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S/O How many hours do you work?


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It's hard to define this stuff I think. Like we talked about stuff like card games and sports with the kids. Now many working parents do these after hours and some view them as relaxation. For me because they are more of the same stuff I already do they often feel like work. Because if I'm doing what I want to do I would be reading a book in bed. But it's more "family time" than work. It's just not free to do whatever I want time.

 

And I can have time to myself. I don't HAVE to do morning Time and sometimes I don't. But school starts to feel very like drudgery without it. I do have to cook lunch because we just can't afford to buy lunch meat when I have a free supply of eggs. I do have to wash and I do have to help tidy.

 

So what happens practically is when I'm going well I "work" from around 8am to 9pm with a few small breaks. If you count everything I do to care for kids and keep the family running. Sometimes even longer. But then I get exhausted and drop stuff like morning time or housework or options for other activities come up. Or I steal time by being on my phone while my kids school. Or because stupid Singapore maths can't for the life of them schedule consistent length lessons one day we are doing school for two hours and another for 10 minutes. One day my dd takes 2 hours to finish a short spelling lesson and another day it's done in minutes. One day my darn cat pees on the floor or something else goes wrong and I have a major clean up to do. Other days I get caught up researching downloading or shopping for curriculum.

 

So realistically depending on my motivation levels and the demands of the day it can be anything from six to thirteen hours.

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Edited to add

 

Although I have spent time teaching my kids HOW to do household tasks over the years the executive function level means they still need a lot of micromanaging. They all have a list of jobs to do in the morning but if I don't check every single one they will leave something out. I have to help with bedroom cleanup or decluttering regularly. If we go out I have to check what they pack or we will be without stuff. I'm pretty sure I have some kind of executive function deficit which at least two of my kids have some of.

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I feel like I try to carve out a lot of "me" time, but work always sneaks in.  Then I try to carve out work time, but let myself get distracted by squirrels.  I think my inability to draw lines is what makes it all so stressful.

 

Outside of the house, I have meetings one weekday morning, participate (kids, teach, volunteer) in an all day co-op another weekday, and co-direct and teach in an all day co-op another weekday.  I try to reserve evenings and weekends for me/family stuff, but that would require squeezing regular homeschooling, all lesson planning and paperwork (co-op and homeschool,) and all director duties into 2.5 days.  So far, that hasn't happened.

 

That's before groceries, cooking, cleaning, laundry, holiday related tasks, errands, appointments, field trips, blah, blah, blah.

 

ETA: And we're not currently in our busy sports and activities period.

Edited by Carrie12345
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I think life as a mom is very different when your oldest is in middle school than when your oldest is in first grade. Just speaking from experience.

 

Like you, though, I made lots of little decisions along the way to help cut down on the stress for me. Ds went to public school for his 2nd grade year, but IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢m so not a morning person and I was beyond overwhelmed at that point in my life so I began teaching ds how to do things like feed himself breakfast and make his lunch. When he came back for homeschool for third grade feeding oneĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s self just carried over. Now all three of my kids make their own breakfast and lunch. IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢m solely responsible for dinner because IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢m usually the only adult around, but I have taught ds how to make some dinners. There are at least a couple of nights a month up to once a week where IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢m out of the house with my daughters until 7pm and ds stays home and makes dinner. Coming home to dinner has to be the nicest thing ever. Like revolutionary.

 

Up until a few years ago, I did most of the daily household chores until dh pointed out it was ridiculous and assigned it out to the kids. Now, if I want the whole house cleaned, I tell the kids to do it and go out for a long run. When I return the house is cleaned and if they bickered or complained about it while doing it, I didnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t have to listen to it. And the house is as clean as it would be if a 13yo, 10yo, and 8yo did it. I had to decide that was good enough. Sometimes, very rarely, I have a kid go back and redo something, but hey, they get better all the time as learning people do.

 

But otherwise, yes, the general rule is getting future adults lots of practice with life type skills and having everyone help out around the house because thatĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s also good practice for their future adult life. But, again, itĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s really different on the side of the age range weĂ¢â‚¬â„¢re on vs. with a first grader being your oldest. During those years it was very much an adult driven project and with younger ones and a baby on top I think the burnout can be real. ThereĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s a reason why my oldest went to public school for second grade, even if in hindsight I could have done something different,

 

I do have more downtime, but I wouldnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t call it free. I spend my downtime waiting on kids - waiting on them to finish a task, waiting on them to be ready for the next lesson, waiting on them to be done with practice, waiting on them while theyĂ¢â‚¬â„¢re at class, etc. And then driving them all over the place like an unpaid Uber. The waiting on them part is my least favorite part of my job. I thought IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢d enjoy it more, but two hours at Starbucks 45 minutes from home every week is not conducive to productive tasks (although I have planned my fair share of lessons that way). And the waiting on them at home part isnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t always conducive to productive things because my kids do better when IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢m a silent, still presence there in the same space.

