S/o mom in hospital

[lewber]

When my dad was in the hospital last summer for 8 nights, we had a family member with him at all times and overnight every night. Now my mom is in the hospital and we're trying again but my sister is a teacher and can't help out this week. This is such a luxury, but at the same time I've always felt we shouldn't leave them alone.

What do you do when you have family in the hospital?

[Rosie_0801]

The best we can.

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Ottakee]

It is so hard. I think it is ideal to have a family member there full time but often I have had to leave as I am the only one able to go/stay and I can't do it all.

[Storygirl]

MIL was just in the hospital in another state for almost two weeks. DH flew down there, and he and FIL took turns staying overnight in MIL's room. However, she was in quite a bit of pain, was disoriented, not sleeping well, and was confused. They didn't want to leave her alone. (DH's sister was there for a couple of days before DH arrived, and DH's brother took over when DH had to fly back home).

 

So they never left her alone in the hospital for those two weeks.

 

My dad has had a couple of shorter hospital stays after surgeries. No one stayed overnight with him, and he wouldn't have wanted us to. But he is independent, could communicate his own needs, and was resting comfortably before we left. Family did remain at the hospital throughout his procedures and recovery time.

 

It's so hard to not be able to be there all the time. But sometimes it's not possible. And sometimes the individual doesn't need or want constant attention. I would make every effort to be there all the time with anyone who is not able to self-advocate or understand what is going on.

[Melissa in Australia]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

 

 

I haven't heard of anyone staying with someone in hospital 24 hours of the day unless it is a small child. Most hospitals I have ever been to have very strict visiting hours.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

 

With my parents we tried to have someone there as much as possible, especially if doctors were gong to be coming through. It’s hard to advocate for yourself if you are sick and heavily medicated

 

It wasn’t always possible, but we tried.

[lewber]

It sounds like we all try to do the best we can. That's all we can do. I hate to leave them there alone. Neither of them have much medical understanding and I knew I wouldn't get accurate info from them. I have two siblings and an extremely helpful DH to share the load. But I have an only child- he won't be able to provide as much coverage for DH or me I'm sure.

[hornblower]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

 

 

I haven't heard of anyone staying with someone in hospital 24 hours of the day unless it is a small child. Most hospitals I have ever been to have very strict visiting hours.

 

Our hospitals are 24h open to visitors. You absolutely can stay with people & many people strongly believe that you should not be left alone - esp if the person is unwell but conscious.   I can't remember who it was but someone on this board in a previous thread recommended hiring a private lpn rather than leaving a patient alone.

 

Medication errors, patients getting up to go pee & breaking limbs (because they forget they're supposed to wait for help or help is late or the bed alarms are not being monitored etc) .... Unless a person is really quite well, I think they should have someone there to make sure meds are on time and properly administered. 

 

[Amber in SJ]

When my mom was hospitalized on & off for the last 6 weeks of her life I made sure there was someone with her at all times.  In fact the last bit she was in intensive care the first night the nurses didn't let me sleep in her room, so I slept in the intensive care waiting room 2 doors down.  Once they saw that I was serious about staying they found me a lovely reclining chair and I lived there at her side for the next 9 days until she passed.  I left for 2 hours each day while my dad was there so I could go home, pack my food, shower, change my clothes, etc.  I was there to give her sips of water & hold her hand and talk to her in the few moments she was lucid.  I was also there to make sure she got her pain medication on time because sometimes that was not forthcoming.  But that was mostly for me.  My dad, who adored my mom, could not emotionally be there 24/7.  My siblings came and went as they could.  I could not leave her there.

 

My 14 year old neighbor had surgery last year and I was surprised that his family were only there for visiting hours for the 4 days he was in the hospital.  It doesn't make them bad parents or uncaring or any of those things.  Just different.  

 

I am sad for those who want to be there more but can't for whatever reason.  No one should put guilt on others or themselves for that.

 

Amber in SJ

[Junie]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[4everHis]

Best friends dad was just in hospital.BF talked to Dr re:her dad's blood counts. Dr. decided heparin should not be given as originally planned. Dr. left room & minutes later a nurse came in to administer heparin shot😟 Had bf not been there to advocate and oversee...

[lewber]

Our hospitals are 24h open to visitors. You absolutely can stay with people & many people strongly believe that you should not be left alone - esp if the person is unwell but conscious. I can't remember who it was but someone on this board in a previous thread recommended hiring a private lpn rather than leaving a patient alone.

