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Reluctant & disruptive co-op students


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I got involved in a very small co-op this year (about 10 families), and this is our third term. Last term I taught a hands-on science class, and while attendance was really sporadic (out of 8 kids enrolled, we usually had 4 show up), the kids were happy to participate. 

 

Anyway, I am teaching a literature class that is heavy on story elements, figurative language, literary analysis, plus puzzles and art history .... I had so much fun planning out this really cool class! Our first class was Friday, and I left it feeling kinda disappointed. Out of the 9 kids, 8 showed up. Two were eager to be there and on task (yay, my son was one of them!). Two kids were very ADD/impulsive and kept needing to be reigned in, but did participate enthusiastically. Two brothers were apathetic but kinda went along with it, except they kept kicking each other under the table and talking. One kid was an outright stinker and kept trying to take apart his notebook (and I kept stopping him) and he kept muttering that he was bored, he didn't want to be there, etc. He didn't participate and just worked on marking up his notebook. And then I thought the oldest kid (13) was into the class and thanked his mom for his participation, and she said he told her that it was torture. Ouch

 

It's not a problem with the class. It was objectively appropriate and fun. I had kids reading aloud, making up stories, acting out scenes (volunteers only), relating events to their lives ... the content was fine. This was a case of a few kids who either didn't want to be in a classroom setting, or who already decided that they didn't want to do a literature class and didn't have an open mind. 

 

I had a helper (bless her!) who moved to sit next to the stinker and kept trying to get him to cooperate. At least twice she told the kids that they were being disrespectful, and that a lot of time and effort had gone into this class. I stopped several times and asked them to stop talking over me. My helper finally told the stinker that she would need to talk to his mom. LUCKILY the mom took it well, and she agreed to sit in on the class next week. So I'm going to let her handle her kid. But there are still the three who think they're too cool for school. Sending them out to a parent is a last resort - because I don't want animosity - I want them to genuinely enjoy the class, and if they resent me personally, then that's not going to happen. If a kid is trying to be disruptive and negative and I don't want them back, then I will send them out, though.

 

I have the kids sitting at either side of a long table, and I stand at the front (where there's a whiteboard). It's a small room, and that's the only way it works.  I'm thinking of putting the two ADD but enthusiastic kids in front and putting the two attentive and enthusiastic kids in the second seats - actually, the kid who was missing will be attentive & ethusiastic, so I'll put her towards the front too. Then put the less eager kids on either side, a mom on either side, and the last couple of kids. And I will split up the brothers! 

 

The second class is an open time to play tabletop games. I'm the only one who brought games, so I was busy teaching the kids how to play. One of the brothers  (age 11) kept cheating. Once he switched his cards so his next draw would be more favorable, and then in Clue he tried to start playing as a different character because he wanted to be in that location. Both times when I called him out, he gave me a wide-eyed, innocent look and said he hadn't done it. Cheating & lying is something my kids haven't had an issue with, so this has thrown me. I really dislike liars and manipulators, and I kind of want to send him out to his mom when I catch him cheating - but maybe that is overreacting. If it was MY kid, I would make him quit the game. I kinda want to tell my own son to not play against this kid because he cheats, but I don't want to cause drama ... from what I know of his mom, I think she would be fine with me sending him out for cheating. 

 

I enjoy creating classes, and I enjoy teaching. I LOVE it when a kid tells me how much they love my class. These kids who have stinky attitudes are taking  a bit of the fun out of it.

 

If you're in a co-op, what would the teachers do (or what would you like them to do) in these kind of situations?

 

Edited by ondreeuh
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I don't force any kid to participate.  They're all given a warning, and if behavior continues they are excused to find their parent and go sit with them - even if the parent is teaching a class.

 

I have that privilege because I'm not a paid teacher.  I expect all the students to want to be there, or at the very least be respectful of their fellow students.  If a child isn't able to show that commitment, they need to be under the watchful eye of their own parent for that week and are welcome to return when they follow class rules AND after I have talked to the parent myself to reinforce what I expect during class time.

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One of the age levels I taught a while back has 2 extremely difficult students whose parents were not available to help due to other co-op duties. I no longer volunteer to teach that class. This year I have 2 disruptive students, but I've been pairing them with the more focused or quieter students to help keep them on task. Additionally, one student's mom is often available to help redirect him. 

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One of the age levels I taught a while back has 2 extremely difficult students whose parents were not available to help due to other co-op duties. I no longer volunteer to teach that class. This year I have 2 disruptive students, but I've been pairing them with the more focused or quieter students to help keep them on task. Additionally, one student's mom is often available to help redirect him. 

 

Do the disruptive students annoy the focused ones? Or do they simmer down when they realize the quieter kid isn't listening to them? I just don't want to punish the kids who want to be there.

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On 1/14/2018 at 9:58 AM, ondreeuh said:

Do the disruptive students annoy the focused ones? Or do they simmer down when they realize the quieter kid isn't listening to them? I just don't want to punish the kids who want to be there.

Yes, they definitely annoy some of the focused ones, my children included. I have tried to get my children to consider finding a new group, but they insist that staying is overall worth the annoyance since they have close friends there and the classes really are fun. The children are usually not ill-meaning, so that helps. 

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Classroom management is a very hard skill to master. It requires years of practice and in my experience is the number one advantage of having a more experienced teacher.

Kids will be kids and many moms on this board have very high standards for behavior to the point that what many would consider an eval for, I would say is quite simply a diagnosis of "nine year old". Some people are not compliant, period. You can discipline them their whole lives, and they will never be people pleasers or fear punishment. Hopefully as they mature they will gain maturity and perspective and decide for themselves to be good people.

I agree with the others that a "one strike you are out" rule is best. Tell parents coop is for kids who want to be there, and send out behavior expectations to kids and parents alike.

A class charter can also be helpful. Ask the students how they think they should treat each other and what they think a logical consequence is for breaking it. That can work really well in small groups and especially with this age. But reward participation and don't let kids sit out of that particular activity.

Edited by Tsuga
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:grouphug:

I am sorry this is not working out the way you had hoped. That can be really frustrating/disappointing/hurtful.