 

And youĂ¢â‚¬â„¢re right, thereĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s something about that really and truly free time, without also being on call or waiting on someone that is infinitely appealing. And it is tough to feel like one Ă¢â‚¬Å“deservesĂ¢â‚¬ it. Is it right for me to complain when dh is out working all those hours? Dh would tell me thatĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s silly. I know because weĂ¢â‚¬â„¢ve had this conversation in the past. He didnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t think I should discount the role or mental/emotional labor in what he called my job as household facilitator. And heĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s somewhat right.

 

Right now weĂ¢â‚¬â„¢re in our less busy time so I try to find some extra quiet for myself before stuff ramps up again and IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢m schlepping a cart full of cookies up and down sidewalks in the middle of winter in Wisconsin as part of my unpaid part-time business as Girl Scout mom. Of all my jobs, this is one of my least favorite.

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Well, I work outside the home now, and I don't think that is what you were looking for.  I drive 45 min. each way for my job.  And I work from 8-4 technically, but usually don't get out until 5.  So, I leave the house at 7:15 and get home around 5:30-5:45pm.

 

When I homeschooled I wasn't really scheduled.  We did our basics, ate, cleaned, and I had a lot of down time.  I just did.  And we had activities almost every evening.....Monday- Scouts, Tuesday-Soccer, Wed-church, Thur-homeschool group, Friday-a different HS group, Sunday night youth group.

 

 

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But I find myself feeling guilty for wanting that time b/c I don't feel I'm working that hard these days. There is also the complication of my Mil needing me as a back-up, they live up the road so when she has to go somewhere I need to be home in case my fil needs anything(he has stage 4 cancer). 

 

I've been feeling a bit alone like I must be doing way less than others b/c it hasn't been that hard lately. Then again I also worked on simplifying b/c stress was killing me and I still can't handle much. So I need something for myself low-key(physically and mentally) and cheap....

 

 

So, do you feel you're working all day or you have a fair amount of time to yourself??

.I have a lot of time for myself during the day, and sometimes I want more. Sometimes I actually need more. I need to be reading a lot more than I currently have time for. I don't want to just take a day out of the week and read. I want to be reading every day for two hours. Just reading. I don't think I'll manage that, but I'm going to tweak the housekeeping schedule and see what I can find.

 

I don't feel guilty about wanting more time for myself at all. It's part of my personal goals to increase my personal time. If I wanted to run a marathon (realistically, a 10K) I wouldn't feel guilty about the hours I spent running, crosstraining, driving to find good road courses for training, time soaking my aching legs in the tub, would I? So I'm not going to feel bad about wanting two hours to sit on my porch whilst lost in a good book. Probably, I'll find an hour on Tuesdays and Thursdays on a light housekeeping day. 

 

Agree with the others that not having young, young children helps tremendously. I've gone from having no time when the boys were young, to more time when they were in elementary, to a lot more time when they hit upper elementary to multiple hours back-to-back where I'm not responsible for anything but putting words on a page. And I'm still dedicated to taking all decent weekends and going out somewhere to sit on the side of a lake or a river doing absolutely nothing while the boys paddle around in their kayaks. :D

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It's getting on my nerves to hear mothers say they feel guilty because they don't find parenting and homeschooling very hard or taxing or time consuming.

 

You know what that means? It means you have neurotypical, healthy children and the means to provide for them, and for yourself, without stress. It means you have adequate support in your life.

 

That's a *nice* thing. The kinds of words you are looking for are "lucky," "privileged," etc. Not "guilty."

 

Those who don't sound as relaxed as yourself have challenges that you don't have, but are probably equally good and competent as mothers. They also love and enjoy their children just as much.

 

Whew! I'm glad I got that off my chest. It's a new recurring theme on the forums, but the notion can go away now.

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I feel like I do very little work compared to busier seasons.

 

I have time to get up when I want, drink my coffee in bed and let the little girls sleep until they are rested. I ask them what they feel like for breakfast and I start cooking while they feed the pets.

