Can we talk about Police?

[athomeontheprairie]

I fear this might get long...

And I fear this conversation has the potential to be heated...

 

Can we talk about local police? NOT police on a national scale, nor cases of police brutality, but *your* normal interactions with *your* local police.

Here's what's prompting this:

Some background: A good friend came to visit me. We've known each other for 20+ years. We went to the same (relatively) good public school, but we lived in different towns. We are both white females. My parents made more money and I came from a law abiding, tax paying, steady home where kids were valued. Her mom does marijuana (which was and is still illegal in my state), bounced around with jobs, defaulted on taxes multiple times, and was verbally abusive and at least once was physically abusive (I witnessed the abuse once in high school)

 

I live in a very rural area, she lives in a major city. She came to visit me, but met me at my job in town and followed me out to the farm. I can easily make it the 20 miles home without seeing another vehicle. When we were on gravel I noticed in the distance a car rapidly approaching. I slowed down, stopped at all stop signs, thinking "that car is a cop". He followed us for 7 miles on a county road (where I've NEVER seen an officer) before pulling her over. I stopped ahead of her and waited. When we got home she was shaking mad. He pulled her over because her license tag light was broken. But she had tags on the front (I think I know where we saw the officer and he would have been heading towards us on a highway before we turned on gravel. I think he saw her out of state tags in the front and saw her pull onto a country road.. and U turned. I honestly can think of no other reason. We did NOT pass him on the gravel. Zero chance that happened.).
She was so mad. More so than Ithink was reasonable. She did not get a ticket. She could not answer his questions (where are you going? where are you coming from?) My dd10 happened to be with her and answered the officer for her. She did not have her insurance card. He left her with a warning and a suggestion to get the light fixed. Then turned around and went back towards town.

Later, after kids were in bed, in prompted a very passionate discussion about how she assumes all police are power hungry and vindictive. Now, mind you, she lived above a bar from 5 years and was pulled over multiple times (18?) at night just because she was leaving her house (which was above a bar)...She's been pulled over and arrested for speeding, and for bringing marijuana across state lines (from a state where it IS legal, through my state, into a state that isn't legal). Her neighbor has called the police on her several times for failing to maintain trees, and the city she lives in has cited her for failing to comply with local building permits (as in, get a permit before you install an above ground pool or build a 6 foot high privacy fence). While most of these things are minor, she's had a lot of police interactions. I have not.

However, every time either of us have been with the police, it's been because we WERE breaking the law (even minor things, like speeding a little or broken light). I assume that they are protecting our area and are generally good people. I have never felt like they are actively targeting me. She feels like they are absolutely horrible people who should stay out of other peoples lives. All my interactions with them have been good. I feel like I teach my kids to trust them, to listen to the police. She is the exact opposite. It was such an extreme emotion for her and one I don't understand.

 

(I do think it was odd that he followed us as long as he did before he pulled her over. I have a very good idea of when he caught up to us. He was back there for awhile. We've had a lot of drugs coming into our area from out of state lately AND a rash of break ins-both in town and out in the country. She had out of area tags turning down a road at night that only locals would be using. I understand why the officer pulled her over. And am okay with it)

Can you tell me about how you view the police in your area? do you trust them? why or why not? Do you think it's different in other areas of the country? Do you think YOUR local police respond to YOUR local people differently based on race, gender, or religion? Do your parents hold similar beliefs about the police (as in, did you "inherit" their views?) If your parents have different beliefs about the nature of your local police, what changed that caused your views to be different?

 

 

[EmilyGF]

I am an upper-class white female living in a largely black major city.

 

I had a "run-in" with the police in 2009 when I turned right on red at a deserted stop light in the middle of nowhere. The "no right on red" light was backlit, which was why I didn't see it. The female cop gave me a ticket.

 

For the next 3-4 years, I started shaking each time I saw a cop on the road. I felt like my ticket was random - I stopped at the light, saw no one, did not see the sign, looked over my shoulder, then turned. I put no one in harm's way and really didn't see the sign at all. I felt like I was targeted (this was during the recession and places were desparate for money). For the next few years, I did frequently pull off the road when I saw a cop near me.

 

I'm over that now, but I figure people who feel like they are powerless with their police interactions probably feel the same way I did. Even though I wasn't totally powerless - there was a sign - I felt powerless because I didn't see it and the cop thought I was lying and wouldn't go look and check it out.

 

Yeah, I mentioned gender. My hubby was in the car with me, and immediately afterwards said, "If that'd been a man, you wouldn't have gotten a ticket." Maybe he was right, maybe not. But the parallel is "If that cop had been [other race] I wouldn't have gotten arrested/pulled over/etc." The feeling that you are powerless and targeted is very disempowering.

 

Emily

I fear this might get long...

And I fear this conversation has the potential to be heated...

 

Can we talk about local police? NOT police on a national scale, nor cases of police brutality, but *your* normal interactions with *your* local police.

Here's what's prompting this:

Some background: A good friend came to visit me. We've known each other for 20+ years. We went to the same (relatively) good public school, but we lived in different towns. We are both white females. My parents made more money and I came from a law abiding, tax paying, steady home where kids were valued. Her mom does marijuana (which was and is still illegal in my state), bounced around with jobs, defaulted on taxes multiple times, and was verbally abusive and at least once was physically abusive (I witnessed the abuse once in high school)

 

I live in a very rural area, she lives in a major city. She came to visit me, but met me at my job in town and followed me out to the farm. I can easily make it the 20 miles home without seeing another vehicle. When we were on gravel I noticed in the distance a car rapidly approaching. I slowed down, stopped at all stop signs, thinking "that car is a cop". He followed us for 7 miles on a county road (where I've NEVER seen an officer) before pulling her over. I stopped ahead of her and waited. When we got home she was shaking mad. He pulled her over because her license tag light was broken. But she had tags on the front (I think I know where we saw the officer and he would have been heading towards us on a highway before we turned on gravel. I think he saw her out of state tags in the front and saw her pull onto a country road.. and U turned. I honestly can think of no other reason. We did NOT pass him on the gravel. Zero chance that happened.).
She was so mad. More so than Ithink was reasonable. She did not get a ticket. She could not answer his questions (where are you going? where are you coming from?) My dd10 happened to be with her and answered the officer for her. She did not have her insurance card. He left her with a warning and a suggestion to get the light fixed. Then turned around and went back towards town.

