Jump to content


What's with the ads?

Photo
- - - - -

I dislike choir concerts - I'm just whining


28 replies to this topic

What's with the ads?

#1 SquirrellyMama

SquirrellyMama

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 3433 posts

Posted 14 November 2017 - 07:21 PM

I really don't like my kids' choir concerts. I'm sure it makes me a horrible person.

I can't understand the words when more than 5 or 6 people are singing.

They also hold your kids hostage so you can't leave when your child is done :( I don't care if other people leave when their kid is done. I get it. My child is special to me, not them.

And, tonight's concert is combination of 2 districts. I was so excited that it was only going to be 6th and 7th grade. Then I get here and find out there is another school district singing with them. That'll add another 45 minutes to my torture.

Anyway, I'm a whiner tonight.

There must be someone else who doesn't like these things. I can handle dance recitals, plays, swim meets, cross country meets, but not their choir concerts.

I brought a book to read. I'm going to sit in the back. I like listening to music while I read. Maybe it will help. I never bring a camera so I'm not going to miss out on pictures.

Kelly

#2 Diana P.

Diana P.

    Empress Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 10872 posts

Posted 14 November 2017 - 07:28 PM

I know the waiting is a pain. I've BTDT. However, the kids are giving a performance. You may not care about someone else's kid. Someone else may not care about your kid. But the kids ALL get an opportunity to perform in front of a group. If everyone left with their kid, the last few would be performing in front of no one and that's not a great experience.

But yeah, it's hard to sit politely. I'd go for sit in back.
  • Amy in NH, Jenny in Florida, KrissiK and 7 others like this

#3 SquirrellyMama

SquirrellyMama

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 3433 posts

Posted 14 November 2017 - 07:32 PM

It probably doesn't help that I'm not at all musical. I'm here, I'll smile and clap politely. I promise I'll be nice :)

Kelly

#4 regentrude

regentrude

    Qualified Bee Keeper

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 26016 posts

Posted 14 November 2017 - 07:32 PM

I am not a particular fan of most children's choir concerts because, frankly, most of them aren't very good. Choral music is wonderful when performed by a strong ensemble and quite torturous when performed by a poorly trained group. A good children's choir will work on diction so that words should be understandable to the audience.

 

However, I need to weigh in on the leaving when your kid is done. It is good that your organization does not permit kids to leave, for two reasons:

first, it is incredibly disruptive to performers when people continuously get up and leave. It is very hard to keep focus, especially with young performers, but even for adults. It's just rude. 

Second, even the last group performing deserves to have an audience. That's the point of a public performance. It is very demoralizing when the last group performs only for their own parents.

 

ETA: Reading a book is fine for a young child who cannot keep quiet otherwise and needs to be distracted. An adult reading a book during a concert sends the very tangible message that they don't give a fig for the performance. It's not very nice towards the people on stage.


Edited by regentrude, 14 November 2017 - 07:35 PM.

  • Amy in NH, Laura Corin, Anne and 17 others like this

#5 marbel

marbel

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 8603 posts

Posted 14 November 2017 - 07:37 PM

Yeah, I get it.  I don't like those things either.  Agreeing with those who say there are good reasons that everyone is asked to stay till the end.  Everyone watches everyone else; that's just the way it goes.   


  • Amy in NH likes this

#6 Elizabeth86

Elizabeth86

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1442 posts

Posted 14 November 2017 - 07:40 PM

I haven't been to a choir concert, bit I definitely see your point.

#7 wendy not in HI

wendy not in HI

    Hive Mind Larvae

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1098 posts

Posted 14 November 2017 - 07:46 PM

That's why I started knitting.  Orchestra concerts that go on for.e.ver!  At one point I had multiple concerts at 3 different schools for orchestra, band and choir.  How did I survive???  I've got a simple project on my needles ready for upcoming holiday concerts.

 

Best wishes!!


  • Amy in NH, Anne, GailV and 4 others like this

#8 SquirrellyMama

SquirrellyMama

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 3433 posts

Posted 14 November 2017 - 07:52 PM

I get why everyone has to stay, and I will.

I found a neighbor and chatted with him for a while, and I feel better. I apparently hadn't talked enough today :)

Kelly

#9 SquirrellyMama

SquirrellyMama

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 3433 posts

Posted 14 November 2017 - 08:22 PM

Although, if they let people leave, getting out of the parking lot would be easier. My dd is in 7th so she'll sing last. All those 6th grade parents would be gone :)

I know, I know, I'm being selfish.

Kelly

Edited by SquirrellyMama, 14 November 2017 - 08:22 PM.


#10 SamanthaCarter

SamanthaCarter

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1085 posts

Posted 14 November 2017 - 09:22 PM

If you can't understand, the choir hasnt been properly trained in diction. It should be enjoyable.