Some things to consider:

  • Clearly laid out expectations and rules for conduct, in succinct but clear written form, provided to the students and the parents that first day of class and reviewed verbally in the classroom with a friendly but firm manor and reinforced consistently throughout the lessons with a kind but firm manor can help.
  • Not every child has ever been in a classroom setting or been taught classroom etiquette and for some it is NOT an intuitive process so even if they HAVE been in a classroom before they may not have picked up on how to behave. Especially if they are only in one once a week for just a few weeks they may not have enough time or targeted reinforcement to learn.
  • Classroom management is, IMHO, one of the hardest things a teacher of multiple children has to deal with. All children are different. Just because the topic/presentation may seem amazing to you who created it does not mean that everyone will jump in with eagerness and gusto. When they don't, trying to keep them engaged or at least moving through the material even if they don't like it is one of the biggest challenges classroom teachers face. It isn't easy. It really, really isn't.
  • No matter how great the lessons may be for you and for some of the other students, for some it may genuinely be like nails on a chalkboard. Not because you didn't create a great class for the students that thrive with this subject/format/presentation, but because one size does not fit all. And developmentally not everyone is ready for lit analysis, however pleasantly it might be packaged from the point of view of someone who DOES like lit analysis.
  • Think about it. You are saying that your materials/lessons are not the issue at all, it is strictly the kids that are the issue, and yet you are also saying that half your class is bored. I wish all the kids I have ever taught loved the subjects I was teaching and were even moderately engaged and enthusiastic but that is not a realistic expectation. Each of us is different. Do you like all the exact same things as your husband? Were all of your children hitting developmental milestones at the same pace? For instance, my daughter at that age would have been miserable. It wouldn't have made sense to her and it would have been tear inducingly boring. She is an introvert so she probably could have managed her boredom by sitting quietly and suffering through until she could finally escape the classroom but it would not have been a good fit for her. Now? She'd love it. Then? No way. That doesn't mean you are a bad teacher or your materials are poorly selected or the kids are awful human beings for not liking your classroom. It just means that what you are teaching is a bad fit for some of the children trying to learn. I realize that is frustrating and annoying but it will help if you can avoid taking it personally.
  • Some of these kids may have been forced to take your class because their parents have no idea how to teach this subject, it has been HARD to get them doing these things at home, and they were hoping you could be the light at the end of the tunnel. However, forcing a child to take a class in a co-op setting when they really don't like the subject or are not yet developmentally ready for the subject or need a LOT of one on one support to get through the subject can lead to students resenting being there and starting out with a poor attitude from the get go. It can be hard to turn that around when you only see them once a week for a very limited time.
  • Start your next class with written guidelines for what you are expecting in the classroom. Try hard to be friendly but firm, not resentful and irritated. Go over those guidelines verbally. Ask questions. Get them thinking about why certain behaviors make it hard for anyone else to learn. Don't single anyone out. Just discuss.
  • If, during class, things are still not working out, explain again pleasantly but firmly what the rules are and at the end of the class, if things did not improve, tell the parent that this class seems to be a poor fit, explain why without rancor or judgement, and suggest they might be better off doing something else.

Hugs and good luck.

ETA: FWIW I applaud you for all the effort you put into this classroom. You may yet turn around the ones that aren't as engaged. It can take time for some kids to warm up to a subject and get used to the Dynamics of the classroom. I am certain that many of your students will remember it with fondness and learn a lot. Oh, and I agree, separate the brothers pronto.

Edited by OneStepAtATime
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I would look up some classroom management videos and resources from teacher's schools - as much practical instruction as you can get in classroom management, and not heavy on the theory.  

 

For me, I found classroom management impossible and I was terrible at it.  I was a very good designer of lesson plans and assembler of materials and grader and tutor - I was much better at all of those things than 99% of people in teacher's college.

 

Unfortunately, I was worse at classroom management than 99% of them, too, and it was unsustainable.  I quit.  

 

Now, if I had been able to implement them, there were various concrete things you can absolutely do to mitigate various problems in a classroom.  I just didn't have the social intelligence or the personal strength (granted, I was only 4-7 years older than most students, and short, and unsure of myself) to actually use any of it.  

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I teach in church and in co-ops and at scouts. What you are describing is pretty par for the course. Not all my scouts want to be there all of the time. Sometimes they are "stinkers," and sometimes they are into the games and crafts or whatever we have planned. They are teens. Moodiness is par for the course. 

 

Some classes I have had start out like yours, but once discipline was established, they got to enjoy the class. Some classes I have had full of enthusiastic kids and families who followed up at home and rolled with the subject. Sometimes they are just there because that is the only class available for them that hour and they like the rest of the co-op. It is what it is. Work with what you have. Switch seats around. Talk to the parents. Send them out. But don't expect that they will all love the class. But they will learn. Like someone said, it is often just a case of the age they are. It doesn't mean they aren't learning. 

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Do the disruptive students annoy the focused ones? Or do they simmer down when they realize the quieter kid isn't listening to them? I just don't want to punish the kids who want to be there.

 

I was one of the quiet good kids. And there were a number of times where I was yanked from my happy place sitting next to a nice kid, or next to my best friend, and forced to sit next to a rowdy boy. I hated it.

 

It even happened later on the job when I worked at a call center and we all sat side by side without walls. They put me next to a trouble maker with an explosive temper. After that I vowed I would never allow myself to be punished for being a nice person by having to sit next to a stinker all day at school or work.

 

I know why teachers/bosses want to do it, but it’s hard on the person who is stuck with the trouble maker.

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That is tough. First, though, I want to reassure you that that kid did like your class, he just didn't want to admit it to his mom. I'm sure.

 

Once you send a child to his mother he should not be welcome back until he and his mom talks to you.

 

Some kids respond to being called out in class. "Christine, it sounds like you have a lot to say about this topic, can you tell us your answer?" "He's kicking you? What are you two, 5? You need to move your seat away from him." "Are you all planning to attend high school or college? Because in a regular classroom X behavior can not be tolerated" For some kids this kind of direct attention is the worst idea, though, so know your audience.

 

Is there another class they could move to (behaviorally that could clearly include a lower level)? If so I would offer that as an option. "If you are not interested in this topic, or if it bores you then you are welcome to join Mrs. Schmidt's Finger Painting class".

 

You could talk to the mom(s) looking for guidance on how to manage their dear child. "Can you give me some tips on what would make this more interesting for Lawrence?" "I'm sorry to say that Shelley doesn't seem to be enjoying class, is there a specific issue or would she prefer the Mega Blocks class?"

 

Don't try terribly hard to make it enjoyable for each kid, some will dislike it purely on principle. Focus on the kids who are enjoying it. Some will come alongside, some will never be happy.

 

I would hesitate to assign seats, but I would point out to the two brothers that they obviously should not sit next to each other. Keep at least one seat near you free for someone to move into if they are having trouble not distracting others or keeping their hands to themselves.

