Word Nerd Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 This story is so crazy it's hard to believe it's real. I'd like to see an update from the Bridezilla, who ended a long-term friendship over her friend's inability to fork out $20,000 for a dress and accessories. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 When I saw the thread title, I was all like :smilielol5:. but after reading the story I'm just :crying: . What in the world is wrong with people? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Whee. In our circle, a lot of the brides are letting the girls pick their own dresses as long as they are [insert theme or color here]. That story is really sad. I wonder if the bride has divorced her own family, too. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 wow If true, that's insane. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I have not so close friends who snub old friends once they land a wealthy boyfriend so I can believe the Bridezilla did that. My wealthy cousins paid for the non relatives bridal party since the related were already paid for by their parents. The most expensive my friends spent was around $5k back in the mid 90s for renting two gowns, one for church and one for the traditional customary wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davysmom Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Wow! That is so sad and insane. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanier.1765 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I am thankful every day that my son's fiancee is no where in the realm of being a bridezilla. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Wow! So freaking stupid and narcissistic and ...... Just no. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 (edited) If that's the measure of friendship, the bride is someone I'd have no desire to remain friends with - even if we could have afforded the dress. TBH, her finance's family is the one at fault here. If MIL was wanting the dress, they should have covered it for all. It sounds like the finance's family wanted the bride to break free from her old friends and life so she could enter the Country Club without the wrong crowd hanging around - and it apparently worked. Edited October 20, 2017 by creekland 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sneezyone Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 (edited) American royalty (the kind with more money than class). Edited October 20, 2017 by Sneezyone 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 That bride may have married into great wealth. But she's incredibly poor when it comes to the things that make a person a decent human being. 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 That bride may have married into great wealth. But she's incredibly poor when it comes to the things that make a person a decent human being. Agreed. Lotsa money =/= rich. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 You do not have to be considered poor to not be able to afford a dress like that. I would be hurt that a "friend" would even ask me to do anything like that! 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Not a friendship I'd mourn losing... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evergreen State Sue Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 When I married in the late 80's I had bridesmaids whose sizes ranged from 2 to 22 so I got the bridesmaids together, picked out the material and a pattern that would look good on all sizes. I then found a seamstress to have the dresses made. Each dress was going to cost $100 and they could pick out whatever shoes they wanted as long as they were black. I also provided the jewelry. I had one bridesmaid who wasn't sure she wanted to spend that much but I told her she didn't need to get us a wedding present. I wish now I would have just paid the $100 for her but I didn't really think it was that outrageous. (We never know someone's real financial situation, but today that same bridesmaid, married to the same man then, is very well off - owns two houses and takes trips annually to various parts of the world.) In this story, the bride should have just paid for the $20,000 dress if her husband to be was that rich. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 When I married in the late 80's I had bridesmaids whose sizes ranged from 2 to 22 so I got the bridesmaids together, picked out the material and a pattern that would look good on all sizes. I then found a seamstress to have the dresses made. Each dress was going to cost $100 and they could pick out whatever shoes they wanted as long as they were black. I also provided the jewelry. I had one bridesmaid who wasn't sure she wanted to spend that much but I told her she didn't need to get us a wedding present. I wish now I would have just paid the $100 for her but I didn't really think it was that outrageous. (We never know someone's real financial situation, but today that same bridesmaid, married to the same man then, is very well off - owns two houses and takes trips annually to various parts of the world.) In this story, the bride should have just paid for the $20,000 dress if her husband to be was that rich. We did something similar, except that two of my bridesmaids were expert seamstresses as well as my mom and my grandmother so we didn't have to hire it out. The final cost of fabric, patterns, and notions was about $50.00. They could wear whatever white shoes they wanted that weren't flip flops, and I didn't care if they wore necklaces or not. Some did. Some didn't. I don't think anyone bought a necklace just for the wedding. It was whatever they already owned. I said "no gifts", and their flowers were provided so they just had to drive here, dress up, stand there, smile for photos, eat, and enjoy the day then go home. Two of them stayed in my room the night before the wedding because they lived too far to commute between rehearsal and the ceremony. I really don't get it. If you are rich, and want a Princess Kate wedding, then for goodness sake pay for it all! Otherwise, stop being a jerk. That's my philosophy. I would not mourn the loss of this woman. Whatever she may have been before marrying into money, she has allowed class superiority to dwarf her character. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 (edited) That is insane. My mom made my bridesmaids dresses. Recently I've seen the trend of this is the color everyone get the style they like best in the color. I like that because what looks great one girl does not on another. As to the story, if I read correctly, the woman was the only nonfamily in the party. Likely the only person who had to pay for her dress. I think it is likely someone encouraged setting up such barrier, knowing it was a way to separate the bride from her past social circles. And the bride was both weak enough to be manipulated and shallow enough to focus on her social climb. Edited October 20, 2017 by Diana P. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Did the dress come with a car? That is insane! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 very sad. so different from one letter Miss Manners received from a grandmother about her granddaughter's upcoming wedding. she wanted grandma to be her matron of honor because they had such a great relationship. grandma who was old and dumpy thought she would look frumpy in the pictures, and her granddaughter could do better, but the fiance was supportive. Miss Manners was right on the money when she said she thought this would be an unusually happy marriage. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 (edited) Did the dress come with a car? That is insane! It better have been bedazzled with real emeralds and rubies!!!! Edited October 20, 2017 by FaithManor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 Oh totally agree. Those two sound lovely, which is more than I can say for this couple. I still can’t get over the bride’s reported response. It's difficult to fathom how she could possibly believe she is the wronged party in this scenario. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 After all that I guess I'd be saying, "good riddance" on some level. But also thinking she may have been brainwashed by her new man/family and that she will regret her choices later. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 A friend is attending a wedding this weekend where the grandmas are the flower girls. Knowing this has made me happy for days. I love it so much. 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Oh totally agree. Those two sound lovely, which is more than I can say for this couple. I still can’t get over the bride’s reported response. given the reports of bridezillas sending *bills* to guests who didn't spend enough on their present to justify having been invited, - I can believe it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 given the reports of bridezillas sending *bills* to guests who didn't spend enough on their present to justify having been invited, - I can believe it. And there have been cases when bride's families have attempted to charge guests for the reception, a per head fee. Of course this is on the RSVP card and then they are shocked when nearly every response except grandma and grandpa is "regrets". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 You do not have to be considered poor to not be able to afford a dress like that. I would be hurt that a "friend" would even ask me to do anything like that!Right. This would be considered insane by 99.9% of people. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Right. This would be considered insane by 99.9% of people. Thank goodness! Because what if even a small minority were like this????? :svengo: :svengo: :svengo: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 And my MIL cranked about $160 for dress and shoes because I was kind enough to include her 2 daughters in the wedding party. Rofl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 My reaction? WTF? That was more than our sit-down dinner at a nice banquet hall wedding with 180 guests 26 years ago. For a dress? Was there a red carpet and paparazzi? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I know multimillionaires who would think this is insane. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 My reaction? WTF? That was more than our sit-down dinner at a nice banquet hall wedding with 180 guests 26 years ago. For a dress? Was there a red carpet and paparazzi? Or a literal prince waiting at the end of the aisle? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrips Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Wow! I was so cost conscious for my bridesmaids. I found them on sale and then used Macy’s coupons to make them even less expensive. They probably ended up around $50. And they could wear whatever shoe, jewelry, and hairstyle they wanted. What a shame for those friends. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 what a sad story. The update just makes it worse... I can't even imagine spending 15K for a wedding dress, much less a bridesmaid dress. I'm sorry she lost a friend, but like she said: she misses her old friend not the woman she has become. I too have seen bridesmaids picking out their own dresses in similar colors (it's what my own DIL did too). I like that trend. Everyone can find something that fits with their body type and in a price-point they can afford. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 This just reaffirms my gratitude for having a spouse who agreed to elope. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I agree that this sounds like the groom's family pushing the bride's "old life" away. :( The bride let it happen so ... her loss. This has me wondering what is a reasonable amount to expect bridesmaids to spend. I remember when my then-secretary got married, and she must not have had many friends, because she asked another not-so-close work friend to be in her wedding. This other friend is a really cranky person to begin with, and she whined about every aspect of her role. I still recall the fuss about the bride asking everyone to buy white shoes and have them dyed lavender (her favorite color). And this work friend was definitely richer than the bride. I just think weddings are too stressful - glad I avoided that particular drama. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 SKL, good question. I don't know how much is reasonable. Nice dresses tend to be pricey, not thousands pricey, but often north of $100. Dd gave her friends several options in multiple colors from a company called Light in the Box. The average amount spent was $75 delivered to the bridesmaids homes. She did not choose evening gowns since they aren't practical for future use. She did not dictate shoes. I suspect that the girls wore neutral tone shoes they already owned. She bought each one a nice necklace - not matching just chose something for each that she thought they might like - and I made the bouquets. The guys were more expensive. $120 with shoes. We offered $50 to each groomsman to keep them cost down. Most of dsil friends topped 6'3" and were built like linebackers though not overweight. If they had gone to the the tall shop and bought a shirt, tie, and pants and then needed shoes too it would have topped $120 by a good bit. Dsil gave his groomsmen really cool LED flashlights which were apparently quite popular! Some had travel expenses but they were from the same area so car pooled and shared room costs. We fed them on Friday, Saturday before the wedding, and had them make big sandwiches out of the leftover ham and roast beef from the rehearsal dinner for the road trip on Sunday and my mom handed out water bottles, bags of trail mix, and chips for every car. We tried really hard to make it doable for them. But for those without much income, even $75.00 and has to cross two states with four to a room at the cheap hotel may still be too much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Stuff like this makes me angry. Not just with the brides behaviour but that some people spend $5k on a single use dress and others can't buy their kids shoes for school. What the heck is wrong with the world. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Wow! I was so cost conscious for my bridesmaids. I found them on sale and then used Macy’s coupons to make them even less expensive. They probably ended up around $50. And they could wear whatever shoe, jewelry, and hairstyle they wanted. What a shame for those friends. Yeah, I tried to do that, too. The dresses were from Macys and I think they were <$100. They could wear whatever shoes and jewelry they wanted. But, I was also an older bride and had gone through the whole "bridesmaid thing" with other friends. None were over the top, but it does get expensive for a young woman, just starting out. Even a couple hundred dollars for the dress and shoes were hard for me to swallow at that time in my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 My husband's niece was in a sorority and quite popular before she married at thirty, ahead a bridesmaid in more than twenty weddings. Evening gowns every time. When she moved from NYC she donated her gowns to a program that helps provide prom wear in low income neighborhoods. I cannot think how much money she spent! It does not bear pondering. Moral of the story, do not have too many single girlfriends! 😄 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 (edited) This has me wondering what is a reasonable amount to expect bridesmaids to spend.My family culture is the bride pays for the bridesmaids and flower girl, the groom pays for the best men and ring boy. Sometimes the bridesmaids and best men already had to use their annual leave for the church rehearsal so asking them to pay for new clothes and shoes or clothes rental is just considered imposing. The best men usually have a tuxedo already which they use for all functions that require a tuxedo. The bridesmaids are the ones that usually end up with a one time use dress. We usually manage to borrow a tuxedo for the ring boy from friends. We had a court wedding and a small reception so the main expense was food. My in-laws were apparently annoying for my husband’s siblings weddings so my husband was all too happy to have a court wedding. My parents prefer simplicity so was happy to skip the fuss too. Wedding receptions are comparatively easy, my side of the family are used to feeding (catering food) large groups of relatives and friends up to six hundred guests at a cousin’s wedding. Edited October 20, 2017 by Arcadia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I was a bridesmaid in a wedding once where the bridesmaid's formal dresses actually had trains! Yup, you guessed it, that was one dress that was just about 'single use'. I think I wore it to a family Christmas Eve dinner, because I remember my grandfather complimenting me on it. It had a high, formal neckline--looked like pictures from around 1910 except that it was burgundy instead of black. I think I reminded him of his mother, LOL. That was quite a wedding. 300 guests, 6 bridesmaids, in one of the old California missions. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 My sister had only 2 or 3 bridesmaids, and I don't remember if she had them all dress alike or not. But what I did as part of my wedding gift was to pay for a spa day for my sister and her bridesmaids / maid of honor on the day of (wedding was evening). I included hair, facials, make-up, nails, etc. however they wanted them. I am sure my sister bought them each some nice jewelry. So hopefully they did not feel too upset that they needed to provide the dress. :) My sister was big on trying to make her wedding inexpensive - she herself bought a used gown and even a broken tiara, which my dad soldered for her. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 My entire wedding and reception was less than $3K and it was fairly formal. Huh. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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