Edited by SamanthaCarter, 15 November 2017 - 07:12 AM.


#11 SusanC

SusanC

    Hive Mind Level 4 Worker: Builder Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 3131 posts

Posted 14 November 2017 - 09:42 PM

Aww, Squirrelly, I get you. I felt the same way at our last piano recital. It was a sad revelation, "Wait a minute, I don't enjoy this one bit!" I felt like scum of course, but once the revelation has occurred it can't be un-revealed. Good tip about getting in enough talking before the show. Hang in there!
  • SquirrellyMama likes this

#12 Quill

Quill

    Team Introvert - Captain

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 17727 posts

Posted 14 November 2017 - 10:03 PM

Aww, that’s too bad. When my DD was in a choral group, going to the performances was literally one of my favorite things that happened all year. The singing was SO beautiful, it would bring tears to my eyes. I also assist with a homeschool chorus now and hearing the kids sing makes me tremendously happy, even though I no longer have a singer of my own.

Now -if you want to talk about going to WRESTLING TOURNIES, where you had to wait six hours for your own child to wrestle for two minutes, then okay, I’m with you there. I hated that a lot.
  • Amy in NH, Anne, SquirrellyMama and 4 others like this

#13 theelfqueen

theelfqueen

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1598 posts

Posted 15 November 2017 - 12:19 AM

But I love wrestling and martial arts tournaments and choir concerts (I'm the vocalist in my house lol but DH is not a fan ... I require him to attend anyway lol)

Middle school band I could do without but I like orchestra in general. My son's fiancee is an instrumental performance major - single player recitals are not my favorite.

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
  • SquirrellyMama, Quill and Kassia like this

#14 Kassia

Kassia

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1687 posts

Posted 15 November 2017 - 06:06 AM

I used to dread my kids' band concerts.  They just felt so long and boring to me and all the parents were jammed together in a hot gym on uncomfortable bleachers.  I am relieved we are done with those!  


  • SquirrellyMama likes this

#15 teachermom2834

teachermom2834

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 2687 posts

Posted 15 November 2017 - 07:21 AM

I have not been through the band and choral performances but I am there with dance recitals. First hour is fine, second hour I get antsy. Every minute over two hours I am increasingly cranky. Why are they so very long?

My dd dances, my nieces dance, friends invite us to recitals. It is a lot for something I am not very interested in beyond supporting loved ones.

I am going to my first Nutcracker of the season this weekend. I don't know how many Nutcrackers I have watched and I've got probably 15 more years at least :)
  • SquirrellyMama and Kassia like this

#16 emzhengjiu

emzhengjiu

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Moderators
  • PipPip
  • 1830 posts

Posted 15 November 2017 - 07:42 AM

My daughter sings with a large chorus with 6 different levels. Even though they perform in a concert hall, sitting through all of it gets hard with multiple performances each year.  I volunteered originally to chaperon because additional adult help was really needed, but now I'm so glad. A side benefit to chaperoning is keeping busy until my daughter's chorus is on stage! Chaperons have reserved seats near the stage, too!



#17 SparklyUnicorn

SparklyUnicorn

    Beekeeping Professor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 37166 posts

Posted 15 November 2017 - 07:49 AM

I love choir concerts and go to many.  However, I don't care for them when they are super long.  And school concerts can be kinda "meh". 

 

It would be very rude to leave early though.  So that they don't allow that I absolutely get.

 

 



#18 Junie

Junie

    Apprentice Bee Keeper

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 6903 posts

Posted 15 November 2017 - 07:57 AM

I don't like concerts much either, especially if my child has already performed, I have a bunch of wiggly kids with me, and the concert lasts two hours.  Plus, it's an hour drive home and the littles are up way past their bedtime.

 

I think we have snuck out an intermission a time or two.   :leaving:

 

I also hate when they have an Ensemble of Everyone as the last piece.  The kids perform for 10 minutes and then have to wait for over an hour to sing We Wish You a Merry Christmas.   :svengo:


  • Annie G likes this

#19 JFSinIL

JFSinIL

    Queen of teh Typos ;-)