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I was one of the quiet good kids. And there were a number of times where I was yanked from my happy place sitting next to a nice kid, or next to my best friend, and forced to sit next to a rowdy boy. I hated it.

 

It even happened later on the job when I worked at a call center and we all sat side by side without walls. They put me next to a trouble maker with an explosive temper. After that I vowed I would never allow myself to be punished for being a nice person by having to sit next to a stinker all day at school or work.

 

I know why teachers/bosses want to do it, but it’s hard on the person who is stuck with the trouble maker.

 

Agreed. While it's understandable in public school (everyone has to do their part), if I were paying for a coop or private school I'd be livid if my daughter had to babysit a boy. I understand why this happens, and I don't blame the 9 year old boys for being 9 year old boys, but it's not my kid's job to babysit another kid.

 

I don't think that's a solution, personally.

 

Ideally, the classroom should be boy-friendly (sounds like OP is making it pretty interactive and verbal), the expectations clear, and the consequences clear.

 

Enforcing consequences is part of life. It's not a failure of the classroom. That said... this is going to be a hard one, because people joined before the contract started. Yet another reason to go over a contract with both parents (separately) and kids, with their input.

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Wow. That sounds disappointing.

 

First off, while I am extremely forgiving and accepting of kids' bad behavior generally, I would be floored by the rudeness of a mother who tells me her kid found my class to be torture. What?!?! I mean, that is not even constructive.

 

Second, I have no idea beyond the small detail you provided about what the classroom is like, and I know you have no control over it-- but I think a poorly designed, uncomfortable room can turn kids (and adults) off from a class.

 

Third, I am no expert on classroom management, but one of the things I think new teachers sometimes forget to do (or at least, I forgot to do because I am shy and introverted and was focused on what I needed to say) is to spend a good amount of time just getting to know the kids and getting comfortable with each other and establishing the environment as a place where everyone is liked, valued, and respected. I mean, it's not at all productive in terms of accomplishing the agenda of the class, but when I think back to the classrooms I've been in as a student, one thing that sometimes confused me was how much time the teachers spent just chatting with us or letting kids waste everybody's time with their own personal anecdotes. But now that I've taught, I understand that those little chats actually were what enabled many of us to participate and engage with the teacher and see her as someone worth listening to.

 

Maybe you did that. Maybe you already know all the kids' names and greeted them and asked them questions about things in their lives you know about before you got down to business. Maybe you all started off with friendly chit-chat. Maybe they're just kids with bad attitudes who don't want to be there. And that is truly discouraging-- I know my kids, when they enroll for a class that truly interests them, hate it when others are badly behaved. But at the same time, I do know my kids can be stinkers when something doesn't engage them. Oh, boy, do I know. (It's why I let them choose whether to take outside classes, and which ones to take.) But because I know them outside of that Stinker context, we can usually find a way around it together based upon our relationship. And while there's not a lot of time to establish that in a class setting, trying to skip it can end up wasting everyone's time even more.

 

Hope the next class will go better. Honestly, it sounds like so much fun to me I'm hoping you'll share your lesson plans! My oldest would LOVE such an opportunity.

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I am a relief teacher in primary schools and do find classroom management challenging. One thing I have found is to keep the disruptive kids sloes to me if you put them at the back they will act up. close and they are less likely to. Another thing is to do lots of praising and rewarding of kids doing the correct thing. For younger children I have found stamping on their hand with a stamp to be surprisingly affective, everyone wants a stamp on their hand and suddenly the misbehaving boy is trying to copy the cooperative children to get a stamp like them.

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:grouphug:

 

I am sorry this is not working out the way you had hoped. That can be really frustrating/disappointing/hurtful.

 

Some things to consider:

  • Clearly laid out expectations and rules for conduct, in succinct but clear written form, provided to the students and the parents that first day of class and reviewed verbally in the classroom with a friendly but firm manor and reinforced consistently throughout the lessons with a kind but firm manor can help.
  • Not every child has ever been in a classroom setting or been taught classroom etiquette and for some it is NOT an intuitive process so even if they HAVE been in a classroom before they may not have picked up on how to behave. Especially if they are only in one once a week for just a few weeks they may not have enough time or targeted reinforcement to learn.
  • Classroom management is, IMHO, one of the hardest things a teacher of multiple children has to deal with. All children are different. Just because the topic/presentation may seem amazing to you who created it does not mean that everyone will jump in with eagerness and gusto. When they don't, trying to keep them engaged or at least moving through the material even if they don't like it is one of the biggest challenges classroom teachers face. It isn't easy. It really, really isn't.
  • No matter how great the lessons may be for you and for some of the other students, for some it may genuinely be like nails on a chalkboard. Not because you didn't create a great class for the students that thrive with this subject/format/presentation, but because one size does not fit all. And developmentally not everyone is ready for lit analysis, however pleasantly it might be packaged from the point of view of someone who DOES like lit analysis.
  • Think about it. You are saying that your materials/lessons are not the issue at all, it is strictly the kids that are the issue, and yet you are also saying that half your class is bored. I wish all the kids I have ever taught loved the subjects I was teaching and were even moderately engaged and enthusiastic but that is not a realistic expectation. Each of us is different. Do you like all the exact same things as your husband? Were all of your children hitting developmental milestones at the same pace? For instance, my daughter at that age would have been miserable. It wouldn't have made sense to her and it would have been tear inducingly boring. She is an introvert so she probably could have managed her boredom by sitting quietly and suffering through until she could finally escape the classroom but it would not have been a good fit for her. Now? She'd love it. Then? No way. That doesn't mean you are a bad teacher or your materials are poorly selected or the kids are awful human beings for not liking your classroom. It just means that what you are teaching is a bad fit for some of the children trying to learn. I realize that is frustrating and annoying but it will help if you can avoid taking it personally.
  • Some of these kids may have been forced to take your class because their parents have no idea how to teach this subject, it has been HARD to get them doing these things at home, and they were hoping you could be the light at the end of the tunnel. However, forcing a child to take a class in a co-op setting when they really don't like the subject or are not yet developmentally ready for the subject or need a LOT of one on one support to get through the subject can lead to students resenting being there and starting out with a poor attitude from the get go. It can be hard to turn that around when you only see them once a week for a very limited time.
  • Start your next class with written guidelines for what you are expecting in the classroom. Try hard to be friendly but firm, not resentful and irritated. Go over those guidelines verbally. Ask questions. Get them thinking about why certain behaviors make it hard for anyone else to learn. Don't single anyone out. Just discuss.
  • If, during class, things are still not working out, explain again pleasantly but firmly what the rules are and at the end of the class, if things did not improve, tell the parent that this class seems to be a poor fit, explain why without rancor or judgement, and suggest they might be better off doing something else.

