Would you have reported this and to who?

[nixpix5]

I just had to make a run to a high school to pick something up from the main office. As the kids and I were leaving and walking down a sidewalk/hill we were walking behind a young girl of about 14 or 15 who was by herself. There was a group of 6 men doing yard work/landscaping along the road as she walked by and then us a bit of the way back. As she went by the men all stared at her in a smiling sleazy sort of way and then one said to the others in Spanish "I would love to abduct that one and..." you can let your imagination fill in that part. It was disgusting. Followed by a fist bump with another guy who said "mmmmm...I would take part in that"

 

I grew up in a predominately Hispanic area and understand Spanish quite well. I assume these men made an assumption that we didn't understand them so felt fine saying it. I chose not to appear as though I understood and walked back to the school and let the office know what I heard. They didn't seem concerned at all. Now I feel confident these guys weren't really going to do anything. I am sure they were just be crude but still, I felt ill. By the time I came back down the hill they were still there and working away. I didn't press the issue and left but now that I am back home I almost feel like I should have done something else. Not sure what. I was just so angry. I kept thinking if that was my little girl I would be upset if someone heard that and didn't report it further.

 

Thoughts? What would you do? Do you think I should do something more?

Edited November 15, 2017 by nixpix5

[BarbecueMom]

Was the work being done on school property? If so, would past school board meeting minutes have the name of the company who won the contract to do the landscaping work?

Edited November 15, 2017 by BarbecueMom

[marbel]

Was the name of the company visible?   On a truck or something?  If so, I would call and talk to the owner if possible, and explain what you saw.

 

I can't think of any other entity to complain to. 

 

ETA: OK, didn't realize it was on school property.  Someone at the school knows or can find out the name of the company.

Edited November 15, 2017 by marbel

[Innisfree]

Yes. I would speak to the owner of the company.

[nixpix5]

Yes, it was on school property so that is a good idea. I will see what I can find out.

 

I didn't see any company logo or name. I did look because I had that thought too.

 

Part of me thinks I should let it go and then another part of me, the parent part of me and the part that was often treated in such a way by grown men as a teen, makes my blood boil and want these guys to watch what they say.

[hornblower]

This is street harassment. I would send an email to the principal. Once things are in writing, things get done. 

Oh & next time, whip out your phone, take pictures and tell them to knock it off in every language you know. 

It's not that I think these guys are necessarily going to abduct and rape a girl. It's that street harassment is unacceptable and women of all ages have the right to walk down a street (and especially at their school) without being sexually harassed. 

[alisoncooks]

I would totally report it.

To whom, IDK. But it wouldn't hurt for those men to hear (from someone in a position of authority) that what they said is BEYOND inappropriate.

Edited November 15, 2017 by alisoncooks

[nixpix5]

This is street harassment. I would send an email to the principal. Once things are in writing, things get done.

 

Oh & next time, whip out your phone, take pictures and tell them to knock it off in every language you know.

 

It's not that I think these guys are necessarily going to abduct and rape a girl. It's that street harassment is unacceptable and women of all ages have the right to walk down a street (and especially at their school) without being sexually harassed.

I had left my phone in the car but I didn't think to take a pic as I was driving back by. I was shocked by my own internal anger. I clearly have unresolved issues from teen years because I was shaking I was so angry. My brain shut off and I just couldn't think about what to do. I am going to send an email to the principal. Going off to do it right now. Thank you.

[Bootsie]

Yes, it was on school property so that is a good idea. I will see what I can find out.

 

I didn't see any company logo or name. I did look because I had that thought too.

 

Part of me thinks I should let it go and then another part of me, the parent part of me and the part that was often treated in such a way by grown men as a teen, makes my blood boil and want these guys to watch what they say.

If it was on school property there is more than simply a safety issue (would they have really followed through).  It is sexual harassment and that should not be tolerated by a school employee or contractor.  If the principal and the school board are unwilling to do something immediately, I would be filing a complaint with the Department of Education division that investigates sex discrimination issues in education

[Word Nerd]

I had left my phone in the car but I didn't think to take a pic as I was driving back by. I was shocked by my own internal anger. I clearly have unresolved issues from teen years because I was shaking I was so angry. My brain shut off and I just couldn't think about what to do. I am going to send an email to the principal. Going off to do it right now. Thank you.

