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Clothes borrowing between 2 sisters. Help!


Miss Peregrine
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Today I chose the connection route. She seemed to be asking for it. She suggested we watch Stranger Things together. We sat on the couch and watched two episodes while she laid on my shoulder and snuggled.

 

Other stuff in the home is weighing heavily on her, I know. Connection has been missing and I'm glad we had that tonight.

 

There will be a very stiff consequence if it happens again and she is aware. Dd17 agreed to go shopping with her and help her choose clothes. So. . .that's where we are now.

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Wow I am surprised by the response.

 

 

Here is how I handle it now with my kids. That nothing is really theirs so people can use things of others in our house.

Since the kids don't buy anything I don't believe any thing is "theirs"

I get them to think that they get to use or have what their sibling has so it is a win win.

 

I would rather promote a fun sharing home than put locks on doors and dressers.

This was my thoughts too unless your odd buys her own clothes, then I'd put a stop to it. IDK though as I only have small kids and it's easier to say everything we have belongs to all of us. Also I grew up solo, so I had no one to have an issue like this with. Good luck!

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My 14 and 15yo dds get into minor spats about clothes, but nothing major enough for me to feel like I need to step in.  Glad to hear things are looking up, OP!

 

I did need to make both girls search through their room for MY jeans yesterday.  My 15yo thought they were hers and had been wearing them!  This is "thanks" to the miracle of stretchy jeans, NOT the miracle of me having 15yo hips.  There's no hope for that miracle.

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The thing is, think this is a bridge that is crossed once per child.  IEach of these realizations happens only one time, and then we move on from there. Back & forth means boundaries are being tested, but it doesn’t mean the reality and the exact location of those boundaries is fully realized.

 

That is great news.  

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I read the OP and 2 or 3 of the first replies.. I agree with some others who commented. "Borrowing", without permission, is stealing.  Like people who steal a car to joyride and then return it or abandon it, hopefully without it being totaled.  In the case of the clothes, what would happen if she "borrows" some favorite item from her older system and it is damaged while she has it?  That would be bad, if she had permission, but without having permission, it's worse than bad.

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