Hugs and good luck.

 

ETA: FWIW I applaud you for all the effort you put into this classroom. You may yet turn around the ones that aren't as engaged. It can take time for some kids to warm up to a subject and get used to the Dynamics of the classroom. I am certain that many of your students will remember it with fondness and learn a lot. Oh, and I agree, separate the brothers pronto.

 

Thank you for your kind words, and for your good wishes.

 

I do know why the kids are disruptive. This is a public message board and I don't want to give details, but I will say that the three most challenging ones (ages 10-11) just came out of PS and their parents are making them take this class. This isn't a situation where kids came in ready to do literature and then were disappointed that I made them do boring drills or something. This is why I say that the problem isn't the class.

 

I am glad that I'm spending time with the kids during the game period to help build relationships, so that I am someone they want to please. 

Edited by ondreeuh
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Wow. That sounds disappointing.

 

First off, while I am extremely forgiving and accepting of kids' bad behavior generally, I would be floored by the rudeness of a mother who tells me her kid found my class to be torture. What?!?! I mean, that is not even constructive.

 

Second, I have no idea beyond the small detail you provided about what the classroom is like, and I know you have no control over it-- but I think a poorly designed, uncomfortable room can turn kids (and adults) off from a class.

 

Third, I am no expert on classroom management, but one of the things I think new teachers sometimes forget to do (or at least, I forgot to do because I am shy and introverted and was focused on what I needed to say) is to spend a good amount of time just getting to know the kids and getting comfortable with each other and establishing the environment as a place where everyone is liked, valued, and respected. I mean, it's not at all productive in terms of accomplishing the agenda of the class, but when I think back to the classrooms I've been in as a student, one thing that sometimes confused me was how much time the teachers spent just chatting with us or letting kids waste everybody's time with their own personal anecdotes. But now that I've taught, I understand that those little chats actually were what enabled many of us to participate and engage with the teacher and see her as someone worth listening to.

 

Maybe you did that. Maybe you already know all the kids' names and greeted them and asked them questions about things in their lives you know about before you got down to business. Maybe you all started off with friendly chit-chat. Maybe they're just kids with bad attitudes who don't want to be there. And that is truly discouraging-- I know my kids, when they enroll for a class that truly interests them, hate it when others are badly behaved. But at the same time, I do know my kids can be stinkers when something doesn't engage them. Oh, boy, do I know. (It's why I let them choose whether to take outside classes, and which ones to take.) But because I know them outside of that Stinker context, we can usually find a way around it together based upon our relationship. And while there's not a lot of time to establish that in a class setting, trying to skip it can end up wasting everyone's time even more.

 

Hope the next class will go better. Honestly, it sounds like so much fun to me I'm hoping you'll share your lesson plans! My oldest would LOVE such an opportunity.

 

The mom wasn't trying to be rude, but I did wish she hadn't told me! I think she was trying to vent a little about dramatic teens. But yeah, not helpful.

 

I did not get to know the new kids before class. In retrospect, that would have been helpful! I did start off with games, but it's not quite the same. I will start off our next class with an icebreaker where they can get to know each other. I definitely agree that it can take a little work to build a class culture where the kids want to behave well, but that it is time well spent. I was spoiled with my last class, which was full of really sweet kids who got along well. I didn't expect to have kids who walked in the door with an attitude that they didn't want to be there. The good news is that two of the new kids got super into the class. And even the reluctant ones loved using the pentominoes when we got to that part. 

 

I have never been the type to set down strict rules and enforce strict consequences. As a parent and tutor, I've always worked on building a trusting relationship so that they want to cooperate. There hasn't been time for that yet. I did spent another hour with the brothers after class playing games with them, and I think that helps. 

 

I am condensing my plans, which I can share later when it is done (probably after the class concludes). We are reading Chasing Vermeer. The kids will read four chapters at home during the week, study 8 vocabulary words each week, and answer some straight-forward comprehension questions with a parent. Then in class we have more open-ended seminar-style discussion about the chapters, learn a type of figurative language, discuss new story elements, keep track of the plot by filling out a diagram, compare characters, etc. Each week we explore a different puzzle or logic exercise - pentominoes, ciphers, roman numerals, anagrams, etc. My helper is doing an art history component where we learn about Vermeer's work, his real stolen painting, the Vermeer forger, Delft artists, etc. The last class will be a "breakout box" party. I will split the kids up into two teams of 4-5 kids, and they will solve various puzzles (decode message, arrange illustrations from the book in the order of the plot, solve a vocabulary crossword puzzle, match morals to fables, sort figurative language, put together a small jigsaw of one of Vermeer's paintings, etc.) that review what we have worked on. The solutions to each puzzle will unlock another puzzle - when they have solved them all they will unlock a box that has puzzle toys they get to keep. After the term is over we will take a field trip to Delft, Netherlands to visit a kid-friendly museum, and one mom is going to offer an art class. I put a LOT of work into this, and I want the kids to give it a fair chance.

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I am a relief teacher in primary schools and do find classroom management challenging. One thing I have found is to keep the disruptive kids sloes to me if you put them at the back they will act up. close and they are less likely to. Another thing is to do lots of praising and rewarding of kids doing the correct thing. For younger children I have found stamping on their hand with a stamp to be surprisingly affective, everyone wants a stamp on their hand and suddenly the misbehaving boy is trying to copy the cooperative children to get a stamp like them.

 

These kids are probably too old for stamps (10-13), but I remember my daughter's fourth-grade teacher would toss out gummy bears to kids who volunteered. I don't know that parents would like that. Hm, I will try to think of a subtle reward! I do give out praise :).

 

Interesting thought about putting the disruptive kids at the front. I think having them sit next to an adult at the back will probably work best. (There are only 4-5 kids on each side of the table - "at the back" is not very far from the board!).

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Can I take your class? It sounds great. Middle school kids are tough

 

My BIL teaches at a middle school, and he has referred to it as a "cheese factory" - it's where children go to age ;). These kids are pre-teens, but they seem to be on the precocious side, lol.