Later, after kids were in bed, in prompted a very passionate discussion about how she assumes all police are power hungry and vindictive. Now, mind you, she lived above a bar from 5 years and was pulled over multiple times (18?) at night just because she was leaving her house (which was above a bar)...She's been pulled over and arrested for speeding, and for bringing marijuana across state lines (from a state where it IS legal, through my state, into a state that isn't legal). Her neighbor has called the police on her several times for failing to maintain trees, and the city she lives in has cited her for failing to comply with local building permits (as in, get a permit before you install an above ground pool or build a 6 foot high privacy fence). While most of these things are minor, she's had a lot of police interactions. I have not.

However, every time either of us have been with the police, it's been because we WERE breaking the law (even minor things, like speeding a little or broken light). I assume that they are protecting our area and are generally good people. I have never felt like they are actively targeting me. She feels like they are absolutely horrible people who should stay out of other peoples lives. All my interactions with them have been good. I feel like I teach my kids to trust them, to listen to the police. She is the exact opposite. It was such an extreme emotion for her and one I don't understand.

 

(I do think it was odd that he followed us as long as he did before he pulled her over. I have a very good idea of when he caught up to us. He was back there for awhile. We've had a lot of drugs coming into our area from out of state lately AND a rash of break ins-both in town and out in the country. She had out of area tags turning down a road at night that only locals would be using. I understand why the officer pulled her over. And am okay with it)

Can you tell me about how you view the police in your area? do you trust them? why or why not? Do you think it's different in other areas of the country? Do you think YOUR local police respond to YOUR local people differently based on race, gender, or religion? Do your parents hold similar beliefs about the police (as in, did you "inherit" their views?) If your parents have different beliefs about the nature of your local police, what changed that caused your views to be different?

 

[kiana]

Every interaction that I have ever personally had with the police has been positive or neutral. I did have one cuss me out once, but he then did not write a ticket that I fully deserved, so I still class that as positive or neutral. The same goes for everyone else in my family. I had always had a very positive view when I lived in the rural Midwest.

 

But since then I have moved. I have still never personally had any trouble, but I have had friends who have gotten in trouble for completely unjustified things. When I say unjustified, I do not mean things like "they caught me speeding", but rather pulled over and harassed for 30 minutes for having gone through a toll without paying (he had no cash and you have 7 days to pay online), or ticketed for public intoxication because their BAC was over the legal limit and they were standing on the street (waiting for a bus, because they knew that they had had too much to safely drive), and similar things. Most of them were not white. 

 

I am still good friends with some cops and fully believe that a very high percentage of them are decent people who signed up because they wanted to make the world a better place. I mean, one of my friends got called on a child neglect call; got there, found that indeed there was nothing to eat in the house, went and used his money to get them food for tonight while calling someone to help them sign up for services. I have called them for help (car stuck in the middle of the road without gas, too icy to push to the shoulder -- cop not only showed up and helped me get the car out of the road, but then drove me to the gas station, to Walmart to buy a gas can, back to the gas station, back to my car, and waited while I got it started) and I would call them again.

 

But I also believe that they tend to automatically assume another officer was in the right, or even if s/he was in the wrong, close ranks to defend them, and this is not good. I believe that many have biases that they do not realize -- not necessarily about race, but often -- but also about people who speak in a less educated manner, people who wear certain types of clothing, many other things -- and these influence their actions and reactions. 

 

I also believe that many are very, VERY seriously undertrained in non-violent de-escalation techniques and, should things begin to become physical, control techniques that don't rely on dog-piling on top of the person or pulling out a weapon. We need ongoing training in this, with qualified instructors, and frankly we should pay them for their time while they're doing it (up to a certain number of hours per week) because it will make them better cops and safer too. 

[bolt.]

~ Can you tell me about how you view the police in your area? do you trust them? why or why not?

 

I view them as ordinary people with a tough job. I think the job takes a toll on them, and that many of them might be under a kind of chronic strain that might make them more prone to be -- I want to say "reactive" in various ways. I don't think that's a good thing.

 

I also think the job appeals to people who like the idea of "keeping order" -- yes, through community service, but also by means of power and control. I think it connects people that have a cut-and-dried approach to the world with the kind of power and experiences that have the potential to make that worse.

 

I trust them "to a point" -- but I'd rather deal with them in full view, in public spaces, on their best behaviour, when I have done nothing wrong. In other circumstances... maybe not so much trust.

 

~ Do you think it's different in other areas of the country?

 

I don't have an opinion on that. I don't know much about other locations.

 

~ Do you think YOUR local police respond to YOUR local people differently based on race, gender, or religion?

 

Yes. Statistically I don't think any other conclusion is reasonable. Wherever our police members get their biases from, they are certainly acting on them. I'm privileged being a middle aged white woman, but I'm not happy about it.

 

~ Do your parents hold similar beliefs about the police (as in, did you "inherit" their views?)

 

I think my parents views might be more gracious towards police as upholders of all good things... but I haven't asked them. They don't tend to believe in things like systemic racism.

 

~ If your parents have different beliefs about the nature of your local police, what changed that caused your views to be different?

 

I think I am more aware of the mixed nature of humans, and the capacity in all of us to do very wrong things when circumstances take us there. I am also more aware of sociological attributes of our whole society (not just the nice people I know) and have a tendancy to believe data over my one set of direct experiences.

[creekland]

Can you tell me about how you view the police in your area? do you trust them? why or why not? Do you think it's different in other areas of the country? Do you think YOUR local police respond to YOUR local people differently based on race, gender, or religion? Do your parents hold similar beliefs about the police (as in, did you "inherit" their views?) If your parents have different beliefs about the nature of your local police, what changed that caused your views to be different?

 

I love our local police.  Never had a problem.  They've always been understanding.  Yes, I would trust them because I haven't even heard bad stories from reliable people, though those who habitually get in trouble with them have bad words to say (mainly kids at school since those are the folks in my circle who are sometimes crossing that line).

 

My mom shares my thoughts.  My dad thinks everyone (except him) is crooked and out to get people.  I was raised by my dad, but recognized his mental illnesses taking an Abnormal Psych class in college, so rarely share his views about others.  Very, very rarely.

 

In other areas?  I suspect folks get jaded by what they see.  My cousin is a PO in a small city and he has "regulars" they get called about.  He doesn't have good words about them.  He rolls his eyes about their choices.  He's jaded, but not without cause.  They make his life frustrating.  If he were behind a car, ran the plate (as they often do) and found a similar list, I'm sure that would color his opinion even though he's never met that particular person.

 

I'm positive some are racist and jaded that way too, though he isn't (many of his "regulars" are white).  I don't know any personally who are.  I've just heard way too many stories to dismiss that it happens way more than it should based upon race and not record.

[HomeAgain]

Here? Positive.

 

But I've traveled a lot, and there is one state in particular that I have been pulled over every time I've gone through. Going too fast (legit, it's a lot of in and out of small towns), window tint (not legit, they were factory done and according to the state whose license & plates I had). Every reason possible.  The last time, the speed limit jumped up to 45 on a 2 mile stretch before going back down to 30. I missed the sign. I was pulled over and grilled for going too slow and it really left me shaken.

 

I don't believe police are trained well or have a primary mission to protect and serve.  Here it's different.  It's a small, mostly affluent community.  The vibe is very different.

 

[alisoncooks]

Can you tell me about how you view the police in your area? do you trust them? why or why not?

I do because I have no reason not to.  From what I've seen, our small town police dept. has been very proactive in community involvement and outreach events.  There's an overall feel of "your friendly neighborhood policeman" here.  I did get a warning, once, for not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign; the officer was polite.  Do I think that it was petty to pull me for that - yes.  Said intersection was totally clear and in a deserted area; but he was within the law.

 

Do you think it's different in other areas of the country?

Sure.  My town has very low crime stats.  I imagine that, in a location where crime was high (esp. violent crime), the police officers would be more on guard.

 

Do you think YOUR local police respond to YOUR local people differently based on race, gender, or religion?

Don't know.  I've not seen any police interactions that weren't positive... but I'm not a minority, FWIW.

 

Do your parents hold similar beliefs about the police (as in, did you "inherit" their views?) If your parents have different beliefs about the nature of your local police, what changed that caused your views to be different?

I've never heard my parents speak negatively about police officers, other than the passing grumble about quotas and speeding tickets.  My brother was a deputy for several years, as well as a game warden. My cousins were deputies and a state trooper.  My uncles (and dad) were prison guards. My other cousin was 911 operator.  These jobs did not come about until I was grown, so I wasn't raised in this pro-law-enforcement circle, however it's obvious that (as a family) we did not think negatively about jobs in this sector.  

Edited January 26, 2018 by alisoncooks

[bettyandbob]

I don't assume police are just out to harass. I have one negative experience. When I was 17, I was pulled over late at night under the auspices tags were expired. They actually weren't. They were due that month and it was the beginning of the month. He approached me very angry and beat on the window of my parents station wagon with his night stick. He sent me away telling me to make sure the tags were paid in three weeks. It was kind of scary. I've learned you do not have your pull over immediately, but are permitted to proceed to a well lit area or police station if you know where it is. (I forget the details on that in my locality) Anyway, I wasn't speeding and all equipment was working it was just a weird intimidation late at night. That was 35 years ago. Since then I've gotten a few speeding tickets.

 

I am white. I have many friends of color who definitely have reason to mistrust police. Driving while black really does happen. My former boss was a dark skinned Indian man. He married a white woman. Shortly after their marriage he was pulled over and his wife was questioned separate from him, being asked if she was OK or felt unsafe. They were sent on there way with no citations. I know many people who have similar or worse experiences.

 

Your friend sounds messed up. If she does have problems with her vehicle or is reasonably suspicious then she should be pulled over. If she is violating local property laws by poor property upkeep she should expect someone to investigate. That is what police do. My mother in law got several speed camera tickets. She called and told me about it laughing. She said she knew she was speeding and now she was going to stop. She also told me she didn't understand why other people complained. All they needed to do was to stop speeding.

 

Anyway, people who break the law or have equipment issues should expect to see police. Other people should not. And the truth is there is a law abiding segment of our population who has very negative experience with law enforcement.

 

ETA my experiences and those of my friends have all been in the same large, densely populated metropolitan area.

Edited January 26, 2018 by Diana P.

[happypamama]

Our township police force is very nice. We often see the Chief just out cruising around, and he’s very friendly, waves to the kids, etc. I live in an area where people are generally friendly and tend not to hassle each other much, unless they’re actually helping, and the police seem to be the same. Very small town nice guys sort of people. I once got pulled over for going a little too quickly on a back road, and the officer was super nice and let me go with a warning because it was in our township, and he said, “We take care of our own.†I suspect that they know, in our little township, whose cars they’ve seen going the normal speeds most of the time. Now, I have no idea how they treat racial minorities, as I’m not one, and I don’t think there are many in our township. But people here just tend to be nice, so I hope that means the police are too.

[Carol in Cal.]

My personal interactions have been generally positive.

 

I know 4 police officers personally, and 3 are gentle giants, the kind of people who project calm into situations.  The fourth was so paranoid about the dark side of life that his kids were not allowed to go on playdates or field trips without him or his wife along.  However, one of the gentle giants was threatened along with his family, and it was serious enough that the wife and two kids moved into a distant relative's house until things blew over, and his buddies kept a close but subtle eye on that place just in case.  Maybe he became more like the fourth guy after that--I'm really not sure. 

 

How they avoid becoming cynical I don't know.

 

I grew up on the idea that the police officer is your friend and you should let him help you, but not let him search your car or your house.  When I have been pulled over it has been for a real reason, and I haven't always gotten ticketed for it either.

 

But there are definitely places where that is not so, and I entirely believe that some police forces are corrupted culturally, and that there are some bad apples even in good police forces.

The idea that the term 'rough ride' is even a thing in Baltimore gives evidence for that.  So does the death of Freddie Gray.  And of the guy with the concealed carry permit in St. Paul whose name is not coming to me right now.

I thought that the Ferguson case was less clear cut; that that police officer reasonably feared for his life maybe.  But I also read and believe a long article about the way that the police there use ticketing as a revenue source and really harass people economically, if not physically, to the extent that there very presence is feared.

 

[Pawz4me]

 

Can you tell me about how you view the police in your area?

 

Either positively or at worst neutrally. I know enough LEOs to know that they're just like other people -- some good and some bad, most just trying to do the best they can. I've never had a negative experience with a LEO.

 

 

 

do you trust them? why or why not? Do you think it's different in other areas of the country?

 

Yes, I guess I trust them. I have no reason not to (see above about never having had a bad experience and knowing quite a few LEOs). A distant cousin is very high up in our county's sheriff's department. I've heard nothing from him that would make me not trust the department as a whole. I'm sure it's different in other areas. I'm not saying our sheriff's department is absolutely always by-the-book, but there have been plenty of solid, investigative news stories about downright corrupt police/sheriff's departments, so it would be foolish to not acknowledge that some have serious problems.

 

 

 

Do you think YOUR local police respond to YOUR local people differently based on race, gender, or religion?

 

I would certainly assume so. I'm a middle aged, upper middle class white female whose family tree roots run deep in this county, and I'm sure all of those factors insulate me from lots of things. But LEOs are people, and many (most?) people respond differently based on race, gender or religion. I have no reason to think LEOs are different. I would assume most are trained to treat people equally, but I don't know how or if you can really train someone out of inherent biases.

 

 

 

Do your parents hold similar beliefs about the police (as in, did you "inherit" their views?) If your parents have different beliefs about the nature of your local police, what changed that caused your views to be different?

 

My parents are deceased but yes, they held similar views.

Edited January 26, 2018 by Pawz4me

[Chris in VA]

Can you tell me about how you view the police in your area? do you trust them? why or why not? Do you think it's different in other areas of the country? Do you think YOUR local police respond to YOUR local people differently based on race, gender, or religion? Do your parents hold similar beliefs about the police (as in, did you "inherit" their views?) If your parents have different beliefs about the nature of your local police, what changed that caused your views to be different?

 

 

I am a white, middle-aged female. Growing up, my parents held police in high esteem, so I was taught that they are honorable, trustworthy, "community helpers." 

 

Yes, I think there are some bad apples. Some really bad. 

 

I had a relative that was killed by some truly awful people who are in a certain organization. He was a policeman who owed $. It was a really bad situation. It is my impression that his profession in the place he practiced it was rife with corruption. 

This was many years ago. I don't know if it has changed. 

 

This did not color my ideas of the police, however. 

 

As an adult, my son had several police interactions. He has a different view than I do, but it is mostly because he felt powerless and they were an authority, not because there was any abuse of power. I know those police helped save his life, several times. I am only grateful, and I still hold most police in very high esteem. But I absolutely believe people of color often have different experiences, and it makes me very sad and also makes me feel that I wish I had known more about other people's experiences when I was growing up in a very white area of Ohio, because it took a long time for me to learn that my experiences are not everyone's. 

[Χά�ων]

In the rural area near me there are towns who depend on income from tickets for minor infractions from out of towners. They have a quota to make. It is not uncommon or unknown of an issue.

 

My husband works in the city. One night he had a major project going on and worked until 11 or so every night that week. I went to pick him up and parked legally a block away. About the 4th night a cop pulled up behind me no lights and just sat there for the 20 minutes I was waiting. While they were sitting there I noticed three other police cars circling the block, yeah for different types of police cars so it was easy to tell how many there were. My husband finally came out and got in the car and they followed me to the highway.

 

I wanted to get out and tell them the drug deals happen a block and a half southwest of where I was if they were bored and if they had any questions about why a short middle aged white woman was sitting in a legally parked car to ask already so they could get on with doing whatever and I could go back to reading my book on my kindle in peace.

[Aura]

Most of the time, my encounters have been positive. 

 

One time, years ago when I was still a teen, I got pulled over for speeding. I was going 50 in a 35. I missed the speed sign coming into town. Yeah, I deserved a ticket. But my little sis was very indignant that I got a ticket. She specifically said the policeman should not have given me a ticket.  :confused1:  I told her I was speeding. I got what I deserved.

 

 

However, another of my sisters got pulled over for DUI. After the cop had followed her for two miles. Literally. What kind of cop does that? If someone's drunk, get them off the road already! Secondly, she wasn't. There's more to the story, but suffice to say, this dude was on a serious power trip. And the subsequent crap that followed very quickly opened my eyes to some serious biases in our judicial system. 

 

There was another time where local cops had one of their own shot and went too far in trying to find the man who did the shooting. They were taken court later because their treatment of an old woman was just that bad.

 

And the last time I got pulled over, I swear the officer was hitting on me. And I'm not one to pick up on cues, but there really was no other interpretation. I'm still baffled. I'm over 40. I've got 6 kids! Seriously, dude!

 

So, mixed bag, I feel like. My experiences and observations lead me to believe that, overall, the majority are good, decent policemen who work hard and try to do what's right; some are not and are on a power trip (and can literally ruin your life if you encounter them); and as a group, they are downright dangerous if crossed.

[Free Indeed]

When I was a thug teenager I had not so nice interactions with the police. They were out to get my friends and I. I didn't like nor trust them.

Now that I am a law abiding middle age white woman I haven't had any negative interactions.

