as they had time/interest to work on something on their own.  It relieved anxiety.  They knew that everything they needed was in that box and they wouldn't have to ask me for help locating things.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

When homeschooling, I was teaching four children, two with some severe LDs and two with academic weaknesses, and three with attitude issues :glare:.

 

I floundered a lot. But I agree with OneStep about having a lot of resources for independent work and organizing them. I had a lot of resources, but I bogged down on being organized enough to facilitate their independent work well. So I bought great things, and then we didn't use many of them. I think if you can make work boxes work for your family, they could be really helpful in that way.

 

I don't think anyone else has mentioned this yet, but I would try to combine them in any way that you can. It's harder with the age gap that you have, of course. But your son is still young enough that if you combine him in your daughter for history and science, you can make those subjects light and fun, to balance out the rigors of the other academics and remediation. It's okay, for example, if science consists of watching Bill Nye the Science Guy or Magic School Bus. We bought the entire MSB set on DVD. (Family confession -- today I asked them to clean out videos they don't want any more, and they aren't ready to part with MSB yet, though they are teens now.) We got Bill Nye from the library.

 

There are plenty of years ahead to dig into science and history in a deeper way. The same if you do art. Do projects that both of them can do. Also if you do read alouds, pick books that they both will enjoy listening to.

 

If one of your kids has a special interest in an area where you plan to combine them, you can always throw in some mini lessons at a deeper level. Or assign them to research something during their independent time and give them a graphic organizer to fill in with information (so they can collect information without having to take standard notes). In fifth grade, DS12's teacher had Genius Hour on Fridays, where the kids got to research any topic they wanted. And when they had collected enough facts, they could present to the class by making a poster board or giving a little talk, or whatever else they wanted to do to show off what they had learned. Perhaps you could have your son working on a Genius Hour project for part of the time, while you work with your daughter.

 

I used to start each day with all of us together at the table, doing the subjects that we combined. Then I would send them to their individual desks with their independent work and would call them over one by one to work with me privately.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mine are 3 years apart and I combined them for history and science until my daughter was high school age. If it was something she was really interested in and wanted to do more with, I would do a short summary of the material for my son and then send him off to play while she did more.

 

Your 9yo could help her with my first few syllables lessons and some other phonics and basic spelling things, good review for him while helping her. They could also play my nonsense word game together now, and Greek and Latin word root bingo together next year.

 

I personally would take her out as soon as possible before the sight words could do any more damage, but definitely by next year.

 

You could do audio or DVD history for a while until you get a good schedule going, or even for the full year.

 

I would get a mini tramp if you don’t have one or other things for each of them to burn off energy and keep busy while you are working with the other one, lego station, drawing station, etc.

 

Also, they each will need a few more chores, and teach them both to make basic lunches and have them make lunch at least once a week.

Edited by ElizabethB
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I did a “trial run†yesterday, as DD is out of school on vacation. I know it’s not a true homeschool situation but more of a “can Mom physically and emotionally handle two 2e homeschool kids?†It went ok, more ok for the kids than me. DS was occupied, DD was too, but I’d need more planned things for her. She depended a lot on PBS and I’m sure she’ll get bored of that all day. And DS will have to have more independent work once things are set up better. We worked a lot on not interrupting and being quiet (I’ll need to buy headphones), and not being disgruntled.

 

There was a lot of meltdown from DS doing work in the am before DD woke up. It may improve with practice in the am or just knowledge he has less free time in the am. We also didn’t get in our two daily walks because of poor weather (we usually walk a couple miles). And we did homework in the evening for about 40 min. We shortchanged science and history, so I’ll need better resources for that.

 

Personally, I was running around crazy, though. For me, unless I have a better system, it was hard. I was distracted, disorganized, and had a hard time. I know better planning will help. And working with the kids on routines will help too. I was productive most of the day, which was good (physically I’m sometimes unable to be). I planned on waking up early today to prep for today, but Daylight Savings is still affecting me. Come to think of it, maybe that’s also why DS has such trouble doing work in the am...

 

Well, another had experiment day today. DS has coop so I can evaluate one on one time with DD today.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I did a “trial run†yesterday, as DD is out of school on vacation. I know it’s not a true homeschool situation but more of a “can Mom physically and emotionally handle two 2e homeschool kids?†It went ok, more ok for the kids than me. DS was occupied, DD was too, but I’d need more planned things for her. She depended a lot on PBS and I’m sure she’ll get bored of that all day. And DS will have to have more independent work once things are set up better. We worked a lot on not interrupting and being quiet (I’ll need to buy headphones), and not being disgruntled.