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I was coming back to say that you might want to spend a few minutes getting to know the kids, but someone already said that. So, I’ll concur that you want to have a few minutes of connection with the kids before jumping in to the materials. Have a smile on your face as much as you can and look them in the eye. My son took a class with a Spanish teacher and she was always smiling kindly at the kids and they responded very well to that. She wasn’t the enemy—but she wasn’t smiling in a way that made her seem weak and like she was trying to make them like her. It was just friendly and open.

 

When I was a corporate trainer (someone who trained my coworkers on how to do a job and also went out to train brokers on our computer system) I was taught that you put talky people right next to you. I was off training some brokers and my class had some Chatty Cathys in it, so I meandered my way over to them while I was lecturing and then taught the class right next to them (it wasn’t obvious what I was doing), and they settled right down. These were grown women (and older than me), but it’s an effective technique to place yourself right next to the talkers/trouble makers.

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I was coming back to say that you might want to spend a few minutes getting to know the kids, but someone already said that. So, I’ll concur that you want to have a few minutes of connection with the kids before jumping in to the materials. Have a smile on your face as much as you can and look them in the eye. My son took a class with a Spanish teacher and she was always smiling kindly at the kids and they responded very well to that. She wasn’t the enemy—but she wasn’t smiling in a way that made her seem weak and like she was trying to make them like her. It was just friendly and open.

 

Next class we will work on characterization, so I plan to open the class by having them randomly pair up and fill out a Venn diagram comparing the two of them. I have a list of positive character traits they can pick from if they need help. Then they can introduce each other to the class and talk about how they are alike and different. I will keep looking for short team-building activities like that for the other 5 classes.

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Sending them out to a parent is a last resort - because I don't want animosity - I want them to genuinely enjoy the class, and if they resent me personally, then that's not going to happen.

 

 

 

I think you can't take this personally. Their behavior is not about you. Their animosity might manifest itself towards you/this class, but it is really about their choices. They have to choose to be engaged and enjoy the class. No matter how good the material or engaging the teacher, you can't force an individual to engage or be happy. What you can maintain is a calm demeanor that simply respects the classroom environment as a whole, and respects those who are there who want to learn and be engaged. If anyone, those are the people you need to cater too and worry about pleasing because they will make the classroom a much better place overall.

 

Saying that, all the expectations need to be clearly laid out.  "If you are purposefully disruptive, you will get a warning.  Since you are middle school, you are old enough to not need more than one warning. After that, I can't conduct an enjoyable class, so I need you to go sit with your parent."

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The mom wasn't trying to be rude, but I did wish she hadn't told me! I think she was trying to vent a little about dramatic teens. But yeah, not helpful.

 

I did not get to know the new kids before class. In retrospect, that would have been helpful! I did start off with games, but it's not quite the same. I will start off our next class with an icebreaker where they can get to know each other. I definitely agree that it can take a little work to build a class culture where the kids want to behave well, but that it is time well spent. I was spoiled with my last class, which was full of really sweet kids who got along well. I didn't expect to have kids who walked in the door with an attitude that they didn't want to be there. The good news is that two of the new kids got super into the class. And even the reluctant ones loved using the pentominoes when we got to that part.

 

I have never been the type to set down strict rules and enforce strict consequences. As a parent and tutor, I've always worked on building a trusting relationship so that they want to cooperate. There hasn't been time for that yet. I did spent another hour with the brothers after class playing games with them, and I think that helps.

 

I am condensing my plans, which I can share later when it is done (probably after the class concludes). We are reading Chasing Vermeer. The kids will read four chapters at home during the week, study 8 vocabulary words each week, and answer some straight-forward comprehension questions with a parent. Then in class we have more open-ended seminar-style discussion about the chapters, learn a type of figurative language, discuss new story elements, keep track of the plot by filling out a diagram, compare characters, etc. Each week we explore a different puzzle or logic exercise - pentominoes, ciphers, roman numerals, anagrams, etc. My helper is doing an art history component where we learn about Vermeer's work, his real stolen painting, the Vermeer forger, Delft artists, etc. The last class will be a "breakout box" party. I will split the kids up into two teams of 4-5 kids, and they will solve various puzzles (decode message, arrange illustrations from the book in the order of the plot, solve a vocabulary crossword puzzle, match morals to fables, sort figurative language, put together a small jigsaw of one of Vermeer's paintings, etc.) that review what we have worked on. The solutions to each puzzle will unlock another puzzle - when they have solved them all they will unlock a box that has puzzle toys they get to keep. After the term is over we will take a field trip to Delft, Netherlands to visit a kid-friendly museum, and one mom is going to offer an art class. I put a LOT of work into this, and I want the kids to give it a fair chance.

I just have to say: I enjoyed Chasing Vermeer, and this sounds AMAZING! Never mind my kids — I wish *I* could take your class!

 

Others can give more info about classroom management than I can; I’m fairly inexperienced at that. I think it sounds like you have a lot of different activities for different styles of learning, which is what works best for the co-op class I’m teaching. I don’t have any real troublemakers or difficult students, which helps.

 

I think you need to speak to the parents or to the co-op Director. Chattery students who go off on tangents is one thing, but some of the ones you’re talking about sound rude. You might ask the director if there are particular protocols for specific students (like any who have documented adhd or something).

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I think you can't take this personally. Their behavior is not about you. Their animosity might manifest itself towards you/this class, but it is really about their choices. They have to choose to be engaged and enjoy the class. No matter how good the material or engaging the teacher, you can't force an individual to engage or be happy. What you can maintain is a calm demeanor that simply respects the classroom environment as a whole, and respects those who are there who want to learn and be engaged. If anyone, those are the people you need to cater too and worry about pleasing because they will make the classroom a much better place overall.

 

Saying that, all the expectations need to be clearly laid out.  "If you are purposefully disruptive, you will get a warning.  Since you are middle school, you are old enough to not need more than one warning. After that, I can't conduct an enjoyable class, so I need you to go sit with your parent."

:iagree:

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In the 20 years I have been an educator, one of the most important things I have learned is to immeditely build a decent rapport with your students. This will get you so much mileage--and they will be with you through thick and thin. Have thick skin--it's not about you at all. Hold them accountable with clear and natural consequences. Reward desired behaviors.

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Not to be too picky, but you sound like you have a lot of language in the class and not a lot of movement. A very ADHD boy is going to need MOVEMENT and be really weak comparatively on language. You might look for some games involving movement. Most people, even when they *try* to use multiple modalities, are still very language/text driven. It's sheer torture for an ADHD person.

 

As far as the cheating, it sounds like anxiety. I would give him a rule that accounts for it (everybody gets 2 peeks per game!) to lower his stress or bring in cooperative games.