 

We eat together, but IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢ll usually leave the dishes until later. Then I do a few pages of school with each kid. With my older kids, I did crafts for each dayĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s topic, but my younger ones hate doing them. They prefer to control their own crafting, so I let them.

 

I also donĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t spend a ton of time finding correlating library books. I require 1hour of independent reading each day. They pick their own books and get close to 25 nonfiction books from the library each week.

 

11 year old wears ear buds all day. She listens to history lectures and classical literature. She can listen while she cleans the chicken coop or sews or sweeps the floor.

 

I feed them again at 3:00 they get free time each day to draw or play together or do self-directed crafts and projects. IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢m free during that time. At 6:00, I take them to swim practice for 60 or 90 minutes depending on the day.

 

Then we come home, eat supper, watch an episode of a cooking show with dad and he reads to them and puts them to bed at 8:00.

 

Surpringly, I still spend quite a bit of time helping my adult kids with school. Middle daughter will send me a power point and ask me to tell me to help her make sure that she didnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t leave anything out.

 

My oldest will tell me her conference proposal is due at midnight. Does she need a better transition between paragraphs two and three. Also she is 16 words over her word count. Can I help her decide where to trim.

 

I expect to spend at least an hour on that today. But it feels like less work than playing a board gamewith kids.

 

Cooking takes up quite a bit of time because of food allergies but I listen to a good audio book and can usually turn it into an enjoyable activity.

 

Dh offen grills something for supper if he gets home before I do. In the summer, by adult kids cook supper every night and do a good amount of taking the younger kids to activities.

 

I feel like we have a really good life. Everyone gets real food, plenty of time to sleep every night, plenty of time to read and to exercise.

 

These are the things that I believe make for happy healthy humans.

 

IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢m fortunate that my kids do not crave screen time. So we do not have any power struggles about that. Left to their own devices, they will choose playing American Girls or gardening or sewing or making something out of the pine cones they find in the yard.

 

I find all of those activities more important for long term success both in and out of school than more and more seatwork.

 

Taking care of toddlers and babies is a full time job and then some. Homeschooling 2 elementary age kids isnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t for me, unless I insist on turning it into one.

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It's getting on my nerves to hear mothers say they feel guilty because they don't find parenting and homeschooling very hard or taxing or time consuming.

 

You know what that means? It means you have neurotypical, healthy children and the means to provide for them, and for yourself, without stress. It means you have adequate support in your life.

 

That's a *nice* thing. The kinds of words you are looking for are "lucky," "privileged," etc. Not "guilty."

 

Those who don't sound as relaxed as yourself have challenges that you don't have, but are probably equally good and competent as mothers. They also love and enjoy their children just as much.

 

Whew! I'm glad I got that off my chest. It's a new recurring theme on the forums, but the notion can go away now.

That is likely very true. I spent a year mired in profound depression that took almost a year of therapy and over a year of medication to fix. I routinely monitor myself, and take steps (like blackout curtains in the summer, exercise, time to rest and be, etc) because I don't want to ever go there again. Adequate support is something I'm very, very grateful for.

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Kids in high school at home and I work part-time. (By the way, elementary school age is the best time. In the jr. high/high school years activities ramp up and you feel like you live in your car.)

 

Part-time work is up to 20 hours a week but usually around 15 hours.

Me time is 2 hours in the morning (14 hours a week) to wake-up, eat breakfast, check my messages/social media, check my bujo and spend some time centering myself (usually knitting, watching something I enjoy that no one else likes, listening to music, etc.)

School including outside classes, extra things, seat-work and planning each week is 20 to 30 hours of my time. (This does include travel time, working with my kids on projects like sewing or meeting up with friends.)

Housework including cleaning, everyday chores, meals, etc. is another 10 hours a week.

I sleep on average 8-9 hours at night.

We do about 20 hours a week of family time (that's about 3 hours a night on average).

 

There is about 20 hours a week unaccounted for but it's probably time spent doing things for other people(finding stuff, helping someone with something, etc.) or in self-care tasks like showering, brushing teeth, eating, etc.

 

I feel exhausted most of the time but that's why my quiet time and self-care is so important.