 

Medication errors, patients getting up to go pee & breaking limbs (because they forget they're supposed to wait for help or help is late or the bed alarms are not being monitored etc) .... Unless a person is really quite well, I think they should have someone there to make sure meds are on time and properly administered.

 

That's a good point about hiring someone. We are getting good care, but we had to request the compression cuffs for her legs, ask several times for additional pain meds, and make sure they were dosing timely, she tried to get out of bed twice just forgetting where she was when she woke up.

I'm grateful we are able to stay as needed and have some medical knowledge and friends in the medical world who lovingly give us advice. It's really made a big difference in these two hospitalizations.

[Bluegoat]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

 

 

I haven't heard of anyone staying with someone in hospital 24 hours of the day unless it is a small child. Most hospitals I have ever been to have very strict visiting hours.

 

I've never really heard of people doing that here either.  People stay with children or those who are imminently dying, or women having babies.  

[sassenach]

We had to acknowledge that this was a marathon and not a sprint, so as long as they were stable, everyone slept at home. And staying employed is a priority, too.

 

It’s not easy.

[sassenach]

:grouphug: :grouphug:

 

 

 

I haven't heard of anyone staying with someone in hospital 24 hours of the day unless it is a small child. Most hospitals I have ever been to have very strict visiting hours.

In most of our local hospitals, “visiting hours†is a thing of the past.

[Bluegoat]

In most of our local hospitals, “visiting hours†is a thing of the past.

 

Isn't that kind of hard on the patients?  I found it almost impossible to sleep last time I was in hospital, and it was relatively quiet at night, but I could still hear nurses and such moving around.  And I went to visit my great-aunt last week in hospital and she said the same thing - impossible to get rest day or night because of people being around, so she had to ask for sleeping pills.

[unsinkable]

I just spent a week, hundreds of miles from my home, helping care for my uncle. My aunt would spend the night with him and then go sleep during the afternoon and evening while I was there. I'd get there in late morning so she and I were both there a couple hours together.

 

His situation was complicated bc he was in another city, not his at home. The only good thing about the week was the free breakfast at the hotel.

 

When my DD is hospitalized, I always stay the night. Bc of her epilepsy, if she is in the hospital, she is usually gorked out on a ton of meds bc she went into status. No way I'd leave her.

 

DH would take care of the boys when They Were Little. He'd drive up to a side door with them in the car and I'd run down and we'd switch for A Few Hours.

[hornblower]

Isn't that kind of hard on the patients?  I found it almost impossible to sleep last time I was in hospital, and it was relatively quiet at night, but I could still hear nurses and such moving around.  And I went to visit my great-aunt last week in hospital and she said the same thing - impossible to get rest day or night because of people being around, so she had to ask for sleeping pills.

 

There are quiet hours & they limit people (& often kids not allowed past certain time) but otherwise, you can camp out beside people 24/7

Social isolation is viewed as a significant stressor for the patient. Post anesthesia delirium can really mess with seniors.  One one one care, esp from a familiar face can keep people much calmer. On dd's last clinical rotation, there were a couple floating LPNs which worked for the hospital which would be assigned to patients with anxiety/delirium/dementia but sometimes there's not enough of them & then a private care aide from a nursing agency can be hired by the family.

 

Hospitals are awful for sleeping no matter what. 

 

[sassenach]

Isn't that kind of hard on the patients?  I found it almost impossible to sleep last time I was in hospital, and it was relatively quiet at night, but I could still hear nurses and such moving around.  And I went to visit my great-aunt last week in hospital and she said the same thing - impossible to get rest day or night because of people being around, so she had to ask for sleeping pills.

I think it goes along with most hospitals going to single beds. 

 

I find it impossible to sleep in a hospital, but it's never been because of other people having visitors. Do we really need vitals checked every 4 hours?

[melmichigan]

One of us have always stayed in the hospital with our children, often overlapping for an hour or two to update each other and discuss treatment while someone stayed at home with the remaining children.  I stay as much of 24/7 as possible when my husband is admitted, he doesn't do well post anesthesia, and has tried to die on my more than once.

 

No one stayed with my step-FIL's mother when she was rushed to the hospital, so no one realized she'd been put on coumadin without having her levels checked, and she eventually died from the following complications.  I was very sad to hear that she was moved to hospice and eventually passed without anyone at her bedside, they'd already said their goodbyes.  I would have driven down and sat with her myself, but I realize that not everyone feels this way.

