ktgrok Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 I have a close friend with some relationship issues and realized that Love Languages would probably be helpful to her. She's super busy, wondering if there is a video or something she could watch, and have the other person watch? Or quick and dirty article, rather than reading a whole book? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EMS83 Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Five_Love_Languages The book cover has the 5 languages printed on the front, but: physical touch acts of service words of affirmation receiving gifts quality time 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 I think there's a free quiz on the website. IMHO, it's pretty self explanatory. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solascriptura Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 The basic premise is that everyone expresses/gives love and receives love in different ways. I’ll use a friend as an example since hers is pretty black and white. She feels loved if her dh does acts of service. He needs to notice where she and the family needs help and he needs to do it happily. He likes to give love through gifts. Does nothing for her and in fact she pretty much rejects his constant use of money even if it’s to give her gifts. Think vacations and jewelry. Also, keep in mind that a person can receive love and give love in different ways. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Five_Love_Languages The book cover has the 5 languages printed on the front, but: physical touch acts of service words of affirmation receiving gifts quality time I've read the book so I'll try to give a "sum up" of these: Physical touch - this does NOT equate to sex. A person who feels loved by physical touch, wants a hand on their shoulder to say, "I'm here" or "I notice you're here". That's what a hug, or hand on shoulder, or holding their hand says to them. Acts of Service - this person feels loved when someone purposely makes them dinner, or cleans the house, or sets the table, or puts gas in the other's car, without being asked. Words of Affirmation - this person feels loved when someone tells them, "Hey, you did a great job on that!" or "Thanks for cooking dinner. I really appreciate it." Or, "Wow, that's a really good drawing." Receiving Gifts - this person likes to receive things that show the other person was thinking of them. Since this is my love language, I would LOVE it if my dh would surprise me some day with a gift card to Barnes & Noble or Amazon. It could be $10 and I would be over the moon. One day I was touched when a new friend, who had noticed a book I was reading on a break at work, brought me the second book in the series. I felt thought of. Quality time - this person doesn't care WHAT you do (mostly) together as long as you spend time together. It could be just watching the sun set at the lake, or at the park. Doesn't have to be an expensive outing. It could be boardgame over coffee at home. They just want you to spend time with them. Hope that clarifies it a bit! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 Chapman's model is incomplete. Food and music are also love languages. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted December 15, 2017 Author Share Posted December 15, 2017 I have passed on the quiz, that was more what I needed, thank you! I think part of the issue is her husband's love language is acts of service, and hers is touch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 Yeah, getting the hang of the other person's love language can be tricky. Plus, you have to want to learn it and do it. My dh's is acts of service. SO not me! But when I do manage to clean the house or get dinner on the table, he appreciates it very much! Now if he would only learn to surprise me with gifts . . . 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 I am getting better at the verbal thing, but there has been at least one occasion where I had to write and read from a list. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Marmalade Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 Chapman's model is incomplete. Food and music are also love languages. :D No like button, so I had to quote! Food is definitely my love language. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IfIOnly Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 Rabbit trail, our family is doing a love languages secret exchange for five weeks after the new year. We'll learn about a new love language together each week and draw a family member's name to secretly (although I'm sure we'll figure it out :)) love on that way for a week. Yay! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 (edited) You've already gotten a great tutorial, I would just add that it is completely normal for spouses to have different love languages. The key is to learn what the other person's is and be willing to express love in that language, even if it isn't how you want love expressed to you. For example, dh is touch and I am acts of service and quality time. As we spend time, I make sure to touch - lean my head on him, hold his hand, hug him when he comes home from work - any touch makes hime feel connected. My father's love language was gifts. I hate gifts. I mean, I really hate them. I hate to buy them, give them, receive them... the whole thing. As I became an adult, I learned to recognize his gifts (and total lack of any other interaction) were supposed to show me he loved me, and did my best to appreciate them. I also made sure to give him gifts, more than any other adult. I hated every minute of it, but it made him feel loved and that was my goal. Different love languages can be challenging, but if both people will recognize them and work at speaking the other person's love language, it can be overcome. Edited December 16, 2017 by Momto2Ns 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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