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I was thinking recently about how nice it is to have kids at the age where they can do all the basics for themselves.  I just say "get up, you have xx minutes to get to the school bus" and they show up washed and dressed in time to eat a bit of food before leaving.  (I do whip up a small breakfast on school mornings due to time considerations.  It beats waking up earlier.)  And in the evening, "it's bedtime, go take a shower and I'll come tuck you in after xx minutes."  Of course they don't always jump the first time, but hey, I'm not wiping butts or washing hair etc.  If they have a problem such as can't find a pair of black socks, I have no guilt, because they could have planned better.  I feel like I do a lot less running around for them than I did even a year or two ago.  Which is good, because I don't want to do all that running any more.

 

House cleaning hasn't really changed much.  I ask my kids to pick up after themselves, but without frequent reminders, they don't do it.  I don't do much in their rooms any more, but I do have a goal to get in there and organize one last time, to theoretically set them up for success.  :)  I do purge items by the armful on a fairly regular basis, to hand down to the nieces and make room for new stuff.  All that said, on an average day I only spend maybe 20-30 minutes all together on house work.  More when I'm doing laundry, or when it's garbage day.  Since I enjoy house work and laundry, this doesn't usually even feel like "work" to me.

 

Maybe another half hour on average (daily) goes to personal / family finances, paperwork, extended family stuff, and making arrangements for future activities / appointments etc.  This is also a more positive than negative influence on my moods.

 

When it comes to cooking, this is not my thing.  I generally outsource this or make my kids do it.  I do just enough to keep us healthy-ish and to teach the kids how.  I would say my average daily time spent on food prep is 15-20 minutes.

 

I outsource most outdoor work and deep cleaning.  I just don't have time for it.

 

I spend 1-3 hours most days helping kids with homework.  I don't mind this, but it kind of is work.

 

I spend 0.5-3 hours per day driving the kids around for their activities and stuff.  Again, I don't mind it, but it does prevent me from doing anything else during those times.

 

I spend 20-30 minutes per week on volunteer / charity work.  Used to be a lot more, will probably grow in the future.

 

And then there is my full-time job, which takes up almost all of my remaining schedule.  The majority of my personal fun time is spent on the internet during breaks I probably shouldn't be taking.  Like right now.  :)

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I think that the early years with kids can be pretty overwhelming for most of us. Who enjoys being up all night with a cranky baby and all of the other just draining parts of having very young children?

 

If one or more of those children happens to have special needs, the exhausting phase is quite extended. Ask me how I know.

 

But there comes a point where you just have to choose what you want to spend your time on and what you really donĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t care about.

 

This is why these discussions can be so important. Sometimes we donĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t realize we are making a choice until we hear someone else say, Ă¢â‚¬Å“Well, I donĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t do that.Ă¢â‚¬

 

IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢m interested in when less is more.

 

Some of the adult kids from frankly neglectful families are just amazing. They are competent and able to find their own solutions. They do the hard tasks cheerfully and can be amazingly well read just due to what they chose to study in their down time.

 

On the other hand, I donĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t find the adult children of my type A friendĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s all of that interesting. I think back on their spotless homes and color coordinated homeschool shelves and I see that the mothers were working hard, but it didnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t really translate into the results that they had hoped for.

 

What is always tricky is finding the balance.

 

I spend plenty of time with my kids. The most fun I ever have is being together as a family.

 

That doesnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t keep mean I need to be a slave to them.

 

That doesnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t mean that they canĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t chip in and contribute to the good of the family.

 

It just means that the less time that we spend on drudgery, the more time we can spend having fun together.

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Our kids are grown now and I spend about 20 hours a week taking care of the house and doing other house related errands.  I also spend 15 or so hours a week doing home renovations. 

 

Dd has four kids just like I did, and hers range from age 3 to age 10.  I look at how she manages to keep them all clean, well fed with made from scratch meals, home schools the oldest three, keeps the house clean,  hosts a weekly Bible study, and quilts. In addition she is a pastor's wife so there are other obligations associated with that. I see how she does all of this and makes it look easy, though I know she is exhausted and struggles a lot. But she's doing it!  She is a way better mom and wife than I was.  I just never managed to even fake making it look easy. My kids were the ones who showed up at their homeschool class wearing slippers because I didn't notice they weren't wearing shoes when we left the house.  I did the best I could, but I just never really figured it all out.  So I totally sympathize with those of you who are struggling.  I stumbled through parenting from 1983 until about 2006 when my youngest was about 12.  I do not miss those days. 

