If you don't drink alcohol for religious reasons (particularly if you're Muslim)

[Daria]

Will you eat things made with alcohol, assuming it's "cooked off".

 

We have a friend coming for Thanksgiving who is Muslim.  I know he doesn't do pork or alcohol, but will do meat that isn't Halal.

 

We just had other people join our festivities, so we might need a second pie, and I know that my brother (one of the extra people) really likes the chocolate bourbon pecan pie at Whole Foods.  I'm wondering if my friend would eat it.

 

Note: I know I could serve it, and he could just not eat it.  We'll have sour cream apple pie and ice cream too, but my preference would be to buy/cook things that everyone can eat. Picking another pie isn't a hardship.  

[frugalmamatx]

It really depends on personal choice, tbh. I would ask him to confirm. Or pick another pie to be on the safe side. 

[Catwoman]

Can you ask your friend? Some people are stricter than others about these things.

 

And that pie sounds delicious!

[Heidi]

I don't drink for religious reasons, but I would eat the pie. However I'm pretty sure many of my LDS friends would not. Just ask.

[Daria]

Can you ask your friend? Some people are stricter than others about these things.

 

And that pie sounds delicious!

 

I'm pretty certain that if I ask him, one of three things will happen.

 

1) He'll say it's fine, and it will be fine and he'll eat the pie.

 

2) He'll say it's fine, and it would be fine but he'll decide he likes apple pie better and eat that.

 

3) He'll say it's fine, but it really won't be so he'll pretend he likes apple pie better.

 

I don't know how to tell 2 from 3.

[Rosie_0801]

I'm pretty certain that if I ask him, one of three things will happen.

 

1) He'll say it's fine, and it will be fine and he'll eat the pie.

 

2) He'll say it's fine, and it would be fine but he'll decide he likes apple pie better and eat that.

 

3) He'll say it's fine, but it really won't be so he'll pretend he likes apple pie better.

 

I don't know how to tell 2 from 3.

 

It's not your responsibility to distinguish between 2 and 3. People telling white lies are absolving you of responsibility for things like that.

[marbel]

Rosie is right as usual.

 

When we have gatherings, there is often a food or two that someone can't eat, but we make up for it by having other things.   You are doing that by having different pies.  I would just casually comment that the pie has bourbon in it because depending on your guests, there might be others who prefer not to have it (kids, or me, who can't stand the taste of whiskey in any form).  Or, if it's a buffet, label it as such.  

 

But it's hard to tell.  My neighbor does not drink (strict Baptist, not Muslim) but when she took us out to dinner once she ordered soup and was offered a splash of sherry in it by the waiter, right at the table. Much to my surprise, she accepted.  That alcohol was not going to 'cook off' that soup.   I didn't ask her about it, though I was curious. 

[maize]

Maybe offer him a choice:

 

"I'm trying to decide between x pie and y pie and wonder which you would prefer--I wasn't sure whether x pie being made with alcohol would be a problem or not."

[umsami]

Most Muslims will not (I will) because the alcohol is not fully cooked off.

 

I take the position that it's impossible to get drunk on it, so why bother.  I am more liberal than most. :)

 

I have no issue with vanilla extract either. :)

 

Edited November 20, 2017 by umsami

[aaplank]

My best friend is a fairly liberal Muslim, but she would not eat that pie. She would say nothing,of course, and just not eat it.

 

She also is careful about vanilla, making sure it's alcohol free.

 

She isn't too concerned with having only halal meat, but would prefer it to be.

[JFSinIL]

Just have an alternative dessert, and warn the person that the one item was made with booze. Even if the alcohol is baked off, they may not wish to consume it. Err on the side of caution.

 

I avoid even one rum ball at Christmas - so little alcohol, yet I can "feel" it and start getting sleepy. Sigh. Such a lightweight here.

Edited November 20, 2017 by JFSinIL

[Daria]

It's not your responsibility to distinguish between 2 and 3. People telling white lies are absolving you of responsibility for things like that.

