Cat people, is there any hope? Cats fighting UPDATE Post #36

[Lady Florida.]

I hope we don't have to get rid of our newest cat. Here's the situation. 

 

We have a 9yo female, spayed  early. When we brought her home at 4 months we already had an adult cat and a dog. She was happy to live with both of them and even became best buds with the dog. Our older cat didn't like her being here but he tolerated her. The older cat died in 2012 and the dog in early 2016. She's been an only cat for 5 years and an only pet for almost 2 years.

 

My cousin had a 1 yo female, also spayed around 6 months, but she works long hours, comes home tired, and isn't able to give her much attention. We took her home with the stipulation that if it didn't work my cousin would take her back. 

 

Sunday will be three weeks since we brought her home. I didn't expect them to accept each other right away but I thought we'd be making progress by now. Cookie, the new cat, lives mostly in adult ds' bedroom. He's appointed himself her protector and his room as her safe room.  :001_wub:  We let her out to explore the "big house" when Crooksanks, the 9yo is on the back porch. We've tried a few times to have them in the house together. Mostly they hissed and spit at each other then Cookie would run to ds' room where she feels safe. 

 

The past two days though our older cat is actually chasing after the kitten. Today she jumped on her, Cookie got away, and is in ds' room feeling scared. 

 

This isn't the first time I brought a new cat or kitten into a house with an existing cat but it's the first time it's been this bad. My sweet cuddly girl has become a monster. She's still sweet with her humans but is absolutely not happy about her new roommate. 

 

Any suggestions? Should we give up and give her back or give it more time? Will they ever learn to at least tolerate each other and if so, how do we get to that point?

 

Update here

Edited November 28, 2017 by Lady Florida.

[hornblower]

I'd say give it more time. This sounds normal to me. 
Make sure there are 3+ litter boxes, lots of climbing trees and bookcases and hidey holes and numerous feeding stations.  I'd keep doing what you're doing and ignore the hissing and spitting. 

[Lady Florida.]

I'd say give it more time. This sounds normal to me. 

Make sure there are 3+ litter boxes, lots of climbing trees and bookcases and hidey holes and numerous feeding stations.  I'd keep doing what you're doing and ignore the hissing and spitting. 

 

Thanks. The kitten actually has a litter box in ds' room but he'd like to get it out of there. We've always had cats who share a litter box but that seems a long way off this time.

 

We've been ignoring the hissing and spitting but watching in case we need to intervene. We had to intervene twice, when the older cat actually attacked the kitten. I was hoping they'd keep it at hissing and puffing their tails, then just ignore each other. 

 

We really don't want to give up but don't want either cat to truly get hurt.

Edited October 20, 2017 by Lady Florida.

[Jenn in FL]

:grouphug:

 

We are a multi (and I do mean multi  :lol: ) indoor cat family.  Around here, we refer to this period of time as "cat integration!"  In most instances, it simply blows... Sigh.  For awhile, everyone in the house will likely be unhappy.  :closedeyes:  Then it will all simmer down to a large degree.

 

A kitty hierarchy is being established and generally speaking, it just has to run its course.  You are doing all the right things.  It just takes time. Sometimes more time than other times. Go figure.  

 

Bigger (more dominant cat) will probably eventually tire of the bullying and little cat will eventually grow bigger and more comfortable, albeit may remain ever watchful for her nemesis! 

 

Hang in there...

 

[Matryoshka]

It depends.

 

It does always take some time.  The usual recommendation is to keep the new cat in a separate room for a while, which gives them time to get used to each other's scents before they meet face to face.  We have used this trick to introduce a number of cats to each other successfully.

 

But some cats just don't get used to each other.

 

We had a cat who was an alone cat for a long time.  Dh brought home a stray.  He chased her and she lived all the time in hiding.  We ended up giving her away.  Then we took in a pregnant stray who had her kittens with us.  He tried bullying her, but after she had her kittens she went mama bear on him and decided he had to die.  Like she was literally going to kill him, not just beat him up.  We ended up giving her and two of the kittens away and kept two.  Old cat ended up getting on great with the male.  He and the female tolerated each other.