[prairiewindmomma]

I am in the camp that family should not be left alone in hospitals wherever possible.  That said, it's not always possible.  Do the best you can, call in an hour before or after shift change for updates, and try to be there for rounds if you are having to pick and choose what to cover.  If there are big things going on, I try to cover those too.  I have facetimed in or had speakerphone phonecalls when I couldn't make it to rounds or discharge planning meetings.   

 

FWIW, while *I* have been left alone in the hospital, I would hire a private LPN before leaving a patient with dementia/unconscious patient/medically unsophisticated patient alone overnight in a hospital.  We recently had a broken hip in one family member, and a broken wrist in another (same week, last month) from falls at night in a medical facility. 

[Amber in SJ]

We call the night in the hospital after giving birth, "The night of 1,000 nurses."  If it wasn't someone coming in to check me, then she was there to check the baby, or take the baby for something because I refused to have the baby in the nursery, someone even came in at 4am to take the baby for newborn pics.  What on Earth?  A nurse woke me up to tell me I couldn't sleep with the baby in my bed after nursing, someone else came in and woke me up to ask me if Dh & I wanted the "special" dinner the next day because I had marked "no" on my card and surely that wasn't right?  Who wouldn't want cheesecake (the lactose intolerant) 

 

Keep in mind that after baby #1 these were completely unmedicated births & I don't take anything stronger than OTC pain relievers after.  We could not run out of there fast enough.  

 

That being said I make my Dh stay with me at the hospital after each birth.  I do not want to be alone there.

 

Hospitals are not places to sleep!

 

Amber in SJ

[Pawz4me]

My mother was in the hospital for eleven weeks, four of them in ICU, before she passed away. It was impossible for someone to stay with her 24/7 for that long. I would have liked to have had someone there, but I recognized the realities of the situation. My brother had to work. Her siblings and friends were all elderly and many of them not in good health. Youngest DS was in middle school and I was homeschooling him. Oldest DS was in public high school and had his driver's license, so he could pretty much take care of himself. Still, there was schooling to do, groceries to be bought, people who needed feeding , pets who needed tending and laundry that needed to be done. We did the best we could. And while I would have liked to have been there more, I know she understood.

 

I guess I may be weird but the times I've been in the hospital I haven't wanted anyone there overnight, even DH. It was almost midnight before oldest DS was delivered via c-section, after I'd been in labor for 24 hours. I still sent him home. He was exhausted and I knew I'd worry so much about him trying to rest in an uncomfortable hospital recliner that I'd get more rest myself if he were at home, where I knew he could sleep a few hours comfortably. After youngest was born (another c-section) I wanted him and oldest home and in their own beds. Same thing after my hysterectomy--I rested better knowing they were all at home and comfy.

 

I don't know, maybe if I were seriously ill or injured I'd think differently. But so far -- nope. Don't want to inconvenience anybody that much.

Edited February 19, 2018 by Pawz4me

[Lizzie in Ma]

Due to horrible errors by hospitals in the past with our family, we have a rule of never, ever leaving a family member alone in one.  It is really hard as we lose work days, sleep, and everything else that we would normally be doing in a day but better safe than sorry.  We do have myself, my sister, my niece and nephew, my oldest daughter and my husband who take turns, which helps as well as a dear family friend.  But it isn't easy.

[Catwoman]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

 I haven't heard of anyone staying with someone in hospital 24 hours of the day unless it is a small child. Most hospitals I have ever been to have very strict visiting hours.

  

I've never really heard of people doing that here either.  People stay with children or those who are imminently dying, or women having babies.

 

Maybe it’s a cultural difference?

 

In our family, no one stays in the hospital alone, and there have always been many other overnight visitors staying with other patients when we have been there, so it’s definitely a common thing. There are certainly plenty of patients who stay overnight alone and who don’t have frequent visitors, but there seems to be a lot more families that stay 24/7 than there used to be.

 

It’s rough being the person who’s staying overnight with a patient for days or weeks on end because you never get much rest, but my feeling is that my inconvenience pales in comparison to the family member who’s stuck being a patient in the hospital, so I just suck it up and deal with it.

[Laura Corin]

  

Maybe it’s a cultural difference?