[Kassia]

In the rural area near me there are towns who depend on income from tickets for minor infractions from out of towners. They have a quota to make. It is not uncommon or unknown of an issue.

 

 

 

This happened to me a few years ago.  I was driving at night in an unfamiliar area and got caught in a well-known speed trap that I knew nothing about.  It was bad enough that I got the ticket, but the officer made me feel like I was a menace to society because of my speeding.  It was such an awful experience.  

 

That being said, I think there are great officers and terrible ones.  I always assume they are good, though.  I have a friend who is a public defender and she hates them because she's dealt with so many dishonest ones.  I do hate speed traps. 

[regentrude]

I live in a small town (20k) and feel I can trust local police.

 

I have not had negative interactions with local police. I got a speeding ticket once 16 years ago, but the officer was friendly. I went to the station once to ask for advice about an issue, and was treated in a friendly manner.

My teenage son got pulled over as a new driver because he had forgotten to turn the headlights on; the cop gave him a friendly warning. He got stopped again a few weeks later when he had accidentally flashed his lights; the cop stopped him to inquire whether he's in trouble and was trying to signal him.

His interactions with police after a minor accident were also positive.

 

ETA: I did not inherit my parents' views nor keep my childhood views. I grew up in a totalitarian state where police were the enemy. 

 

 

Edited January 26, 2018 by regentrude

[Scarlett]

White middle class female here....my experience with police has been almost 100% positive. 

[eternalsummer]

All were polite and non-aggressive, but as many have said, I'm not a threatening demographic, statistically.  Some were brighter than others. 

[Scarlett]

My 17year old was ticketed last summer and he absolutely deserved it. Last night  dss16 was pulled over and warned about too loud of mufflers.  

[G5052]

All positive here, both when I got a ticket and when we called them. In 2017, they were called for a major family crises, and the two young deputies who handled it were complete professionals and gentlemen. I couldn't say enough about how wonderful they were.

 

I live in a racially and economically mixed area, and they are generally respected.

 

Some years back a man with mental health issues holed up in a house with an arsenal and began shooting at the police when a family member requested that they check on him. They spend hours and hours overnight trying to negotiate with him. Finally he came out shooting, and sadly a sniper took him out. I didn't blame them. He was on a major road near stores where people where going to work and school. I think they did what they had to do. Some really complained about police brutality, but they made a judgment call based on the potential for him to shoot people not involved in the standoff.

 

I can see that different areas of the country may view this differently, but I feel positive towards them.

[Garga]

Nm—I need to amend what I wrote and don’t have time! So...nm.

Edited January 26, 2018 by Garga

[gardenmom5]

 

 

 

Can you tell me about how you view the police in your area? do you trust them? why or why not? Do you think it's different in other areas of the country? Do you think YOUR local police respond to YOUR local people differently based on race, gender, or religion? Do your parents hold similar beliefs about the police (as in, did you "inherit" their views?) If your parents have different beliefs about the nature of your local police, what changed that caused your views to be different?

 

I've had encounters with the police.   generally as the victim of robbery or assault. Or reporting an accident.  I've been pulled over twice in my life I can remember.  (once, I was driving slowly and probably not that straight - on a mt road.  at night.  in the fog.  as a brand new licensed driver.)

 

my brother had a grow operation, and dealt drugs - years ago.  my mother was defensive of him, even with his one major run-in with the police.  (when the officer made the mistake of thinking he was the buyer instead of the dealer and let him go.)

when i was robbed at high school - I reported the theft as they had my address and my keys.  they were going to do drive-bys.  when my brother found out - he pounded on me - because he was dealing drugs out of our house.

my sister was arrested for shoplifting.  when i was five - I was with my mother when she was arrested for shoplifting.  apparently something she had a long history of doing.  (even as a child, I thought she had a lot of chutzpuh being mad at my sister for being arrested.)

so - that's my background.

 

I generally trust the police here, but I also generally obey the law  (I admit, I speed sometimes.) - though there are certain neighborhoods i wouldn't be surprised if there are profiling going on.  I don't think my views are the same as my mother's.   my son and his friend were trick or treating *near* that neighborhood years ago and were stopped and questioned. (it was after 9pm.)  they were allowed to go, as they really were just trick or treating.   I also understand why they were questioned, and I don't consider it "personal" - but where they were and at what time.

[Melissa B]

 

 

Now we have a shortage of police here. I once saw a dangerous situation where a car was stopped and in the road. It looked abandoned. I went to the police station and knocked on the door. No one answered. I knocked a few times, then went to the post office nearby. I came outside of the post office and saw an officer (not even sure what the right word is. The locals didn't go to police academy. Only our campus police have. That was a huge shocker for me) pull up and told him about the car situation. It really bothered me that several minutes had passed before someone was available to talk to. What if I was running from an armed person?! And the bank across the street from our police station has been robbed a couple times. How does this stuff happen?! 

 

This is something interesting I didn't learn until I started working in public safety. Unlike on TV, most stations (and all of the stations in our area) no longer have any officers/deputies actually on duty at the stations. Sometimes they stop by to turn in paperwork, attend a meeting, etc. But for the most part all on-duty officers are out in their cars. If they are needed back at the station they must be dispatched there. So any time anything happens, running from an armed person, bank robbery, etc. call 9-1-1; they are the ones that must dispatch the officers to the location.

[Tanaqui]

America has one of the highest rates of police shootings in the world. Actually, it might be THE highest - I'd have to check. We have a fairly high rate of police brutality, we have high levels of known corruption and harassment and assault that somehow never gets handled. Add this to a tacit policy of making up budget shortfalls with ticketing and "civil asset forfeiture" and it's a mess.

 

Any individual cop might be a good person, but in a sick system, even the good guys can get caught up. And the entire system is corrupt.