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Not to be too picky, but you sound like you have a lot of language in the class and not a lot of movement. A very ADHD boy is going to need MOVEMENT and be really weak comparatively on language. You might look for some games involving movement. Most people, even when they *try* to use multiple modalities, are still very language/text driven. It's sheer torture for an ADHD person.

 

As far as the cheating, it sounds like anxiety. I would give him a rule that accounts for it (everybody gets 2 peeks per game!) to lower his stress or bring in cooperative games.

 

Well, I do think that's being a little picky, but that is usually what happens when one asks for advice on this forum. I said the issue was attitude, but of course someone is going to say I'm probably wrong and it's probably my fault. That's how it goes!

 

It is primarily a literature class, so yes, there is an emphasis on language. It's not a gym class, and even if I wanted to have them up and moving half the class, our room isn't set up for a whole lot of movement, and anyway, that's not the point. These kids have the ability to do the language part. They have the ability to participate in the activities, which are more interactive than you are assuming. None of these kids was writhing in his chair because he had been seated for too long. The bouncy kids were actively participating, as I said in my initial post. My issue was with one kid who had a big chip on his shoulder, and two kids who were bickering and kicking each other. And then the teen who participated well, but then his mom said he complained mightily about it.

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I guess I feel differently than most people here.

 

I have a kid with add and he just doesn't do things he's not reasonably prepared to do on his own, on his own. I don't walk away and leave him during communal times at his weekly play co-op, for example.

 

I don't love it when homeschoolers foist kids who can't handle situations alone into those situations and just have a shruggy attitude about it like now it's not their problem. Public and private school kids absolutely have to be there in all their classes-- it is THE way they are receiving their education. Homeschool parents utilizing co-op by definition could be making another choice.

 

So in other words I think it's a parent problem, not a teacher problem. Even if the class is as FUN! as watching rocks deteriorate over the millenia, the people present should be able to figure out how to handle themselves after some common-sense help from the teachers. If they can't, they either shouldn't be there, or their parents should make arrangements for someone else (not the teachers) to sit right by their side and guide them.

 

Blatant disregard for the co-op teachers hard work is how co-ops lose enthusiastic teachers.

 

So I guess my question is, is it relatively straight forward for students to disenroll? And my advice is either send them to their parents or explain to the parents that if they start taking the class off the rails again, they can't come back alone.

 

I have 2 kids with ADHD, and I attended every day of preschool with my youngest because it was too much to put on the teacher's shoulders. When I put each kid in swim lessons, I sat right in front of the class so I could be ready to step in. I stayed within arms-reach on the playground. So I agree with you - some kids need more support, and in a co-op situation, the parents should be making sure they have the support they need. The kid who was super disruptive thankfully has a mom who is totally on board with this, and she has been awesome. I think she will recognize if he won't be able to adjust to the class. 

 

The kids who were carrying on a conversation while I was talking and who were declining every offer to volunteer ... that's trickier. I am going to separate them, sit them next to an adult, and pull names next class, and I think that will help. If it's still a problem, then I will talk to their mom, but I'd rather handle it myself. One rather big issue is that we are part of a very small military community where everyone knows each other and works together. Everything is personal.

 

I guess it could be straight forward to tell a kid that he can't come back, but I don't believe a child has ever been asked to leave a class completely. So it would be a shocker and probably not supported by some. We only have one class per age group per period. So if a kid is 10, he is either going to be in my class or is going to be hanging out with mom and the other parents. There have been kids who weren't interested in the class that was offered for their age group, so they sat out and read a book, but that was their choice. Our co-op is very informal; people are always joining and leaving due to the fact that most families only live here for 3 years, and many are trying out homeschooling. I am actually a co-leader, but the leadership board has over half the moms on it, and it is very cooperative itself.

 

I have big plans for a "math lab" class next term that will be hands-on math fun - like making 3-d geometric models, drawing fractals, making hexaflexagons, tessellations, and mobius strips ... GREAT fun for kids who are interested! Maybe I will insist that we have a second option during the same time slot, so that kids aren't pushed into my class because it's the only one available. Or maybe I will offer it as a club outside of co-op.

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I guess I feel differently than most people here.

 

I have a kid with add and he just doesn't do things he's not reasonably prepared to do on his own, on his own. I don't walk away and leave him during communal times at his weekly play co-op, for example.

 

I don't love it when homeschoolers foist kids who can't handle situations alone into those situations and just have a shruggy attitude about it like now it's not their problem. Public and private school kids absolutely have to be there in all their classes-- it is THE way they are receiving their education. Homeschool parents utilizing co-op by definition could be making another choice.

 

So in other words I think it's a parent problem, not a teacher problem. Even if the class is as FUN! as watching rocks deteriorate over the millenia, the people present should be able to figure out how to handle themselves after some common-sense help from the teachers. If they can't, they either shouldn't be there, or their parents should make arrangements for someone else (not the teachers) to sit right by their side and guide them.

 

Blatant disregard for the co-op teachers hard work is how co-ops lose enthusiastic teachers.

 

So I guess my question is, is it relatively straight forward for students to disenroll? And my advice is either send them to their parents or explain to the parents that if they start taking the class off the rails again, they can't come back alone.

This is a bit how I feel about the situation.

 

It sounds to me like you are expecting too much from the 3 kids whose parents are forcing them to be there. I say this gently, but your class description sounds a lot like school. That's not a bad thing at all, but if the reasons that these kids were recently pulled from school was because of behaviors or problems with school structures or teachers, then your class sounds like a really bad fit.

 

ETA: Also, I've found that families have wildly different expectations about co-op classes. School is so different. Almost everyone (kids and adults) understands how behaviors will be handled in school. If these families are just coming out of school and this is their first experience with a co-op, they may be seeing you as the teacher instead of a parent volunteer. The teacher of a co-op class is very different, in my opinion, than a teacher at a school.

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I am sure that I am not expecting too much - I am expecting them to keep quiet when I am talking, to not take apart their notebooks, and to participate in what we're doing. I think my expectations are totally reasonable. If the kid doesn't want to meet them, then that doesn't mean I'm asking too much, it means he is doing too little. I am very tolerant of normal kid behavior. My helper told me I did really great redirecting the kids and staying positive.

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I am sure that I am not expecting too much - I am expecting them to keep quiet when I am talking, to not take apart their notebooks, and to participate in what we're doing. I think my expectations are totally reasonable. If the kid doesn't want to meet them, then that doesn't mean I'm asking too much, it means he is doing too little. I am very tolerant of normal kid behavior. My helper told me I did really great redirecting the kids and staying positive.