 

Fast forward, both males died.  We got two 1-yo siblings from a shelter where they were loose with a ton of other cats.  I figured it would be fine, esp. since they were still almost kittens.  Nope.  We actually have had to separate the siblings and our now older female into two separate parts of the house.  At first, they terrorized her.  They still break into her space sometimes and we get huge cat fights, but she has learned to hold her own.  But they still can't be in the same space.  One of the new cats now sometimes breaks in and doesn't attack her, but just sits under a table and stares at her.  What is his deal.  Anyway, good thing we don't have an open concept house... 

Edited October 20, 2017 by Matryoshka

[Raifta]

We had a similar issue in the last couple of years - we were down to a single calico cat who had been living with 3 others for most of her life but then had been a singleton for almost 3 years.  

 

Brought in a new stray feral kitten.  They did NOT get along.  It took probably 4 months before they were willing to be in the same room without a vicious fight but we persisted (they were in separate rooms initially for almost a month but the one room had a glass door so they could see each other and sniff each other under the door).  But they did eventually mostly sort things out although the kitten grew to be huge and could overpower the calico (although being smaller she could hide in places he couldn't).

 

Fast forward another year and we brought in a neighbourhood stray - this went almost worse than the first and we ended up giving over 2/3 of the basement to the calico so she could live out her senior years (she was 17 at that time) in peace.  After about 3 months of that we did end up slowly integrating her back into the gen pop of cats and this time things went better - but it still took a long time before we left them all alone all together all the time.  

 

All this to say that we now have 3 mostly peaceful coexisting cats (and have even added a dog - this was by far the least problematic addition) but it took a lot of time and we did have to segregate into rooms/areas for quite some time with both new cat introductions.  I would give it more time - at least another month.

[gingersmom]

We took in a second cat (male) when our cat (female) was about 5 years old. The male is significantly larger and about 2 years older.

 

He loved her at first sight, she despised him.

 

It took one year for her to stop attacking him (he would just lovingly look at her)

 

It's been several years and they live in peace. He is still madly in love, she is in like. He grooms her, she occasionally attacks him.

Edited October 20, 2017 by gingersmom

[Lady Florida.]

We took in a second cat (male) when our cat (female) was about 5 years old. The male is significantly larger and about 2 years older.

 

He loved her at first sight, she despised him.

 

It took one year for her to stop attacking him (he would just lovingly look at her)

 

It's been several years and they live in peace. He is still madly in love, she is in like. He grooms her, she occasionally attacks him.

 

LOL. Cats are really funny. I'm sure there's something ancient and instinctual going on there but it's still funny.

[SparklyUnicorn]

It takes time, but I recommend you take some action to help things along because I think you could be headed into a situation where the new cat never feels safe and just hides the entire time.

 

When I got the second cat, I was letting the first cat out periodically.  She was content to just sit in the yard for a bit and then come in shortly after.  She was mostly an indoor cat.  The new cat I never let out because he was born indoors and never went outside and was terrified of even trying.  He never tried to dart out (unlike my first cat who wasn't exclusively outdoors, but very obviously was used to going out sometimes).  So she was not too thrilled with having a new cat around and hissed a lot.  New cat was not phased.  After time though, the first cat started staying out longer and longer and it got to the point where she didn't want to come in.  He basically took over the indoors and she didn't have a place and was happier to be outdoors away from him.  So, I stopped letting her outside at all.  It took awhile for things to sort out, but now they get along fairly well.  She has reclaimed areas of the indoor space as her own.  At this point they aren't best friends, but they can both be on my bed with me without losing it.  So it's pretty good I think. 

 

So if you don't kinda force the situation and just let the other cat hide in the room, that cat will probably stop wanting to ever come out of the room.  And you don't want that I'm sure. 

[Lady Florida.]

It takes time, but I recommend you take some action to help things along because I think you could be headed into a situation where the new cat never feels safe and just hides the entire time.

 

 

 

That's what I'm afraid of. I don't want either of them to get hurt but don't want the new cat to basically live in one room. They're both indoor cats and will stay that way. They both like time on the screen porch but that's the extent of their being outside.

