Jump to content


What's with the ads?

Photo
- - - - -

anybody else have a baby who will not sleep without full body contact?


31 replies to this topic

What's with the ads?

#1 maize

maize

    Maizgyver

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 18710 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 10:25 AM

My oldest was like this, but it was easier when I didn't have six other children to take care of!
This baby absolutely will not sleep unless he is in full body contact with someone. If I leave him alone he is awake within five minutes.

He was this way even as a newborn at the hospital--I sent him to the nursery as much as I could so I could try to rest and the nurses kept commenting on how he wouldn't sleep unless he was being held.

I'm not looking for advice, maybe just commiseration. I love cuddling sleeping babies, I just have so much else that needs doing too!

#2 Sherry in OH

Sherry in OH

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 2103 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 10:44 AM

My oldest was like this.  Not only wouldn't he sleep, he would cry.  He outgrew the crying part within a few months. The sleeping took longer.  



#3 OneStepAtATime

OneStepAtATime

    Beekeeping Professor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 32492 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 10:44 AM

Hugs.

#4 Lady Marmalade

Lady Marmalade

    Hive Mind Level 5 Worker: Forager Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1969 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 10:48 AM

No advice, just commiseration.  Though, I didn't have a full house at the time!

 

DS would not sleep without me.  I would go to bed every night with him curled up into my back.  If I moved during the night, he would scooch until he found me again.   Nap time was always in a recliner in the living room, I would lean back in the chair and he slept away on my stomach.  Nap time was always movie time for DD when she was home, when she was in school I got in my own TV viewing.

 

On the plus side, it was easy to wake him because I would either get up in the morning or at nap time I would lie him down on the couch and he would wake within a few minutes.   Very, very rarely he would continue sleeping and then I didn't know what to do with myself!

 

Nap time ended by 2 1/2, but he slept with me at night until he was 4-ish.   

 

ETA: This child is now 6'3" tall and growing.  I never miss past stages of growth, but sometimes I miss that little snuggle bug.  He still loves to come to mom for a hug though.  :) 


Edited by Lady Marmalade, 20 October 2017 - 10:49 AM.

  • Lakeside, Corraleno and maize like this

#5 Sassenach

Sassenach

    Dinna Fash Yourself

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 6358 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 10:51 AM

Co-sleeping and baby wearing are the only ways I survived!

Funny enough, I had another kid who could not fall asleep if he was being held. They’re all so different.
  • maize likes this

#6 ktgrok

ktgrok

    Apprentice Bee Keeper

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 20321 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 11:04 AM

Yup, oldest was that way. I say, if at all possible can you have one of the other kids snuggle baby during at least nap times? That would free up your hands and the holder could watch a documentary or something? And I'm hoping you have a good, supportive baby carrier? I have tried lots (sling, mei tai, ergo, boba, etc and my lillebabe carrier is BY FAR the absolute best/most usable/most comfortable to wear for longer periods of time.)


  • maize likes this

#7 foxbridgeacademy

foxbridgeacademy

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 4866 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 11:15 AM

Youngest was like that, it was a good excuse for me to get naps.  She finally grew out of it at around 18 months when I weaned her.


  • maize likes this

#8 hjffkj

hjffkj

    Apprentice Bee Keeper

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 6287 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 11:20 AM

My 9 month is currently sleeping in my lap because he is that baby. The only time that he'll sleep without touching someone is at night but only if he is in my bed.
  • maize likes this

#9 Raifta

Raifta

    Hive Mind Level 5 Worker: Forager Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 329 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 11:36 AM

Both of mine were like that and it is a large part of the reason we only have two although I would have loved a couple more. 

 

But they were like piranhas - always attached.  Oldest not only required full body contact but also constant movement so I spent most of my time until youngest was born walking with her in a baby carrier.  Walking.  Always walking.  I did so much walking.

 

 I have no idea how you are doing this with 6 olders but kudos and hugs to you!


  • Corraleno, maize and heartlikealion like this

#10 maize

maize

    Maizgyver

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 18710 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 11:42 AM

Both of mine were like that and it is a large part of the reason we only have two although I would have loved a couple more.

But they were like piranhas - always attached. Oldest not only required full body contact but also constant movement so I spent most of my time until youngest was born walking with her in a baby carrier. Walking. Always walking. I did so much walking.

I have no idea how you are doing this with 6 olders but kudos and hugs to you!


This one likes movement too, the best investment we have made is a hammock, currently in my living room since it got too cold outside.

I can't manage a lot of carrying or baby wearing, he was 21 lbs at the 4 month mark and has only grown since, I am curious to see what he weighs in at at his six month appointment.

#11 okbud

okbud

    Cylon lover

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12293 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 11:50 AM

Yep! My two year old beast is asleep in his carrier on me right now. Every once in a while he'll be tired enough to fall asleep in his little gated off area, and it's like a religious experience every time haha
  • ktgrok, Sadie, MercyA and 3 others like this

#12 eternalsummer

eternalsummer

    Amateur Bee Keeper

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 4095 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 12:08 PM

Is it possibly the flat that he doesn't like and he would be better with a curved surface to sleep on?  If you're watching him I wouldn't worry about sids. 