 

I've had positive interactions with the police. And I've had negative ones. We once had cops sent to our house after we called paramedics for my grandmother (I can only imagine that the dispatcher was bored, because we got two sets of cops for this), and when I suggested it was easier to walk around the back rather than climb up two flights of stairs just to go down to the basement to talk to one old woman, they tried to bully their way into my house, like any thug. To which I said - no warrant, no entrance. Period. And they were still fuming about it when I shut the door and went to meet my grandmother. And honestly, my original suggestion had simply been to save them effort, but they had no call to try to threaten me over what is, really, my right to privacy in my home. They were just trying to throw their weight around for funzies.

 

I've also personally witnessed cops hassling people for breaking laws that either aren't even on the books or don't apply - like jaywalking when a cursory study of the materials (and I've done this research) shows that they were crossing legally or not having an ID on them which, no, isn't the law and we've had Supreme Court cases over this. (And making a much bigger deal out of these issues than, really, would be justified if these people had been breaking the law.) And I was there right after Eric Garner was killed, with the cops and the EMTs, and the crowd standing and watching.

 

I look at the OP's story. From here, it sounds frightening. Somebody followed you off the busy road and onto a quiet one? And stopped you THERE? Where you were mostly isolated? To me, this is scary! It doesn't matter whether that guy has a badge or not, this is how all the scary movies start - a deserted road, a stranger approaching, and then - well, you know how it goes. I would be pretty shaken! And then he interrogated her about her itinerary? In front of her child? Over, what, a minor problem with her car? Whether she's local or not, surely she has a right to drive on the public roads? I would be upset too! With your context it makes more sense, but it's still scary. After that experience, I wouldn't be in any mood to be reasonable on the subject of drug trafficking.

 

I feel like I teach my kids to trust them, to listen to the police.

 

I've taught my kids not to let the cops search them, their house, their car, or their bag without a warrant (and to ask to see that warrant to confirm it says what they claim); not to answer any formal questioning without a lawyer (and, as minors, us); and to never, ever, ever confess to a crime they didn't commit, even if the cops swear they won't get in any trouble, because cops are allowed to lie. (You'd be amazed how many minors are locked up because the cops said they could go home if they just signed this little confession note...) Also to be polite in any interactions with the cops, even while memorizing their name and badge number just in case.

 

I'd like to think that we can trust everybody. But we can't. And even if we could trust the cops 99% of the time, that last 1% is a doozy.

[Tanaqui]

I'll add that my views are somewhat colored by the fact that my kids are black and I have a non-visible disability (autism), which puts us all at a higher risk of police harassment and/or shootings.

[Bootsie]

I have had positive interactions with police where I live now.  And, I have only heard of others having positive interactions with them.

 

In a previous location, however, that was not the case.  They seemed particularly biased against young people and outsiders.  There was one college student killed by a cop, after the student was stopped for DUI.  Somehow the officer's cam was not working at that point in time.  I personally knew two other instances where people were stopped and felt that the officer was abusive; in both cases the tape of the incident was "accidentally erased."  

 

The OP mentions that the friend was stopped because of a license plate light being out.  I have mixed feelings about the officer asking her questions of "where are you going?' and "where are you coming from?"   Those things really have nothing to do with the violation in question.  I do not like a license plate light being out being used as reasonable cause to suspect illegal activity and result in the driver having divulge private information to the officer.     

[Tsuga]

Did not read the thread.

 

I am a woman of color living in a predominantly white and Asian area. My personal experiences with the Seattle and suburban police have been 100% positive. As in, "how can I help you file this report", "are you looking for someplace?" "I understand you are busy but we are all very busy, I'm also a working mom and I got my tabs in, so I'm going to have to write this fine" (the empathy mattered...). And so on.

 

My father says he feels that cops are biased against him. He is over 6 feet. I am 5'5" or so.

 

My sister has had negative experiences with small town cops stopping the car for a taillight that was out. When they got home--the light wasn't out. :/ She looks whiter than me and the person driving was as white as white gets and well known in the very small town, family lived in town, no connection to anyone of ill repute. Just "power hungry cops". But then, she's married to a cop!

 

What makes the issue incredibly personal to me is that my main need for the cops was as a victim of potential domestic violence. And yet! And yet!

 

My sister-in-law, a white woman in a white city, saw her mother shot by her father, a cop.

 

:mellow:

 

So, I treat cops like humans, knowing that they are in an extremely difficult situation and that the profession attracts narcissists and gun-lovers like nursing attracts people who are codependent. I am still grateful for those who serve.

 

Edited January 26, 2018 by Tsuga

[RootAnn]

I live in a small town (3k) in farm country. It got too small to have a police force & a county sheriff, so now we only have the county sheriff & deputies. They are neighbors. I've had several interactions and always feel like they give me, a local, the benefit of the doubt. There are definitely speed traps and look-outs for out of town license plates to pull over. You can tell from the "docket" that is printed in the local (weekly) county newspaper - most tickets are issued to out of town and out of state people.

 

I've had interactions that weren't as positive with other law enforcement in other states. I am sure there are some "bad apples" out there. I know others in our area who have had "power trip" encounters with their local law enforcement.

 

I assume my parent's feelings were mixed as a really clear impression was never imparted on me.

[ThisIsTheDay]

 

Can you tell me about how you view the police in your area? do you trust them? why or why not? Do you think it's different in other areas of the country? Do you think YOUR local police respond to YOUR local people differently based on race, gender, or religion? Do your parents hold similar beliefs about the police (as in, did you "inherit" their views?) If your parents have different beliefs about the nature of your local police, what changed that caused your views to be different?

 

Many police in my area are straight out of Dukes of Hazzard. It truly grieves me that I have little respect for them. The majority are obese and could never catch a bad guy, much less pass any physical test. They drive around with phones glued to their ears. It's so rare to see one without a phone that we comment when it happens. They looooove speed traps and sit in the same places day after day. It's clearly nothing work. No trust.

 

-10 years ago, one county sheriff was sentenced to federal prison for lying to investigators and covering up corruption in his department.