[SparklyUnicorn]

You could start off little by little.  Bring the two cats in the same room and give them treats.  I did a bit of that.  The first cat was willing to overlook the presence of the other cat for a treat. 

 

 

[Okra]

Or treats on opposite sides of a closed door......they could get used to each other's smells

[Audrey]

From my experience (and you know well how extensive that is  :lol:  ) female to female cat relationships are the toughest to negotiate.  But... it can be done.  With cats, it is the females who are alphas, especially if all the cats in the group are spayed/neutered.   What seems to help best is to allow them to claim their own spaces.  The higher up they are, the more secure they will feel, so tall cat trees with perches are a must.  Put those near windows.  It makes them feel like they are queens of all they survey and looking out a window makes it feel like their turf is huge.  What's important, too, is that they both have spaces to go to get away from each other and that they feel they "own." 

 

You can try to acclimate them to each other by feeding them at the same time at opposite sides of the room.  Eventually move the bowls a little closer together.  Have 2 people there reassuring both girls that everything is fine.  If they get to the point where they can eat together within a foot or so of each other, then you're probably going to be okay.  

 

Lots of cuddles and love can help.  The older cat may need reassurance.  The younger may need confidence.  If the younger cat is presenting herself like a potential prey, the older cat may be acting on that, too.  In that case, building up confidence for the younger cat is critical, so that she doesn't walk around like she's expecting to be attacked.  

 

There's more I could say, but that's just what I'm thinking from what you've presented here. 

[Lady Florida.]

From my experience (and you know well how extensive that is  :lol:  ) female to female cat relationships are the toughest to negotiate.  But... it can be done.  With cats, it is the females who are alphas, especially if all the cats in the group are spayed/neutered.   What seems to help best is to allow them to claim their own spaces.  The higher up they are, the more secure they will feel, so tall cat trees with perches are a must.  Put those near windows.  It makes them feel like they are queens of all they survey and looking out a window makes it feel like their turf is huge.  What's important, too, is that they both have spaces to go to get away from each other and that they feel they "own." 

 

You can try to acclimate them to each other by feeding them at the same time at opposite sides of the room.  Eventually move the bowls a little closer together.  Have 2 people there reassuring both girls that everything is fine.  If they get to the point where they can eat together within a foot or so of each other, then you're probably going to be okay.  

 

Lots of cuddles and love can help.  The older cat may need reassurance.  The younger may need confidence.  If the younger cat is presenting herself like a potential prey, the older cat may be acting on that, too.  In that case, building up confidence for the younger cat is critical, so that she doesn't walk around like she's expecting to be attacked.  

 

There's more I could say, but that's just what I'm thinking from what you've presented here. 

 

Yes! You're the cat whisperer. That's much nicer than cat lady, isn't it?  :lol:  Seriously, I'm glad you responded.

 

Let's see - The little one sometimes acts like prey and sometimes holds her ground. I didn't realize being spayed is a detriment to their getting along. I thought since neither of them have the necessary parts for a tom that they wouldn't feel in competition with each other. We haven't tried feeding them in the same room yet because they don't seem able to be in the same room without at least hissing at each other. Plus I'm not sure the kitten would feel safe eating while the big cat is able to see her.

 

We've been trying to reassure our older cat that she's still our girl. Still giving her lots of cuddles. She doesn't seem mad at us (yet) because she still sits on dh's lap when he's watching tv and still cuddles up to me at bedtime. 

 

I guess we just have to keep trying and hope things improve.

 

My cousin originally was trying to get a rescue organization to take her and they were going to. Then Harvey hit Texas and they were slammed with stray/lost/abandoned cats. A short time later Irma hit closer to home and they got slammed even worse. They couldn't take in a cat that was already in a safe home. When I was visiting and she asked me (while I was petting Cookie of course) if we wanted another cat I said we were thinking about it. Next thing I know I was saying we'd take her. This cousin is 9 weeks older than me. We grew up very close because not only are our mothers sisters, but our fathers were best friends before they married our mothers. She's always been able to talk me into doing something, which often got me in trouble when we were kids. Apparently her hold over me hasn't gone away even now that we're old ladies.  :lol:

[Audrey]

Yes! You're the cat whisperer. That's much nicer than cat lady, isn't it?  :lol:  Seriously, I'm glad you responded.