 

I think it must be.  My mum's in hospital at present and there are lots of visitors (hours from 2-8 but I'm sure you could arrange other times) but I would be surprised to see people staying overnight.  My mum is delighted with the staff.

[stephanier.1765]

I guess I may be weird but the times I've been in the hospital I haven't wanted anyone there overnight, even DH. It was almost midnight before oldest DS was delivered via c-section, after I'd been in labor for 24 hours. I still sent him home. He was exhausted and I knew I'd worry so much about him trying to rest in an uncomfortable hospital recliner that I'd get more rest myself if he were at home, where I knew he could sleep a few hours comfortably. After youngest was born (another c-section) I wanted him and oldest home and in their own beds. Same thing after my hysterectomy--I rested better knowing they were all at home and comfy.

 

I don't know, maybe if I were seriously ill or injured I'd think differently. But so far -- nope. Don't want to inconvenience anybody that much.

 

I'm weird right there with you. I don't even like visitors outside my dh because I feel like I have to "host" while they are there. When I'm not feeling well, all I want is to be left alone to not feel well.

 

My parents though are the stay through the night kind of folks and I remember visiting my mother the last time she was in the hospital when a gentleman stopped by to say hello. She was in so much discomfort and pain that I could see it on her face but she wouldn't say a word as long as he was there. Finally I stood up and started to help rearrange her sitting position and ask her questions to test her pain level to hopefully alleviate it when the guy suddenly got a clue. And that right there is why I don't like to visit unless it's immediate family either.

[Ottakee]

I stayed as much as possible with MIL but neither her nor FIL when he was in wanted anyone there overnight. Never, ever.

[wonderchica]

When my father was in the hospital for 2 months, most of his nurses implied they expected someone to stay overnight. Every night. Around here, “people†act horrified if you leave someone alone overnight.

Edited February 19, 2018 by wonderchica

[Garga]

If you can stay with them, stay with them.  Nurses are overworked and sometimes miss the simplest of things.

 

We know a boy who has been in the hospital for a couple of months with serious brain cancer.  At one point, a spot on his head was swelling, I think after the surgery, and the nurses said they couldn't do anything for it until a doctor saw it.  After waiting for an hour or so, the dad finally said enough is enough and got a bag of ice for the swelling spot and it went down.  Maybe he shouldn't have done that, but it did seem to be that all that was needed was simple basic first aid for a swollen spot. 

 

Another time the dad went for dinner in the hospital cafeteria.  While he was gone a nurse came in and asked the drugged 12 yo if he needed more pain meds or if he felt ok.  He said he felt ok.  Poor grandma was there and figured that since he felt ok, he didn't need the pain meds.  An hour or so later, the boy was in excruciating head pain for hours upon hours because his pain meds had worn off.  Dad knew that he needed to keep his pain meds going on schedule, but the nurse didn't seem to know that (and neither did poor grandma.)  This seems like a pretty simple thing for a nurse to know, but I guess since the (drugged, 12 yo) patient said he didn't need them, she didn't/couldn't give them to him.  It took at least half a day for the pain meds to kick back for the boy with brain cancer and excruciating headaches because of it.  If they'd have kept on schedule, he wouldn't have suffered.

 

The boy was losing weight at an alarming rate and was delirious and passing out and not coming to for hours.  That's because he hadn't been able to keep his food down.  The mom finally demanded that they get some IV nutrition in him and lo and behold, he started gaining strength.  Basically, he was starving to death and no one at the hospital put two and two together (puking up all food + weak and passing out = starving.)

 

Anyway...after the parents' posting on FB "here's what happened today" about these things (and there was one more that I'm forgetting), I'm never leaving someone in a hospital alone. 

 

Of course, there were also many good things done at the hospital. The treatments the boy had for the cancer have been keeping him alive.

 

But he very well might have starved to death (literally), if the mother hadn't stepped in and figured out on her own what was going on.  And the boy suffered needlessly from the pain meds not being maintained, and also had that lump on his head that simply needed a cool compress to help it go down.  

 

All these things have happened in the past 2 months.  He's at home for a few days and will be heading right back in for chemo in about  week or so.  His family is staying with him round the clock.  And sure, you could say they're doing that because he's 12, but the things that have happened to him could have happened to an adult, too.  An adult could be starved, left with a swelling on his head, or not given pain meds at the proper time.  It's the person who is not doped up or staving to death to try to see what's going on and alert the medical staff to it.

