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And again... the cat


Night Elf
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College dd is home and isn't used to living with the cat in the house. We leave the door leading to dd's room downstairs closed so the cat cant' get into her room. Her room has a plethora of hiding places. I call it the room of no return. College dd just came upstairs and didn't close her door downstairs. The cat came past the gate and the dog started chasing the cat. Instead of going back through the gate to his own room, the cat ran downstairs and is now in dd's room. There's no telling when he'll come out. The cat is still skittish and he runs if dd comes into the room. So now she's in her room and he's in hiding. I'm worried he won't come out because she's in plain sight. This could be bad. 

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Is she asleep at present? Because otherwise I would ask DD to come out of the room for a while and I would confine the dog somewhere that he won’t send the cat running right back. Also impress upon her she must shut the door because it’s a problem with the cat.

 

I KWYM about the place of no return. My dd just got back yesterday and her room looks like the staging area for warehouse shipments!

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The cat will come out when he's ready. Cats NEED places to hide. It's instinctual behavior for them. He will likely feel much less stressed if he has several hidey holes. The more the better.

 

Just make sure he doesn't get stuck in her room with the door shut for too long w/o access to food, water and litter box.

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Dd only came upstairs to go to the bathroom. She wasn't ready to wake up. She went back to bed. I left the door open so hopefully the cat will come back upstairs. He's got places to hide in his area of the house. The cat could possibly hide for hours down there. I can't expect dd to stay out of her room that long waiting for the cat to make an appearance. And the dog is with me. If I hear the cat, I can put the dog outside or if the cat sneaks upstairs the hallway is at the top of the stairs. The cat doesn't need to come into the living room to get back to his own room. 

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Dd only came upstairs to go to the bathroom. She wasn't ready to wake up. She went back to bed. I left the door open so hopefully the cat will come back upstairs. He's got places to hide in his area of the house. The cat could possibly hide for hours down there. I can't expect dd to stay out of her room that long waiting for the cat to make an appearance. And the dog is with me. If I hear the cat, I can put the dog outside or if the cat sneaks upstairs the hallway is at the top of the stairs. The cat doesn't need to come into the living room to get back to his own room. 

 

Hiding for hours is not a problem.

 

She doesn't have to stay out of her room, just leave the door slightly ajar so kitty can get out if he wants.

 

The two of them being together like that, while the cat can observe her from a hiding place, will in all likelihood rapidly speed up the process of him accepting/getting used to her.

 

Really -- this doesn't sound like a problem at all.

 

Cats' time frames are entirely different from humans'. You think in terms of hours, which is like a second to a cat. We adopted a cat once who hid for three months before she decided to come out during the day. Three months. No kidding. I wasn't overly concerned. She was coming out at night to eat, drink and use the litter box. Had she not been doing that then yes, there would have been cause for concern.

Edited by Pawz4me
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The closet downstairs is actually the space under the stairs, so it is a long space that wraps around in a u-turn under the slant of the stairs. We have lots of boxes and other stuff in there so yes, it's a perfect place for a cat. This cat is still new in the house. He's been using his litter pan but I'm worried he'll feel trapped downstairs and pee on something in the back of the closet. And then there are the things he can get behind and under in the actual room. He doesn't come when called but he has a bond with DH so maybe DH can coax him out. The cat's domain is the back of the house. He has his own room and our bedroom to be in during the day. The dog can't get to the back of the house so the cat doesn't feel threatened.

 

I just don't like the idea of the cat being downstairs. It just makes me nervous. I'll feel better when he comes back to his own space. 

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I just don't like the idea of the cat being downstairs. It just makes me nervous. I'll feel better when he comes back to his own space.

Gently, I think this is your problem. The cat is fine, and is acting perfectly normally for a cat.

 

What are your long-term goals for the cat? Do you want it to comfortably inhabit the whole house, or only use part of it?

 

I don't think you need to worry about the litter box issue unless the cat is shut in the room. It'll be all right, really.

 

Hugs in the meantime! :-)

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My dd's room is not a safe space. There is a lot of junk down there. We don't go into it. It's the only room on the bottom level of our house so we keep that door closed. The door to the garage is also down there so we do have to open the door to get into the hallway that leads to the garage but her personal door which is an accordion door is pulled shut and latched.

 

The cat started meowing and DH went down there with wet cat food and enticed him into the hallway and got him up the stairs. He's back in his own space.