 

Let's see - The little one sometimes acts like prey and sometimes holds her ground. I didn't realize being spayed is a detriment to their getting along. I thought since neither of them have the necessary parts for a tom that they wouldn't feel in competition with each other. We haven't tried feeding them in the same room yet because they don't seem able to be in the same room without at least hissing at each other. Plus I'm not sure the kitten would feel safe eating while the big cat is able to see her.

 

We've been trying to reassure our older cat that she's still our girl. Still giving her lots of cuddles. She doesn't seem mad at us (yet) because she still sits on dh's lap when he's watching tv and still cuddles up to me at bedtime. 

 

I guess we just have to keep trying and hope things improve.

 

My cousin originally was trying to get a rescue organization to take her and they were going to. Then Harvey hit Texas and they were slammed with stray/lost/abandoned cats. A short time later Irma hit closer to home and they got slammed even worse. They couldn't take in a cat that was already in a safe home. When I was visiting and she asked me (while I was petting Cookie of course) if we wanted another cat I said we were thinking about it. Next thing I know I was saying we'd take her. This cousin is 9 weeks older than me. We grew up very close because not only are our mothers sisters, but our fathers were best friends before they married our mothers. She's always been able to talk me into doing something, which often got me in trouble when we were kids. Apparently her hold over me hasn't gone away even now that we're old ladies.  :lol:

 

For getting them to share a room to eat, try bringing one in and then put up a sheet or large cardboard and bring in the other one to eat opposite that.  This blocks sight from each other, but they will smell each other.  The aim here is to slowly be able to eliminate the sheet/cardboard and have them be able to see each other and still eat.  Then bring bowls closer together.  If you do this for every feeding, it works better.  It's a bit more difficult to implement if you are not a timed feeder (i.e. you leave for out for them to graze at all times).  The older cat will probably not like the change in eating schedule, so that's something to implement with her first until she's comfortable.  Then try the same-room thing.  In the meantime, do look at assigning them some space of their own, a cat tower, a room, etc.  Work on Cookie's confidence, too.  

 

This is a long process for sure.  But relationships take time -- even between cats. 

[Lady Florida.]

For getting them to share a room to eat, try bringing one in and then put up a sheet or large cardboard and bring in the other one to eat opposite that.  This blocks sight from each other, but they will smell each other.  The aim here is to slowly be able to eliminate the sheet/cardboard and have them be able to see each other and still eat.  Then bring bowls closer together.  If you do this for every feeding, it works better.  It's a bit more difficult to implement if you are not a timed feeder (i.e. you leave for out for them to graze at all times).  The older cat will probably not like the change in eating schedule, so that's something to implement with her first until she's comfortable.  Then try the same-room thing.  In the meantime, do look at assigning them some space of their own, a cat tower, a room, etc.  Work on Cookie's confidence, too.  

 

This is a long process for sure.  But relationships take time -- even between cats. 

 

Thank you Audrey. We'll give this a try. They do graze on dry food throughout the day but they get canned food once a day at supper time (they look forward to it and start hovering about half hour before). I'll see about doing this with their canned food. 

[J-rap]

We had that situation.  Our older cat was female, our new young cat male, both spayed/neutered.  The female cat was never the friendliest and only liked a few people, while the male cat was very sociable (almost like a dog) and loved everyone.  But the female was ferocious with him at first.  They slowly got used to each other and could be in the same room together, but never cuddled or got to be friends.  The male cat and our dog got along well and slept together; the female was a loner, although she still got her human attention from the ones she liked.  The female was clearly the boss, and the male -- even though bigger -- walked large circles around her rather than walk too close.  If he did, she'd hiss.

 

Over time they shared the same litter box and even the same food bowl (we kept dry food out all day for them to graze), but the female only ever tolerated the male.

[snowbeltmom]

We got an adult female cat from the shelter and two years later, brought home a male kitten.  There was definitely an adjustment period with lots of hissing and spitting by the female and trembling by the kitten.