 

I know it absolves me of responsibility.  But the whole point of Thanksgiving is that it's fun to make things for other people to eat.  Making things that other people don't want to eat is .  . . less fun?

 

I have asked him other burning questions, such as broccoli or brussel sprouts, and he just says that he wants to experience a "traditional" Thanksgiving (this is his first Thanksgiving in the U.S.).  But, of course, you can have a traditional Thanksgiving with various types of pie, so it will be more enjoyable to me, if people are enjoying what I brought.  

 

So, for entirely selfish reasons, I would like to serve a pie he will like.  

 

Now, you all have me worried about the vanilla extract.  

[happi duck]

Have three pies: apple, bourbon, and pumpkin. If he wants "traditional" pumpkin pie is a good choice.

[umsami]

Trader Joe's sells alcohol free vanilla extract (which I buy).  Most Muslim I know use these little packets of vanilla powder.  You can also use vanilla beans or vanilla paste.  But honestly, I wouldn't worry about it.  I don't know any IRL Muslims who avoid baked goods that have vanilla extract in them.  They may chose other vanilla options when baking at home, but outside? I think it's really rare.  Pork gelatin is a different story.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Most Muslims will not (I will) because the alcohol is not fully cooked off.

 

I take the position that it's impossible to get drunk on it, so why bother.  I am more liberal than most. :)

 

I have no issue with vanilla extract either. :)

 

https://www.oasas.ny.gov/admed/fyi/fyi-cooking.cfm

 

Yep.  I learned some time ago that it doesn't cook off like we've all been told.

 

OP...why not just buy 2 pies?  The one you want and one more. 

 

[scoutingmom]

I am LDS and would not eat it. (Actually I hate pie anyway.... but I wouldn't knowingly eat any food cooked with alcohol).

 

I have not worried about any I have unknowingly eaten, but have mentioned it to the person once I realized it.

 

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[Daria]

https://www.oasas.ny.gov/admed/fyi/fyi-cooking.cfm

 

Yep.  I learned some time ago that it doesn't cook off like we've all been told.

 

OP...why not just buy 2 pies?  The one you want and one more. 

 

 

Because 3 pies is a lot for 5 people?

 

[unsinkable]

I know it absolves me of responsibility. But the whole point of Thanksgiving is that it's fun to make things for other people to eat. Making things that other people don't want to eat is . . . less fun?

 

I have asked him other burning questions, such as broccoli or brussel sprouts, and he just says that he wants to experience a "traditional" Thanksgiving (this is his first Thanksgiving in the U.S.). But, of course, you can have a traditional Thanksgiving with various types of pie, so it will be more enjoyable to me, if people are enjoying what I brought.

 

So, for entirely selfish reasons, I would like to serve a pie he will like.

 

Now, you all have me worried about the vanilla extract.

Bolding by me. This is not a belief held by all Thanksgiving cooks, based on other threads. ;)

 

If I were you, I'd skip the pie with bourbon. Maybe buy it for your family for later in the weekend or take one to work to share if is too much for your family.

[Junie]

Maybe you can make your brother's favorite pie and send it home with him so that he can eat it all.by.himself.  My brother would love it if I sent him home with a dessert.

[Word Nerd]

I think you’re over thinking it. I don’t eat pecan pie whether it contains alcohol or not, but I wouldn’t expect you not to serve it. I would happily eat apple pie instead (and usually do at Thanksgiving, as I don’t like pumpkin pie either).

Edited November 21, 2017 by Word Nerd

[gardenmom5]

I'm not muslim - I do not drink alcohol for religious reasons.  It varies.  Mostly I use flavorings that contain alcohol  (re: real vanilla as opposed to imitation.)  - but they are very small quantities in the whole.  

I have sent food back that was cooked with alcohol but didn't' mention it on the menu (it was very strong.)  my husband love's coq qu vin and will periodically make it - the smell makes me ill.    I do like his aji-mirin scampi.