What you are expecting from them is to act like they are in school. They were all just pulled from school for some reason. School was not a good fit. Now you're expecting them to participate/pay attention in your class, but maybe how they are acting is how they acted in school.

 

I think you need to talk to their parents or accept their lack of interest since they were forced to be there and aren't really interested.

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I am sure that I am not expecting too much - I am expecting them to keep quiet when I am talking, to not take apart their notebooks, and to participate in what we're doing. I think my expectations are totally reasonable. If the kid doesn't want to meet them, then that doesn't mean I'm asking too much, it means he is doing too little. I am very tolerant of normal kid behavior. My helper told me I did really great redirecting the kids and staying positive.

I think your expectations are quite reasonable for a co-op class.

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I think your expectations are quite reasonable for a co-op class.

I agree with this completely.

 

My point is that these expectations line up with what is expected at school. If these 3 kids had any issues with school, then this class may be a terrible fit, especially if they don't want to be there.

 

That's what I mean by having expectations that are too high. A child coming from school who may have had a bad relationship with school may see this co-op as being just like school. To expect them to want to voluntarily participate is just not reasonable, especially if they have no interest and are being forced to be there by their parents.

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I'm also a teacher in a small co-op. We have a rule up front that says any child who misbehaves is taken to his parent for correction no matter what the parent is doing. We are all parents doing something. This usually only happens once and then the child behaves but we have all agreed to this. We know each other and our kids pretty well too as most of us have been doing this for at least two years, some more. I'm teaching hands-on science right now which the kids love so I don't have any problems. One boy gets a bit excitable, but his mom is one of my helpers and she gets him to calm down right away. 

 

The kids have to respect the teacher no matter how interesting they feel the content is or isn't. I hope the other parents support you, after all this is a volunteer situation. We do allow the kids some free play time before classes start to get their energy out and to get over the excitement of seeing their friends for the first time in at least a week. 

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Hand out sticks of gum for good behavior, correct answers, or just basic showing up to class. It keeps your wigglers/sensory seekers occupied and rewards the behavior you want.

 

Encourage physical interaction that doesn’t involve pencils. Sculpt your notes in clay one week, sketch them in pastels another, and twist them into pipe cleaners etc. The physical interaction increases their brain’s attentiveness to whatever they are hearing, and focusing intently on one image helps commit it to memory. (There are studies backing this method. I’ll try to pop back later with links)

 

Show your enthusiasm, not your annoyance. Kids can read our faces like books. It they feel like you are displeased, they have no motivation for doing well.

 

If things start going south, join the chaos. Announce, “I need everyone to yell Vermeer as loud as possible!†or “Okay, up! Three laps around the table as quick as possible. Go!†The abrupt change gives them a physical release from boredom and/or stress, interrupts any side conversations they may have been having, and gets everyone focused back on you.

 

Split them into groups and give them 5/10 min to work with a partner of their choice - with each group having a separate topic. Then hold your tongue while the timer ticks down and let them get off track if they choose. Their oral reports of their findiings may reveal that some of those kids you thought were in outer space were actually just processing things differently.

 

Consider ditching the table. It sounds constrining in your particular situation.

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When I was teaching, the kids earned points for staying on task. They got to vote as a class for what they wanted their reward to be. This worked well.

 

I would lay down some ground rules and stick to them religiously. Don't worry about the kids not liking you because you insist they follow the rules. You can be genuinely sorry and empathize with them that a consequence has to be given. Most kids function better when there are clear, logical boundaries and they know the boundaries will be enforced.

 

I was always a very structured teacher and I can say that many times the students that I had to enforce boundaries with most often ended up being the ones writing me enthusiastic letters at the end of the year telling me how much they loved my class.

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What you are expecting from them is to act like they are in school. They were all just pulled from school for some reason. School was not a good fit. Now you're expecting them to participate/pay attention in your class, but maybe how they are acting is how they acted in school.

 

I think you need to talk to their parents or accept their lack of interest since they were forced to be there and aren't really interested.

I think you are expecting something they can't do. This is not because your expectations are unreasonable just that they can't meet them right now. Their parents need to think about this and step back and let the kids deschool and readjust a bit before putting then in your class.

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Hand out sticks of gum for good behavior, correct answers, or just basic showing up to class. It keeps your wigglers/sensory seekers occupied and rewards the behavior you want.

 

Encourage physical interaction that doesn’t involve pencils. Sculpt your notes in clay one week, sketch them in pastels another, and twist them into pipe cleaners etc. The physical interaction increases their brain’s attentiveness to whatever they are hearing, and focusing intently on one image helps commit it to memory. (There are studies backing this method. I’ll try to pop back later with links)

 

Show your enthusiasm, not your annoyance. Kids can read our faces like books. It they feel like you are displeased, they have no motivation for doing well.

 

If things start going south, join the chaos. Announce, “I need everyone to yell Vermeer as loud as possible!†or “Okay, up! Three laps around the table as quick as possible. Go!†The abrupt change gives them a physical release from boredom and/or stress, interrupts any side conversations they may have been having, and gets everyone focused back on you.

 

Split them into groups and give them 5/10 min to work with a partner of their choice - with each group having a separate topic. Then hold your tongue while the timer ticks down and let them get off track if they choose. Their oral reports of their findiings may reveal that some of those kids you thought were in outer space were actually just processing things differently.

 

Consider ditching the table. It sounds constrining in your particular situation.

This would help with the difficult kids but at the expense of making some of the other kids miserable. If I do a literature class I don't want to shout, model stuff etc. I want to learn about literature. And I don't want to be in a the same room as gum - it revolts me. Edited by kiwik
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I think gum handed out at the beginning of class is a bad idea, and I have a sensory kid who loves gum and it helps him not chew on other things.   If you give out gum, be prepared for the non-attentive kids to be playing with it - pulling it out of their mouths stretching it, trying to blow bubbles with it, letting it dangle out the edge of their mouths like a tongue.  You may even start to find gum stuck on your chairs, your table, your markers/pens/pencils, your papers, your books, your floors.  If you're lucky, you won't have any gum "accidentally" wind up in someone elses (or their own) hair.