 

Initially, we had the kitten in my boys' bedroom and had it blocked off by a couple of old baby gates stacked one on top of the other.  Once the hissing at the gate became less frequent, we put the kitten in a cat carrier and took him into other rooms in the house.

 

It took about 2 months before I felt it was safe to leave them alone together in the house.  It has been 9 years since we brought the kitten home.  They still have the occasional squabble, but for the most part they get along.

 

Good luck!

[Reefgazer]

I'd give it more time; cats work out their hierarchy in time.  Because your older cat is getting up there in years and has been an only for a few years now, they might never really 'get along' and there probably be the occasional hisses and spats.  But over time it should lessen and they'll establish their own territories and routines.

[Lizzie in Ma]

In the middle of this myself.  Oldest brought home a 7 year old, really sweet ginger from the assisted living home she works at.  Kitten wants to be his friend, gray kitty is indifferent but the alpha male is being a dick,  It has always worked out in the past, so I am hopeful but geez. There was quite a scuffle last night.

[Stacia]

It will probably work out, but just needs more time.

 

We are in a similar situation. I've always had cats (multiple ones), usually more male cats than females. Due to some elderly/sick pet deaths in our family this year (3 of them! :crying: ) & new additions to our house since then, we have 4 cats. Three of them are female. The integration seems harder this time than in times past. (I am more used to having male cats than female cats.)

 

We have a male who is 4. He's laid-back & gets along w/ all the other cats. Mr. Easygoing.

 

We have a Siamese female that was feral, starving outside our house, & we managed to catch her & bring her in. Even though she's been inside for almost two years now & she's very dedicated to me (& to the male cat, whom she adores & loves like crazy), she has no patience for the other 2 newer cats in our home. I suspect she's trying to ensure she is the cat overlord. (She's the one the vet office named Hannibal Lecter because of her behavior there. :lol: ) This cat is tiny (slim, small) but fierce.

 

The next cat is a kitten that my dd adopted this summer. (Her cat that she had since early childhood is one who died earlier this year. He had cancer.) She's about 5 months old now. She was adopted through a shelter. I think we have a Maine Coon (or at least part Maine Coon) on our hands. She is already almost the size of the Siamese. The Siamese likes to chase/attack her. However, sometimes, the kitten tries to antagonize her, so there's a bit of a two-way street going on here. There are tiffs & scuffles that we try to nip in the bud, but they keep happening. If we are not home or at night (when we are all asleep), we keep the kitten & the Siamese separated so that a rip-roaring fight can't happen. I figure that once the kitten gets to be an adult, some of this may stop just because this kitten is going to be a huge, huge cat. (My guess is that she might be an 18-pounder once she's fully grown.)

 

Last cat is a hurricane rescue from among my sister's cats (she's always rescuing & re-homing cats). I think this cat is about 4 or 5 & got along fine with other cats while at my sister's house. She's still a bit skittish here. Siamese has checked her out but not actively attacked her. But, this new cat is not challenging in any way, is deferential, & is also bigger than the Siamese. We keep her in with the kitten when the cats are separated. (So, we have the male cat & the Siamese in one part of the house; kitten & hurricane rescue in another part when we're not around. Of course, wherever the male cat is when we need to separate cats is where we let him stay since he gets along w/ everyone.)

 

It's a bit of a pain, but it gets minimally better each week. It will be nice when we don't have to separate them.

 

Hopefully yours will make peace over the next few months.

Edited October 22, 2017 by Stacia

[Jenn in FL]

In the middle of this myself.  Oldest brought home a 7 year old, really sweet ginger from the assisted living home she works at.  Kitten wants to be his friend, gray kitty is indifferent but the alpha male is being a dick,  It has always worked out in the past, so I am hopeful but geez. There was quite a scuffle last night.

 

 

Lizzie...ya made me laugh!   :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 

Thank you!

[Lady Florida.]

It will probably work out, but just needs more time.

 

We are in a similar situation. I've always had cats (multiple ones), usually more male cats than females. Due to some elderly/sick pet deaths in our family this year (3 of them! :crying: ) & new additions to our house since then, we have 4 cats. Three of them are female. The integration seems harder this time than in times past. (I am more used to having male cats than female cats.)

