This is why I hate co-chairing things.

[Moxie]

A big part of my life is volunteer work. I want to be 100% in charge or I want to just be told what to do. I really dislike co-chairing.

I’m currently the co-chair of a group. We’re supposed to have a party next weekend. We’ve got 2 families who have RSVPed that they are coming. There are 40 families in our group. To me, this is a no-brainer. Two families coming, plus the two families of the co-chairs means we should cancel the party.

The other woman doesn’t want to cancel. She’s already bought the snack to share. Four families is plenty!

No. But if she won’t go along and cancel, I have to play nice and do all the crap for this non-party. So frustrating!!

Edited October 16, 2017 by Moxie

[FaithManor]

I feel your pain. And for this very kind of reason I no longer co chair anything either.

[Seasider]

It's the extension of the collegiate dreaded group project.

 

If you and your family suddenly can't make it, would she reconsider?

[medawyn]

I don't co-chair or co-host.  I'm too much of a control freak and am easily annoyed by stupidity.  

[Guest]

I’ll have to put my foot down and cancel. How annoyed would you be if you came to a party that should be big, and only 3 other families were there? I don’t want to make the other woman mad but this won’t work.

[Seasider]

I’ll have to put my foot down and cancel. How annoyed would you be if you came to a party that should be big, and only 3 other families were there? I don’t want to make the other woman mad but this won’t work.

I'd be quite disappointed if I made the effort to go and only three of 39 other families were there. It would not give me warm fuzzy feelings about their level of commitment to this particular group. That would probably make me question whether or not it deserved my own commitment.

 

Is this the sort of group that is usually faithful with RSVPs? How many people are likely to show up without RSVPs? Is there a good method of communication to give them all a "last chance to RSVP" notice? (Of course if you are like me, I think they've had their chance, but some people, you know… )

[Rebel Yell]

Completely agreeing that it makes complete sense to cancel the party. I also would rather be completey in charge or told what to do.

 

Wondering:

Why does her vote to have the party count more than your vote to cancel?

How many of the remaining 36 families RSVPed that they are NOT attending.... meaning, is it likely several will just show up assuming the people planning just magically knew they'd be there?

Do you enjoy the company of the other three families? It might be a waste of time, but it could still be a good time.

 

:D

[Ellie]

Yeah, I'm with you: I'd cancel.

 

Did you give everyone a deadline to sign up? Did you charge per family? Those two things made all the difference in the world with sign-ups for our group activities.

 

I have known of groups which didn't provide  location information until people signed up (which meant they paid their money). I guess there had been problems with people showing up after the deadline to sign up, thinking they could just pay at the door or something.

[KungFuPanda]

I'd tell her "I'm not dragging my family to a "party" with only 4 families. It's a bust and I won't pretend it isn't. "I already bought the snack" is a stupid reason to push through. She can return it or eat it at home.

 

Do NOT encourage these people.

[klmama]

I share your frustration about running things by committee.  It can be maddening.  I assume I'm just as frustrating to them as they are to me, though.   ;)

 

I'd probably send another email reminding people about the party and asking for them to respond one way or the other.  If you get another family, that's five families, so probably about 15-20 people?  That sounds like a pleasant size group to me. 

  

[El...]

Perhaps you could send a message to the group that the event was about to be cancelled due to insufficient attendance, and that would bump some late responders out of the woodwork?  

 

Agree on the co-chair business... it can be exhausting.

[Rebel Yell]

Yeah, I'm with you: I'd cancel.

 

Did you give everyone a deadline to sign up? Did you charge per family? Those two things made all the difference in the world with sign-ups for our group activities.

 

I have known of groups which didn't provide  location information until people signed up (which meant they paid their money). I guess there had been problems with people showing up after the deadline to sign up, thinking they could just pay at the door or something.

There is zero chance I'd sign up for something without knowing the location. Most days of the week I have three kids who have to be in seven different places. I can almost always make it work due to timing and locations, but i need to know that way ahead of time to make it work.

 

I understand the reasoning, though. And I could *maybe* see it working if the meeting was at a group members home AND all of the members were from a close geographical community... maybe ;)

[Guest]

Ugh. This gets stupider and stupider.