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I'm in my fourth year teaching at our co-op. I find that it takes me 2-3 class meetings for me to get the class to settle into a rhythm. I spend time the first class talking about my expectations for behavior. Then I observe and correct in the first class. Sometimes, I see the ones I need to deal with right away, others by the second class. I usually approach the moms first and let them know that I observed x,y,z and I am letting them know how I going to approach helping the kids to focus and be more effective in their behavior. I use a sticker/stamp method. I meet with the kids and I will talk to them about the class and how I think I need to help them focus better. When I come around and put a sticker on their hand (or stamp it - I have stamping markers), then it's me telling them that what is happening in that moment is not helpful. That I need them to stop and focus on quieting their body and their behavior without calling attention to them in class. Sometimes I have to stamp the other hand. I've told them that if it is a 3rd time, I will send them to their mom (who are well aware of what I am going to do) because today they aren't ready to be in class that day.

Kids generally don't want to miss class because I incorporate teams and competition and we do a lot of interesting and fun things in my science classes. What I wrote about is addressing disruptive behavior. 

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I was one of the quiet good kids. And there were a number of times where I was yanked from my happy place sitting next to a nice kid, or next to my best friend, and forced to sit next to a rowdy boy. I hated it.

 

It even happened later on the job when I worked at a call center and we all sat side by side without walls. They put me next to a trouble maker with an explosive temper. After that I vowed I would never allow myself to be punished for being a nice person by having to sit next to a stinker all day at school or work.

 

I know why teachers/bosses want to do it, but it’s hard on the person who is stuck with the trouble maker.

This happened to me a lot too and I found it kinda scary as a small kid.

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I was one of those parents who had a child who would not participate in a co-op writing class....and I kept him in anyways (DUCKING UNDER THE TABLE TO AVOID THE COMMENTS I SEE COMING).

 

OK, but here's why.  He was a stuggling reader and writer.  I thought the class might draw him out.   And, it actually did.  It was hit or miss.   Some days he would sit in a corner with a scowl on his face, but when he did participate it drew him out to do stuff he'd never even tried.   Some of my most embarrassed of my kid moments, and some of my most proud of my kid moments happened in that class, and I am so glad that the teacher kept trying with him and never asked me to remove him.

 

I wondered every week if I was doing the right thing.  I never made him participate...I didn't even make him go, actually (he wanted to be in there with the other kids...I told him if he wanted to we could go outside during that class).  I did make him listen to the other kids read their stories and such, and I did tell him he couldn't stay if he was being rude (though I allowed the scowl, so long as he stayed quiet and kept his comments to himself).  

 

Anyways, just a view from the other side. 

 

 

 

 

 

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I was one of those parents who had a child who would not participate in a co-op writing class....and I kept him in anyways (DUCKING UNDER THE TABLE TO AVOID THE COMMENTS I SEE COMING).

 

OK, but here's why.  He was a stuggling reader and writer.  I thought the class might draw him out.   And, it actually did.  It was hit or miss.   Some days he would sit in a corner with a scowl on his face, but when he did participate it drew him out to do stuff he'd never even tried.   Some of my most embarrassed of my kid moments, and some of my most proud of my kid moments happened in that class, and I am so glad that the teacher kept trying with him and never asked me to remove him.

 

I wondered every week if I was doing the right thing.  I never made him participate...I didn't even make him go, actually (he wanted to be in there with the other kids...I told him if he wanted to we could go outside during that class).  I did make him listen to the other kids read their stories and such, and I did tell him he couldn't stay if he was being rude (though I allowed the scowl, so long as he stayed quiet and kept his comments to himself).  

 

Anyways, just a view from the other side. 

The difference here seems to be that OP has concerns over students who are being disruptive and making it hard for other students to engage.  It sounds like your student wasn't being disruptive and you apparently were either right there in the room with him or talking directly with the teacher after each class and being very proactive in discussing things with your child?

 

I don't see this as the same situation TBH.  I have taught in classes and in co-ops.  I don't expect all students to be falling all over themselves with glee regarding any particular subject/class.  Different kids connect with different things and at different times.  As long as they aren't making it exceedingly difficult for other students to learn I don't have an issue, as a teacher, with a student who scowls and does not feel engaged.  I do my best but I am realistic.  If your student had been in my co-op class I would have tried to make it a pleasant experience but would not have made him leave just because he wasn't enjoying himself.  If he were constantly messing with the other students, or interrupting me, or otherwise causing considerable disruption on a regular basis, I would try to work with the student and the parents first but eventually might suggest that he not attend.  (If it were a safety issue then that would be a faster reaction, though, since all students should feel safe in my classroom.)

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One thing I do in my classes for ice breakers is to send out an email with the ice breaker in it before class. Some kids aren’t good at thinking in the moment so questions like listing your favorite movies elicits a blank stare while inwardly they’re scrambling.

 

Also I include silly questions on handouts that are not related at all to what’s on the topic. (Careful here, some kids prefer to get sidelined and won’t move on) stuff like draw a picture of a cat flying like an airplane.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Sending them out to a parent is a last resort - because I don't want animosity - I want them to genuinely enjoy the class, and if they resent me personally, then that's not going to happen. If a kid is trying to be disruptive and negative and I don't want them back, then I will send them out, though.

 

 

It sounds like you are good at engaging kids, plan out great activities, and have a very generous heart and love of teaching kids.  Don't be afraid to deal with problem kids quickly and effectively by removing them from the class. They can easily destroy the atmosphere for the others in the class. 

 

I see co-ops as completely optional and voluntary, that should be respected and treated professionally. If a child doesn't want to be there and disrupt others, they shouldn't be allowed to destroy the environment for others. 

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Update - today was so much better. The really disruptive kid said straight up that he didn't want to be there. I explained that if someone doesn't want to come to this class, they can at least be respectful about it and try it with an open mind. If they are disruptive, then they cannot be in the class because is too distracting for the kids who want to be there. His mom backed me up 100%.

 

I started out with an icebreaker where they got to talk to a kid they didn't already know well and fill out a Venn diagram to show in which ways they were similar and different. He refused to do it. Luckily my helper was able to get him to do the activity with her, During the class he really seemed to be trying to get himself kicked out. About halfway through his mom just took him out because she could see his attitude was affecting the whole class. Once he was out of the room it was an immediate difference; everyone relaxed a bit and we had a fun class! Everyone participated and they liked the activities. I talked to the mom afterwards and she totally agreed that he shouldn't come back to the class. I'll keep sending her the group emails with the assignments and such. She says he likes the book.

 

So whew - I think it will be fine from here on out. The teen who had told his mom it was torture? He was grumpy for the first five minutes, but he got paired with a super sweet chatty girl who kind of drew him out of his shell - and he ended up having a lot to say in the class. So I'm not too worried about him.

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