A year or more behind from family emergencies, what do I do?

[OrganicMom]

Hi!
 

So, I've had some thoughts about asking the experienced parents here about what to do when you find yourself quite behind? We are at the point in all of our curriculum where we would have been a year ago. We had two emergency moves within 1 year, toxic mold encounter, legal battles, illness, sold and bought a new vehicle and so much more, including a very personal family emergency on top of the other events listed. This past year we got 6 months behind, when in the years prior I was battling chronic illness that already had us about 6 months behind too. So, all the missed days together, and the roughest year, got us an entire year behind. I don't like being behind. This is very hard for me. I want to just be present in the moment with my kids and give them what they need as they need it. 

What do I do practically?
 

I don't want to feel constantly behind. My son has had to restart reading lessons multiple times. At this point we are still getting settled into our newest apartment. It is a good safe and healthy space, but we are recovering from the family emergency too. The kids need structure so we are beginning to put that back into place. I want to get us moved in first, but I feel so unsettled only doing that b/c I have everything I'm behind in screaming at me at once. I understand it is best to only do one thing at a time, and we cannot be where we are not....I do not want to stress over this. I want to move forward from a state of rest and love and order. 

I just want to pick up where we left off starting with one subject and then keeping adding the next ones in. My daughter was supposed to be starting 6th grade this fall, and my son 4th, but really my daughter is more in 5th and my son is more below 3rd grade in his skills. I don't know if we should just abandon the title of grades and announcing beginning and ending grades anymore and instead just have a percentage complete before graduating high school, or something like that.... this is what i mean practically too...

We tend to school year round, but in the past we have had to take time off that we would have had off in the summer and for holidays for other emergencies, except this year they were all used up and MUCH more. 

I'm thinking it may take a few years to "catch-up"

Thanks in advance for any help. (I also posted this on Sonlight Forums, we are using Bookshark for History and Lit only)

ETA: Daughter just turned 12 last week and son is 9.5 years old - we are ready to work consistently 

Edited November 21, 2017 by OrganicMom

[LinRTX]

Well, my suggestion would be to concentrate on the reading, math and writing. Everything else is just the icing on the cake. If you spend the year working on math and reading (with some writing added later) you should be fine. As you have time add in reading (either aloud or assigned to them) in non fiction on history and science. Maybe watch a few documentaries. There are several DVDs at our library that are aimed at history and science topics for children. You will be fine.

[three4me]

I personally would continue to call them whatever grade they a e based on their birthdays, and then just work with them wherever they are at. Focus on math and language arts. If they're quick learners you could accelerate where you can, otherwise just keep moving forward!

[2_girls_mommy]

We had a year of having a baby and 3 sibling deaths of mine in one 9 mo. period. I found out I was pregnant, and my brother died the next week in a freak car accident. I didn't even tell anyone I was pregnant until after the funeral, as I didn't want to take attention away from that. Then within 8 weeks my little sister got sick and passed 8 weeks after that. By then I was 6 mos pregnant. We were still in that fog and somehow got through Thanksgiving and Christmas when i remembered I was about to have a baby and had nothing ready. So my family and church planned a big shower. Then my step brother who had been sick for years passed a week before the shower. His funeral was 2 days before the shower, and baby came (surprisingly healthy after all of that stress) 2 weeks later. I know a bad year. 

 

We muddled through 4th and 6th grade that year. Kids kept up what they could when I was dealing with family business. I made the most out of times we were home. We got creative for English. One dd did several girl scout badges that she had had her eye on that required a lot of writing. After baby was born and we had had a few months to adjust we finished the year with a big bang and did a big history project/presentation that covered as many subjects as possible to feel like we got some of that in.  Altogether from that year we got behind too. There wasn't anything I could do about it. They managed to keep up a couple classes that they did for co-op- science and latin. But our at home subjects, math and English suffered the most. We just kept going.  I was very thankful to be honest that they didn't have to try to go to school and keep up grades with all that we had going on. Nobody could have kept up good grades with all of that loss. These were people we were very close to. I was so thankful they could be a part of it all and mourn as needed and be with family. 

 

I had originally planned for the older to do algebra in 8th grade. Because of that year, we didn't get to it until 9th. In the end that wasn't a big deal. We worked through the summers to get her there. On the English books, we just kept moving forward too. I call them whatever grade they are, but use whatever books I need to. We have worked over some summers to get current. I have skipped chapters at the ends of books or that don't seem as necessary. My 8th grader is now in the 6th grade English text. It is R&S. That is fine for 8th grade. It is more grammar than any public school goes through. My 10th grader is in the 9/10 book. I  skipped one of the texts for her, and she did fine moving up to the next grade level. I will do the same for the middle schooler as she enters high school next year. I will put her into the 8th grade book next year, skipping the 7th. That still gives her time to work through the 9/10 books before graduation or DE classes.  She is where she needs to be in math at this point too. 

