I was p!ssed.
I didn't do the work to get DD21 into school. I mean, I took her on college visits, made sure she was aware of testing dates, deadlines, I paid test fees, etc etc. BUT....it was more than she did it, and I helped, vs I "worked, toiled," and so on. For my DD21, school was about HER...and not about me. As such, she carried the bulk of the responsibility, not me, and while I was part of the process....it wasn't my process.
Anyway, she had a specific major she wanted. She also had a state scholarship that required she go to a state school....so that limited her choice already. Then, she had a specific major, that despite the fact that all of us check the weather every day, that isn't all that common among colleges.....turns out that there are only THREE schools in the state that offer meteorology.
In her sophmore year, she changed to GIS. And I was P.O.'d. Big time.
BUT....BUT....my anger had NOTHING to do with the school she chose, the help I provided in supporting her college quest.
I was P.O'd because I believed.....and still do....that her boyfriend at the time convinced her that she wasn't smart enough to do the math classes required for meteorology. In fact, within 2 months of dumping him, she was talking about her prospects for getting a masters in meteorology. My kid's dream, from the time she was like 8, was to do field work in weather.
In fact, one of the reasons for choosing Ball State over Purdue was the storm chase team Ball State offered. And this past summer....she DID the storm chase team. And LOVED it. LOVED it. Have you ever seen someone lit up by their passion? Yeah.
My DD did a lot of research before making her switch. And the truth is, GIS expands her options for job prospects, still allows her to work with the NWS, and hits on what she has enjoyed most about working in the weather industry (she has done a job shadow of a broadcast meteorologist, an internship at the NWS her senior year, multiple workshops, camps, etc. This was her goal and she pursued it with a passion.) She loves the computer aspect of it. The maps and models, etc. So I am truly proud of her for making sure she could be happy with that route.
I just felt like she took "the easy way out" and did so because her BF convinced her she wasn't good enough to do the work required to actually achieve her dream.
When she told me....I admit, I lost my cool. I screamed and hollared and threw a fit.
But that was it. One time. She presented her arguments reasonably and with plenty of evidence and research (aka, she had practical and reasonable reasons....not just a whim.) But I KNEW........I KNEW....what was going on behind it. And as such, I told her.....I am going to say my piece, and then be done. And I did. Because, ultimately, it REALLY IS, her life. It's not my money. It's not my career. I have wasted nothing. All I wanted was for her to follow her dreams.
I will say....her call to me about her possibilities for a masters in meteorology reminded me....just because she gets a BA in whatever, that doesn't mean she can't follow her dreams later. She CAN still get a masters in meteorology. Even if that's 10 yrs from now. I KNOW that what you chose at 22 doesn't dictate the rest of your life......I had her at 17, DH graduated college at 45, I got a teaching degree at 22 and haven't taught in a classroom setting in more than a decade, my BIL was finishing his final exams as my sister was in labor with my nephew......I KNOW...KNOW...life throws lots and lots of twists and turns at you. To paraphrase a STUPID commercial for a for profit college around here....."Living Life Is Never Easy, And It's Never A Straight Line." Just because she has set aside the "BA in meteorology" path......that doesn't mean she can't eventually end up at her end goal......just because she doesn't follow a straight line, that doesn't mean she can't get there.
And even then, if she ends up with some great career in GIS that has nothing to do with meteorology but ultimately fulfills her...THAT is completely fine too.
I just want her to make these choices because that's what she wants, not because her BF encourages her to be...................................................................basic. She is anything but basic.