As I thought about it I realized I/we've always had either male & female cats or all males. This is the first time I brought a female cat home when we already had a female.

 

We have a Siamese female that was feral, starving outside our house, & we managed to catch her & bring her in. Even though she's been inside for almost two years now & she's very dedicated to me (& to the male cat, whom she adores & loves like crazy), she has no patience for the other 2 newer cats in our home. I suspect she's trying to ensure she is the cat overlord. (She's the one the vet office named Hannibal Lecter because of her behavior there. :lol: ) This cat is tiny (slim, small) but fierce.

 

I think we have a Maine Coon (or at least part Maine Coon on our hands). However, sometimes, the kitten tries to antagonize her, so there's a bit of a two-way street going on here. There are tiffs & scuffles that we try to nip in the bud, but they keep happening. If we are not home or at night (when we are all asleep), we keep the kitten & the Siamese separated so that a rip-roaring fight can't happen. I figure that once the kitten gets to be an adult, some of this may stop just because this kitten is going to be a huge, huge cat. (My guess is that she might be an 18-pounder once she's fully grown.)

I'm wondering if the kitten was not abandoned but instead was feral. They found her in the back yard when she was a tiny thing (about 4 months) and they do have cats in the area. They don't know if those cats are feral or just neighborhood cats allowed to roam outdoors. Although she's not averse to interacting with humans, she's pretty skittish. I'm pretty sure if you look up the definitions for scaredy-cat or fraidy-cat you'll see a photo of her. :) 

 

I didn't mention that she wasn't an only cat at my cousin's. She (my cousin) has an 8yo male who also happens to be a Maine Coon. Along the lines of your Hannibal Lecter, this one's name is Charlie and they call him Charlie Manson.  :lol:  He and the kitten actually got along though, so I thought she would be okay with our adult cat. My cousin isn't planning to rehome Charlie because he's fine with the small amount of attention she's able to give.

 

Audrey asked if Cookie gives off the impression of being prey. She does, but not all the time. She too is sometimes the instigator. She's not little miss innocent kitten terrified of the big meanie cat. I do think if there was a real fight the older cat could hurt the kitten. So far we've only had scuffles. We never leave them alone together and definitely not at night. I hope we don't have to wait until she's full grown for them to be okay together.

 

Last cat is a hurricane rescue from among my sister's cats (she's always rescuing & re-homing cats). I think this cat is about 4 or 5 & got along fine with other cats while at my sister's house. She's still a bit skittish here. Siamese has checked her out but not actively attacked her. But, this new cat is not challenging in any way, is deferential, & is also bigger than the Siamese. We keep her in with the kitten when the cats are separated. (So, we have the male cat & the Siamese in one part of the house; kitten & hurricane rescue in another part when we're not around. Of course, wherever the male cat is when we need to separate cats is where we let him stay since he gets along w/ everyone.)

 

It's a bit of a pain, but it gets minimally better each week. It will be nice when we don't have to separate them.

 

Hopefully yours will make peace over the next few months.

 

You have your hands full! 

[Lady Florida.]

I thought I should offer photos because they're cats and this is the internet. :D  Also, if one can help it, one should not start a pet thread without showing pictures of said pets. 

 

I always have trouble uploading photos to WTM so I'm linking to facebook. You don't have to be my friend or even be on facebook to view them. 

 

This is Cookie, the new addition -

 

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10159248277825447.1073741838.716370446&type=1&l=ddb1bfd634

 

Video of Cookie's first time on screen porch. Our cats are always indoor cats with the exception of being allowed on the screen porch. My cousin has a cat door going to her porch so Cookie was used to going out there whenever she wanted. At our house cats have to ask to be let out. And let in. And let out. And...

 

https://www.facebook.com/kathy.m.chumley/videos/10159305734095447/?l=3890378392497761144

 

 

Crookshanks our 9yo. So named by ds because of Harry Potter. It's a mouthful of a name. She'd have been better off being named Princess because she thinks she is one.

