bettyandbob Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 (edited) a couple weeks ago I told you about my latest interview and not getting the job. A friend said to start following up with people I interview with and find out where I might fall short. So I scheduled and appointment for a review of the latest with a person on the panel who I knew was the final decision maker. I also contacted a guy who was on the panel for interviews I had last summer. That guy happens to be my neighbor. He doesn't work at the place I was interviewing, but he has a strong expertise so he was brought in. For those positions the ultimate people hired had been people who had held the positions before in other places working for my neighbor. I know the people hired had more experience than me so not a big disappointment. My neighbor said I interviewed well and he was disappointed I didn't apply at his facility recently (I didn't apply because the pay was significantly less for a full time position than I make now, but I didn't tell him that.) Back to the recent job. The review felt like a series of personal attacks. I really pride myself in my professional behavior, so it was jarring. Additionally, the panel interview had felt quite positive so it was surprising that in the review I was getting so much negative. When it was done I was angry. I had taken notes and told dh about it. When I got home late that night (had to go to work after review) dh pointed out some themes in what was said to me. dh is much more intuitive. To understand the background, you need to know my boss at my main part time job is the ex of the person I met with. This person has always treated my very professionally and has been happy with my work -- I had a performance review a few weeks ago. So, I had reason to believe that personal issues would not come in to play. Umm, I was wrong. Here are the themes of the hour long meeting: You aren't committed You are bad at relationships I can't count on you Oh my. Once dh pointed that out. I started laughing. Just a little transfer aggression. It's still surprising that this person said this because of the general professional behavior. I suspect this person doesn't even realize they did this. This person could have said some very general "lots of qualified people blah, blah, blah", but she really went personal. The position would have had me working in much more contact with her than I do now. I suspect she knows I'm good, but wants me at a distance with her own personal issues. That relationship broke up 2 - 3 years ago. And yes, my boss at my main job did awful stuff. Still I started working part time for this person after the break up and she knew who else I worked for. I just thought all this time she was keeping work separate. I feel better knowing it had NOTHING to do with me. I should not have applied. It was just such a good job and the highest salary I've seen. I could have used that. Anyway, so bizarre. I was really starting to question my abilities and my character. Edited November 21, 2017 by Diana P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 My husband is often asked to conduct interviews. The stuff he asks I find bizarre. He is given zero guidance in terms of interviewing btw. LOL What is also commonly the case is they have made up their mind who they will hire already and often just go through the motions. (annoying if you ask me) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 (edited) a couple weeks ago I told you about my latest interview and not getting the job. A friend said to start following up with people I interview with and find out where I might fall short. So I scheduled and appointment for a review of the latest with a person on the panel who I knew was the final decision maker. I'm surprised you got feedback at all. Most large companies with functional HR or legal departments prohibit their employees from giving interview feedback for fear of lawsuits. It is so easy to think that you didn't get the job because of something you said, but I've heard all kinds of crazy, random reasons interviewees don't get jobs: hiring manager leaves, and process needs to restart from scratch with new person; sudden and unexpected hiring freezes from way on top, etc. etc. etc. Edited November 21, 2017 by GGardner 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted November 21, 2017 Author Share Posted November 21, 2017 I'm surprised you got feedback at all. Most large companies with functional HR or legal departments prohibit their employees from giving interview feedback for fear of lawsuits. It is so easy to think that you didn't get the job because of something you said, but I've heard all kinds of crazy, random reasons interviewees don't get jobs: hiring manager leaves, and process needs to restart from scratch with new person; sudden and unexpected hiring freezes from way on top, etc. etc. etc. Actually, they said they would give feedback upfront. Other people have encouraged me to ask for feedback, so it may not be that uncommon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 Well, I would generically say that it's nice they took the time and it is natural some of it would be negative. But that is a very interesting pattern. It's like she was interviewing her ex and not you. I wonder if she suspects her ex had (or has) something going on with you. I'm sorry that worked out so unproductive for you, but hopefully you can laugh about it in the future. It truly is bizarre. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 Then as good as that job looked, if she is struggling with those personal feelings toward you, working with her much more closely might not have been as positive as it looked from the outset. Keep on looking...somebody is going to appreciate your skills! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 Well, I would generically say that it's nice they took the time and it is natural some of it would be negative. But that is a very interesting pattern. It's like she was interviewing her ex and not you. I wonder if she suspects her ex had (or has) something going on with you. I'm sorry that worked out so unproductive for you, but hopefully you can laugh about it in the future. It truly is bizarre. That is my thought.....that she suspects her ex was involved with OP. And as the Xwife of a serial cheater I can tell you there was a time I felt like every woman I knew might have slept with my then husband. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted November 21, 2017 Author Share Posted November 21, 2017 (edited) That is my thought.....that she suspects her ex was involved with OP. And as the Xwife of a serial cheater I can tell you there was a time I felt like every woman I knew might have slept with my then husband.LOL the idea that I would be a source of an affair is just funny to me. I'm 15 years older than ex and a bit overweight. Ex is still involved with the person he had an affair with who is 14 years younger than ex and definitely has a figure. Edited November 21, 2017 by Diana P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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