 

Hospitals might be great with the bells and whistles (radiation machines) but sometimes drop the ball on simple stuff.  And sometimes it's vice versa.  I'm a little scared of hospitals.

Edited February 19, 2018 by Garga

[Bluegoat]

I'm weird right there with you. I don't even like visitors outside my dh because I feel like I have to "host" while they are there. When I'm not feeling well, all I want is to be left alone to not feel well.

 

My parents though are the stay through the night kind of folks and I remember visiting my mother the last time she was in the hospital when a gentleman stopped by to say hello. She was in so much discomfort and pain that I could see it on her face but she wouldn't say a word as long as he was there. Finally I stood up and started to help rearrange her sitting position and ask her questions to test her pain level to hopefully alleviate it when the guy suddenly got a clue. And that right there is why I don't like to visit unless it's immediate family either.

 

Me too.  I'd hate having someone in there all the time.  I don't really even like dh in there all the time.

[alisoncooks]

We're in the position to know ahead of time that DH will be in the hospital for about a month.

We already know he'll be alone every night -- I'll be home with the kids. And with current flu restrictions (no visitors under 12 in the inpatient units), I'll be dependent on friends/family as babysitters, in order to spend time there.

 

It sucks but there's no way around it.

[Carol in Cal.]

We cover during the day and to the point of making sure that the 'pain meds so you will sleep tonight' are administered.  But not overnight.  

 

And, it makes a big difference in pain relief and making sure all the bases are covered that we do so.

 

Sometimes I end up advocating for a stranger who is not similarly covered.

 

Hospitals are not a place where you can just relax and count on being cared for.  They should be but they are not.

[Melissa in Australia]

  

Maybe it’s a cultural difference?

 

In our family, no one stays in the hospital alone, and there have always been many other overnight visitors staying with other patients when we have been there, so it’s definitely a common thing. There are certainly plenty of patients who stay overnight alone and who don’t have frequent visitors, but there seems to be a lot more families that stay 24/7 than there used to be.

 

It’s rough being the person who’s staying overnight with a patient for days or weeks on end because you never get much rest, but my feeling is that my inconvenience pales in comparison to the family member who’s stuck being a patient in the hospital, so I just suck it up and deal with it.

Maybe .. or maybe our medical system works better and care is better?

 

Here if you are coming out of anaesthetic you are in the recovery room. Nobody except medical staff are allowed there.  There is a nurse per person until they are shifted to the ward

 

Where do the people staying overnight sleep? Here there is  only about 2 chairs per room, 4 patients  in each room. There isn't really room next to the beds for a chair all the time, only during visiting time and then they are placed back under the window inbetween. 

[Twigs]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[wonderchica]

Maybe .. or maybe our medical system works better and care is better?

 

Here if you are coming out of anaesthetic you are in the recovery room. Nobody except medical staff are allowed there. There is a nurse per person until they are shifted to the ward

 

Where do the people staying overnight sleep? Here there is only about 2 chairs per room, 4 patients in each room. There isn't really room next to the beds for a chair all the time, only during visiting time and then they are placed back under the window inbetween.

1-2 patients per room. I’ve never seen any more than that, anywhere. Each bed typically has at least 1 chair beside it. Some rooms have chairs that fold out into a bed/larger chair.

[Melissa in Australia]

I have been in a city hospital as a patient that had 6 beds per room and one nurse stationed in that room

Edited February 19, 2018 by Melissa in Australia

[Storygirl]

I have been in a city hospital as a patient that had 6 beds per room and one nurse stationed in that room

 

In the US, the nurses do not stay in the rooms with the patients. There is a central desk area, with the rooms arranged in the halls around it. The nurses visit each room to administer meds and check on the patients and do whatever is needed, but then they move on to the next room or return to the desk to update the records and do the other administrative work. So there can be long periods of time where patients are left alone, although they do have call buttons to summon a nurse when they need them.

 

[Melissa in Australia]

In the US, the nurses do not stay in the rooms with the patients. There is a central desk area, with the rooms arranged in the halls around it. The nurses visit each room to administer meds and check on the patients and do whatever is needed, but then they move on to the next room or return to the desk to update the records and do the other administrative work. So there can be long periods of time where patients are left alone, although they do have call buttons to summon a nurse when they need them.

 

that is how the normal rooms are here. I was in intensive care when there was a nurse in the  room

Edited February 19, 2018 by Melissa in Australia

[hornblower]

Maybe .. or maybe our medical system works better and care is better?

 

Here if you are coming out of anaesthetic you are in the recovery room. Nobody except medical staff are allowed there.  There is a nurse per person until they are shifted to the ward

 

Where do the people staying overnight sleep? Here there is  only about 2 chairs per room, 4 patients  in each room. There isn't really room next to the beds for a chair all the time, only during visiting time and then they are placed back under the window inbetween. 

I'm in Canada, in what I consider to be a pretty darn good medical system.  Yes, in surgical recovery there are no visitors and you have 1 on 1 nursing. 

 

Then after a couple hours you get moved to post op and patient/nurse load goes up. They like to day surg a lot of things (my breast surgery was day surgery), esp if there's help at home, so you go home fast.  But if you're kept overnight your nurse will not always be there. They have to do vitals on everyone at regular intervals, update the charts, dispense meds throughout the night so they're wandering around a lot

 

There is space to tuck in a lounge or sort of cheap lazboy thing beside the beds. If there's an empty bed, they'll sometimes pretend not to notice a visitor is in it. 

 

Someone I know - her mom went in for bad upper resp infection over xmas. She broke her hip in hospital, getting up to go to the bathroom because she didn't want to wait/ask for help. -> complications with surgery and post anesthesia depression  etc, all due to not having someone to watch her like a hawk.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Laura Corin]

My mum is in an elderly assessment ward - mostly people being assessed for dementia or similar, so few have acute needs.  There's one lady who seems more unwell and is in a single room right by the nurse's office.  Everyone else is in four-person rooms off a wide central corridor.  There seem to be a lot of staff - carers and some nurses.  Visitors seem to be visiting rather than caring.  Almost all the patients are mobile.

 

When I lived in China, family in that city (I don't know about country-wide) used to accompany patients in hospital at all times because the nurses only performed medical services.  Food, bed-linen changes, washing, etc., were all provided by family/friends.

[MotherGoose]

When my dh was in the hospital for a serious emergency condition for three weeks, I stayed the entire time. But I had no kids and no job. It was a horrible experience. When he went to the hospital again for ten days, I had kids. He didn't like it at all, wanted me to be there all night and just go home for showers or whatever, but I told him I could not do that again. My family stayed with the kids, but I could not just vanish for ten days. Someone needed to be a parent. When I was hospitalized in several occasions, I told him to go home. Whenever he did stay anyway he kept me awake snoring! He was also in danger of generally being impatient about getting his things taken care of and possibly doing something to injure myself, but he is like that all the time anyway. And very mean on pain meds and in pain. So really I woulzd rather let the nurses deal with it. If he was truly in danger of dying and couldn't communicate what was going on then sure it would be different. But just your basic policy that someone is there all the time, no.

 

eta I stayed most of every day at the hospital.

Edited February 19, 2018 by MotherGoose

[AimeeM]

DS8 was in the hospital for about a month when he was around 18 months old. He was in for two weeks following lung/vascular surgery, released, then readmitted a day or so later due to complications / infection / lung collapse, for another 2 or 3 weeks. 

 

We tried very hard to never have him in the hospital alone. And 99% of the time, that worked -- but, really, only because we knew ahead of time that the surgery was going to take place, so arrangements could be made for our oldest child's care (at home). My mother was able to come up from another state for the first week or two, then another family for another week, and then another family member for a couple weeks, and neighborhood friends helped out here and there, too. 

 

The only time we had to leave him alone was the occasional run back to the house to get clothing, etc. However, by that point we trusted the nurses we knew would be on shift. On more than one occasion, I would be fast asleep in his hospital crib, and wake to find a nightshift nurse rocking him and singing him -- so I could get some sleep. The nurses at our children's hospital were amazing. 

 

 

I'm not sure we'd have the same resources if it happened again, honestly. I have zero family in the area now (or even close enough to drive at all). The one family who lives somewhat near us takes care of a farm all day (largely by herself) and that just isn't the kind of job she can take time off from. My only best friend I would feel comfortable doing it (considering our kids' special needs) is about to move out of state. I have no clue how we would pull it off. 

[AimeeM]

Maybe .. or maybe our medical system works better and care is better?