 

I would LOVE for the cat to be able to walk anywhere upstairs he wants to but our dachshund isn't being friendly. We're trying to slowly introduce them but I'm always holding the dog so he can't take off after the cat. I am totally skeptical that they'll ever learn to coexist and I think they'll always have to be separated. During the day the cat is either in his room or my room which are near one another on opposite sides of the hallway. The dog is in the main living area with me. At night, we get the cat out of our room and put the dog in there and the cat then has the run of the house, except for the lower level. Ds stays up all night so the cat spends a lot of time in his room hanging out with him. 

 

The former owner of the cat says she wants him back at any time we decide it's not working no matter how long we keep him. However, both DH and ds are bonding with him so I don't think they're going to want to give him up. I feel bad the cats spends 7:30 - 6:00pm mostly by himself. I do try to go in there and give him some attention but the dog stands at the gate and barks loudly until I reappear, so I don't get to stay more than a few minutes. DH spends a couple of hours with him every evening. Lately I've been going in my room with the dog early, around 7:30pm and let the cat go into the main area of the house where DH is watching tv or whatever. He seems to be doing okay. I'm not bonding with him. I don't like how he plays by grabbing various of my body parts with his paws and starts biting me. DH thinks he'll outgrow that. I sure hope so because I don't like trying to pet him anymore.

 

DH thinks it will take 2-3 months for the animals to learn to coexist. We'll see.

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I think it might go better if you just let both the dog and cat do their own thing and not worry about them. I don’t know anyone who has slowly introduced their animals this way.

Yes, this. A few scratches on the nose and the dog will probably become much more respectful. And the more bolt holes the cat can dash into as she manages the process at her own pace, the faster it will go.

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Look, I am a dog person, have no desire to have a cat...with that being said...I really think that Night Elf just doesn't want a cat and she said as much in her original posts about the cat.  I think you have to decide are you going to learn to live with the cat for the sake of your dh and son or are you going to give the cat back.  The problems you are talking about don't seem that big of a deal to me even not being a cat person.  If you decide to keep the cat I hope that you can adjust your expectations of the cat so that you and the cat and your family will be happier.

 

I am not trying to give you a hard time...I just don't think you have decided to put up with the normal antics of owning a cat.

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Gently, I think this is your problem. The cat is fine, and is acting perfectly normally for a cat.

 

What are your long-term goals for the cat? Do you want it to comfortably inhabit the whole house, or only use part of it?

 

I don't think you need to worry about the litter box issue unless the cat is shut in the room. It'll be all right, really.

 

Hugs in the meantime! :-)

^^^ This.

 

I’ve owned cats my entire life, and your cat is behaving perfectly normally for a cat. He will be fine. He and the dog will work things out, and he will continue to get used to his new surroundings.

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^^^ This.

 

I’ve owned cats my entire life, and your cat is behaving perfectly normally for a cat. He will be fine. He and the dog will work things out, and he will continue to get used to his new surroundings.

Dogs and cats like to chase each other. In my house, the cat is the one to watch for b/c he's 3 times as big, lol, but the tiny dog still chases him.

 

I'd be more worried about making them wary of each other by keeping them apart. Forbidden fruit and all...

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Cats have minds of their own and no matter what we want them to do or decide where they should sleep or stay, they will do what they want. Outside cats have large roaming areas and indoor cats choose where they want to be. The cat will hide downstairs when the opportunity presents itself and twitch his/her tale in amusement at all the human shenanigans. I had a cat I was determined to keep as an indoor cat. He was determined to be an outdoor cat. Guess who won. I’ve come to the conclusion over the years that we belong to them. I’m my cats human, needed for food and belly rubs. 😄.

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This is what cats do. They hide for hours and hours. They don’t like dogs. They prefer solitary life to constant human interaction. I’ve had cats that had no use for humans other than food and changing the litter box. The cat we currently have will happily go days without seeing a human in the house. He just likes his hidey spots.

 

Cats are neurotic. That’s okay. But if you’re going to worry this much over normal cat behavior, I would let him go back to the former owner.

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I do know about cats. I've had many cats since I was a teenager. Our last cat died about about a year after we got our dachshund and we just never got more since we had two dogs. 