-A neighboring jurisdiction had several different incidents with their sheriff. Knowing that one of his deputies was in a marked patrol car, driving to kill his ex-wife, the sheriff refused to issue a BOLO in order to protect him. As a direct result, the woman was killed in a public spot (in front of their daughter), and while attempting to escape, another officer was shot. Many other things came to light about the sheriff, including allowing his teenaged daughter to drive a police car during a pursuit, paying her for full time employment although she was in college in another state, and more. The sheriff was convicted of misconduct in office.

-There were several other police chiefs within ~100 miles over the past few years arrested for drug distribution charges, breaking into a pharmacy, etc.

 

And then there was the one who pulled me over, telling me that flashing my lights at oncoming cars to warn of a speed trap was illegal. It's not, and I knew it at the time. I asked for the code, and he refused to give it to me--because it did not exist.

 

My husband was pulled over 4-5 times supposedly to check if his window tinting was too dark. It never was. He just drove an older pickup, and it was an excuse to pull him over.

 

I'm sure they aren't all corrupt, but these ones I've listed sure leave everything to be desired.  There is just one agency here that I do have respect for--which really says something in my location.

 

 

ON THE FLIP SIDE:

 

In another state, I worked closely with law enforcement for 6 years. I LOVED the cops we knew. They were professional, and they were GREAT at what they did. I was always surprised I didn't marry one. I had a ton of respect for the garbage they saw in their jobs, and the way they did their work. I trusted them very much, I would've done anything for them.

 

It bothers me terribly that my kids have grown up seeing cops as lazy and not to be trusted.

 

 

[Aura]

America has one of the highest rates of police shootings in the world. Actually, it might be THE highest - I'd have to check. We have a fairly high rate of police brutality, we have high levels of known corruption and harassment and assault that somehow never gets handled. Add this to a tacit policy of making up budget shortfalls with ticketing and "civil asset forfeiture" and it's a mess.

 

Any individual cop might be a good person, but in a sick system, even the good guys can get caught up. And the entire system is corrupt.

 

I've had positive interactions with the police. And I've had negative ones. We once had cops sent to our house after we called paramedics for my grandmother (I can only imagine that the dispatcher was bored, because we got two sets of cops for this), and when I suggested it was easier to walk around the back rather than climb up two flights of stairs just to go down to the basement to talk to one old woman, they tried to bully their way into my house, like any thug. To which I said - no warrant, no entrance. Period. And they were still fuming about it when I shut the door and went to meet my grandmother. And honestly, my original suggestion had simply been to save them effort, but they had no call to try to threaten me over what is, really, my right to privacy in my home. They were just trying to throw their weight around for funzies.

 

I've also personally witnessed cops hassling people for breaking laws that either aren't even on the books or don't apply - like jaywalking when a cursory study of the materials (and I've done this research) shows that they were crossing legally or not having an ID on them which, no, isn't the law and we've had Supreme Court cases over this. (And making a much bigger deal out of these issues than, really, would be justified if these people had been breaking the law.) And I was there right after Eric Garner was killed, with the cops and the EMTs, and the crowd standing and watching.

 

I look at the OP's story. From here, it sounds frightening. Somebody followed you off the busy road and onto a quiet one? And stopped you THERE? Where you were mostly isolated? To me, this is scary! It doesn't matter whether that guy has a badge or not, this is how all the scary movies start - a deserted road, a stranger approaching, and then - well, you know how it goes. I would be pretty shaken! And then he interrogated her about her itinerary? In front of her child? Over, what, a minor problem with her car? Whether she's local or not, surely she has a right to drive on the public roads? I would be upset too! With your context it makes more sense, but it's still scary. After that experience, I wouldn't be in any mood to be reasonable on the subject of drug trafficking.

 

 

I've taught my kids not to let the cops search them, their house, their car, or their bag without a warrant (and to ask to see that warrant to confirm it says what they claim); not to answer any formal questioning without a lawyer (and, as minors, us); and to never, ever, ever confess to a crime they didn't commit, even if the cops swear they won't get in any trouble, because cops are allowed to lie. (You'd be amazed how many minors are locked up because the cops said they could go home if they just signed this little confession note...) Also to be polite in any interactions with the cops, even while memorizing their name and badge number just in case.

 

I'd like to think that we can trust everybody. But we can't. And even if we could trust the cops 99% of the time, that last 1% is a doozy.

 

Yes, particularly to the bolded!

[Paige]

I generally trust police officers. I have family members who are officers and I believe they are honest ones.

 

I still feel incredibly nervous around them. If I see one while driving, I do my best to discretely get out of their line of sight. I've had one unpleasant experience with a cop on a power trip and it was enough to make me forever cautious. The power difference between me and them is too much for me to feel comfortable. They don't have to abuse their power- just knowing it's there and knowing I am 100% at their mercy makes me want to avoid interacting with them in a professional capacity if I can. 

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

 

 

Any individual cop might be a good person, but in a sick system, even the good guys can get caught up. And the entire system is corrupt.

 

I've taught my kids not to let the cops search them, their house, their car, or their bag without a warrant (and to ask to see that warrant to confirm it says what they claim); not to answer any formal questioning without a lawyer (and, as minors, us); and to never, ever, ever confess to a crime they didn't commit, even if the cops swear they won't get in any trouble, because cops are allowed to lie. (You'd be amazed how many minors are locked up because the cops said they could go home if they just signed this little confession note...) Also to be polite in any interactions with the cops, even while memorizing their name and badge number just in case.

 

I'd like to think that we can trust everybody. But we can't. And even if we could trust the cops 99% of the time, that last 1% is a doozy.

 

 

This.

 

I have had positive and negative interactions. 

 

My parents had a mostly positive view of police. 

[Laura Corin]

As a white, middle class, living-as-straight person, I have been given no reason personally to distrust the police.  I've spoken to police officers maybe five times in my life, including my one traffic detention in California for a rolling stop.  If my background had been different, I might give a different answer.