 

Here if you are coming out of anaesthetic you are in the recovery room. Nobody except medical staff are allowed there.  There is a nurse per person until they are shifted to the ward

 

Where do the people staying overnight sleep? Here there is  only about 2 chairs per room, 4 patients  in each room. There isn't really room next to the beds for a chair all the time, only during visiting time and then they are placed back under the window inbetween. 

 

Every hospital I've been to has had private rooms. One patient per room. At the women's hospital I had the children in, at the children's hospital my son had his surgery at, and even in the ER when my husband went in recently. 

 

In each room there was a couch that could fold out into a small bed, with the exception of the ER room my husband was in (because if he were admitted he'd be moved to a different room).

[TechWife]

:grouphug: :grouphug:

 

 

 

I haven't heard of anyone staying with someone in hospital 24 hours of the day unless it is a small child. Most hospitals I have ever been to have very strict visiting hours.

Immediate family members aren’t considered visitors in the hospitals I’m familiar with. Parents of a child, spouses, and children of patients aren’t visitors. Depending on the unit, there may be a limit on the number of people allowed in a room at one time. At certain times of the year there is an age requirement as well. Generally speaking, though, hospitals around here don’t prevent access to immediate family members.

[J-rap]

I think it depends a lot on various circumstances.  I was in the hospital for surgery (an "ectomy") several years ago for a few days, and it would have been silly for someone to stay with me.  Very unnecessary.

 

On the other hand, my dh was in neuro-ICU for about two weeks, and I (plus one child at a time) stayed with him 24 hours/day the entire time.  Not in his room the whole time -- I did need a break of a little emotional distance now and then, and there would have been no place to sleep in his room.  But we slept in the family lounge where each chair opened into a little cot and they brought pillows and blankets.  Because you can imagine that in neuro-ICU, it is always life or death and everyone stays over night.

 

When he was in a rehab hospital for three months, three of my girls and I were there every single day from about 9am to 9pm, but not at night. It was a great hospital and a nurse was stationed right outside of his room all night.  

 

It really depends so much on circumstances.

[Pawz4me]

Maybe .. or maybe our medical system works better and care is better?

 

Here if you are coming out of anaesthetic you are in the recovery room. Nobody except medical staff are allowed there.  There is a nurse per person until they are shifted to the ward

 

Where do the people staying overnight sleep? Here there is  only about 2 chairs per room, 4 patients  in each room. There isn't really room next to the beds for a chair all the time, only during visiting time and then they are placed back under the window inbetween. 

 

Recovery rooms here work like you describe. Patient rooms are all private, one patient per room, and always have either a small couch that will fold out to make a bed or a recliner. Often both. Nurses usually have 20-30 patients to care for and generally they administer medicine and assess the patient's condition and seem to do a LOT of record keeping. And of course communicate with doctors when necessary about the patient's condition, response to medicine prescribed or need for different medicine, etc. Sometimes the nurses have some leeway in which medicines to give (for pain relief, for example). There are certified nurse assistants (CNAs) who generally have a smaller patient load than nurses and do things like check vital signs on a schedule or as needed, help with bathing, change bedding, make sure the patient has water, etc. Most patients rely more on the CNA and see hiim/her much more frequently than the nurse, although often there's a tendency to refer to both of them as "nurse."

Edited February 20, 2018 by Pawz4me

[J-rap]

Recovery rooms here work like you describe. Patient rooms are all private, one patient per room, and always have either a small couch that will fold out to make a bed or a recliner. Often both. Nurses usually have 20-30 patients to care for and generally they administer medicine and assess the patient's condition and seem to do a LOT of record keeping. And of course communicate with doctors when necessary about the patient's condition, response to medicine prescribed or need for different medicine, etc. Sometimes the nurses have some leeway in which medicines to give (for pain relief, for example). There are certified nurse assistants (CNAs) who generally have a smaller patient load than nurses and do things like check vital signs on a schedule or as needed, help with bathing, change bedding, make sure the patient has water, etc. Most patients rely more on the CNA and see hiim/her much more frequently than the nurse, although often there's a tendency to refer to both of them as "nurse."

 

In our area, it seems to be about half and half private rooms vs. shared rooms.  Often insurance only covers the shared room and you have to pay the difference out-of-pocket if you want the private room.  And I've been in very few hospitals that have a couch or recliner in the room itself.  I think more hospitals are going this direction though, if they can afford it.  It makes so much sense!  More often, I see family members sleeping uncomfortably in a family lounge down the hall.