 

[EKS]

I agree with Linda in TX--focus on reading, math, and writing.  In fact, if your son is not reading fluently yet, I would make that your tippy top priority.  

[Melissa in Australia]

:grouphug:

[homemommy83]

I am so sorry for all of the loss you have endured as of late. I went through something similar a few years ago, but the deaths were preceded by two years of living in hospitals on and off between family members. I lost my father, mother, and grandmother within a year and had a new baby during all of this. During that time our family was also dealing with unemployment, but the Lord helped us through.

 

I agree with everyone else, just focus heavily on reading, writing, and math. A strong few years of Rod and Staff English, Spelling, and Math really will strengthen a child across the board. I would add a silent reading your daily as well. Sorry this is short, I am answering on a kindle. God Bless your family.

 

Brenda

[Tanaqui]

That's a rough series of events!

 

I think missing a single year is not that enormous in the grand scheme of things, especially if your kids aren't in high school yet. You don't want to keep doing it, but if you're certain that you're back on track now, it's okay to just pick up where you are and not try to play catch-up with where you thought you ought to be. Lots of kids who don't homeschool repeat a year here or there. It's not huge.

 

I'd spend this year really focusing on the basics. Everything else is a bonus. Just work on those three Rs, and toss in other things as their interest leads them - always, always with a focus on reading and writing about them if possible!

[RootAnn]

"Practically," I would drop your panic and focus on today. I don't know if you are a list maker, but I'd either end each day with tomorrow's list or start the day with a list. (I do best with ending the day with a list so I know what to do once I get up the next day.) I'd do one subject with each kid and try to get one "move in" task done each day. If you still have energy and time, do another subject with each kid. I agree that you need to focus on reading with your son and I'd focus on math with your daughter. Then, add in writing for your daughter and math for your son. Try to keep this up through the holidays / end of the year.

 

First of the year, your move in stuff should be done (or close to done) if you consistently did one thing (one box each day or one task in an area each day). Switch to chores & upkeep - making sure the kids have some one thing to do everyday, too.

 

By then, you should be less overwhelmed and be able to consistently get math, reading, handwriting (son-if needed), and writing done for both kids. You can add in read alouds and gradually other things as you have the energy and time. But, top priority are those "three Rs" and not getting all freaked out about where everyone is compared to where you think they should be.

[Ausmumof3]

It depends on what you mean by behind I think.

 

If you mean you haven't read all the science or history stuff from sonlight for elementary ages I wouldn't worry too much. It's pretty heavy anyway and many people skip bits or move it around. I spread a core over two years once and that was about eight.

 

If you mean behind in Maths and Writing, I'd work as hard as you can to remediate that starting now. Commit to doing the three Rs every week day no matter what. When you hit stuff that is easy or the kids already know try to make up a bit of ground.

[freesia]

I agree. I would also suggest considering a standardized test now or in the spring.  They may not be as behind as you think.  For various reasons I tend to think of my 8 year old as behind--she is behind where I want her to be.  If I pull back, I realize she isn't really behind she is solidly average for her age right now.

[lllll]

I would just keep plugging away, doing the next thing, slowly and steadily.  Forget about grade levels and being 'behind' - especially considering the ages of your kids right now.  It's probably more productive to focus on the content and reestablishing routines and such, versus the more artificial things like grade levels and 'behind' (behind what???).  Your plan sounds fine to me.

 

Also, I don't think of all that time as 'lost'.  I'm sure your kids learned all kinds of real-life things during that time.  Their memories - good and bad - of that time period will be so rich and valuable to them when they're older.  You might be surprised what kinds of peculiar things kids treasure from their pasts.  One of my grown kids recently told me she had wonderful memories of my rousing them all out of their beds early in the morning, announcing that 'Today is a work day.  We're doing X, Y, and Z, and to give us some extra energy for all those chores, I've bought some ice cream, etc.'   (What the kids heard ....  "No school today!!!' ) 

 

Enjoy your new apartment, explore the area, and take time to recover.  Start the school back slowly.  Ignore those voices screaming at you and robbing you of your joy.  They'll calm down once they realize you aren't taking the bait.  ;)  

 

:grouphug:

Edited November 22, 2017 by _______

[Storygirl]

Are you wanting to fit in all of the things in your signature? I agree with others that that is too much and that you should focus on catching up basic skills. I love a literature rich curriculum, but I don't think Sonlight is your best choice right now. Pick one reading/LA program and one math program for each child. Spelling if they need it; if they are natural spellers, skip spelling for the rest of this year. Have a readaloud time each day that you do as a group. You can cover history and science with videos, as others have mentioned, or perhaps choose some things in those categories that they can read alone while you work with the other child.

 

If you don't have a typical schedule for the day, establish a start time, stick to it, and do schoolwork first. Then do your other tasks after lunch.

 

:grouphug: