Joker Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 What do I need to know? Dd, 15, appears to have suddenly developed some issues here. She's always had a bit of anxiety issues and struggles with OCD stuff. She's been doing really well but this year she has a teacher at school that I think it causing more issues. She's been in Spanish since 6th grade and always made A's. She's always loved it and is even in the Spanish Honor Society. This year, Honors III, is different. She actually has a C due to failing her participation grade every single week. She told me tonight that she actually has the words and wants to speak but can't and today it even affected her in other classes and with friends. She said today actually scared her that she couldn't speak. I think the teacher intimidates her and I know he yells more than she is used to and she feels he mocks them quite a bit. He just makes her uncomfortable (not in ways where she is in danger just stuff she is definitely not used to and doesn't like in other people). She definitely will not have him again as a teacher after this year. I'm calling the pediatrician tomorrow to see about a referral to a new therapist. She had one for a while for the OCD but it wasn't a great fit and she had started doing better by other things we were doing at home so we stopped. I'm also trying to figure out a way to approach the school without making the rest of her year with this teacher rough. She does not want us to say anything so dh and I are discussing. He's been there a while and is a well liked teacher - even teacher of the year two years ago, so it might not go over well complaining. We've already told her not to worry. If it affects her grade, we want her to know that we are okay and we know she isn't doing it on purpose. What else can we do to help here at home? What questions should we ask of the therapist or what should we look for to know they know what they're doing in regards to this specific issue? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dynamite5 Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I don't have any answers for you, but :grouphug: . I didn't want to read and not post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 Well, I wouldn't put it as a criticism of him - if he was teacher of the year two years ago, they obviously like him and many students probably do too. That said, your daughter has some psychological issues that don't mix well with his teaching style. I would just say to the administration (with a note from the doctor if at all possible) that your daughter has a psychological disability that is preventing her from full participation in this class and thus is dragging down her grade due to a medical issue. If they are decent, they might be willing to work out something where she stays after school to speak Spanish with another teacher or a student, or they might take participation in Spanish club or other extracurricular Spanish work as compensatory for the participation grade in this class. If not, could you/do you have a formal plan with the school regarding her OCD and anxiety? I don't know much about it, but I hear that you can start a process wherein the school has to acknowledge her medical/psychological issues if they are preventing her from accessing her education and make accommodations as needed. You might post this in Learning Challenges, they will have ideas. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 If not, could you/do you have a formal plan with the school regarding her OCD and anxiety? I don't know much about it, but I hear that you can start a process wherein the school has to acknowledge her medical/psychological issues if they are preventing her from accessing her education and make accommodations as needed. You might post this in Learning Challenges, they will have ideas. A 504 plan. Gives accommodations to students with disabilities who do not need changes to the curriculum, but different ways to access it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted November 17, 2017 Author Share Posted November 17, 2017 We don't have an actual plan but they have made accommodations when necessary. It's actually only been an issue one time and they were great. I definitely think it's just a combo of this particular teacher and dd not meshing well. She actually hoped to have him and really liked his teaching style early on but now she's not a fan. Today, after he yelled at the class he then pointed out what a good job dd had done and that made things worse for her. We've worked with her in the past about doing well even when she has teachers she doesn't like and it's worked out well. This teacher just seems to be a bit much for her and we need additional help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted November 17, 2017 Author Share Posted November 17, 2017 I wonder if a speech pathologist would be of any help. Selective mutism is a communication disorder, as well as a psych disorder. That's interesting. We actually took her to one when she was very young due to how she was communicating. None of us could understand her. She did have some ear issues though during that time and it eventually seemed to work itself out. She was around 2.5/3 years old. Then, she not only started talking better but she started reading. So, we thought all was good there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 If they've been good about it in the past, I'd definitely contact them and propose a couple of solutions (can she switch to another section or is he the only teacher for this course?). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
felicity Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I have an almost-15yo with anxiety issues that has led to selective mutism that is more extreme in some classes than others. We just had a 504 plan meeting with the school to give him some “outs†like with the participation grades. I would highly suggest meeting with the school even if it seems like it might be overkill. The 504 is to help kids that are capable but need some supports. Our counselors were great and actually gave him more accomodations than I was going to ask for. If you want more info on specifics, pm me. We also started the process for an IEP to get speech therapy. He had one when he was little and a very late/hard to understand talker but we let it lapse. This time it won’t be for articulation but for getting comfortable speaking. The 60-day clock started last week for the evaluations but I don’t think much will happen before Christmas break. Let me know if you have any other questions that I can help with. And good luck to your daughter. It’s so hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 (edited) I have no advice but wanted to say that I'm sorry your DD is having to deal with this. It was a similar type teacher issue (although in fourth grade) that was the final push we needed to start homeschooling. There was nothing truly wrong with the teacher from what I could tell. I was the class mom, I was there a LOT of the time. Plenty enough that I thought I knew what was going on. DS now 21 swore she was different when I (or the other mom who was there a lot) wasn't there. But I don't know. I did know that all the girls in the class seemed to adore her and all the boys . . . most definitely didn't. The other mom told me her son said the same thing as DS did, that she was different when we weren't there. And both of them were well behaved, very high achieving boys. It's not like they didn't like her because they weren't doing well academically (they were both in the gifted program) or were being punished all the time for misbehaving. They were both the type to keep their heads down and stay out of trouble at all costs. And from what I gathered from the other teachers she was respected by them and liked well enough. But by the end of the year DS was, I think, close to having a true nervous breakdown and we decided to start homeschooling. I'm not saying you need to do that at your DD's age, just that I totally understand what it's like to have a kid and a supposedly good teacher who just do not mesh. The experience really did a number on DS, and he wasn't already prone to anxiety. Edited November 17, 2017 by Pawz4me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acadie Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 (edited) So many good ideas here, and I'd try a number of them before resorting to this. But if all else fails and she really continues to struggle, I'd consider having her sit in on a regular Spanish class and switch if she prefers it to the Honors course. Sometimes a class, job or relationship is simply not a good fit, and after putting in valiant effort it can be empowering to make the choice to move on. There's so much pressure on high school students these days, and there are times when something's gotta give. No academic track is more important than her finding and using her voice at this stage in her development, and other strategies above could help with that. But if not, this would be my bottom line, after trying less drastic measures. Amy Edited November 17, 2017 by Acadie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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