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 9881 posts

Posted 15 November 2017 - 08:05 AM

When they were smaller, my kids participated in our church's Christmas Eve concert mass.  Day of the 4pm mass, we had to have the kids there by 2:30  (they did more practice and had snacks before performing).  Every parent got there starting at 2pm....to be sure to grab a pew and throw down coats to hold it, then after checking kids in downstairs Mom, Dad or a grandparent or grumpy teen had to sit with the coats to hold the space.  By 3pm most of the pews were filled by space-savers and early birds, as this mass was the most popular time-wise AND thanks to all the families attending since their kids were in it, jammed-backed.  Anyone showing up by 3:30 had to stand.  Hubby would come with our boys  (only the girls wanted to be in the kid choir) at 3:30 as otherwise it got too hard to hold their seats.   OK. I have been sitting in church since 2pm.  Boys are cranky about being there half an hour early.  Tensions are rising as folks who thought they could stroll in at 3:55 and get a seat (as they could most other Saturdays) are cranky they have to stand.  Then lights dim, candles are lit, Mass starts, and it is very long since so many songs are stuck in.  Thing is, NONE of the songs are familiar - I think the person running the show wrote half of them - and they are slooooow.  Kids act out Nativity - that is always good, can't go wrong with a kid's Nativity - then more sloooow songs, sung in monotones, and finally it ends - and THEN the kids finally sing a proper Christmas carol - Joy to the World.  Everyone joins in, and then we rush home to check NORAD.

Edited by JFSinIL, 15 November 2017 - 01:35 PM.

  • chiguirre and Annie G like this

#20 Bluegoat

Bluegoat

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12548 posts

Posted 15 November 2017 - 08:13 AM

I find some of these difficult as well - to me it mostly comes down to, the kids aren't very good yet.

 

Violin concerts of beginners are the ones I dread the most.  Ugh, it is an instrument that sounds like a dying cat if you don't play well.  100 of th little darlings in unison is 100 dying cats.

 

I think in many cases, the other problem is the concerts are longer than is really optimal.  Two hours is great for something that really is holding your attention and the seats are comfortable.  Beyond that it is touchy.  About an hour for very amateur presentations or bad chairs.

 

But I know it's difficult for the organizers.  My son's ballet school has divided its end of year show in two to keep down the length, and it still runs to a little over two hours.  And it would be difficult to fit three shows in a day, so dividing it again would get complicated.


  • Mothersweets, wendy not in HI and Kassia like this

#21 chiguirre

chiguirre

    RABble raiser

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 7745 posts

Posted 15 November 2017 - 09:17 AM

When they were smaller, my kids participated in our churches Christmas Eve concert mass.  Day of the 4pm mass, we had to have the kids there by 2:30  (they did more practice and had snacks before performing).  Every parent got there starting at 2pm....to be sure to grab a pew and throw down coats to hold it, then after checking kids in downstairs Mom, Dad or a grandparent or grumpy teen had to sit with the coats to hold the space.  By 3pm most of the pews were so filled by space-savers and early birds, as this mass was the most popular time-wise AND thanks to all the families attending since their kids were in it, jammed-backed.  Anyone showing up by 3:30 had to stand.  Hubby would come with our boys  (only the girls wanted to be in the kid choir) at 3:30 as otherwise it got too hard to hold their seats.   OK. I have been sitting in church since 2pm.  Boys are cranky about being there half an hour early.  Tensions are rising as folks who thought they could stroll in at 3:55 and get a seat (as they could most other Saturdays) are cranky they have to stand.  Then lights dim, candles are lit, Mass starts, and it is very long since so many songs are stuck in.  Thing is, NONE of the songs are familiar - I think the person running the show wrote half of them - and they are slooooow.  Kids act out Nativity - that is always good, can't go wrong with a kid's Nativity - then more sloooow songs, sung in monotones, and finally it ends - and THEN the kids finally sing a proper Christmas carol - Joy to the World.  Everyone joins in, and then we rush home to check NORAD.


I know you live in another state far, far away, but you've described my parish's Christmas Eve Mass to perfection even down to the timing. Do you think it's actually mandated by the USCCB?

(I am so glad Trinqueta has moved up to the adult choir!)
  • JFSinIL likes this

#22 SamanthaCarter

SamanthaCarter

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1085 posts

Posted 15 November 2017 - 10:59 AM

I find myself wondering what these recitals are for. I accidentally found myself at one last year because it was branded as the end of year ceremony for co-op. My kid was in one class (IEW). I sat there for over two hours trying to keep the two younger kids still while we listened to little kids play hot cross buns and twinkle twinkle little star, and voice students sing badly to overproduced recorded accompaniment. What was the point? Same with ballet and tap, why get 4, 5, and 6 year olds up there in overpriced outfits to show almost zero skill? I feel like we are not encouraging excellence with this type of stuff. (I'm not including competitions btw, like wrestling, swimming that type of thing, I get that.)

Edited by SamanthaCarter, 15 November 2017 - 11:03 AM.

  • ThursdayNext likes this

#23 vonfirmath

vonfirmath

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 5087 posts

Posted 15 November 2017 - 11:02 AM

My parents are NOT sports fans at all. They went to 6 years of football games because my sister or I was playing in the band.  (And two of those years there were extra games because the football team went to playoffs -- at least once all the way to state and we got to march in the Astrodome.