 

There was a lot of meltdown from DS doing work in the am before DD woke up. It may improve with practice in the am or just knowledge he has less free time in the am. We also didn’t get in our two daily walks because of poor weather (we usually walk a couple miles). And we did homework in the evening for about 40 min. We shortchanged science and history, so I’ll need better resources for that.

 

Personally, I was running around crazy, though. For me, unless I have a better system, it was hard. I was distracted, disorganized, and had a hard time. I know better planning will help. And working with the kids on routines will help too. I was productive most of the day, which was good (physically I’m sometimes unable to be). I planned on waking up early today to prep for today, but Daylight Savings is still affecting me. Come to think of it, maybe that’s also why DS has such trouble doing work in the am...

 

Well, another had experiment day today. DS has coop so I can evaluate one on one time with DD today.

This can be soooo challenging.  Staying organized, staying focused, keeping the kids occupied and on task or safely ensconced elsewhere doing something while you work with the other one can be very challenging, especially with 2e kids.  Very challenging.  It is hard on them, too.  And it can be harder in a way with just two, especially with disparate ages,   because there are not other siblings to pair with, other siblings to go play with, etc. while Mom works one on one with someone else.

 

Build your arsenal.  Gather your ideas and resources.  Then implement those ideas in a way that provides you with some support and external structure, too.  Start adding layers.  Help you help them.  And give you and the kids time.  Your DD is used to a lot of external structure.  It will take her time to adjust to not having that in quite the same way but hopefully you can find ways to implement some sort of scaffolding for her.  Your DS is used to having it just be you and him.  It will take him time to adjust to not having that.  All three of you are adjusting to the time change. 

 

Also, commit to spending some time every day trying to do something joyful with your kids, something they look forward to that you can all do together.  Don't let academics take over your world.  Love on them.  And hang in there.  

 

:grouphug:

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I only glanced at the responses so this may duplicate some of them.  I have 3 school-age kids in 6th, 3rd, and 1st (and a preschooler and a 1 YO).  School-age kids all have dyslexia though one is mild and works independently.  Two would qualify for an ADHD diagnosis I believe and the third is quite oppositional.  I survive by being realistic about what I can actually handle (and choosing curriculum accordingly), and by being creative.  Being realistic means that we do about 30 mins/day of family time around the table at breakfast, which covers history (my 6th grader does her own history also), read-alouds, devotions, geography, art (during read-alouds), and various Charlotte Mason-style extras like picture study, poetry, and composer study.  It means the younger two use Mystery Science (streaming videos) for science, 1x/week and don't usually do the experiments/hands-on part.  It means the 1st grader daily does his Barton lesson (which I recently handed off to an online tutor because of his oppositionality, but have done myself for the past year), one page of Miquon math, one sentence of copywork, and one verse of Bible memory work per week.  Ideally he listens to 15 mins of audiobooks too but he dislikes almost all of them and since he's oppositional...sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't.  It means the 3rd grader does his Barton lesson (45-60 mins/day), 2 pgs of Miquon math, 2 pgs of math facts, cursive copywork, 10 mins of independent assigned reading, one page of a light grammar program, and two verses a week of Bible memory work.  His schoolwork takes him roughly 2.5 to 3 hours/day, including the family time, plus 30-60 minutes of listening to audiobooks most days.  This is lighter than many here but I feel it's enough for now (we do lean more toward Charlotte Mason style which tends to be lighter in the early years anyway).  The 3rd grader should be done with Barton by the end of this school year and he'll be doing a little more next year, a few more subjects (keyboarding, a real grammar program, not sure what else yet) and be, hopefully, a lot more independent (working toward that this year).

Being creative looks like using a timer for certain things with the 3rd grader because he focuses much better with a timer.  It means he does his math in evenings before bed because he focuses on it much better then.  It means he stands up to do most of his schoolwork (and walks his feet up the wall behind him while doing reading lessons...sight...at least he's paying attention even if he appears to be off in la-la land!).  It means we school 4 days a week (I only do family time and the 3rd grader's reading lesson on Fridays) because it helps me keep my sanity.  It means we listen to audiobooks at lunchtime when I remember so the 1st grader is forced to listen to audiobooks since he resists them most of the rest of the time.  It means having DH build a divider to set on the kitchen table so both boys can work at the table sometimes (otherwise there's zero chance of the 3rd grader focusing with someone else's interesting work to check out).  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...