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WSJ: The Right Way for Parents to Help Anxious Children


MarkT
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Yeah, avoidance is a bad thing re anxiety. Doesn't mean anxious kids must go to school - but anxious kids must have gentle nudges to keep behaving in ways that moderate, and don't promote, anxiety.

 

I've done better on this with my 3rd kid than I did with my 1st.

 

I agree. It's a tough balance, but it can be done. It's really important to understand your own dc's tolerance for being in anxiety-inducing environments. There are ways to build this up without the dc needing to be out of the house at school all day. 

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Yeah, avoidance is a bad thing re anxiety. Doesn't mean anxious kids must go to school - but anxious kids must have gentle nudges to keep behaving in ways that moderate, and don't promote, anxiety.

 

I've done better on this with my 3rd kid than I did with my 1st.

Yes yes yes. Gentle exposure therapy has been one of the only ways I have ever successfully helped kids overcome anxiety. Often my biggest hurdle has been helping the parent see this as a benefit and that the kicking and pleading from their child, and the spike in anxiousness as first, is normal. Once I can convince the parent that it is worthwhile and they get on board the rapid improvement is incredible.

 

I truly know of no other long term way to truly treat anxiety. Often times anxiety gets exchanged from one thing to another or gets worse with just "talk" therapy. Parents can maintain anxiety without meaning too by carrying anxiety for their child's anxiety.

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It's a fine line to know when to let them struggle and when to help. Dd has OCD and some other anxiety issues have formed the last few months. Her therapist and psychiatrist, thankfully, do not feel we should have to deal with any kicking and pleading. The goal is to give her the tools to deal with what she is dealing with right now, but she doesn't have those tools yet so it's okay to alleviate some things while working on it so it's better in the future. She goes to ps and she does uncomfortable things daily but when she really starts struggling and asks for help, we listen. I push the school to help as well and I feel confident things will get better. 

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