Edited by vonfirmath, 15 November 2017 - 11:06 AM.


#24 regentrude

regentrude

    Qualified Bee Keeper

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 26016 posts

Posted 15 November 2017 - 11:34 AM

I find myself wondering what these recitals are for. I accidentally found myself at one last year because it was branded as the end of year ceremony for co-op. My kid was in one class (IEW). I sat there for over two hours trying to keep the two younger kids still while we listened to little kids play hot cross buns and twinkle twinkle little star, and voice students sing badly to overproduced recorded accompaniment. What was the point? Same with ballet and tap, why get 4, 5, and 6 year olds up there in overpriced outfits to show almost zero skill? I feel like we are not encouraging excellence with this type of stuff.

 

Recitals

  • are a way to get children used to public performance
  • give a goal and motivation
  • provide feedback from an audience
  • give a sense of community when they are included in a mixed age ensemble performance
  • provide role models

The instructor should encourage excellence by setting high, age appropriate standards. Yes, the young singers group of age 5-8 will never sounds as good as the auditioned children's choir of ages 10-14, which probably won't sound as good as the collegiate level choir. But it is important that the younger singers have an opportunity to perform and experience the benefits.

 

If instructors do not teach students to perform at an (age appropriate) strong level, use expensive costumes or low quality accompaniment, it is the instructor's fault.
 


  • chiguirre, TechWife, dmmetler and 2 others like this

#25 EmilyGF

EmilyGF

    Hive Mind Level 4 Worker: Builder Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 2912 posts

Posted 15 November 2017 - 11:38 AM

What I dislike more than choir concerts is dance recitals...

 

Man, that was one terrible day. And it cost $20/ticket. Ouch.

 

We quit dance after that. 

 

Emily



#26 KrissiK

KrissiK

    Empress Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 14019 posts

Posted 15 November 2017 - 11:40 AM

I know the waiting is a pain. I've BTDT. However, the kids are giving a performance. You may not care about someone else's kid. Someone else may not care about your kid. But the kids ALL get an opportunity to perform in front of a group. If everyone left with their kid, the last few would be performing in front of no one and that's not a great experience.

But yeah, it's hard to sit politely. I'd go for sit in back.

I agree. I've sat through a 2 hour recital for a music school my kid was in and about tore my hair out. But I think it's a good discipline to develop to be able to sit politely and respectfully, even when you are bored out of your mind. Patience is a virtue that is not developed at all in our society... We are not patient with each other, we do not give each other grace and forbearance. It is rude to walk out of a performance before it is done unless you are sick or have a coughing fit, and I hate to get on a soapbox, but it's these little attitudes, these small demonstrations of rudeness that added all together make a society such as we have now. Small acts of kindness and patience - at sporting events, at school events and recitals, at the grocery store and the stop sign can add up to make a difference in how people treat each other as a whole.

Edited by KrissiK, 15 November 2017 - 11:44 AM.

  • vonfirmath likes this

#27 SquirrellyMama

SquirrellyMama

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 3433 posts

Posted 15 November 2017 - 04:22 PM

When I get bored during our 4 hour dance recitals, I take off my glasses, and they all look like dancing oompa loompas :)

 

Kelly


  • chiguirre, Annie G and Kassia like this

#28 shawthorne44

shawthorne44

    More Kilts!

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 3928 posts

Posted 15 November 2017 - 04:57 PM

I get it, I totally do!   

 

I used to have a boyfriend that was on a big choir that won international competitions.   I hate choirs.   They always sounds discordant to me.  Basically, if you can tell that more than one person is singing, it sounds 'off' to me.  It killed our relationship because I didn't even want to sit in the audience.   So, you can imagine how enjoyable I find children's choir performances.  

 

My technique so far has been to focus on my child and try to make everyone else's voices background noise.   So far 12 has been the biggest group she was in, so that is doable.  


  • SquirrellyMama likes this

#29 Bluegoat

Bluegoat

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12548 posts

Posted 15 November 2017 - 08:13 PM

I find myself wondering what these recitals are for. I accidentally found myself at one last year because it was branded as the end of year ceremony for co-op. My kid was in one class (IEW). I sat there for over two hours trying to keep the two younger kids still while we listened to little kids play hot cross buns and twinkle twinkle little star, and voice students sing badly to overproduced recorded accompaniment. What was the point? Same with ballet and tap, why get 4, 5, and 6 year olds up there in overpriced outfits to show almost zero skill? I feel like we are not encouraging excellence with this type of stuff. (I'm not including competitions btw, like wrestling, swimming that type of thing, I get that.)

 

It should really be a chance to practice performing in public, and a goal to work towards.  

 

I think the people who manage them often lose sight of the real purpose though, and then they make poor choices.


  • SamanthaCarter likes this