 

I don't think it's a good idea to let the cat be chased by the dog everytime the dog sees the cat. It's got to be stressful to the cat and that seems cruel. One time when the dog did chase the cat, they were both agitated for quite a while after we separated them. The cat does have places to hide but he likes to be under the bed the most and the dog can get under there so it's not a safe space for the cat. I'm introducing them the way my vet's office suggested I do it. She doesn't even want me to put the cat in a carrier and let the dog sniff around it. It will stress the cat.

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I should also add that my dog is not trained. I can get him to sit for a treat and he'll stay while I take about 4 steps backwards. But if he sees the cat, his natural instinct to chase the cat will definitely override any command I give to him. I also can't put a leash on him because he goes beserk as he gets so excited he's going out. He doesn't walk well on a leash so we don't do regular walks with him. Occasionally we take him to the greenway and he runs full speed with DH while I walk behind them. The only time he'll actually walk on the leash is when he tuckers himself out running, then he slows to a walk but as soon as he gets his breath back, he takes off again. 

 

I'll admit I"m not overly fond of this cat. I personally wanted another dog to be a companion to my dachshund but DH wouldn't let me have another dog. He wanted a cat. My vet put me together with a woman who had a cat she was willing to give away who had been around dogs with no problems. The cat even slept next to the dogs. But the problem is the personality of the dogs not the cat. The cat won't run if he just sees the dog. It's when the dog charges towards him that he runs away and my dog charges when he sees the cat. If the cat would learn to jump up on something, he'd be safe. Chances are my dog wouldn't even realize the cat was up high on something. But if he went near, the cat could swipe at him and maybe teach the dog that the cat doesn't want to play. But the cat runs under the bed and the dog follows. Then he runs out into the main part of the house and goes up and down the hallway. There are other places he can hide, like in his room or under the sofa in the living room but he doesn't think to do that. He just keeps running until we catch the dog and put the dog away from the cat. So maybe we don't have enough hiding places. 

 

I don't know. DH is in charge of this one. He's not ready to give up and I can't change his mind. He'll have to decide on his own whether it's ever going to work out or if we'll always have to keep them separated.

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Have you ever watched Jackon Galaxy's "My Cat from Hell"? He would probably recommend giving the cat high places to perch as an escape route, as places for the cat to study the dog, and as places to relax/nap with no fear of the dog. That way everyone can be in the same room with no drama and hopefully, eventually the dog and cat can learn to coexist on the same level.

 

He probably has examples on his website. He'll definitely have a better explanation of what I'm trying to say.

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I do know about cats. I've had many cats since I was a teenager. Our last cat died about about a year after we got our dachshund and we just never got more since we had two dogs. 

 

I don't think it's a good idea to let the cat be chased by the dog everytime the dog sees the cat. It's got to be stressful to the cat and that seems cruel. One time when the dog did chase the cat, they were both agitated for quite a while after we separated them. The cat does have places to hide but he likes to be under the bed the most and the dog can get under there so it's not a safe space for the cat. I'm introducing them the way my vet's office suggested I do it. She doesn't even want me to put the cat in a carrier and let the dog sniff around it. It will stress the cat.

 

I don't typically recommend asking vets for training/behavioral advice unless the vet is a behaviorist (which is a specialty within the veterinary field just like a vet ophthalmologist, etc.). Your average vet is well trained for medical issues but not so much for behavioral stuff.

 

Not that I disagree with what she told you. It does, however, sound like someone reversed the typical advice, which would be to put the dog in a crate and allow the cat to explore w/o fear of being chased.

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Your dog could probably benefit from some training.  Your cat is being a typical cat but if your dog isn't trained well enough to walk on leash, maybe his bad behavior is going to be an issue. However, I do think that if you stop separating them then they will figure it out pretty quickly. The cat will find places that the dog can't get to, like on a bed. The dog will figure out the cat will scratch if tormented. It either works out with them getting along, avoiding each other, or you know pretty fast that they aren't compatible and you return the cat.  But keeping them apart, and cat so isolated doesn't seem to be making any progress at all. 

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I should also add that my dog is not trained. I can get him to sit for a treat and he'll stay while I take about 4 steps backwards. But if he sees the cat, his natural instinct to chase the cat will definitely override any command I give to him. I also can't put a leash on him because he goes beserk as he gets so excited he's going out. He doesn't walk well on a leash so we don't do regular walks with him. Occasionally we take him to the greenway and he runs full speed with DH while I walk behind them. The only time he'll actually walk on the leash is when he tuckers himself out running, then he slows to a walk but as soon as he gets his breath back, he takes off again. 

 

I'll admit I"m not overly fond of this cat. I personally wanted another dog to be a companion to my dachshund but DH wouldn't let me have another dog. He wanted a cat. My vet put me together with a woman who had a cat she was willing to give away who had been around dogs with no problems. The cat even slept next to the dogs. But the problem is the personality of the dogs not the cat. The cat won't run if he just sees the dog. It's when the dog charges towards him that he runs away and my dog charges when he sees the cat. If the cat would learn to jump up on something, he'd be safe. Chances are my dog wouldn't even realize the cat was up high on something. But if he went near, the cat could swipe at him and maybe teach the dog that the cat doesn't want to play. But the cat runs under the bed and the dog follows. Then he runs out into the main part of the house and goes up and down the hallway. There are other places he can hide, like in his room or under the sofa in the living room but he doesn't think to do that. He just keeps running until we catch the dog and put the dog away from the cat. So maybe we don't have enough hiding places. 

 

I don't know. DH is in charge of this one. He's not ready to give up and I can't change his mind. He'll have to decide on his own whether it's ever going to work out or if we'll always have to keep them separated.

Wait, why can't your dh have his cat and you get the dog that you want? It's not like a cat and two dogs is an unmanageable number of pets.

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I suspect it's possible that both pets are picking up on your level of tension.  I just can't imagine a little dog doing much damage to a cat. The dog will charge, the cat will hide. Eventually, they will both get over it. It just may take a few months.

 

When we first got out oldest cat, she hid from the dog for months. Now, they sleep together.  When we brought the second cat home as a little kitten, she taught both the older cat and the dog that she was boss and not to be messed with.  Kitten number 3 was a whole new ball of wax.  It just takes time for them to figure out their place.  I think it would help a lot if you could try to relax a bit and not worry too much about the dog. The cat will teach him to behave. As long as he has places to hide or climb up to when the dog is up to his antics, the cat will be fine.

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My vet put me together with a woman who had a cat she was willing to give away who had been around dogs with no problems. The cat even slept next to the dogs. But the problem is the personality of the dogs not the cat. The cat won't run if he just sees the dog. It's when the dog charges towards him that he runs away and my dog charges when he sees the cat. If the cat would learn to jump up on something, he'd be safe. Chances are my dog wouldn't even realize the cat was up high on something. But if he went near, the cat could swipe at him and maybe teach the dog that the cat doesn't want to play. But the cat runs under the bed and the dog follows. Then he runs out into the main part of the house and goes up and down the hallway. There are other places he can hide, like in his room or under the sofa in the living room but he doesn't think to do that. He just keeps running until we catch the dog and put the dog away from the cat. So maybe we don't have enough hiding places. 

 

It's not impossible that the cat is playing. Many cats like to entice a dog to chase them and this type of play may be what the cat is used to. Many households that have cats and dogs would see this as perfectly normal and would say that the cat had no problems with dogs. The cat knows he's totally capable of defending himself. It's very possible he feels quite a lot of cat disdain for the wimpy dog. ;) You've had the cat for a couple of weeks now, right? More than likely he knows where the high places are. It sounds as if he's simply not choosing them. Which may mean he wants the dog to chase (play with) him.

 

One thing you can try just to be sure he does know/understand about the high places is to occasionally place kitty on them if you haven't already done so.

 

When bringing  in a new adult cat (or bigger/older kitten) I generally worry more about the safety of the current dog(s) than I do the cat. Most grown or near grown cats can more than hold their own with one pampered house dog who isn't used to having to defend itself. I've seen some pretty bad damage inflicted on dogs. Now if there are two dogs who might gang up on the cat that's different. But one--my safety concerns are mostly for the dog. And I don't post that to make you scared about your dog's safety. Just to let you know that most cats (at least the ones who aren't declawed) are very capable of protecting themselves from a small house dog. When our dogs have pestered the cats our standard warning has always been: "The cat is fully loaded." ;)

Edited by Pawz4me
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Yes, this. A few scratches on the nose and the dog will probably become much more respectful. And the more bolt holes the cat can dash into as she manages the process at her own pace, the faster it will go.