 

We had a Nuna Leaf with the last 2 babies and it made a difference.  With my now 9 year old we had one of those discontinued hammock bed things, the Amby, which was fine.  With number 4 we had a swing from Walmart, just one of those plastic monstrosities with the lights and music (MIL bought it for us) - he loved that thing.

 

What I'm saying is none of mine have ever done much flat sleeping.


  • MercyA and maize like this

#13 bibiche

bibiche

    Hive Mind Larvae

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 2493 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 12:22 PM

I had one like that, also a big baby. Have you tried wrapping him on your back? I couldn't wear mine on the front or side because he was so heavy, but on my back was fine.
  • maize likes this

#14 maize

maize

    Maizgyver

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 18710 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 12:25 PM

Is it possibly the flat that he doesn't like and he would be better with a curved surface to sleep on? If you're watching him I wouldn't worry about sids.

We had a Nuna Leaf with the last 2 babies and it made a difference. With my now 9 year old we had one of those discontinued hammock bed things, the Amby, which was fine. With number 4 we had a swing from Walmart, just one of those plastic monstrosities with the lights and music (MIL bought it for us) - he loved that thing.

What I'm saying is none of mine have ever done much flat sleeping.


Yeah, I had one who only slept in the swing and only when it was swinging. I could put him in it when he was fussy and just see him relax--it was his own special nest.

It is definitely the body contact that this one wants.

#15 brehon

brehon

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 2392 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 12:27 PM

My current 5 yo is like that. He alternates between sleeping with dh and me <sigh> or crawling in bed with one of hus older brothers - neither of whom sleep well when he is in their beds.
  • maize likes this

#16 heartlikealion

heartlikealion

    Beekeeping Professor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12338 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 01:39 PM

My toddler is still like this to an extent. We co-sleep and sometimes she'll get out of bed looking for me. This morning she came to the kitchen and said, "Mama, you go back night night with me!" Ha. I took her up on that before, but if it's not the middle of the night then she's pretty much bluffing lol. Luckily she didn't get up looking for me when I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night, but that's happened before, too!

 

This is why I usually do not try to shower unless dh is home.


  • maize likes this

#17 myblessings4

myblessings4

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 6359 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 02:04 PM

Yep! My fourth (and last). He still wants to be touching someone to sleep.
  • maize likes this

#18 cjzimmer1

cjzimmer1

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 3110 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 02:46 PM

I'm still dealing this will my youngest and he not a baby anymore.  He will be 5 in a few months and he still wants to be stuck to me.  Several years ago we booted him out of our bed and into his sisters room.  But they have tired of him and as he gets older they are less and less comfortable with him in their room.  We just this week got him moved into his own bed in a different room and he will sleep there for a couple of hours but then he is back to sleeping in my bed for the rest of the night.  While I like the cuddles, sometimes I just really want some sleep!


  • maize likes this

#19 prairiewindmomma

prairiewindmomma

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 10480 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 03:03 PM

BTDT. I used baby slings and carriers extensively.

Have you ruled out reflux?

#20 Crimson Wife

Crimson Wife

    Qualified Bee Keeper

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 19256 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 03:18 PM

My oldest was like that and my mom put her foot down about CIO when we moved in with my folks during DH’s grad school. DD was 7 months at the time. Tough on me because I was all into AP but my mom was right


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

#21 Paige

Paige

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 5131 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 03:37 PM

BTDT. I used baby slings and carriers extensively.

Have you ruled out reflux?

 

I agree with checking into reflux. My baby is new but he also almost never sleeps unless I'm holding him. My back is killing me already and he's only a little over a week. I think it may be because I elevate him when he's with me and when I try to put him in his bed it's always flat on his back. He's very sneezy and spitty too. He's going for his checkup next week and I'm going to ask about reflux. Three of my four other kids had it and slept much better once they received medication. My oldest was never diagnosed but probably had it too and I was too much of a new parent to recognize it. He never, ever, ever slept. One of my girls had silent reflux and she actually spit up very little but because the older girls had it so badly I was able to recognize the other symptoms of it fairly early. 



#22 Sadie

Sadie

    Beekeeping Professor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 23018 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 04:31 PM

Ds was like this. Actually, the girls were too. The girls got better around 2/3, but ds - oh man - it was a long weaning process. He went from our bed to a bed next to us holding my hand (at 5!!!) and didn't make it out of our room till 10. So, I feel your pain. Well, with half the kids I feel half your pain :)

 

I do think it is pretty natural for babies to want contact. It's an evolutionary instict. Back in the day, your baby would never have been eaten by a sabre tooth tiger!!!