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I have four kids ages 8-17(a senior). From 8-12 I am teaching or interacting with someone about school at all times. Then lumch-they get there own but I am present and interacting particularly with the older kids who get less of me in the morning. From 1-2 it is suppose to be my quiet time, but my 12 year old often needs help then. At 2 I am reviewing with older kids or helping them with something, making sure the younger two have finished their independent work, doing some housework or paperwork or prepping for the highschool English and history classes I lead on Thursdays. Then around three we usually have an activity drop off or a doctor appt or library run. then dinner prep and eating, then maybe another activity run or I am done. Unless I have a book club book for the bookclubs I lead or work for my seniors college apps, I usually take the evenings off.

 

(Now, this is days we are home. I won't spell out co-op days bc the hours are the same. )

 

So, between teaching and housework I am actively working 90% of the days from 8-5 and then 5:30-6. I guess you can take an hour off for lunch as I could go to my room and hibernate if I wanted.

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How many hours do I work?  Off and on all day from the moment I wake up to the  moment I go to bed.  And even when I'm in bed I'm on call, though I am rarely called to duty like I was when my kids were newborns.  But if my teenage daughter wakes me up in the middle of the night with heart problems, like she did multiple times this summer, I'm instantly on duty.  (Dh sleeps through it but that's another issue.) 

 

My schedule varies from day to day as needs vary from day to day.  And how long it takes me to address those needs varies from day to day as my own mobility and stamina varies from day to day.  Even on a good day, it takes me longer to do tasks than it takes most people.  Depending on when you dropped in, you might find me hard at work or you might find me curled up in my armchair.  That's my version of the fetal position when pain and fatigue hit me particularly hard. There is no moral high ground attached to working harder at life or less hard.  It is what it is.

 

I choose to do some things the "easy way" because it fits my famiy's needs and stage of life and personality.  I choose to do some things the "hard way" because it fits my family's needs and stage of life and personality.  I don't want a bare bones existence and do not want my house to be what feels to me, to be sterile.  But I recognize that my more cluttery decorating style and life would feel horrible to others.  (Now things are more cluttery than even I like and I'm working on that but that is a result of years of chronic illness and again, it is what it is.)  I cook longer than some of you because we are a celiac household and I need (or want) to make certain family favorites that just are not available ready made. 

 

I have chosen very purposefully to do things the hard way when it comes to schooling.  My homeschooling philosophy is very hands on and individualized and I want to milk every drop of learning that we can milk out of life.  I have 2E kids who would not let me do otherwise.  They also have needed certain supports that have been time intensive in the early years but I think have led to success in later years.  At least that is what I've been told by "the experts" (but who knows for sure, really.)  All I know is that I wouldn't want to do it the other way and find that it hindered my kids in some way.  Other families with other needs and other philosophies and other opportunities would do otherwise.  We have not had the money for co-ops or most outsourcing so I "pay" in time spent directly teaching even my high schoolers.  I find it a challenge that I (mostly) enjoy. 

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:grouphug: your in-laws need your help at this point in time. It is just more emotionally draining to be always on call compared to scheduled busy times.

 

It is more tiring when DS13 falls sick as he is quiet and doesnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t complain. So I have to check on him to make sure he doesnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t run a fever. Our this academic year is light and my kids donĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t need much help. Next year my oldest is in 9th grade so I am doing the budgeting now. IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢m also looking at summer camps. I need that break and they need that break from each other.

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I find the question very difficult to answer. First, different seasons of parenting have different requirements. Second, it is not clear what in the context is considered "work".

For example, is time spent ensuring children receive active time outdoors with adequate supervision work or not? Does the answer changed based on whether the activity they do is something the parent enjoys or not? When the kids were little, we spent several hours each day at the park. It was time I then could not use for anything else, but it was a priority for us and it was healthy for me to be outside. Spending an entire weekend day on a nature hike with children, is that work or fun? OTOH, taking kids to sports and waiting there, is that work? What if I can read a book while waiting? What if I run errands in the meantime?

 

How does parenting an infant factor in? Does the night count as non-work time, and only the interruptions for nursing every 2 hours count? Or does the entire sleep deprived night shift count as time on duty?

 

I cannot answer, because I never tallied the hours. In certain seasons, I have spent most of my waking off job hours with my children. Some of them on enjoyable tasks, some on daily chores. Some were a choice, some were nonnegotiable.

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It's getting on my nerves to hear mothers say they feel guilty because they don't find parenting and homeschooling very hard or taxing or time consuming.