 

It is a welcome activity for new families in a group. The whole group is maybe 200 families. We have 20 new families and 20 existing families who are welcoming families.

 

The only people that can come, so far, are existing families! The other woman texts me last night “don’t worry about the numbers, I’ll call around and get more peopleâ€. NO!!! If the new families can’t come, we aren’t having this party!! I told her as much last night so I know she is annoyed with me.

 

ETA—this is the second welcome activity we’ve planned that no one has come to. Clearly, this group is not interested in a party!

Edited October 16, 2017 by Moxie

[Soror]

I totally agree. I tried doing things by group decision before, nothing happened, I'm moving more to a dictatorship- I kid, I kid :) You have to have someone in charge, unless it is 2 people that work extremely well together, which is very rare. I don't mind delegating out but if you flake out on me I will not trust you again because then I still have to do the work but have less time to do it (I just had that happen to me twice- urgh). Anyway, you can't do it all yourself, that leads to burn-out but finding good people to work with isn't easy.

[wintermom]

Ugh. This gets stupider and stupider.

 

It is a welcome activity for new families in a group. The whole group is maybe 200 families. We have 20 new families and 20 existing families who are welcoming families.

 

The only people that can come, so far, are existing families! The other woman texts me last night “don’t worry about the numbers, I’ll call around and get more peopleâ€. NO!!! If the new families can’t come, we aren’t having this party!! I told her as much last night so I know she is annoyed with me.

 

ETA—this is the second welcome activity we’ve planned that no one has come to. Clearly, this group is not interested in a party!

 

I'd fully support you cancelling the party. And the snack the other co-chair already purchased is big enough for how many people (that aren't coming to eat it anyway)?  Return the snack, freeze it for later, or let her own family enjoy it.  No more welcoming parties, either.  

 

Out of curiosity, what do the new families actually turn up for? Can't this place/activity be the time and place for a small-scale "welcome?"  Perhaps they just can't/don't want to attend an additional time/place.

[Rebel Yell]

Ugh. This gets stupider and stupider.

It is a welcome activity for new families in a group. The whole group is maybe 200 families. We have 20 new families and 20 existing families who are welcoming families.

The only people that can come, so far, are existing families! The other woman texts me last night “don’t worry about the numbers, I’ll call around and get more peopleâ€. NO!!! If the new families can’t come, we aren’t having this party!! I told her as much last night so I know she is annoyed with me.

ETA—this is the second welcome activity we’ve planned that no one has come to. Clearly, this group is not interested in a party!

Oh my gosh... that truly makes zero sense.

 

Discontinuing the welcome activities makes perfect sense.

[klmama]

Changing my vote. If the new families aren't coming, it defeats the point of the party.

[KungFuPanda]

Terrific. Now I'm invested in how this ill-fated party plays out and how far this lady will push it.

[Catwoman]

Moxie, you're doing the right thing by canceling the party.

 

What good will it do to have existing families show up to welcome new families if none of the new families bother to show up?

 

Your co-chair sounds like she's a couple cookies short of a dozen, or else she can't get over the fact that people aren't falling all over themselves to attend her party. (I say "her party," because she seems to be taking this awfully personally, while you are being sensible and realistic about it.)

[Catwoman]

Terrific. Now I'm invested in how this ill-fated party plays out and how far this lady will push it.

I'm pretty sure you can get yourself invited if you PM Moxie for the woman's email address. ;)

[HS Mom in NC]

There is zero chance I'd sign up for something without knowing the location. Most days of the week I have three kids who have to be in seven different places. I can almost always make it work due to timing and locations, but i need to know that way ahead of time to make it work.

 

I understand the reasoning, though. And I could *maybe* see it working if the meeting was at a group members home AND all of the members were from a close geographical community... maybe ;)

 

Major crossroads can be enough for the original invitation but still keep drop ins or those who didn't sign up out. Our church does that with small groups. Sign up to get the exact address, otherwise the major crossroads are posted.

 

I'm in a tizzy about a poorly coordinated/communicated opportunity right now, so I'm not sympathetic to anyone about much these days.  Part of the problem is trying mommy people who didn't respond in a timely way.  Put in the original announcement that they need X people to sign up and pay for the party/class/event to happen.  Set a deadline. Once the money comes in, their spot is held and a receipt with the location's address is sent.  If they miss paying by the deadline they miss out.  Oh well. It's not the last chopper out of Saigon.  If not enough people payed by the deadline, return the funds.  There should be a way to set all that up electronically.

