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AHG/scout parents. *update in OP


bodiesmom
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Our AHG troop had a special event last weekend where some girls wore their class b shirts, and some did not. Really not a big deal for this particular event. Anyway, one of the girls (age 12) showed up in a skin tight dress, leggings and high heeled boots. I didn't think much of it, only thought it was odd being that these girls knew they were going to be outside in the mud.

 

I was speaking with the coordinator this afternoon and she mentioned that she needed to address the manner in which this particular girl dressed for this event.

 

I'm having huge reservations about this. Yes, AHG is incredibly conservative and the idea is to model "modesty". That said...... I just don't feel it is the troop's place to dictate to girls how they dress. It just feels like a boundary stomper. The certainty with which my coordinator declared this upcoming "intervention" has left me wondering if I'm missing something. Am I just too "liberal" in this thinking? I mean, if I am, then I am. I would just like to see where I fall on the spectrum with this.

 

So....What are your thoughts? Just curious- not looking to start or even entertain a scout bashing over this.

 

Update- everyone was so helpful with their advice/suggestions that I figured I would give a brief update. The coordinator and I spoke and we were able to come to an agreement to handle this by simply requiring class b shirts to ALL outside events, regardless of where said events are located. We have an upcoming service project for MADD which will involve lots of mud and yard work so as a troop last night we discussed specific clothing items to wear (pants, rain gear, work gloves, closed toe shoes, etc). All the girls, especially the PiPas, were right there animatedly contributing to the discussion and helping the younger TH understand, etc. so it was a success. 😄 Thank you all-

Edited by bodiesmom
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At 12 I never would have ever worn a thing like that. 16 yes, 12 too young, but my kids are babies so I'm not there yet. Just thinking no 12 year old I knew dressed this way, but that was a long time ago. However, if her parents ok'd this, I mean really what can you do? I guess it's no one else's business?

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Our AHG troop had a special event last weekend where some girls wore their class b shirts, and some did not. Really not a big deal for this particular event. Anyway, one of the girls (age 12) showed up in a skin tight dress, leggings and high heeled boots. I didn't think much of it, only thought it was odd being that these girls knew they were going to be outside in the mud.

 

I was speaking with the coordinator this afternoon and she mentioned that she needed to address the manner in which this particular girl dressed for this event.

 

I'm having huge reservations about this. Yes, AHG is incredibly conservative and the idea is to model "modesty". That said...... I just don't feel it is the troop's place to dictate to girls how they dress. It just feels like a boundary stomper. The certainty with which my coordinator declared this upcoming "intervention" has left me wondering if I'm missing something. Am I just too "liberal" in this thinking? I mean, if I am, then I am. I would just like to see where I fall on the spectrum with this.

 

So....What are your thoughts? Just curious- not looking to start or even entertain a scout bashing over this.

I think the best you can do is set a uniformly uniformed expectation for your events ... everyone wears "field uniform" (Class A) or everyone wears "activity uniform" (class B) rather than telling them what Not to wear.

 

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Seems to me it would be appropriate to encourage all girls to wear their uniforms for troop events.

 

I do not see any AHG policies regarding dress code when out of uniform, so it doesn't make sense to address any concerns from that angle.

Yes!! Lesson learned for not being more "firm" on the class B shirt uniform. Going forward we will definitely be "requiring" it.

 

That's my concern too....there really isn't a specific dress code laid out for non-uniform events, it's just implied.

 

Truth be told, my older daughter dresses much more modestly because that is just who she is and it just reflects how we have raised her. I don't see it as better or worse than how the other parents choose to let their girls dress. It's just different. So, while I don't think it is appropriate for her to dress that way, I am by no means going to look down on her. It's her choice. It isn't my job to parent her or tell her parents how to parent her.

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I don't think I would say anything. I'd just make a note to explain what the dress code is for next time.

 

12 is such an awkward age and there are a hundred reasons why she might have worn that particular outfit. It sounds like it was inappropriate for the situation but not necessarily inappropriate by her family's standards.

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It's none of the leader's business if it isn't in some sort of behavior guide/rule book already. AHG may be about "modeling" modesty, but IMHO, adults modeling or encouraging a behavior is far different from requiring and enforcing it among participants. If it were my group, my hope would be that the child would see her clothing doesn't quite fit in and would gradually tone it down of her own free will based on her own observations. I think that sort of behavior change is much more likely to be real and lasting.

 

Disclaimer- I don't care what other people's kids wear. 

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It's none of the leader's business if it isn't in some sort of behavior guide/rule book already. AHG may be about "modeling" modesty, but IMHO, adults modeling or encouraging a behavior is far different from requiring and enforcing it among participants. If it were my group, my hope would be that the child would see her clothing doesn't quite fit in and would gradually tone it down of her own free will based on her own observations. I think that sort of behavior change is much more likely to be real and lasting.

 

Disclaimer- I don't care what other people's kids wear.

This. Exactly.

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I think it should be left alone except for reminding the girls to wear their uniform for events.

 

I really hesitate to assign motive to a 12yo. Maybe the dress was her favorite and it fit her fine before her major growth spurt two weeks ago, and her mom gave in and let her wear it just so they could get out the door. Calling her out on it and making it a modesty issue in that case will be really awkward for the poor kid.

 

Not that I would know anything about stubborn emotional 12-year-olds that outgrow clothes faster than I can buy them.

Edited by musicianmom
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Every AHG troop has to have guidelines & policies that's submitted to AHG, it would include what they wear at group functions. A copy is usually given at the start of the year and parents sign agreement to it, but sometimes families don't read it.

 

If you're not at an event, than wear whatever you want, but if it's a group organized function, then you should follow the guidelines in the troop policy. That's probably why the leader wants to address it.

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Don't be that leader that shames girls into wearing "appropriate" clothes. Girls are changing so much right now and they are trying on different "skins". If you (or the other leader) say something, it could destroy what could be a very fragile time for her self-esteem. The clothes you wear aren't who you are. There could be a number of reasons she wore what she wore from "oops it fit a week ago" to "I'm pushing boundaries to get a reaction". She could have been coming from something else and it was either go in what she was wearing or not go at all and she chose to go. It's possible she was already uncomfortable with what she was wearing but she had little choice for whatever reason (she forgot to do laundry). If she was supposed to be getting muddy, I'm sure she's already learned a lesson to be more careful with what she wears. Natural consequence, right?

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Don't be that leader that shames girls into wearing "appropriate" clothes. Girls are changing so much right now and they are trying on different "skins". If you (or the other leader) say something, it could destroy what could be a very fragile time for her self-esteem. The clothes you wear aren't who you are. There could be a number of reasons she wore what she wore from "oops it fit a week ago" to "I'm pushing boundaries to get a reaction". She could have been coming from something else and it was either go in what she was wearing or not go at all and she chose to go. It's possible she was already uncomfortable with what she was wearing but she had little choice for whatever reason (she forgot to do laundry). If she was supposed to be getting muddy, I'm sure she's already learned a lesson to be more careful with what she wears. Natural consequence, right?

This is my fear. I'm absolutely NOT going to say anything as I agree with exactly everything stated above. I don't think the coordinator should address it in the manner she described, which would absolutely shame the girl and alienate the mom.

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Seems to me it would be appropriate to encourage all girls to wear their uniforms for troop events.

I do not see any AHG policies regarding dress code when out of uniform, so it doesn't make sense to address any concerns from that angle.

  

I think the best you can do is set a uniformly uniformed expectation for your events ... everyone wears "field uniform" (Class A) or everyone wears "activity uniform" (class B) rather than telling them what Not to wear.

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Agreeing 1million%

 

Don't make this into a modesty beating.

 

my girls have never tried to intentionally "look hot" (words escape me, but you know, going for that attention-grabbing outfit?) but due to their looks, figure, and/or clothing choices it sometimes just happens anyway ;)

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Every AHG troop has to have guidelines & policies that's submitted to AHG, it would include what they wear at group functions. A copy is usually given at the start of the year and parents sign agreement to it, but sometimes families don't read it.

 

If you're not at an event, than wear whatever you want, but if it's a group organized function, then you should follow the guidelines in the troop policy. That's probably why the leader wants to address it.

Tohru- our policy manual indicates that class b shirts are appropriate for non-troop meeting events, but the language doesn't require it. That will change.

 

It would be one thing if the coordinator was addressing the fact that a class b wasn't worn, but that isn't what is going on here. 1- most girls weren't in their class b's (including her own daughters) due to it being an "event" (badge workshop) at a private home and several girls are new and hadn't received them yet. 2. She specifically commented on the lack of appropriateness of what she wore.

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At the very least I'm getting that I'm not completely off my block to have huge reservations with the manner this is set to be addressed. I think I'm going to ask to meet with her before she talks to the girl and parents.

 

Rebel Yell- modesty beating-that's what this upcoming meeting to address it is screaming out to me- thank you for the term!

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I don't think "shaming" a kid into appropriate dress is appropriate.

However, I think having a discussion about appropriate dress is ABSOLUTELY appropriate discussion for scout troops. It's not just about WHAT the kid wore....it's about whether or not the clothes fit the event. There are particular clothes that fit in a wedding. Particular clothes that fit in a funeral. Particular clothes that fit in a job interview. Particular clothes that fit at work. Particular clothes for winter vs summer. ETC etc etc. I think addressing that is totally appropriate for a scout leader.

 

When I was in GS, on my trip to Europe, I had a specific dress code for specific parts of our trip. Sometimes that was uniform, but sometimes, uniform wasn't appropriate. Appropriate clothing for the situations we were in was discussed. I have no issues with a scout leading addressing appropriate clothing for specific events.

Very good points. Ideally I will be able to gently steer the coordinator's perspective towards that direction.

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At the very least I'm getting that I'm not completely off my block to have huge reservations with the manner this is set to be addressed. I think I'm going to ask to meet with her before she talks to the girl and parents.

Rebel Yell- modesty beating-that's what this upcoming meeting to address it is screaming out to me- thank you for the term!

You're welcome. Unfortunately, we have way too much experience in that area. It has been incredibly damaging. I can at least hope that, since this was an event for girls, it won't end up with a rant on how being female shaped will cause boys to stumble since boys weren't present? :rolleyes:

 

Please, be firm with the coordinator. If she assumes the girls intent was to "look hot" and it wasn't I promise her words will haunt this girl for years. Mine can still quote the people who said rotten things to or about them, and even just in general at classes or events.

 

Also, out of curiosity: what were the other girls not in uniform wearing? Almost every time I saw a girl get a modesty beat down there was another girl wearing a nearly identical outfit, often getting praised for her stylishness, but the second girl wasn't busty, skinny, or wearing the three-strikes-you're-out combo of makeup, something form-fitting/shaped, and b00ks

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My 12 year old daughter has always preferred dresses. She doesn't even own a pair of jeans because I have learned over the past 12 years that she will not wear one. If she were going to an informal club project meeting, as she did this past Monday, she would choose to wear a dress with leggings under it, as she did. This time, she chose a long velvety dress, which was inappropriate for the spraypainting we were doing outdoors. I told her so. She chose it anyway. She probably wore her new dress boots with her chosen outfit when we went outside, and they do have a little heel. They are not stiletto heels - it's a chunky 1/2 inch heel. She was overdressed for the occasion, and she did not learn to tone it down because she was comfortable with her choice.

 

She has some dresses which are more form fitting. She is tall for her age, has hit the better part of puberty, and has the body of a young adolescent who dances five days per week. She has no thoughts of presenting herself in a sexually attractive way, and if any adult would attribute such a motive it would be their own dirty mind, not hers. Wanting to dress in nice looking clothes instead of normal slouchy kid stuff is not a character flaw. I refuse to make it one. Wearing a nice dress to spraypaint is not a hill to battle on. If she had ruined the dress by getting paint on it that would have been a natural consequence. Perhaps her desire to not ruin the dress caused her to take care, which is not bad either.