 

You know what that means? It means you have neurotypical, healthy children and the means to provide for them, and for yourself, without stress. It means you have adequate support in your life.

 

That's a *nice* thing. The kinds of words you are looking for are "lucky," "privileged," etc. Not "guilty."

 

Those who don't sound as relaxed as yourself have challenges that you don't have, but are probably equally good and competent as mothers. They also love and enjoy their children just as much.

 

Whew! I'm glad I got that off my chest. It's a new recurring theme on the forums, but the notion can go away now.

This is a sad trend, I agree. I want moms to feel amazing when they are handling things and feeling like they still have time to know themselves. But, I think there has been a lot more honesty recently on these boards about how tricky and hard it is to raise non-NT kids, which is awesome for people like me, but much less awesome for people who do feel competent and relatively relaxed. I spent many years feeling like something was wrong with ME because I couldnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t even begin to approach the life I saw my friends managing (NT kids) or the lives of so many people on these boards (oh, I wanted to be like those people who had it mostly together). ThatĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s not my life.

 

If you are handling your life with reasonable stress levels and doing the best you can and striving to do better in your weak areas, you deserve to feel good about it!

 

If you are falling apart most minutes of your week but doing the best you can and striving to do better in your weak areas, you also deserve to feel good about it.

 

IMHO, the only real metric of motherhood is whether you are trying to improve as a person and help your kids grow into themselves as human beings. So, if you are doing that with relatively reasonable stress levels and free time, yay! IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢m beyond thrilled for you and you deserve to feel good!

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It's getting on my nerves to hear mothers say they feel guilty because they don't find parenting and homeschooling very hard or taxing or time consuming.

 

You know what that means? It means you have neurotypical, healthy children and the means to provide for them, and for yourself, without stress. It means you have adequate support in your life.

 

That's a *nice* thing. The kinds of words you are looking for are "lucky," "privileged," etc. Not "guilty."

 

Those who don't sound as relaxed as yourself have challenges that you don't have, but are probably equally good and competent as mothers. They also love and enjoy their children just as much.

 

Whew! I'm glad I got that off my chest. It's a new recurring theme on the forums, but the notion can go away now.

Absolutely!

 

There is no competition to have either the hardest/busiest/most "doing" life OR the most relaxed, smooth running, easily managed life.

 

We've all got our own strengths and weaknesses (often two sides of the same coin) and our own sets of both challenges and blessings.

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Now I don't work very much at all.  It is hard to pick a number.  My kids are grown and usually not in the house.  But even with grown kids, I have periods when I am working for hours doing something for them like researching some particular subject or doing hours of phone calling in place of them.  I consider myself retired but I am more retired than I intended to be due to my health.  I had intended to spend most of my retired working hours volunteering in various ways.  I am presently unable to do hardly any volunteering and don't know when I will be able to again.  I do basic chores around the house though I do have a cleaner who comes in every two weeks.   I do some gardening.  I do some of the cooking.  I do much of the research our family needs.  But my day to day health is so variable that I can't even describe a typical week.

 

As to the poster who talked about the kids from a more neglectful environment being more interesting than ones from perfectly organized households--  I taught my kids both at home and with co-ops and outside lessons.  Never was supremely organized and due to my health, kids had to step up their responsibilities around the house.  All three of my kids were 2E.  Even without organizational perfection and mother who was not physically able to do as much as many parents, my kids have turned out well- all interesting, interested, pleasant adults who all feel responsible to make the world around them better. I know I stopped worrying as much about what I was doing compared to others when a totally relaxed homeschool family had their first child get accepted to military academy.  I looked around and saw that more relaxed parents were turning out successful kids.  It led me to feel better about being more relaxed-  didn't mean we didn't do math or neglected other subjects but the fact that my youngest didn't end up doing three different state histories and I really don't care is more like I am talking about.  We never learn enough and so the goal has to be to produce children who like to learn.  We did that and I am satisfied.

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FTR I'm not out to win any motherhood contests, that is so the opposite of how I operate. I'm just trying keeping my head above water. The organization/cleaning stuff is relatively easy at this stage but that isn't all there is to it but it seems I didn't convey that thought well considering some of the responses I got.

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I work from 7:30 am to 11:30 (bedtime) each night and am often up  in the night.  Homeschooling takes 6 hours each day, house/life work takes 4-6 depending on errands.  I volunteers roughly 15 hours per week, so that gets fit in there some where too.  I do not find this stage of life easy at all and would love to hear your tricks.

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