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The Hundred Dresses book....


nixpix5
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I have a question and need to think this through...

 

My 8 year old daughter, who is in 2nd grade, has been working through the VP More Favorites guide. She is reading The Hundred Dresses currently. She cannot get through a chapter without tears streaming down her face. It is emotionally hard for her. She reads Harry Potter and other books with characters who bully but has never been this bothered. I am torn. I think it is good for children to experience emotion through lit. This means it is well written! She is being forced to consider the difficult position of the characters and what they wrestle with. However, it is difficult to see her so pained. This morning she sobbed. She has asked not to be taken off of the book. Thoughts? Should I honor her request and let her power through or should I read it to her? Maybe skip it altogether? I know what I am leaning towards but I want to see how others would handle this so I can receive some wise counsel. ;)

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Of she wants to read it, I’d let her. If she was asking to stop, I’d let her. 

 

We just did this one for my daughter’s  (same age, 3rd grade) book club. We had a fantastic discussion afterwards. So I’d also talk to her and discuss with her. 

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If she wants to keep going I would read it with her.  That way you can share the emotional load.  Especially since the bullies learn their lesson, eventually (if it didn't resolve itself positively I would just skip the book).

 

 

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This is not one of my favorite books.

 

If she asked to be let off, I would in a heartbeat, but I would keep it on the bookshelf and encourage her to finish it when she was ready.  IMO, it is one of those books that is more of a reflection journey than offering much to a child who just hasn't reached the maturity level yet.  I feel the same about many Patricia Polacco books, too.  If necessary, I'd substitute something different: Each Kindness, Molly's Pilgrim, The Invisible Boy.

 

 

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I think it's healthy to cry, and crying about a fictional character's suffering is pretty much the best way to develop empathy and character without having to undergo trauma oneself.

 

I actually can't read some books aloud to my kids without my voice wobbling and breaking down-- some things are really, really sad! It's normal and healthy to be able to experience and express sadness.

 

And why not do it when you're young enough to still get hugs and cuddles offers of tissues from a caring parent?

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I would honor her request to finish the book.  Otherwise she will always wonder how it ended and never get closure.

 

There is a reason we have books about that topic.  It is very worth discussing at home before she encounters the real thing away from home.

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If she was asking to stop reading it, I’d let her stop. Yesterday my ds12 asked to stop reading a sad book and I let him.

 

She’s asking to finish it, though. I’d let her finish it. I’d ask her if she wants to read it alone, or if she would like to read it out loud together. I’d probably encourage her to read it together rather than alone, but I’d let her decide in the end.

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I’ll be the odd one out. If my daughter couldn’t ever read it without totally sobbing I think I would conclude that she was not emotionally ready for it. I might just give her a summary of the rest of the story and have a discussion. I don’t know, it is hard to say for sure. I read the book as an adult and whenever I see or hear the title it still makes me feel awful. Not that it wasn’t a good book with important lessons ... but ugh.

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I have a question and need to think this through...

 

My 8 year old daughter, who is in 2nd grade, has been working through the VP More Favorites guide. She is reading The Hundred Dresses currently. She cannot get through a chapter without tears streaming down her face. It is emotionally hard for her. She reads Harry Potter and other books with characters who bully but has never been this bothered. I am torn. I think it is good for children to experience emotion through lit. This means it is well written! She is being forced to consider the difficult position of the characters and what they wrestle with. However, it is difficult to see her so pained. This morning she sobbed. She has asked not to be taken off of the book. Thoughts? Should I honor her request and let her power through or should I read it to her? Maybe skip it altogether? I know what I am leaning towards but I want to see how others would handle this so I can receive some wise counsel. ;)

 

I would absolutely let her finish. Since she's asking not to be taken off the book, I actually think it would be more painful for her to stop in the middle and not see how the book resolves--and it really is thought-provoking. Bless her heart! I suspect that it affects her more deeply because Harry Potter is "obviously" fiction, while The Hundred Dresses is more like a story that could "really happen." 

 

When I was 8, I saw a real life version of that story play out in my 3rd grade classroom. I was like the girl in 100 Dresses who knew she should stand up for the girl but was afraid to, and it profoundly affected me for the rest of my life. 8 is absolutely not too young to experience this or even to know it goes on all around. Your daughter probably has already seen hints of such behavior if not flat out experienced it in one way or another. Books like this can give children courage to make positive choices in how they treat others--and it encourages them to see people with more compassion.

