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#1 Halcyon

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 07:13 AM

Hi there-

my son is enrolled in a few classes at Wilson HIll and is doing well. But in one class, the assignments (due to the time change) are due at 1 am on various days. Continually my son 'forgets' the 1 am part and assumes he can get the work done that day, when in reality, it needs to be done before he goes to bed the night before.

 

We have tried paper calendars, google calendar, popup homework calendars. We have tried me checking his work every day, but inevitably on the days I work outside the home and simply verbally ask him "have youdone your work" and don't double check it, he doesn't do it. 

 

He is NOT happy--in fact, he was crying when he woke up this morning to realize he had not submitted two more assignments on time and would be getting points off for them. 

 

My husband has suggested he do the work as soon as it's assigned, but the teacher posts all the weekly assignments on Sunday and then they learn throughout the week the subject matter, so not sure that will work. 

 

I believe this might be some kind of....learning disability? Block? something, i don't know. The fact that this has happened so many times, and that he really tries says something to me.

 

Does anyone have a system that might help him?

 

I am considering getting a very large pad of paper, the kind they use for prresentations, and having him write his weekly assginments on it and put it up on his wall behind his computer. The smaller calendar that we had used (81/2 by 11) just ends up under his sheets, or on the floor. But maybe having something BIG and in his face on the wall would help? 

 

He is so upset, and his father and I are upset, as we have tried everything that we can think of to help him resolve this issue. Ideas appreciated. No judgement please.



#2 Stuart

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 07:18 AM

He needs to learn to be responsible for his own actions. If he is that upset he will be more conscientious next week. It's hard but sometimes we have to let kids fail. It's learning.
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#3 HomeAgain

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 07:22 AM

He's a teen.  Sit down with him and expect him to come up with a plan to execute over the next week.  Do not give him a plan, do not tell him a plan, listen to his and ask questions to clarify.

 

If he fails, ask him what went wrong and then ask how he's going to modify the plan for the coming week.

 

 

Teens are a bit sticky when it comes to how much handholding we should do, but learning to fail (and succeed from it) in a safe environment is a part of how they need to deal. 


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#4 Halcyon

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 07:23 AM

He needs to learn to be responsible for his own actions. If he is that upset he will be more conscientious next week. It's hard but sometimes we have to let kids fail. It's learning.

 

 

No, this has happened every week since the beginning of school. Every week he can't believe it has happened again. He doesn't seem to know how to help himself--he has created calendars online, etc etc and still it happens. He IS responsible in that he is not only upset but tries to think of ways to not let it happen again, and he has emaled the teacher and apologized and said he is trying to figure out the best way to not let it happen again.



#5 Halcyon

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 07:24 AM

He's a teen.  Sit down with him and expect him to come up with a plan to execute over the next week.  Do not give him a plan, do not tell him a plan, listen to his and ask questions to clarify.

 

If he fails, ask him what went wrong and then ask how he's going to modify the plan for the coming week.

 

 

Teens are a bit sticky when it comes to how much handholding we should do, but learning to fail (and succeed from it) in a safe environment is a part of how they need to deal. 

 

 

ok, so far he's tried computer calendars, paper calendars and smart phone calendars. I suggested a big easel type pad that he writes his assignments on and puts on his wall. He thought that might work. He is devastated that he cant figure this out which is why i am trying to help...but not too much.

 

When i ask him why he thinks this keeps happening, he doesn't know. 



#6 lmrich

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 07:34 AM

Can he write that the assignment is due at 6:00 pm the day before it is really due? I actually get how he can confuse when the assignment is due if he is writing the date that is 1 am. He really needs to write that is due the day before. If you are both willing, you can be his accountability partner for this class, which means he has to tell you what he wants your help being accountable for - like he would tell you to put on your calendar to ask him about his assignment at noon on such and such day. 


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#7 Junie

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 07:45 AM

Ds17 has been using a small daily planner this year.  I give him a weekly list of assignments and he fills in the calendar as to how much he does on each day.  I don't know that he would have been able to do this a few years ago.

 

I just bought this weekly calendar for myself and it has been helpful in keeping practices, lessons, and doctor's appointments straight.  Maybe something like this would help your ds.



#8 HomeAgain

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 07:53 AM

ok, so far he's tried computer calendars, paper calendars and smart phone calendars. I suggested a big easel type pad that he writes his assignments on and puts on his wall. He thought that might work. He is devastated that he cant figure this out which is why i am trying to help...but not too much.

 

When i ask him why he thinks this keeps happening, he doesn't know. 

 

I wouldn't suggest anything.  I've noticed that if it comes from my mouth, it's not considered a serious suggestion but me trying to take over - at least from my kid's point of view.  I have to focus on just being there and pointing out the obvious.