 

Yup.  Dogs chase cats, cat's fight back, dogs learn not to chase cats. 

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My dd's room is not a safe space. There is a lot of junk down there. We don't go into it. It's the only room on the bottom level of our house so we keep that door closed. 

 

Not safe as in open pools of chemicals? Swinging chain saws? Seriously, cats are not toddlers. He's not going to do anything other than hide. Lots of junk doesn't mean not safe. He's fine. 

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I don't think the question is how cats and dogs behave, it's how THIS cat and THIS dog behave, and whether they are a good match.  The way dogs respond to cats runs the gamut from chase & kill to calm & friendly.  I agree that the cat's response is perfectly normal, considering how the dog is acting.  They may or may not work it out in an acceptable way.  We hand raised a litter of 6 kittens and adopted them out.  One (the one who played with our dog and wasn't scared of her in the least) went to live with dachshunds and was returned to us four months later because it was not working out.  Our previously relaxed and happy kitten was jumpy and anxious.  Several years later he still has a strange habit of being wary of doorways and jumping over them, though he is a happy and friendly cat in general, and still gets along beautifully with our dog.  I'm sure he was traumatized by living with those dachshunds. Not all cats are wired to stand up to a dog and dominate them, so that may never happen until the cat is cornered and has no other choices. 

 

If you are willing, and your dog is trainable, you might try clicker training.  it would involve training your dog to look at you and receive treats while in the presence of the cat. Training would need to be consistent and frequent initially, but you would probably soon have an idea if you could make it work.  

 

By the way, if you do adopt another dog, it certainly could worsen the cat's position in the household.  The new dog might also be aggressive toward cats and set off your first dog.  Pack behavior is typically more dangerous than a single dog.  

 

Good luck!  You are in a nice position of having a back up home if you see things are not improving.  

Edited by Kebo
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No, I can't have another dog without DH's consent. It's a living being and we believe we should be in agreement when to get a new pet. DH likes my dog but he's not bonded to him. Nor was he bonded to our last dog that died a year ago. I think DH's idea is to wait out my dog's life then never have another dog. He much prefers cats. The most cats we've had at one time was 4 and they all got along beautifully. I had two cats that I bonded to so it's not like I don't like cats. My dog is only 8 years old. There's no telling how long he'll live. It's sad in a way to think that DH thinks of my dog the way he does. At least he has no problems with the dog sleeping in the bed with me. He hates when the dog gets near his side though. It didn't take long to train my dog to stay on my side of the bed only.

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Have you ever watched Jackon Galaxy's "My Cat from Hell"? He would probably recommend giving the cat high places to perch as an escape route, as places for the cat to study the dog, and as places to relax/nap with no fear of the dog. That way everyone can be in the same room with no drama and hopefully, eventually the dog and cat can learn to coexist on the same level.

 

He probably has examples on his website. He'll definitely have a better explanation of what I'm trying to say.

 

I agree.  He also has another show called Dogs and Cats, or something like that, and they had this exact situation.  He was adamant that the dog had to be trained and, until he was trained to ignore the cat, he had to be leashed 100% of the time in the house.  He taught the couple how to train the dog to ignore the cat and, in the end, the dog was safe around the cat and no longer needed to be on the leash.

 

He also had the owners create lots of safe places up high for the cat, so the cat could be in the same common areas with the family even if the dog was around.  

 

I have had cats my entire life and my cats have always been very social.  They also have territory issues and need to feel they "own" their house/territory.  When they feel their territory is threatened, that is when you end up with issues of them peeing all over the place.  If they feel confident they "own" their territory, they typically walk around with their tail held high, which show confidence, and they rub their whiskers on all of the door frames and hard furniture to leave their scent.

 

I had a large cat (Dancer) who spent some of his time outside, always near the house.  The neighbors daucsand (Pete) would run over to Dancer, barking up a storm.  The first time I saw it, I was getting ready to go pick him so he wouldn't run away scared but the neighbor told me to wait and see what happened.  When Pete ran up barking, Dancer laid on the lawn as calm as could be until Pete got really close and then Dancer jump up and ran really fast toward Pete.  Pete very quickly turned and ran home while yelping loudly.  It was pretty funny and quite surprising to me, since Dancer had not been raised around any dogs.  But he was an old cat and was probably about the same size as Pete.

 

Good luck with your difficult situation.

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