 

that your friend will eat meat that is not halal is more telling about how strict they are in their observations.  I would ask them, especially as you know the way it will be being used.  

 

eta: when I hosted dh's family - it wasn't expected (by reasonable people) that everyone would eat some of everything.  there was simply too much food.  even dsil's so took objection to the tomato aspic she made one year.  - she loved to try new things.   the weirder the better for her.  no dear, people do not "like" 'chocolate cheese'. 

that includes people with food allergies, etc.  I can't eat yeast - my physical response is akin to hitting a brick wall at speed.  I don't expect people to forego eating stuffing or rolls.  I, otoh . . . .will not be eating them and I'm hosting the dinner.

Edited November 21, 2017 by gardenmom5

[Daria]

Bolding by me. This is not a belief held by all Thanksgiving cooks, based on other threads. ;)

 

If I were you, I'd skip the pie with bourbon. Maybe buy it for your family for later in the weekend or take one to work to share if is too much for your family.

 

Yeah, I think I'll buy something else.  We'll see what they have at Whole Foods. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Because 3 pies is a lot for 5 people?

 

 

You have not met my family.  LOL

 

We will be having 3 for four people.  And one of those ppl (me) probably will only have one tiny piece!

 

You could always send leftover pie home with a guest.  ; )

[Petrichor]

Some Muslims might not know that bourbon is alcohol, and might eat it, not realizing that it is alcohol (I have experience with this and a rum flavored ice cream).

 

So it might be nice to find a way to disclose that, without making it seem like he can't eat it, because he might choose to, particularly if he's not strict on the halal meat (though being not strict on beef vs. not strict on turkey or chicken is a whole 'nother issue)

 

You might say something like "this is chocolate bourbon pecan pie, I don't know if you can eat it, because bourbon is a kind of alcohol, but I also have XYZ dessert that doesn't have alcohol in it"

 

FTR, I wouldn't eat that pie, assuming it has real bourbon in it, and I can't bring myself to buy flavoring extracts containing alcohol when there are non-alcoholic options, but I don't have a problem eating things that were baked with alcohol-containing extracts. But I wouldn't eat something containing even small amounts of wine, because that carries the same sort of "unclean" ruling as pork. 

 

[gardenmom5]

You have not met my family.  LOL

 

We will be having 3 for four people.  And one of those ppl (me) probably will only have one tiny piece!

 

You could always send leftover pie home with a guest.  ; )

 

or dh's  . . .

and we must have enough pumpkin left to have plenty for breakfast on friday.

one year - dh's oldest four nieces and nephews came over friday morning frantically looking for pie for breakfast.  :drool5:  it was entertaining.

 

and we're not having fruitcake, or chocolate cheesecake, or chess tarts this year (normally, all of them would be added to the pie count) . . . I'm like "whaaaa . . ." :scared:

[chiguirre]

I know it absolves me of responsibility.  But the whole point of Thanksgiving is that it's fun to make things for other people to eat.  Making things that other people don't want to eat is .  . . less fun?

 

I have asked him other burning questions, such as broccoli or brussel sprouts, and he just says that he wants to experience a "traditional" Thanksgiving (this is his first Thanksgiving in the U.S.).  But, of course, you can have a traditional Thanksgiving with various types of pie, so it will be more enjoyable to me, if people are enjoying what I brought.  

 

So, for entirely selfish reasons, I would like to serve a pie he will like.  

 

Now, you all have me worried about the vanilla extract.  

 

I think you need to get a pumpkin pie since it's his first Thanksgiving. Unless everyone else hates pumpkin, I'd go with that and apple.

[J-rap]

Well whatever you decide, it will not be as stupid as when my dh and I were newly married and served our dear Muslim friend pork for dinner.

[Butter]

I don't drink for religious reasons, but I would eat the pie. However I'm pretty sure many of my LDS friends would not. Just ask.

 

 

I am LDS and would not eat it. (Actually I hate pie anyway.... but I wouldn't knowingly eat any food cooked with alcohol).

 

I have not worried about any I have unknowingly eaten, but have mentioned it to the person once I realized it.

 

These two answers are why you just have to ask.  I am also LDS and I WOULD eat it (actually, I wouldn't... I hate pie, but I would, and have, in general, eat a food that had been cooked with alcohol).

[scoutingmom]

These two answers are why you just have to ask. I am also LDS and I WOULD eat it (actually, I wouldn't... I hate pie, but I would, and have, in general, eat a food that had been cooked with alcohol).

At my Dad's second wedding reception, there was a mix up with the wedding cake being served. It was not the flavour they had picked.

 

I had my first bite, and it tasted wierd/off to me. I had a second bite, and my mind made the connection of the taste to a couple of liquored chocolates I had eaten years earlier (without knowledge that they were liquored ones until after I had eaten them).

 

The reception was about 3/4 or more LDS people. I discretely let my Dad know... he told me that he had realized it... and he had another slice.

 

Some people didn't eat more than a bite or two. Other people ate... I have no idea how many realized, and how many are unknowingly.

 

 

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[gardenmom5]

At my Dad's second wedding reception, there was a mix up with the wedding cake being served. It was not the flavour they had picked.

 

I had my first bite, and it tasted wierd/off to me. I had a second bite, and my mind made the connection of the taste to a couple of liquored chocolates I had eaten years earlier (without knowledge that they were liquored ones until after I had eaten them).

 

The reception was about 3/4 or more LDS people. I discretely let my Dad know... he told me that he had realized it... and he had another slice.

 

Some people didn't eat more than a bite or two. Other people ate... I have no idea how many realized, and how many are unknowingly.

 

 

Sent from my SM-G903W using Tapatalk

 

dh's nephew had his reception at some gallery that demanded they have a bar . . . .  most, not all, of the people there were practicing LDS.  only a few actually drank.  some people would go up there just so the bartender wasn't alone - he may have lost money.  hertainly wasn't making nearly as much as the gallery thought he would.

[Alice]

I know it absolves me of responsibility.  But the whole point of Thanksgiving is that it's fun to make things for other people to eat.  Making things that other people don't want to eat is .  . . less fun?

 

I have asked him other burning questions, such as broccoli or brussel sprouts, and he just says that he wants to experience a "traditional" Thanksgiving (this is his first Thanksgiving in the U.S.).  But, of course, you can have a traditional Thanksgiving with various types of pie, so it will be more enjoyable to me, if people are enjoying what I brought.  

 

So, for entirely selfish reasons, I would like to serve a pie he will like.  

 

Now, you all have me worried about the vanilla extract.  

 

 

I think you’re overthinking it. If your brother really likes the bourbon pie, seems like it would be kind to get that pie for your brother even if the friend can’t eat it. 

 

I’ve been a guest where it was obvious the hostess really wanted everyone to like everything and it’s almost uncomfortable. As a picky eater, I have felt like I was disappointing the hostess. It’s one thing to make sure there is something for everyone...it’s another thing to try to make everything for everyone. 

[Kalypso]

I really think you should make the pies you want and tell your friend at dessert time that the one pie has alcohol in it.

 

There is nothing offensive about handling it this way. 

[FriedClams]

I don't drink and would not eat it. The only recipe I use with alcohol is beef borg from JC (Julia Child) and that's because it cooks for about two hours after you add wine.

[justasque]

Because 3 pies is a lot for 5 people?

 

 

 

You have not met my family.  LOL

 

We will be having 3 for four people.  And one of those ppl (me) probably will only have one tiny piece!

 

You could always send leftover pie home with a guest.  ; )

 

For many years our goal was one pie per person.  The leftovers made yummy breakfast food for the rest of the weekend.

We did tend towards pies loaded with fruit, rather than chocolate mousse or something.

 

OP, I am going to be another vote for pumpkin.  It's the traditional option.  Sweet potato pie is similar and would do in a pinch.

[Scarlett]

Now I really want Bourbon pie.  Or any pie actually.  This thread has made me hungry.