  • Lakeside, maize and Rosika like this

#23 marbel

marbel

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 8585 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 04:34 PM

My daughter was like this, until I stopped nursing her somewhere around age one.  She slept between my husband and me, spread out so she could be touching both of us.  When I was starting to wean her, I told her that when we stopped nursing she had to go into her own bed.  I didn't know if it would work; I didn't even know how much she understood. But the night after I said "this is the last night" she went to her own bed and has been there ever since.  Well, mostly. There have been a few times she's slept with me when she hasn't felt well, etc., but for the most part, she stopped needing that when she stopped nursing.



#24 Elizabeth86

Elizabeth86

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1435 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 08:07 PM

Yep. All 3 to an extent. Dd has been the best thankfully since she is the 3rd. My second was awful. Awful. My oldest watched way too much thomas and friends while ds 2 was napping. It's a pain because there is always SO MUCH TO Do, but a pleasure to snuggle all the same.

Edited by Elizabeth86, 20 October 2017 - 08:08 PM.


#25 cbreeding

cbreeding

    Hive Mind Royal Larvae

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 565 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 08:47 PM

Been there.  Lots of hugs.  My oldest especially needed it, but my other two craved it as well.  My oldest is why I took up babywearing.  As much as I would have liked to put her down, she would just scream and then vomit (even today she has a strong gag reflex) so to survived DH and I would just wear her.  At 10, almost 11, she is still quite affectionate and likes to sleep with weighted blankets so I imagine it was a sensory thing for her.  Sometimes you just gotta do what you need to survive. :tongue_smilie:

 

Lots and lots of  :grouphug: because it is very draining even if you want to do it and enjoy it for the most part.



#26 ktgrok

ktgrok

    Apprentice Bee Keeper

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 20321 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 08:49 PM

Sometimes you just gotta do what you need to survive. :tongue_smilie:

 

Lots and lots of  :grouphug: because it is very draining even if you want to do it and enjoy it for the most part.

 

Yup. I currently sleep out on the pull out couch every night because this one needs to co sleep at least part of the night, and crap sleep on a bad mattress is way better than no sleep rocking her forever trying to get her back in her crib.
SaveSave



#27 Vida Winter

Vida Winter

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 4713 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 08:54 PM

My first two were like this and the third gave me a break. Looking back on it... try to enjoy it. So soon they will be teenagers and you will long for those days. :crying:



#28 Hypatia.

Hypatia.

    Raising chaos

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1082 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 09:34 PM

All of mine were like that. #7 is 10 days old and he's the same way, right up against me all night either sleeping or nursing.


  • maize likes this

#29 J-rap

J-rap

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 11472 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 09:37 PM

My oldest was like that too.  He's 29 now!  He still has a hard time sleeping and has a very unique personality.  It'd be interesting to do a study on people who were like that as babies.   :)

 

 


Edited by J-rap, 20 October 2017 - 10:50 PM.

  • maize likes this

#30 maize

maize

    Maizgyver

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 18710 posts

Posted 20 October 2017 - 10:32 PM

All of mine were like that. #7 is 10 days old and he's the same way, right up against me all night either sleeping or nursing.


Congratulations!

Seven is a great number (and your siggy always makes me laugh :laugh:

#31 Rosika

Rosika

    Hive Mind Level 3 Worker: Honeymaking Bee

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 205 posts

Posted 21 October 2017 - 02:05 AM

I have one of those on my lap right now :) What's weird is that he's my least snuggly over all. He wants constant contact, but he's always leaning back off of my hip, he hates being hugged, he'll tolerate a single quick kiss, and he will only be "worn" high on the back - not the front. I loved that my last baby was like a little panda, always snuggling into my body and super lovey. She slept with me until she was 11. It stopped the day I went to the hospital to have this current baby. LOL I ended up with a c-section this time and couldn't lay flat afterwards because it hurt so badly to get back up. So we've been mostly sleeping in a recliner for the past year.  :lol:

 

 



#32 BlsdMama

BlsdMama

    Chief Zookeeper

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 6005 posts

Posted 21 October 2017 - 09:03 AM

My oldest was like this, but it was easier when I didn't have six other children to take care of!
This baby absolutely will not sleep unless he is in full body contact with someone. If I leave him alone he is awake within five minutes.

He was this way even as a newborn at the hospital--I sent him to the nursery as much as I could so I could try to rest and the nurses kept commenting on how he wouldn't sleep unless he was being held.

I'm not looking for advice, maybe just commiseration. I love cuddling sleeping babies, I just have so much else that needs doing too!


I am hopeful this is comforting. I still remember my first night with Liz (DD 3) in the hospital almost 16 years ago. She was incredibly demanding - touch, touch, touch, nurse, touch, repeat. ;) Someone once told me these babies you have to pour love into liberally become children who then pour that back into others. I don't know if it's true for everyone but it is very true in our case. She is one of the most loving and generous people I know. It's really challenging when babies need SO much and she was really (REALLY) intense until about two and then still intense but less so. But every second was totally worth it. (I really like her.) ;) Hope that is some comfort.
  • Iron Jenny Flint, mumto2 and Rosika like this