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Very excited and yet very sad (and apprehensive too)


DawnM
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I am a ball of emotions.

 

 

Not going into too much detail as most of you know my son with LDs and Asperger's has struggled.  

 

He just got in to the school of his choice, on a very decent scholarship.   :driving:

 

I am so excited for him, and proud.  But he will have to go away to do it, and we are apprehensive about him living away from home.  On a personal level I am sad.  I want him to live at home.  FOREVER.  Yeah, not really......but really.   :crying:

 

The school is 3.5 hours away.  

 

We have told him he has one more scholarship he needs to apply for as we still can't bring it down to state school cost with what he got so far.  And he is working on it and plans to send in the application by the end of October.

 

My baby is growing up and I am sad.  

 

I need a hug......and a check for the full amount.....to make it all ok.

 

 

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Congratulations to him! Yes, it is so scary, especially with special needs. Does the campus have a disability office? We found them to be very helpful with my oldest daughter's issues, and you may find talking to them reassuring.

 

I am sure they do, but he is AMENDMENT that he doesn't want anyone to know (as if they can't figure it  out anyway.)

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:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

Does he qualify for any Vocational Rehabilitation money on account of his disabilities? I would definitely encourage you to look into that as an option to help with college tuition.

 

I doubt it, and the process is LONG in our state, and he would have to go in front of them and claim that he is mentally handicapped, which I can guarantee you he won't do.  

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Was so glad when my ASD kiddo only went 45 min away.  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

There is nothing for him that close-by.  We ARE going to check out another program 1.5 hours away, but honestly, I don't think it will meet his needs.

 

The 2nd school has already said they don't accept transfer credit, and he wouldn't be able to start until Fall as they don't take any mid-year applicants.  So, his 46 credits (now) and any he takes next Spring, would be worthless.  And then he would be starting as a Freshman again at age 20, taking 6 years to finish up.  They even told him he has to take classes he isn't interested in at all for a full year, then repeat most of his CC classes his 2nd year, and then finally start his major his 3rd year.  NO THANK YOU!  That won't work.

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:grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

I have one with ASD who went away to college three hours away.  He graduated and is not working 2 1/2 hours away.  We want to move closer to him, but need to wait until dd graduates from high school first.  It's tough at times and we worry, but he's doing pretty well.  ETA:  It's been good for his self-esteem to be on his own as well.  

Edited by Kassia
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Ok, more details as of last night and this am.

 

They are only allowing him to transfer 4 classes.  They may allow a 5th after this semester's final grades come out and he may have to petition for it.  However, we are going to tell him it is ok if he doesn't want to.

 

This school is on the quarter system.  If he goes this coming January, he has the potential to get at least 2 quarters in this year, and even do a summer session for another quarter if he so chooses.  I don't know how scholarship money works in the summer???  Or maybe he could take a general ed class or two at the local CC over the summer for more transfer credit.

 

Anyway, it looks like if he goes this year for 2/3 of the year, he may still be looking at 3 more years.  We had hoped for only 2, but it is what it is.

 

The breakdown of the scholarship money is 70% towards tuition and 30% towards housing, so moving off campus would mean losing that 30%, which would probably bring the cost to about the same anyway, so he may as well stay on campus.

 

This is all so exciting.

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I doubt it, and the process is LONG in our state, and he would have to go in front of them and claim that he is mentally handicapped, which I can guarantee you he won't do.  

 

No, that's incorrect. People can qualify for VocRehab based on all sorts of disabilities, not just ID. I know people who are gifted who received it for hearing loss. It's any disability that creates an impediment to landing and keeping a job.

 

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No, that's incorrect. People can qualify for VocRehab based on all sorts of disabilities, not just ID. I know people who are gifted who received it for hearing loss. It's any disability that creates an impediment to landing and keeping a job.

 

 

So, even though he is 19, he would not need to go meet them and declare that he has a disability of any kind????   That is what I mean.

 

The state's website says that in order to get it the student must show significant impairment that would hinder the student from holding down a job or doing his work.  Considering he has a 3.9 in community college and is doing fairly well in MOST instances, I don't think he will qualify.

Edited by DawnM
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So, even though he is 19, he would not need to go meet them and declare that he has a disability of any kind????   That is what I mean.

 

The state's website says that in order to get it the student must show significant impairment that would hinder the student from holding down a job or doing his work.  Considering he has a 3.9 in community college and is doing fairly well in MOST instances, I don't think he will qualify.

 

Does he have a job, though? You have to think of things that will/would affect a job specifically. I know there are at least a couple of parents on this board with ASD kids who excelled in school, but had great difficulties working. You might want to check into it. 

 

Also, in my state, there are also tons of services offered in vocational rehab, much more extensive than the regular job prep and placement stuff. They specifically state that they work with people who are not stereotypically disabled, and they mention stuff like ADD. They also say that you do not necessarily need a dx of any kind; if you don't have one, they will talk to you and decide if you would benefit, the main thing is that you have trouble getting or staying employed.  They do an assessment specifically related to getting and keeping a job, and then offer specific services based on that assessment. 

 

It might not be something he needs now if he doesn't qualify for the grant, but something to keep in mind for sure. If he hasn't worked yet (neither of my kids worked in high school, not slamming that choice), it might be good to get the ball rolling during this school year or next so he can work in the summer. 

 

Is the school that won't take much credit the "second" school, or the one he wants to attend 3 1/2 hours away? 

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Does he have a job, though? You have to think of things that will/would affect a job specifically. I know there are at least a couple of parents on this board with ASD kids who excelled in school, but had great difficulties working. You might want to check into it. 

 

Also, in my state, there are also tons of services offered in vocational rehab, much more extensive than the regular job prep and placement stuff. They specifically state that they work with people who are not stereotypically disabled, and they mention stuff like ADD. They also say that you do not necessarily need a dx of any kind; if you don't have one, they will talk to you and decide if you would benefit, the main thing is that you have trouble getting or staying employed.  They do an assessment specifically related to getting and keeping a job, and then offer specific services based on that assessment. 

 

It might not be something he needs now if he doesn't qualify for the grant, but something to keep in mind for sure. If he hasn't worked yet (neither of my kids worked in high school, not slamming that choice), it might be good to get the ball rolling during this school year or next so he can work in the summer. 

 

Is the school that won't take much credit the "second" school, or the one he wants to attend 3 1/2 hours away? 

 

He doesn't have a firm full time job, but he has an internship where he works 20 hours per week.  It is going pretty well.

 

The school that won't take his community college credit is his 4 year school he hopes to go away to.

 

I honestly don't think he needs it at this point.  I do wish he would at least inform his professors of his Asperger's diagnosis, but he won't, and he has mostly As, so I am not pushing it.

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DS18 (ASD-1 and GAD) is at a four year university about 90 minutes away from us and is doing great. Doing fantastic academically (not unexpected--he's 2e so that's never been a concern), is making friends, joining clubs, going to football games. So far it's been a very good, confidence boosting experience for him. DH and I have been up for a few football games and noticed the difference in him, but I was really happy that my brother and SIL noticed, too. They were up his way a couple of weekends ago and met him for lunch and they couldn't believe how happy and confident he seemed. :)

 

FWIW, he did notify ODS of his diagnoses, mostly because he needed/wanted a private dorm room and wanted to have that door open just in case he needed any other accommodations. But I don't think any of his professors know.

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  about letting  him go. It's hard and it's more than a bit scary.

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He doesn't have a firm full time job, but he has an internship where he works 20 hours per week.  It is going pretty well.

 

The school that won't take his community college credit is his 4 year school he hopes to go away to.

 

I honestly don't think he needs it at this point.  I do wish he would at least inform his professors of his Asperger's diagnosis, but he won't, and he has mostly As, so I am not pushing it.

 

I'd say a 20 hrs/wk internship is some excellent work experience! More than my kids have, lol. 

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Can the school assign him a mentor, maybe a prof who lives locally, someone he could call in difficulties or get local advice from? When we moved away from our freshman girl we were so thankful she already had our church's network of friends to fall back on. When her car broke down someone helped her rent a car....because she wasn't old enough to do it herself...others have recommended mechanics, suggested job opportunities, given her a place to just hang out, helped her thru the stress of finals. All stuff we weren't there to do.

 

A mentor would be a blessing, even if he were living at home, and even more so when he's living that far away.

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I don't know about a mentor.  I can look into it.  They did have something at the beginning of the year as an added 3 day "intro to college for those with disabilities" type thing.  It was pretty expensive, but it doesn't matter because we missed it.

 

My only concern right now is getting into the apartments where he can have his own room.  I think a situation where he has his own room but isn't completely alone (like a single dorm room where most are sharing and he isn't) would be best.

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So, even though he is 19, he would not need to go meet them and declare that he has a disability of any kind????   That is what I mean.

 

The state's website says that in order to get it the student must show significant impairment that would hinder the student from holding down a job or doing his work.  Considering he has a 3.9 in community college and is doing fairly well in MOST instances, I don't think he will qualify.

 

Yes, he would have to answer questions about his disability. But that is NOT the same thing as having to say he is "mentally handicapped" (unless he did have ID or some other cognitive impairment). If the Asperger's creates significant impediments to landing and keeping down a job (say by causing difficulties with interpersonal relations, flexibility, etc.), then he would have a case for receiving VocRehab regardless of his academic achievements.

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We got his transcript evaluation and it looks like they are taking 25 quarter credits min. and will evaluate again after he finishes this semester as there are 10 more credits they will accept provided he gets a C or better, so he will then be classified as a Sophomore.  

 

That is great news for us, if he goes this next two quarters this year, and then makes up some classes over a summer or something, he could finish in just the remainder of this year and then 2 more years!  YAY!

 

PS:  Sorry, I changed the amount they will transfer because I realize it is semester transferring to quarter system and I got confused. He may have a class or two he needs to make up in the summer so that he can graduate in 2 years and 2 quarters.

 

 

Edited by DawnM
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