 

"That's a problem, kid.  What do you intend to do about it?"

"What time is it due that day?  1am?  So when you wake up at 8am and check it, you've already missed the deadline."

"What do you intend to do now?"

 

 

And, when I'm required to put something in, I'm allowed to decide the terms.
"Kid, we've been over this all semester and you haven't made any progress in fixing the problem.  I'm not willing to keep throwing money into a class you don't want to take.  If you decide you want or need this class, you need to know that if you fail due to lack of responsibility, I will be asking for my investment money back.  You can pay in chores or from your savings."

 

 

 

It's HARD to stand there.  But it pays off.  My oldest is away at college now and he's not afraid to come to me with problems or what he's done. I get updates like a picture of his class/study group schedule so I know when not to contact him or  "Mom, the teacher wasn't able to see my engineering project because the system wasn't recognizing that I turned it in on time.  I went back and forth, emailing him and the assistant all weekend until today when I was able to see him during office hours and show him my screen shots to compare with his.  I got credit, thankfully.  It was 20% of my grade!"

 

Letting him fail in high school helped him to develop his own methods, but setting the boundaries helped him develop his backbone and go from passive to active.


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#9 Heigh Ho

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 08:02 AM

Hurricane Sandy helped my dc learn the value of margin. He has to realize people give themselves margin -- move the assignment due date earlier in case the internet goes down, the power goes out, last minute questions, etc. Then he will always be ready for the submission window.

You can ask him if he wants ideas, if he does one that works is a planner with hourly slots.
He has to commit to planning ahead, and not being a ' last minute Charlie'. The one my dc uses is printable, at the website www.worksheetworks.com/miscellanea/calendars/hour dot html. The week planner works for him, in wide orientation. He can print out entire semester, and plan each week at a time plus chunk out long term assignments. He has to plan when he is going to do the work and hold himself accountable. Writing in due dates is not enough.

Edited by Heigh Ho, 01 October 2017 - 08:09 AM.

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#10 Halcyon

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 08:03 AM

Can he write that the assignment is due at 6:00 pm the day before it is really due? I actually get how he can confuse when the assignment is due if he is writing the date that is 1 am. He really needs to write that is due the day before. If you are both willing, you can be his accountability partner for this class, which means he has to tell you what he wants your help being accountable for - like he would tell you to put on your calendar to ask him about his assignment at noon on such and such day. 

 

 

yes he DOES write that it's due the prior day--taht's why this is so upsetting for him. I like your idea of putting it in MY calendar too so I can just double check with him. At least for a month so he can get into the habit of double checking his due times. 



#11 Halcyon

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 08:07 AM

I wouldn't suggest anything.  I've noticed that if it comes from my mouth, it's not considered a serious suggestion but me trying to take over - at least from my kid's point of view.  I have to focus on just being there and pointing out the obvious.

 

"That's a problem, kid.  What do you intend to do about it?"

"What time is it due that day?  1am?  So when you wake up at 8am and check it, you've already missed the deadline."

"What do you intend to do now?"

 

 

And, when I'm required to put something in, I'm allowed to decide the terms.
"Kid, we've been over this all semester and you haven't made any progress in fixing the problem.  I'm not willing to keep throwing money into a class you don't want to take.  If you decide you want or need this class, you need to know that if you fail due to lack of responsibility, I will be asking for my investment money back.  You can pay in chores or from your savings."

 

 

 

It's HARD to stand there.  But it pays off.  My oldest is away at college now and he's not afraid to come to me with problems or what he's done. I get updates like a picture of his class/study group schedule so I know when not to contact him or  "Mom, the teacher wasn't able to see my engineering project because the system wasn't recognizing that I turned it in on time.  I went back and forth, emailing him and the assistant all weekend until today when I was able to see him during office hours and show him my screen shots to compare with his.  I got credit, thankfully.  It was 20% of my grade!"

 

Letting him fail in high school helped him to develop his own methods, but setting the boundaries helped him develop his backbone and go from passive to active.

 

i get this, i really do. but he has NO suggestions on how to prevent this from happening again. None. He feels like we've tried everything and nothing works. And he feels badly about it and really does want to figure out a way to make it not happen again, which again, brings me back to some kind of disability. My sister has a real problem with deadlines and "time" and trying her hardest but still getting things done late. This is NOT due to lack of effort on her part, but is a real 'disconnect' in her brain.

 

I no longer think this is about him taking ownership or 'trying harder'. I feel like there's a problem here with how he processes time and assignments, which is why i think it's more than just saying 'he needs to learn to fail and then figure out a solution.'



#12 Halcyon

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 08:15 AM

Ds17 has been using a small daily planner this year.  I give him a weekly list of assignments and he fills in the calendar as to how much he does on each day.  I don't know that he would have been able to do this a few years ago.

