Independent learning

[visitor]

From which age could your child(ren) study independently?

 

My oldest son is nearly 9 years old after a short explanation he can go further independently.

 

But I whish he would be more motivated to start without my assistance :). I know he is still very young.

 

So my question is which age level is approximately the stage were he / she can work most of the time independently?

Edited March 3, 2018 by visitor

[OneStepAtATime]

This is entirely dependent on the child, the circumstances within the given situation, the materials, etc.

 

There are some kids that could be very independent at that age.  There are a lot that aren't.  In a school setting they would be scaffolded for at least another 7 years.  There are homeschoolers posting about how hard even their 16 year old finds it to be a self-starter.  

 

My daughter was not really able to be super independent until about 15ish.  She was sort of independent in some things prior to that but she really needed a lot of support.  Now she does well with a great many things.  Super independent.  But not completely independent yet even now (still in High School).  My son, 14, is a self-starter for some things but for others he still needs scaffolding and my support and reminders to get him moving and interaction with me to keep going.  The kids and I work as a team to figure out where our priorities are for the week/day but I am still the facilitator.  I still print out a list for all of us of things that need to get done, keeping track of our schedules (with their input since they often know more about what is happening with their schedules outside of academics) and I still check in with each of them in the morning and at the end of the day, as well as working with them on the subjects we do together.  It is more of a team thing now but I am still directly involved.

 

A lot of this is personality and organizational skills too.  Is your son very social?  Is he very organized?  Does he like working alone or does he do better with involvement from others?  Is he a box checker or more a do whatever is put in front of him or a kid who seems sort of random or...?  How well does he keep track of tasks without outside scaffolding?

 

Why do you need him to be a self-starter?  Are there other things going on that need your attention and you feel you simply don't have time to sit with him?

 

Perhaps what would help you and he both is if he felt more invested in his schedule, saw clearly laid out goals/requirements for each day and was involved in creating those goals and then you and he came up with a WRITTEN schedule (which you may already do but was this worked on together?) you and he could refer to that would meet both of your needs. Not necessarily a schedule based on rigid time requirements but more of a go with the flow, do the next thing?  Or maybe set times and then he gets some time to play?  

 

Also, you want him to be a self-starter but what are you hoping he will self-start?  What specific types of materials?  Is any of it particularly interesting to him? 

 

A whole lot of kids do not learn well or find motivation from learning in a vacuum.  And some kids really, really need people.  They don't think well without interaction with other people.  And some kids need to feel loved (not need to be loved but need to FEEL loved) and are more motivated if they feel their parent is invested in them as a person first and a student second.  I think sometimes we, as home educators, put academics first and forget that the child in front of us may be reading that as academics matter more than they do as a person.  They need to know that they are our much loved child, not just our student, and for many kids they do better overall if we make sure their cup is full of love before tackling academics. 

 

Maybe it would work better if you and he started out together doing something none academic to reconnect at the start of each day.  Then provide him the list of things to get done for the day that you had both discussed and created perhaps the day before or over the weekend for that week.  Do something short academically together to get him started then have him doing some things on his own with you nearby doing your things.  If he had questions he could ask immediately, you could be nearby to help keep him positively motivated and focused, and he wouldn't feel alone.

 

Over time, with consistency and scaffolding he will eventually develop more independence but he really is still young.  This usually takes quite a bit of time.  Pick one or two things only that you are expecting him to do on his own but train him in getting started on those things without you and do it from a place of encouragement and support, not frustration, if you can.  

 

Good luck.

[visitor]

Thanks I think I am a little bit disorganised at this moment with my toddler and baby. That's the reason I was hoping he could start with some independent work.Thanks for your reply it really got me thinking :)

[OneStepAtATime]

Ah yes it can be hard when you have super little ones that need you for just even daily survival, LOL.   :grouphug:

 

Sit down with your son.  Be honest that this is involving your needs, not some failure on his part, and try to brainstorm together a way to get things done without him feeling like it is all on his shoulders and he is failing in some way.  Keep it upbeat.  Make eye contact (unless that makes him uncomfortable) and smile and thank him for working with you to find a solution.  

 

 

Edited March 3, 2018 by OneStepAtATime

[visitor]

Thanks great advice

[4KookieKids]

My kiddo who is that age does better at self-starting when he has a checklist and knows *exactly* what I expect of him, and we've talked about it by ourselves at some point (without the little kids interrupting). So if I expect him to read a chapter of a certain book, then I write that out clearly. If I expect him to read for a certain amount of time, I write it out clearly. Piano lesson online + 15 minutes of practice. Chores - exactly what his chores are each day. After reading 30 minutes, write a few sentences about what you wrote. etc. And then when I see him fooling around, I can just ask him if his work is done. This doesn't work for the things that he *needs* me to do with him (e.g., correcting the stuff he wrote earlier on his own), of course, but it's very helpful on the things that he really *can* do on his own and is just distracted by all the ruckous of having three younger siblings. :)  Then, when I can sit with him to work, he's already got most of the stuff done that he can do on his own.

[mathnerd]

A very detailed and rigid schedule helps a child manage his own time. So, make a schedule, print it out and give him a timer and ask him to follow it. For e.g. if spelling takes 15 minutes and if he overshoots it, tell him to stop and move on to the next thing he needs to do but have him go back to spelling to finish it at the end of the day. Schedule the harder subjects that needs your attention when your little kids have nap time and schedule the subjects that he can do on his own (reading, art, worksheets etc) when your toddler and baby need attention. I usually eat later than my son. I get the printouts and things ready when he eats and then, when he starts on his work, I eat by his side while also helping him. I quiz my son on spelling etc when I drive him to activities. 

[SoCal_Bear]

I use a planner for my 9yo. I write out what his assignments and scheduled activities are. It's usually written out for at least the week to 2 weeks ahead. I do it in eraseable pen. It's up to him the order in which he does them and how quickly. Once he is done, he's free for the rest of the day. He's free to use his screentime which is only earned if he completes his work. We've discussed how many "things" has has to do a day. We've agreed that it's set at 8 right now. We discuss how to split up his assignments for classes and what needs to happen everyday. I work these into his schedule. For example, piano, math, Latin, and some sort of language arts (this varies depending on the day, I group enough tasks together to be about 20-30 minutes of work) appears everyday. Everything else gets scheduled based on the week and when things might be due. For certain days that are busier with either online classes, co-op or field trips, we have agreed on how much has to be done of those days. Usually, just the everyday stuff. I will usually put "easier" review or "skill maintenance" type assignments on these days. I would guess that most of the tasks on his schedule are around 20 to 30 minutes of effort.