 

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10159323356675447.1073741839.716370446&type=1&l=fa1545353e

 

 

 

Edited October 22, 2017 by Lady Florida.

[stephanier.1765]

Per this thread, I've been letting my not so new cat (walked in the door in Jan.) and my old not very nice cat mingle today. They each have their own person/room where they like to hang out but they are never in the main part of the house at the same time. Today I just got tired of the whole merry-go-round and left my bedroom door open. It's been tense for sure.  A couple of fights, lots of hissing, and a bit of chasing. I don't think new cat has had a nap all day. I may put mean cat away for a while to give new cat a break while I cook dinner. Pets sure can be stressful.

[Stacia]

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Edited October 24, 2017 by Stacia

[Stacia]

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Edited October 24, 2017 by Stacia

[Jenn in FL]

Oh Lady Florida...

 

Bumping and requesting an update if you have time.

 

Several of us are *invested* in this saga!   :lol:

 

Here's hoping all the principal players are "playing nicely" and that your life is back to normal!

[Lady Florida.]

Oh Lady Florida...

 

Bumping and requesting an update if you have time.

 

Several of us are *invested* in this saga!   :lol:

 

Here's hoping all the principal players are "playing nicely" and that your life is back to normal!

 

No change yet. :( 

 

We're just going to keep working on it and accept that it will take longer than we had hoped.

[lailasmum]

I found relationships improved as the youngest cats aged and mellowed. There were glimmers of bonding between our now deceased 17yr old male cat and our young female cat who is now 3. A bit of grooming and hanging out together every few months. It took a good long while though. A couple of our cats were never friends because they were too over friendly generally and our eldest cat hated the attention. They could co-exist in the same house as long as they had some areas that were just their own. I also fed them separately.

[Remudamom]

I've got 9 or 10 cats.  Give it time.

[stephanier.1765]

No change yet. :(

 

We're just going to keep working on it and accept that it will take longer than we had hoped.

 

Following on your heels. No change here yet either. My newest cat has a heart problem so I have to be careful not to let things get too exciting.

[MissShellyA]

I think as some PPs have pointed the biggest thing is not making this a battle for territory. Crookshanks is likely feeling like this new kitten is here to take his space rather than share it. Make sure there are extra litter boxes, places to get water, and even adding new cat furniture or shelves for them to utilize will likely relieve a lot of tension. If you can, try to get them to eat together so they get used to being vulnerable around one another. This can often make a big difference. Make sure you're giving them both a lot of exercise so that they aren't on edge and ready to fight too! If all else fails, my vet recommend me a cat pheromone called Feliway when my new cat was having anxiety problems. I've never used it but they also have one specifically for tense multi-cat homes that might help: https://www.feliway.com/us/Feliway-MultiCat

 

Good luck! I hope this works out for you all.

[ktgrok]

Cat relationships take months, so you are right on track :)

 

Also, they are BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!

 

My older kitty didn't like the kitten we took in at all, but by about 6 months later they were grooming each other and snuggling. Sort of. We call it "hate snuggling" lol, because it was like the big one thought "I don't like you, but you are the only other cat here, and we are social animals, so I guess I'll snuggle you."  Kind of like prison relationships, lol. 

 

They snuggle every day now :)

[Lady Florida.]

***UPDATE***

 

Real, actual progress is being made. They will stare at each other for a long time, then finally one will walk away. I think it helped that Cookie finally decided to stop acting like prey and started saying, "Hey, I live here too." 

 

They still aren't eating together or sharing a litterbox. We still won't leave them alone together overnight or when we're not home. There might still be a scuffle or two.

 

But we no longer have to watch them constantly when they're both in the same area! 

 

I'm not sure they'll ever become buddies. I've only had a few cats who sought each other out for company. That's okay though. If they can just live together peacefully I'll be happy.

[Stacia]

Glad to hear that there is slow improvement!

[Jenn in FL]

This saga closely mirrors a conversation I recently had with one of my grown daughters.

 

Good roommates are not required  to be "bffs."

 

They simply have to be able to successfully coexist peacefully!    :rolleyes:

 

CONGRATULATIONS!   :hurray: