Dd is convinced she's a fraud and really should be in public middle school because she actually needs to memorize vocabulary for her Latin Alive quizzes. She doesn't want to work on anything because even with homeschool, everything comes easily.
Enroll her in Lukeoin, Latin will probably stop being easy, lol.
Eh, middle school, everything sucks and you don't fit in, I don't think it matters where you are if you are that angsty kind of tween. It's a tough age. And tons of people, even adults, don't feel "normal." That can't be the goal, that's what I tell my kids.
Yes, belonging to something other than the homeschool community might be a big plus for her, but that could be many things.
I'll agree with Heigh Ho that an hour away is normal for lots of activities. We are not the least bit rural, but city traffic and coming in from the 'burbs makes up for that. We have to allow an hour each way to get dd to DE at the university, four days a week this semester. We drive 30-40 minutes for a weekly social activity. That's always been a minimum for most activities, because my kids aren't sporty and it doesn't help that we have a playground down the street, lol. Around here, it's very normal for people to drive nearly an hour to get to high school and back again (lots of private schools), and driving 45 minutes or an hour to activities is just not seen as a big deal, particularly for high schoolers. If driving an hour to activities helps solve the problem, that's an easy fix, imo.
I say that as a person who does not like to drive. You do get used to it.
Also agree that there's no reason for homeschooling to all come easily to her. If it does, change what she's doing. And truthfully, when my kids got too much with the drama (I'm too smart, I don't fit in! No, wait, I have to study, I'm stupid!), I would shut it down at some point. If you think you're too smart, I promise you that there are many people in the world smarter than you. If you think you're stupid because you have to study, I don't agree, but oh well, you have to do the work either way. If you think that you don't fit in, I empathize, but lots of people feel that way, and you just have to keep chugging along and finding the good. I find that it's very important to keep them busy AND get them out of the house frequently; get them out of their heads.
Back to practicalities, I do think lots of kids can get a social vibe from some online classes, particularly ones like Lukeion, WTM, AoPS, They aren't cookie cutter classes, and would likely challenge her even if they didn't fill a social need. Neither of mine cared for online classes, but both of them did spend a lot of time in online communities. If you have a special interest, that can be a great way to engage.
I would not do a high school with an apathetic vibe and no honors classes. I don't get that at all - we have both uni and CC dual enrollment here, plus some dual enrollment that's actually on high school grounds, but that doesn't keep the public schools from also having honors and advanced classes. And it's definitely not an affluent district. Weird.
Plus, I do think high school can be tough on younger kids, particularly those that have a younger look or demeanor. And if she's had bullying issues with some kids already, no way. Or if she does succeed socially, are you prepared for her to also get a completely different kind of education at a younger age than usual? Because she will see and hear a lot. High school is worse for this than college, imo.
Early college: both of my kids did dual enrollment. It was excellent for getting them out of the house, having them deal with professors on their own, and so on. If it's not where she wants to "go to college" then you can just consider those classes high school.
I will say that my youngest was pretty freaked out at first about guys (strangers) walking up to ask her out. We had discussed talking to teachers but not to random guys trying to hit you up, so she was unprepared, lol. We considered printing a t-shirt, "I'm 16 and waiting for my mom!" Oldest looked 12 at 16, she didn't have that problem
So that can be something to be aware of for dual enrollment, like some other social dangers. It's one reason I'm not wild about early college for most kids, if you mean going away to college. You can't shelter them from everything, but I wanted mine to be a bit older before they were actually living on campus. Particularly if one of the reasons for wanting to go away to college was to fit in, kwim?
I really want to emphasize that it's possible part of it is just her age, and possible that part of it is her personality. My youngest will get along happily with almost any group, my oldest much less so. I would be looking at options like online classes, driving to activities, and waiting for her to get older.