Moxie Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 Them-What do you want for your birthday?? Me-A clean house, some quiet time, alone. Them-OK, here’s a gift card/necklace/IOU for some home project I have no plans of actually doing, now the whole family is going out to dinner. I’m no longer faking enthusiasm for this ritual. Please, just forget the whole day. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 Doesn't sound like your other half is quite understanding what you mean. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhotoGal Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 My dh gave me a peephole one year with the promise to install it. We moved out and sold that house, so I guess I can assume he isn't going to get around to actually doing it... :P 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 My dh gave me a peephole one year with the promise to install it. We moved out and sold that house, so I guess I can assume he isn't going to get around to actually doing it... :P A few years ago he gave me a tile and a promise to redo our bathroom. Uhhh, I pay the bills, you don’t even know who holds our mortgage, a new bathroom isn’t an option. But, it’s the thought that counts?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 Them-What do you want for your birthday?? Me-A clean house, some quiet time, alone. Them-OK, here’s a gift card/necklace/IOU for some home project I have no plans of actually doing, now the whole family is going out to dinner. I’m no longer faking enthusiasm for this ritual. Please, just forget the whole day. For the price of all that stuff and dinner, they could buy you a spring cleaning from a service! I get it. My husband is almost 50. He’s not gonna wake up one day and decide to clean the house. However, if I handed him a card/brochure and said I WANT THIS SERVICE he’d likely arrange it . . . or at least not care about paying for it if I arranged it 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 For the price of all that stuff and dinner, they could buy you a spring cleaning from a service! I get it. My husband is almost 50. He’s not gonna wake up one day and decide to clean the house. However, if I handed him a card/brochure and said I WANT THIS SERVICE he’d likely arrange it . . . or at least not care about paying for it if I arranged it It is not really HIM it is THEM. My three oldest are plenty old enough to voluntarily run a vacuum. Nope, buying something at Target is way easier and gets them off the hook. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 I'm sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 It is not really HIM it is THEM. My three oldest are plenty old enough to voluntarily run a vacuum. Nope, buying something at Target is way easier and gets them off the hook. Housework is not really a fun gift to give. It is more fun to wander through Target. ;) But why don't you parcel out chores regularly so it gets done. :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 Yeah. I get it. They're making it about what they want to give, not what you want to get, which doesn't celebrate you at all. :grouphug: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 Buy yourself something YOU want. Or take time to yourself and ignore housework. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 I'm with you- especially on the whole "taking mom out to dinner" for birthday and Mother's Day. That's a treat for everyone and I'm the one who keeps the checkbook so I'm the one thinking about the cost and that we really could have done something else with that money. But gifts are not a love language for everyone here so we just kind of skip the whole gifting thing and we have tended to go out for everyone's birthdays so that is just becoming standard and not some big special thing for mom. I get it though-I have a hard time faking appreciation for a gift when you won't even put away your laundry or whatever I've been requesting. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest2 Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 (edited) Sorry, I missed a similar post upthread. Next year when I asked, I plan to be ready to hand out info on gift certs for Merry Maids or a local place. Also I have a second birthday just for me. I take myself out to lunch or could go with friends because I take the day off of school to celebrate my second birthday . I like to journal and be a bit introspective about how I am using the time that I have here. It helps having this second day. I can enjoy the first birthday with family dinner and acitivities much more...even if it all seems more family oriented than celebrating my birthday. Sharing in case it is helpful for anyone else:) Edited December 10, 2017 by Silver Brook 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 I went away for my birthday this year with my best friend. It was only 3 days but it was magical. I highly recommend it! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 I recommend you give yourself what you want for your birthday. Hire a maid and tell your kids/husband to be there when she arrives, then leave the house and have your alone time at a theater/coffee shop/nail salon. Or all three. :) I got tired of my kids refusing to give me the Mother's day I wanted (which was basically for them to not be assholes for one whole day- the pressure was too much!) so my sister and I did our own Mother's day this year and it was awesome. :) My kids loved it because they were totally off the hook and I loved it because I was no longer counting on other people to make the day into something it was never going to be. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 On the bright side, they remembered your birthday, took the time to shop for a gift, and wanted to do something special for you by taking you out to dinner. :) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 PS. I'm sorry you're not having a good day. :( Is it okay to wish you a Happy Birthday? :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 I recommend you give yourself what you want for your birthday. Hire a maid and tell your kids/husband to be there when she arrives, then leave the house and have your alone time at a theater/coffee shop/nail salon. Or all three. :) I got tired of my kids refusing to give me the Mother's day I wanted (which was basically for them to not be assholes for one whole day- the pressure was too much!) so my sister and I did our own Mother's day this year and it was awesome. :) My kids loved it because they were totally off the hook and I loved it because I was no longer counting on other people to make the day into something it was never going to be. One Mother’s Day when my son was 5 or 6, he asked that night if Mother’s Day was over yet. When I told him we still had an hour left he burst into tears. Apparently the pressure of being good All Day Long was just to exhausting for him. It’s hysterical now. It was a good day all around, but I didn’t realize it took so much out of him to behave himself. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 One Mother’s Day when my son was 5 or 6, he asked that night if Mother’s Day was over yet. When I told him we still had an hour left he burst into tears. Apparently the pressure of being good All Day Long was just to exhausting for him. It’s hysterical now. It was a good day all around, but I didn’t realize it took so much out of him to behave himself. Aww, that's so sweet that he was trying so hard. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 Well, the necklace has been received but at least it isn’t heart-shaped and he baked a cake which has never happened so i’m calling it a win. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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