 

[HS Mom in NC]

I forgot to add, Moxie girl, you stand your ground on this.  Co-chairing is a nightmare and you don't have to follow through with a party that doesn't make one bit of sense.

[Jenn in FL]

I'm pretty sure you can get yourself invited if you PM Moxie for the woman's email address. ;)

 

 

Thank you, Cat.  I was enjoying my morning coffee when I read your far too witty reply!  Oh well, I have more coffee...   :lol:  :lol:  

Edited October 17, 2017 by Jenn in FL

[Ellie]

Major crossroads can be enough for the original invitation but still keep drop ins or those who didn't sign up out. Our church does that with small groups. Sign up to get the exact address, otherwise the major crossroads are posted.

 

I'm in a tizzy about a poorly coordinated/communicated opportunity right now, so I'm not sympathetic to anyone about much these days.  Part of the problem is trying mommy people who didn't respond in a timely way.  Put in the original announcement that they need X people to sign up and pay for the party/class/event to happen.  Set a deadline. Once the money comes in, their spot is held and a receipt with the location's address is sent.  If they miss paying by the deadline they miss out.  Oh well. It's not the last chopper out of Saigon.  If not enough people payed by the deadline, return the funds.  There should be a way to set all that up electronically.

 

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

[PrairieSong]

A welcoming party with no one there to welcome? What is the point of that? Cancel.

 

Sent from my XT1635-01 using Tapatalk

[Guest]

I think if at least one other family attends, it's a party! :D

 

...however I am in the camp that it's really mean to cancel because it invalidates the few people that do want to come. It's like saying, "Because it's just you, I'm going to cancel the party because you are not enough."

 

But then again, we love parties. any reason to have a party.

 

ETA: If it is about money though, and there isn't enough prepaid rsvps to cover an event, then yeah, that should be a cancel".

Edited October 18, 2017 by Tohru

[Rebel Yell]

I think if at least one other family attends, it's a party! :D

 

...however I am in the camp that it's really mean to cancel because it invalidates the few people that do want to come. It's like saying, "Because it's just you, I'm going to cancel the party because you are not enough."

 

But then again, we love parties. any reason to have a party.

 

ETA: If it is about money though, and there isn't enough prepaid rsvps to cover an event, then yeah, that should be a cancel".

Normally I'd agree, but this is a party to welcome new members and no new members will be there to welcome

[Guest]

We have no more people despite me emailing and snail mailing. She still wants to have this party. I’m going to end up having this damn party.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Tell her you're done, it's a fail, you're not working on it anymore, and your family's not coming!

 

You can do this. Moxie is your NAME.

[FaithManor]

Moxie, Tibbie is right! With your board name, if you can't do it NO ONE CAN!

 

 

 

:lurk5:

[Guest]

Nope, it is happening. Whatever. My little kids will have fun and maybe the effing thing will end early. Lesson learned—no more co-chairs.

[Word Nerd]

ETA—this is the second welcome activity we’ve planned that no one has come to. Clearly, this group is not interested in a party!

 

I would remind her of this fact. Then tell her she's welcome to plan the party on her own if she still wants to have it, but you're no longer involved.

[Guest]

I would remind her of this fact. Then tell her she's welcome to plan the party on her own if she still wants to have it, but you're no longer involved.

Believe me, I want to. But i’m going to have kids in school with this woman’s kids (our girls are in the same class) for six more years and I don’t want animosity so I just have to suck it up.

Edited October 18, 2017 by Moxie

[heartlikealion]

I feel you. I joined a party planning committee. I didn't know that it would be like 6-8 moms. I suggested adding sides to the potluck sign up and they said "sweet or salty" is fine. At least we had a main dish so it wasn't 100% chips and sweets on the table. And luckily some people ignored the guidelines because there was a veggie tray and a meat and cheese one.

 

I think I would gently tell her that even 4 saying "yes" could easily turn into less as sickness or other things could interfere. And she could probably use the snack later.