 

As for tears--I'm not afraid of tears, and I actually think it's healthy. But then, I'm one who would read a book like Little Women over and over, knowing I would sob every time when Beth died. I think books like this actually help us process strong emotions. It's not like we don't have the emotions anyway--avoiding emotional books doesn't keep them away. The books just give us an avenue for learning from them and learning not to be afraid of them when they come.

 

I know that doesn't make it easier on you as mom though!

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Gah! You all are so amazing! I feel similarly. I want to let her finish it and I believe literature makes a wonderful inoculation to deal life pain. The experience is safe and can be worked through. I have been sitting with her and discussing it. I wanted to check in because I have heard parents say they don't like their children reading sad things and I often question if I am being thoughtless or unkind in wanting my children to experience a bit of this now to grow them in resilience and grit. Thank you all for your wisdom and insight. I never read this one as a child and my daughter is a kind spirit who does not understand people being cruel. It is Maddie she is most frustrated with, not Peggy. She says Peggy is a bit clueless but Maddie knows better and needs to stand up even in the face of being a potential target. She is really taking this book seriously. I saw a bit of this in her when we read about the lost boys of Sudan last year. She blatantly told me to never read her such a sad book again (Brothers in Hope) but this felt different. Thank you everyone!

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I’ll be the odd one out. If my daughter couldn’t ever read it without totally sobbing I think I would conclude that she was not emotionally ready for it. I might just give her a summary of the rest of the story and have a discussion. I don’t know, it is hard to say for sure. I read the book as an adult and whenever I see or hear the title it still makes me feel awful. Not that it wasn’t a good book with important lessons ... but ugh.

Blue plaid I hear this as well. I was a tough kid emotionally and while I would identify and feel sad, I was never taken out emotionally by a book. She is more like my DH which is why it is good for me to hear this side too. Her tenderness and justice minded stance needs to be considered as well. Thanks for being brave ;)

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I appreciate this thread. The Hundred Dresses came in the Sonlight Core A (kindy core) I have and after reading this thread there's no way I'm reading this to a 5 & 6 year old this year! Wow. I thought some of the books seemed a little much, but thought maybe it's because my kids simply angle more towards picture books still. But wow. Not having read this book I'm going to shelve it another year or two after reading this. Sounds a bit intense for K/1. 

 

FWIW, I read Hundred Dresses to my six year old son (as part of Core A) and he was fine.  No tears.  He understood that one of characters  was bullied, understood that another character was sad. He has some empathy. He got the message of the book, and did not come unglued in the process.   And he's the third five or six year old I've read this book too. Honestly, the book gets ME more upset than any of my kids.  :)  

 

I'm not saying you MUST use it.  I'm also not saying run away from it. 

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I routinely sob through books. Even ones I have read before. More than once I have been reading a book aloud (that I have read before)  and had to give it to a student to finish. The Hundred Dresses book is so good! I remember reading it when I was a kid; it always stuck with me. Love it, but I love a good cry. 

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FWIW, I read Hundred Dresses to my six year old son (as part of Core A) and he was fine.  No tears.  He understood that one of characters  was bullied, understood that another character was sad. He has some empathy. He got the message of the book, and did not come unglued in the process.   And he's the third five or six year old I've read this book too. Honestly, the book gets ME more upset than any of my kids.  :)  

 

I'm not saying you MUST use it.  I'm also not saying run away from it.

 

He might be too young to understand it fully. Or not. But as you said sometimes the adult is the one getting more upset because the adult understands the actual pain the characters are feeling or has felt that pain in real life at some point and the book brings it back out. A very young child won’t always be able to imagine it as well as an older one, or won’t have any frame of reference to remember a previous pain.

 

It’s not a bad thing, but maybe the OPs child feels the story more than a 6 yo because she’s a little older.

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I appreciate this thread. The Hundred Dresses came in the Sonlight Core A (kindy core) I have and after reading this thread there's no way I'm reading this to a 5 & 6 year old this year! Wow. I thought some of the books seemed a little much, but thought maybe it's because my kids simply angle more towards picture books still. But wow. Not having read this book I'm going to shelve it another year or two after reading this. Sounds a bit intense for K/1. 