 

I guess this is why we do 4H instead of AHG.

 

For the record, she always wears leggings or legging shorts under her dresses for modesty's sake.

Edited by Amy in NH
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I want to add that we do have a dress code in 4-H with regard to shirt strap width, inseam or skirt/dress length, and the five Bs: all butts, b00ks, bras, boxers, and bellies must be covered by clothing. But wearing clothing that actually fits your body instead of being cut like a sack is not prohibited.

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Our AHG troop has no rules about clothes other than uniforms. Nor do the 4 or 5 nearby troops. Please do not attribute a certain attitude about "modesty" to the organization, just becasue a particular Troop Coordinator is displaying it.

 

I would address the issue of uniforms and leave parenting to the parents.

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Rather than call out a particular girl, I would send all families a general reminder about the nature of each future planned activity and ask that they encourage their girls to dress appropriately for full participation in the activity.  I would also announce the upcoming activity at a meeting and have the girls tell you how they think they should dress for the activity. Be sure to tell them about safety issues or venue requirements.

 

For example,

field day – girls will be running and jumping.  Recommended attire is sneakers, class B shirt, and shorts or athletic pants.

hike – we will be hiking a three mile dirt trail.  The hike includes climbing over or under obstacles and a hill scramble.  All participants should wear sneakers or hiking shoes. We will be outdoors with no shelter for 5 hours. Dress appropriately for the weather.  Layers are recommended. Pack a sack lunch, snacks, water bottle, rain jacket and other essential supplies in a daypack or cinch sack.  Each scout will be carrying her own pack, encourage your scout to leave non-essentials at home.

swimming - we will be swimming at the YMCA. The  Y requires that all swimmers wear swimsuits.  Water shorts and rash guards are permitted.  Street clothing may not be worn in the pool.  Coast Guard approved vests may be worn.  Water wings, snorkels, fins, and toys are prohibited.  See Y website for details.

 

I deal with boys not girls, and even with such reminders, someone, usually a parent or sibling, shows up for a hike in flip-flops.   Or, a child forgets to bring swim trunks to a swimming party.

 

Really, as long as the clothing isn't preventing the girl from full participation, her attire is up to her and her parents.  If the clothing prevents full participation, the natural consequence is that she doesn't get to do the activity and if that activity is a badge requirement, she has to complete the requirement on her own.

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I'm not really seeing the problem with the clothes.  She had leggings on under a dress.  That's modest.  She had boots on.  That's just cute.  If the dress was skintight, she probably has grown recently.  My dd went from a size 2 to a 4 to a 6 to an 8 this year.  In less than a year.  The leader needs to relax.  Sometimes kids grow out of clothes and wear them anyway, because yeah, they fit last week.  That's kind of what happens in puberty.  Don't make it a thing when it's not.

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Our AHG troop has no rules about clothes other than uniforms. Nor do the 4 or 5 nearby troops. Please do not attribute a certain attitude about "modesty" to the organization, just becasue a particular Troop Coordinator is displaying it.

 

I would address the issue of uniforms and leave parenting to the parents.

Scout- I agree with addressing the issue of uniforms and leaving the parenting to the adults. Full stop. 100%.

 

Our AHG troop does have guidelines for clothes other than uniforms in our policy handbook, and it was taken directly from national. Honestly, it basically mimics the local school's dress code, and I think it is pretty generic. However, I could also see where leadership would read further into it. Also, there's a badge, Daughter of the King, that addresses modesty heavily at the PiPa level. The resources they suggested for use at that level were pretty conservative.

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I'm not really seeing the problem with the clothes. She had leggings on under a dress. That's modest. She had boots on. That's just cute. If the dress was skintight, she probably has grown recently. My dd went from a size 2 to a 4 to a 6 to an 8 this year. In less than a year. The leader needs to relax. Sometimes kids grow out of clothes and wear them anyway, because yeah, they fit last week. That's kind of what happens in puberty. Don't make it a thing when it's not.

Excellent point! We've encountered the "it fit just right *yesterday*!" dilemma more than once.

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hmm, I'm a TC and our troop policies don't address this.  I think this is why troop's end up with policy books forever long.  

In this case I would bring in another adult, mom, girl and explain that we need to live out the AHG creed/oath and that includes dressing for how God would approve, and in this situation dressing for the event.  Mud and dresses don't usually work well together.  Explain there may be a place for her dress but it won't be at AHG in the future.  

 

Do you have any idea if mom knew/approved of her clothes?  you might end up with a mean mom going off on you.  In that case, just explain in the future to wear class B outfits.  Require it in the troop policy and situation resolved. 

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My 12 year old daughter has always preferred dresses. She doesn't even own a pair of jeans because I have learned over the past 12 years that she will not wear one. If she were going to an informal club project meeting, as she did this past Monday, she would choose to wear a dress with leggings under it, as she did. This time, she chose a long velvety dress, which was inappropriate for the spraypainting we were doing outdoors. I told her so. She chose it anyway. She probably wore her new dress boots with her chosen outfit when we went outside, and they do have a little heel. They are not stiletto heels - it's a chunky 1/2 inch heel. She was overdressed for the occasion, and she did not learn to tone it down because she was comfortable with her choice.

 

She has some dresses which are more form fitting. She is tall for her age, has hit the better part of puberty, and has the body of a young adolescent who dances five days per week. She has no thoughts of presenting herself in a sexually attractive way, and if any adult would attribute such a motive it would be their own dirty mind, not hers. Wanting to dress in nice looking clothes instead of normal slouchy kid stuff is not a character flaw. I refuse to make it one. Wearing a nice dress to spraypaint is not a hill to battle on. If she had ruined the dress by getting paint on it that would have been a natural consequence. Perhaps her desire to not ruin the dress caused her to take care, which is not bad either.

 

I guess this is why we do 4H instead of AHG.

 

For the record, she always wears leggings or legging shorts under her dresses for modesty's sake.

 

You've perfectly described my 18yo dd!  Doesn't own jeans, preferred to wear skirts or dresses EVERYWHERE, always with shorts or leggings underneath, until very recently (in late her late teens she discovered silky, slouchy pants with elasticized ankles, and will wear them occasionally).  The dancer build and carriage.  The disregard for trying to look "hot" -- just a very firm sense of style. 

 

We went to Paris a couple of years ago, and she felt like she finally fit in somewhere.  For her, we Americans are tragically over-casual. 

 

Edited to add:  She would have asked to quit the troop if required to NOT wear dresses due to a short-and-pants-only policy that was put in place after joining.  I would've backed her on that.

Edited by GailV
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I think I'd have to see the girl in the outfit before I could decide on my opinion.  Many 12yos are not very developed and don't look "immodest" in almost anything.  Then again there are some who appear older and certain styles are suggestive even if the wearer does not intend or realize that.

 

My 11yo 6th grader would wear a slim-fitting dress with leggings and heels.  She just likes the style and I think it looks good on her.  Because she is short, some might think she was trying too hard to look older, but it's really just a style she likes - she's been wearing "heels" for outings since age 8 and before that, she would wear princess play heels.  :P  I don't think heels on a tween are sexual.

 

As for immodest, it sounds like the majority of the skin was covered, so the question would be whether the dress was too tight for her figure.  Again, that might be the case without the girl realizing it or intending it.  Or maybe it was the only dress she had and she's on a growth spurt.

 

I think the most I would do is drop a gentle note to the parent directing her to the modest dress language in the handbook.  I am not sure I'd even do that, but I guess it is appropriate if the girl really was wearing something that didn't meet the guidelines at a troop activity.

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Another possibility is that she was coming from another activity where that outfit was appropriate.  Still it may be appropriate to remind the parent of the rule.

 

Or maybe it would be better to just let it go and only comment if it happens again with the same girl.

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hmm, I'm a TC and our troop policies don't address this. I think this is why troop's end up with policy books forever long.

 

In this case I would bring in another adult, mom, girl and explain that we need to live out the AHG creed/oath and that includes dressing for how God would approve, and in this situation dressing for the event. Mud and dresses don't usually work well together. Explain there may be a place for her dress but it won't be at AHG in the future.

 

Do you have any idea if mom knew/approved of her clothes? you might end up with a mean mom going off on you. In that case, just explain in the future to wear class B outfits. Require it in the troop policy and situation resolved.

I honestly don't think it needs to go as far as the morality of garment wearing. AHG has enough restrictions within the health & safety regulations to pretty much cover the situation. Low heeled closed toe shoes for foot protection. Class B shirts for group identification.

 

Troops don't all consider this a hill to die on, but those that do could make this easier by GIVING every member a FREE Class B uniform t-shirt as part of their registration. Also by making it crystal clear - effectively communicated! not just announcing it to only kids at a meeting! - that anyone showing up not properly attired in the freely provided garment will not be allowed to participate. And then stick to that policy. (And I am not necessarily talking about regular meetings at a secure location, but field trips/outside events.) Maybe keep a few extra large-sized shirts on hand in case some forget.

 

It all depends on how strongly the troop feels about it. Personally I think if it's not a health & safety issue, let it go. But I think it's a mistake to tell someone their daughter isn't dressed "modestly" enough. That's a slippery sliding standard.

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Our AHG troop had a special event last weekend where some girls wore their class b shirts, and some did not. Really not a big deal for this particular event. Anyway, one of the girls (age 12) showed up in a skin tight dress, leggings and high heeled boots. I didn't think much of it, only thought it was odd being that these girls knew they were going to be outside in the mud.

 

I was speaking with the coordinator this afternoon and she mentioned that she needed to address the manner in which this particular girl dressed for this event.

 

I'm having huge reservations about this. Yes, AHG is incredibly conservative and the idea is to model "modesty". That said...... I just don't feel it is the troop's place to dictate to girls how they dress. It just feels like a boundary stomper. The certainty with which my coordinator declared this upcoming "intervention" has left me wondering if I'm missing something. Am I just too "liberal" in this thinking? I mean, if I am, then I am. I would just like to see where I fall on the spectrum with this.

 

So....What are your thoughts? Just curious- not looking to start or even entertain a scout bashing over this.

 

Yes, it is the troop's "place" to "dictate" to girls how they dress, if for no other reason than the fact that you all know that AHG is "incredibly conservative" and that it is promoting the concept of "modeling modesty."

 

I would have been shocked that a parent thought it was ok for a 12yo child to wear a skin-tight dress, leggings, and high-heeled boots. I would probably not have said anything to anyone about it (except to my own child, when I warned her that she would never get to wear similar clothing until she was 18). But I would not be shocked if the AHG troop established a dress code, although I would not expect the coordinator to say anything directly to the child or her parents.

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After reading the comments, I agree that the best way to address this is to inform everyone of appropriate dress for each upcoming event - uniform, jeans and T shirts, whatever.  If you want to also have standard boilerplate at the bottom re the agreed modest dressing expectations (if any), then fine.

 

I would not address it with one specific girl unless she kept violating the stated expectations.

 

 

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In my mind, her figure, etc. doesn't matter to the issue at hand, but to answer some questions...

 

She is NOT a developed 12 year old at all. She was covered head to toe in some kind of fabric. The neckline was not low, nor was the dress short. It was just super, super tight. I'm guessing that was the issue our coordinator took with it.

 

Her mom, one of the PiPa leaders, was there herself for the activity, so obviously she had no qualms about it.

 

Again, Im not speaking ill of AHG. My dd loves it and I think it is a good fit for her. I'm not crazy wild about some of the restrictive protocols it has in place, and it does seem to be a bit conservative for MY family (at least how my coordinator implements it) but neither of those are big deals or grounds to leave. My particular issue was how this particular individual was planning her "dress code" intervention.

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Based on your recent post, it sounds to me like she outgrew the dress and nothing more.  I would say nothing about the dress as it would only embarrass everyone involved.  (Just like I wouldn't complain about a girl's jeans being a little too short etc.)

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Our AHG troop does have guidelines for clothes other than uniforms in our policy handbook, and it was taken directly from national. Honestly, it basically mimics the local school's dress code, and I think it is pretty generic. However, I could also see where leadership would read further into it. Also, there's a badge, Daughter of the King, that addresses modesty heavily at the PiPa level. The resources they suggested for use at that level were pretty conservative.

 

 

hmm, I'm a TC and our troop policies don't address this.  I think this is why troop's end up with policy books forever long.  

 

 

Yes, AHG national makes an insane number of policies about many details best left to common sense and individual troop discretion. I have said it here before, they have way too many women who have never been TCs or even unit leaders on their staff. (And too many lawyers.) If every troop  enforced all the national polices, no one would ever do badgework or camp, because they would spend all of the time checking off boxes. Health and safety things, yes! Much of the other stuff is best ignored, imo. New to AHG parents read the policy handbook, no one else does. They just sign the last page and turn it in with their registration forms, ime.

 

We did the Daughter of the King badge two years ago and lightened it up quite a bit. Made it more fun and not focused primarily on "modesty". 

 

Margaret is right about uniforms basically making dress a non issue, 99% of the time. Class A's for all regular meetings, ceremonies etc. Class B's for service, camping, everything else. Our troop has a troop specific class B too (not red or blue), to help us find each other at Camporee. Girls designed the shirt and we get them printed inexpensively. 

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I'm with most of you in that if a situation occurred I would just require class B outfits next time.  I always email before an outdoor event listing appropriate clothing for the weather and exercise we will be doing.  If the outfit was about sizing and not modesty then a group announcement of what to wear to the event would be enough.  I personally wouldn't sit down with a mom about it unless it was a continuous issue of being dressed out of alignment with AHG's foundations.

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Our AHG troop labels all activities either Class A or Class B. That said, we sometimes have kids coming direct from soccer/vollleyball/choral/swim practice. They'd rather be at meeting than be late changing. How can we be upset about that? The first time it happens we talk with mom and suggest a backpack with appropriate uniform so they can change on site. We also let the girl know that if she's not in Class A for a Class A meeting she's not eligible to be in the flag ceremony. If we're doing things out of doors, we will try to remember to remind them about warm clothes.

 

Other than that, we haven't had an issue. I have occasionally suggested parents check our swap box for the next size up polo or uniform pants. Some of those tween girls grow and change really, really fast.

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Our AHG troop had a special event last weekend where some girls wore their class b shirts, and some did not. Really not a big deal for this particular event. Anyway, one of the girls (age 12) showed up in a skin tight dress, leggings and high heeled boots. I didn't think much of it, only thought it was odd being that these girls knew they were going to be outside in the mud.

 

I was speaking with the coordinator this afternoon and she mentioned that she needed to address the manner in which this particular girl dressed for this event.

 

I'm having huge reservations about this. Yes, AHG is incredibly conservative and the idea is to model "modesty". That said...... I just don't feel it is the troop's place to dictate to girls how they dress. It just feels like a boundary stomper. The certainty with which my coordinator declared this upcoming "intervention" has left me wondering if I'm missing something. Am I just too "liberal" in this thinking? I mean, if I am, then I am. I would just like to see where I fall on the spectrum with this.

 

So....What are your thoughts? Just curious- not looking to start or even entertain a scout bashing over this.

 

Update- everyone was so helpful with their advice/suggestions that I figured I would give a brief update. The coordinator and I spoke and we were able to come to an agreement to handle this by simply requiring class b shirts to ALL outside events, regardless of where said events are located. We have an upcoming service project for MADD which will involve lots of mud and yard work so as a troop last night we discussed specific clothing items to wear (pants, rain gear, work gloves, closed toe shoes, etc). All the girls, especially the PiPas, were right there animatedly contributing to the discussion and helping the younger TH understand, etc. so it was a success. 😄 Thank you all-

 

GREAT way to handle it! Troop teamwork!

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