 

I would include the superintendent.

[Murphy101]

Yes, it was on school property so that is a good idea. I will see what I can find out.

 

I didn't see any company logo or name. I did look because I had that thought too.

 

Part of me thinks I should let it go and then another part of me, the parent part of me and the part that was often treated in such a way by grown men as a teen, makes my blood boil and want these guys to watch what they say.

I think they should be fired immediately. But probably won’t be.

 

I don’t think any school should tolerate that crap from anyone on school property for any reason and absolutely not anyone paid to be there.

 

In writing with as close to exact Spanish quote as you can and your English translation too. CC principal and school board.

[Joyofsixreboot]

I tend to be a hot headed big mouth so would probably have let them have it. YMMV

 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

[Laurie]

 . As she went by the men all stared at her in a smiling sleazy sort of way and then one said to the others in Spanish "I would love to abduct that one and..." you can let your imagination fill in that part. It was disgusting. Followed by a fist bump with another guy who said "mmmmm...I would take part in that"

 

 

 

Yes, I'd report it, and in this order:

1. Police

2. School principal

3. PTA president

4. If it's a public school...the Teachers' Union

[gardenmom5]

were these city workers doing work on city property?  I would call the city maintenance dept and report them.

school property?  call the school maintenance dept.  you can report when and where and they should know who was on the crew.

the school should have cared more - was it an office worker?  or the principal?  - I would make sure the principal knows.    a city or school crew could be around for multiple days.

 

was it at a home?  I would let the homeowner know.

[regentrude]

If it was on school propert, the school ' sexual harassment policy should cover this and the company should face consequences. I would file a report with the school. It is no excuse that this happened in Spanish. The school has to ensure pupils and visitors are not harassed by contractors.

[nixpix5]

were these city workers doing work on city property? I would call the city maintenance dept and report them.

school property? call the school maintenance dept. you can report when and where and they should know who was on the crew.

the school should have cared more - was it an office worker? or the principal? - I would make sure the principal knows. a city or school crew could be around for multiple days.

 

was it at a home? I would let the homeowner know.

I went into the main office and talked to their office worker. Granted, it was the lunch hour and kids were everywhere so the woman seemed distracted. I asked if the principal was in and he was on his lunch break.

 

You all have provided logical next steps. I emailed the principal and am going to follow up with some more of these suggestions. Thank you everyone!

[trulycrabby]

Yes, report it. Gosh, that makes me mad. :mad:

[lauraw4321]

Reporting is probably better than what I did when this happened to me as a young teenager. I also speak Spanish, and spoke even better at the time. I walked by some guy who referred to me as a puta and went on after that. I became enraged and started yelling at him in Spanish. In retrospect that was really stupid

[Bootsie]

https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/ocrshpam.html

 

The above link will give you information about what the school is required to do and how to report sexual harassment.

 

The school should have a written policy and procedure that you should be able to follow; ask to see it.

 

The school should have a Title IX coordinator.  Ask who that is and file a report with that individual.  

 

 

[Bluegoat]

I think the reaction of being flabbergasted is totally normal.  

 

My first reaction was that I might have said something directly to them - maybe even just gave them a stink-eye to show I understood them.  Depending on how embarrassed/ashamed they were, maybe call the company if you can see what it is.

 

Since they are working on the school property, especially if they are actually working for the school or board, I'd be more inclined to go say something to the school.  I'm not sure which person I would go to though - I'd not really want to dump it on the school secretary.  It might even be better to call up your school board representative or something like that.

 

It would also be best I think to have a sense of what you want done.  I don't know that I'd want to have them fired, so much as have them feel bad bad bad.  (Actually, maybe the ideal thing would be to call their priests and moms.)

[nixpix5]

It would also be best I think to have a sense of what you want done. I don't know that I'd want to have them fired, so much as have them feel bad bad bad. (Actually, maybe the ideal thing would be to call their priests and moms.)

Hahaha!!! So awesome! I would love to call their mamas! Where I grew up you didn't dare do anything to bring shame to your Hispanic mom or they would pop you upside the head and tell the other men in the family and they would have something to say too.

 

Thanks, I needed that laugh because I was so fuming.