[mellifera33]

I have had positive and negative experiences with the police. I view them as a last resort. I would never call for a minor complaint--noise, dog running loose, vandalism (unless required for an insurance claim), etc. Actually, I had the police at my door once when my fence was tagged, telling me that unless I cleaned it up within a certain amount of time, I'd be fined. My parents, on the other hand, had a very positive experience with the police in my old neighborhood, after "breaking into" my house and setting off the alarm. They laughed and joked together. I don't know. I'm kind of a jumpy person in general, and that tends to make police officers nervous, and I think that we feed off each others nervousness? I am in an area that has had a lot of recent well-publicized murders of officers, so I understand why they tend toward being nervous, but I don't think that it is beneficial for anyone. Law enforcement requires a certain rock-steady type of personality, and I don't think it can be trained into somebody who isn't naturally that way. 

[vonfirmath]

 

(I do think it was odd that he followed us as long as he did before he pulled her over. I have a very good idea of when he caught up to us. He was back there for awhile. We've had a lot of drugs coming into our area from out of state lately AND a rash of break ins-both in town and out in the country. She had out of area tags turning down a road at night that only locals would be using. I understand why the officer pulled her over. And am okay with it)

Can you tell me about how you view the police in your area? do you trust them? why or why not? Do you think it's different in other areas of the country? Do you think YOUR local police respond to YOUR local people differently based on race, gender, or religion? Do your parents hold similar beliefs about the police (as in, did you "inherit" their views?) If your parents have different beliefs about the nature of your local police, what changed that caused your views to be different?

Maybe he was running her tags before he pulled her over? To see if there were any warrants, etc.

[Word Nerd]

I have had positive and negative experiences with the police. I view them as a last resort. I would never call for a minor complaint--noise, dog running loose, vandalism (unless required for an insurance claim), etc. 

 

I've had mostly positive experiences but still view them as a last resort for help. 

[Loowit]

DH is a commissioned LEO and I like him well enough.  It is not, however, his full time profession.  I also have a lot of LEO in my family; my brother, BIL, FIL (retired Sheriff), etc.  I think that they all do a good job and truly care about making a difference.

 

I grew up with the idea that the police were there to help us and my parents were very positive about law enforcement in general.  But like all professions you have some bad eggs.  The only people I knew who didn't like law enforcement were people who tended to break the law and didn't like getting caught.  As an adult I can see that there are bad law enforcement officers out there, and there are people who have unfortunately had very bad experiences with them through no fault of their own.  However, I still believe that, at least in my area, the majority are good and caring men and women who are in the profession to help others.

 

As far as following someone for a while before pulling them over, I have been told that sometimes they are running plates before pulling them over.  Knowing ahead of time that a car has someone with warrants or something is a good idea for the safety of the officer.

[Happy2BaMom]

I personally have had 98% positive or neutral, and overall I think there are more 'good' LEOs than 'bad'. And they do have an incredibly tough job, and I don't know how they do it. 

 

That being said, I also understand there is a different reality out there. The 2% occurred when I was dating a guy (this was 20 years ago) who owned a nice Porshe. Said boyfriend also had a black male friend (BMF). BMF & I would sometimes ride together (he would drive) to go pick up BF, who worked in major downtown area. I liked to play music loud & lay the passenger seat back (that way no one could see me lip sync & dance-move). Every single time BMF drove, with me half-laying down, he would be targeted by police. Every. Single. Time. By 'targeted' I mean that a police car would pull in right behind, maybe - maybe - 12" off of the rear bumper, and follow him incessantly, sometimes for 15 or 20 minutes. If BMF changed lanes, police car would, too. And then back again. Never more than a foot off the bumper. It. Was. Creepy. and infuriating. They never pulled him over. Just harassed him. I, of course, would be White Girl incensed, "they can't do that! You have to call someone!" He would just look at me, with a mixture of pity, disgust, and perhaps awe that someone could be that stupid, and say, "Girl, come live in the real world."

 

Secondly, I have a cousin in a mid-sized city who is a lawyer. A conservative life-long Catholic Republican, white, staid, but who has a solid sense of fairness. Said cousin worked in DA's office during law school. Learned to strongly dislike cops, and, 20 years later, still holds the same opinion. Says he personally witnessed way too much manufacturing of evidence, roughing up suspects (or others) because they could get away with it, changing the story of what happened after the fact, etc. He's bitter about it to this day and is convinced that too many people are attracted to the power of being an LEO without having a sufficient conscience (as he would say). 

 

So, in the 2% of my experiences, I know there is a different reality out there for certain types of people. 

[Sneezyone]

My personal experiences have been mostly neutral but not so with my family members. My dad and other relatives have had a few too many close encounters with jumpy/aggressive LEOs to trust them or call them in anything other than desperation. One of my cousins was held on mistaken ID (they trumped up a traffic charge that was later dropped) for two weeks (long enough to lose his job) before he was released. A step-sisters' husband was shot and killed by an LEO. The settlement wasn't nearly enough to help her raise her son and twins long-term. Guess where the boy ended up? He's still there.  I can't say that these views are inherited. I see them as informed.

 

A GF of mine started out as prosecuting attorney in LA and her experience converted her to the Public Defender's office. She's been there ever since. Her stories of manufactured evidence, falsified reports, roughed up suspects, etc. are mind-blowing. There's was a huge, illegal entrapment/jail-house snitch program in SoCal just a few years back that lasted for the better part of a decade that ensnared prosecutors and LEOs alike. I've seen/heard to much to believe in the general goodness of LEOs. I cannot be convinced that LEO behavior among friends and family is an effective proxy for their behavior on the job either. I think it's the interactions with people that you're NOT familiar and comfortable with that really show your true character/fitness for LEO work.

Edited January 26, 2018 by Sneezyone

[kiwik]

NZ only has one police force and one police training school so we have more consistency than most. I have only had one bad experience (I was ticketed for not wearing a seatbelt when I was- I took it to court and won. It was very time consuming and a hassle with young kids but I didn't have the money and I think the police need to know when they are wrong). I do think it was a genuine mistake on his part though. Friends with domestic violence interactions have had a more mixed experience but none downright terrible just not good.