 

Sonlight recommends their cores for an age range, and you may want to edge towards the upper end of the range (maybe when they are 6 & 7--Sonlight A is recommended for 5-7 year-olds). I think you'll find that Sonlight tends to "push the envelope" a bit like this throughout the cores (this won't be the last book you question), and you may be happier dropping down a level or so. PreK has more picture books (and my kids loved those books until they were 8 & 10, LOL! We re-read them a lot!)

 

That said, neither of my kids had big issues with The Hundred Dresses either. My kids are 2 years apart, and I combined so that they'd both be in the suggested age ranges. I found the levels were "just right" for my oldest and sometimes a stretch for my youngest. I typically felt there were a couple of books each year that I questioned whether I should do them--and I almost always found they worked out well. We enjoyed so many Sonlight books! Enjoy read-aloud time!

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I think I’m going to read it first. They both cried during Capyboppy yesterday when he had to sleep outside and then again towards the end. There were tears. I’ll definitely be pre-reading this one. :)

Sounds like we have similar kids. My DD also teared up at Capybobby. Then again, Bill Peet books tend to move all 3 of my children in so many ways. I have been reading them his biography which is just incredible. Even that has caused them to tear up.

 

I love that my children are tender and others focused. Teary eyes and a touched heart is a beautiful thing. I was just concerned about the full body sobs. So far I find The Hundred Dresses to be a really well written book.

 

We have chatted a great deal about the power of an author's words and how character building in such a realistic way causes us to perspective take and share emotions with characters. Yesterday we did some grammar with it, dissecting some beautiful sentences to understand how the author uses those words carefully. This was helpful for her. She came away from it feeling emotional yes, but also being amazed at that writing capability. Last night she was writing a story for fun and practicing some of the elements she saw when we took a deep look.

 

So, I think we are pressing on. I do want to add that my two 6 year olds have overheard us reading it and while they think it is sad, neither has had any big reactions. They have understood it and liked it.

 

Just checking in on this...next she reads "Owls in the Family" anything I should know about that one?

Edited by nixpix5
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I think it is awesome that she FEELS when she reads.

 

My kids laugh at me.  I cry near the end of every. stinkin'. read aloud.  They think I am a nut.  But 2 of my kids are the same way.

 

I read 100 Dresses aloud.  It is a great book  I have read it so many times and I cry every time.:)

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That’s good to know on the SL. I used G&H with oldest when we first started homeschooling and they were both great as far as history and Lit. I ordered PK4 and A back then. (Because I was overly excited!) I don’t use the plans these days but I do have all the books. I feel like my little ones have taken longer to get into chapter books- so we’ve just been getting into some of the A level books this year.

 

Yeah, I never really felt like the youngest cores needed plans. And then by the time I got to E, I was using the plans less and less, eventually just looking at the one-page yearly plan instead of the daily one! From there I went "Sonlight Eclectic" and kind of made my own 1-page yearly plan, which worked well for me. I just liked having some great books chosen for me ahead of time, and then sometimes I switched a few if I heard of other books I wanted to do. 

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I had never read this book, but after reading this thread I downloaded the ebook from my library and read it aloud within two days to my 6 and 7 year old boys.

 

I don't think my 6 year old really got it, but my 7 year old surely did. He's a sensitive kid who has been bullied, and unfortunately has started being a bit mean to his younger brother - which is why I wanted to read it to him.

 

We talked about how Maddie felt badly and really wanted to make up for her behavior, but worried that she'd never get a chance to make it right. I think this is an excellent book for teaching a child both empathy and to speak up!

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When he starts following the dog’s footprints at the end of the book - just stop there.

Oh no haha. Maybe I will read it ahead of time.

 

I have laughed to myself a bit over this thread because it reminds me of that scene in "Friends" when Phoebe isn't aware Ole' Yeller dies because her mom always stopped the movie before the end :)

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Oh no haha. Maybe I will read it ahead of time.

 

I have laughed to myself a bit over this thread because it reminds me of that scene in "Friends" when Phoebe isn't aware Ole' Yeller dies because her mom always stopped the movie before the end :)

 

Oh, you should have seen the year we did Learning Adventures here!  The third volume scheduled some great books that went along with regions of the U.S: Strawberry Girl, Streams To The River...and then we got to Ole' Yeller.  I had no idea that my ds wasn't familiar with the story!  :huh:  He bounced quite happily through the book until about the end of chapter 15, and then.... :scared:  :crying:

 

The poor kid! :o Definitely not one of our finer moments in our house.

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