 

I know this isn't an excuse for them but I gathered they were not born and raised here. The way men relate to females within Mexico is quite different than our expectations here. My middle school was a sight provider for ESL teens and much older teens when I went there. Many of the boys had been in the state a very short while. We had a huge migrant worker population during the early 90s. Many only spoke very broken English and did not get our customs. They would hang out in one hallway during passing period and if one was unfortunate enough to have a class there, you would be literally assaulted. The boys would grab girls' butts, wriggle their tongues at them, one guy stuck his hand up my skirt when I walked past. I had so much trauma from it. We would report it and report it and nothing was done. I would skip my classes that were in that hall and literally failed a class because I would skip. We were told over and over again that it was being addressed in their classes. We were told it was cultural. I will never forget my boyfriend got suspended in 8th grade for punching a guy for grabbing at me and saying innapropriate things. I think I had a pseudo PTSD flashback today when all of this occurred.

 

I do think the cultural disconnect can occur. My parents' best friends when I was growing up were from Mexico and had lived in the states about 5 years when they met. The man was 30yrs old when he married the wife who at the time was 14 yo (In Mexico). He used to joke how he kidnapped her from her family and she cried and cried wanting to go home. He thought it was funny. The shocking part was at this point they had been married about 20 years and had 4 kids. They clearly loved each other and had a well balanced, mutual respect. I just remember being shocked.

 

So again, I do wonder what part this plays and would it be seen by these men as innapropriate. Not here nor there. Just me processing my experiences outloud after an emotional reaction. It also plays into what I would want to see happen. If they were just not aware that it isn't appropriate then firing seems harsh. Or maybe I would like that out of anger. Not sure.

 

I knew I would find logical, even handed responses here. Thanks again everyone. I will keep you posted as to the outcome.

[Laurie]

P.S.  

If these men are ever working close to the school building someone should make sure they aren't spying or placing any kind of hidden cameras in the girls' restrooms or locker rooms.   Since they are doing landscaping work they wouldn't seem suspicious if they're behind the bushes...

[happi duck]

God. I hate that. People can be so gross. Imo, words aren't just words. I hate that something so vile was put out there.

 

The school isn't protecting its students if they downplay this.

[Selkie]

That's sickening.  :mad:

 

I would send a written description of the incident to the school administrators and school board members.

[mommyoffive]

Sick

 

I am glad you are doing something. 

[Hen]

my dh works with school construction, and at least in my state, he can have workers thrown off the school work sites if they cuss or smoke.  I would for sure send something in writing to the principal, the school board and the superintendent.  Once in writing, something will have to be done about it. 

 

[El...]

You should write down what happened, exactly what was said, in the spoken language and in translation, right away, while it's fresh, with as much detail as possible.  Include the date, time, physical descriptions of the workers if you can, of their vehicle, etc.

 

I think it would be appropriate to call the police non-emergency line and discuss it with one of their officers.  They could advise you.  

 

I'd definitely send an email to the school's principal and superintendent.  They know what company it was.  What if something bad happens?  Keeping it quiet does absolutely no good. 

 

"All it takes for evil to triumph...." Here's to the good people kicking a**!  

 

[Bootsie]

I hope you have been able to get some response for the school that they are taking this seriously.  The more I have thought about it, the more concerned I am.  What you observed should not have happened.  That in and of itself is a problem.  The fact that the secretary did not seem more concerned when you told her is an additional problem  All of the school's employees should be trained in what to do if any type of sexual harassment is reported.  The fact that she is in a position where she should know about the school's policies and procedures and that she did not take it as seriously as everyone who has responded here has taken it is worrisome.  

[Liz CA]

Yes, it was on school property so that is a good idea. I will see what I can find out.

 

I didn't see any company logo or name. I did look because I had that thought too.

 

Part of me thinks I should let it go and then another part of me, the parent part of me and the part that was often treated in such a way by grown men as a teen, makes my blood boil and want these guys to watch what they say.

 

The issue may be this: A mere statement like that - as crude and inappropriate as it is - is probably not enough for anyone to do something. However, the employer / supervisor can and should address it. If you can find contact info for this person, you could definitely report it and hopefully it will be discussed with the employees.

This feels different than "cat calling" from reading your description even though in their minds it may be the same.