 

I just bought this weekly calendar for myself and it has been helpful in keeping practices, lessons, and doctor's appointments straight.  Maybe something like this would help your ds.

 

 

i dont think thats big enough, tbh. i think he would do better with  giant piece of paper on his wall with assignments in red sharpie. for him, if it's small or in a paper calendar and not right in front of his fce, he doesn't do it.



#13 Halcyon

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 08:16 AM

Hurricane Sandy helped my dc learn the value of margin. He has to realize people give themselves margin -- move the assignment due date earlier in case the internet goes down, the power goes out, last minute questions, etc. Then he will always be ready for the submission window.

You can ask him if he wants ideas, if he does one that works is a planner with hourly slots.
He has to commit to planning ahead, and not being a ' last minute Charlie'. The one my dc uses is printable, at the website www.worksheetworks.com/miscellanea/calendars/hour dot html. The week planner works for him, in wide orientation. He can print out entire semester, and plan each week at a time plus chunk out long term assignments. He has to plan when he is going to do the work and hold himself accountable. Writing in due dates is not enough.

 

 

the suggetstion of writing in WHEN to do the assignments is an excellent one. thank you. 



#14 HomeAgain

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 08:18 AM

You say he's tried smart phone calendars.  On my phone, I can set an alert for a time prior to the actual time slot.  Like, I have show tickets for Nov.  I set an alert for the day ahead of it and one for 2 hours before so that I have everything ready to go (tickets in my purse, outfits picked, parking prepaid).

 

I honestly don't believe that a child who is checking a calendar daily as part of their routine and is using a calendar appropriately is going to miss assignments with the frequency you suggest.  So yeah, it does come down to expecting him to do what he needs to and developing that.


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#15 mirabillis

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 09:25 AM

i have a 10th grader with all outsourced classes. he's not at the point where he can schedule for himself yet, and i'm ok with that. i'm hoping once 16 or 17 rolls around, he'll take the reins from me. for now, i help. every sat/sun, in true homeschool teacher/administrator position, i go through all of his online classes and set a weekly schedule for him. then each day, i post that day's part of the weekly schedule into a large check-boxed TO-DO list (we are now happily using onenote - thanks to research here) and it works great. he gets privileges when he completes all checkboxes marked for that day. it includes his outside appointments/activities to keep him on track. it's hand-holding, yes - but it also keeps me more invested in him, helps me know what he's up to, esp since none of the classes are with me anymore. i'll do it as long as need be. 15 yo boys and organization/scheduling, i have found, do not mix.


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#16 Penelope

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 09:45 AM

If he has no ideas and wants your help, you could do what a middle school teacher does for her students that struggle with organization: check with them after each class or at the end of the day and see with your own eyes that they have written their assignments and due date/time down correctly. Then ask what day they plan to do the assignment and submit and have them write that down in front of you. That planner should be out and maybe open wherever the schoolwork is done, and the habit of reviewing it and planning the day's work and submissions needs to be developed. They just need to do this and find a system that works. Whether it is technically a disability or not really doesn't matter for life, because like everyone else, they need to figure out their own workarounds.

Edit: My dc wasn't turning things in late for online classes, but he wasn't writing things down during class and then kept having to get back on the computer to check what to do and when to turn in. I don't think it is a good habit to depend on electronics alone for school, and I think that when he doesn't write things down, with so many different courses and providers, there are too many chances to forget about things and have them slip through the cracks. Plus, sometimes the teacher gives valuable info about an assignment that isn't necessarily posted.

In school, they are seeing the teacher the next day and they turn in work at the scheduled class time. Online, there is no such trigger to remind them of deadlines, but I think the type of submissions these classes require does grow independence and readiness for college.

So calendar alerts haven't helped. Does he have a cell phone or an alarm clock? How about a blaring alarm with a specific ringtone that goes off every afternoon at a certain time the assignment is due? I do think the electronic reminder should be the backup plan, though, because I think the physical act of having a paper calendar in front of you and writing things down with your hand does something more for the brain than typing things in.

Edited by Penelope, 01 October 2017 - 09:50 AM.

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#17 SkateLeft

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 09:50 AM

One of my older kids really needed a lot of support with time management and executive functioning tasks. She's now doing great as an engineering student, but it took a lot of scaffolding to get her to the point where she could manage on her own. 

 

A 10th grader is still learning how to study and handle their time. I don't believe that all teens develop those skills at the same pace, and some of them won't just figure it out on their own. While I could hand a list of weekly assignments to two of my kids, my younger dd really needed more support. She needed me to model the planning for her.

 

You've gotten some great suggestions, but personally what I'd do is sit down with him and develop a daily assignment schedule. Help him break down the week's work into bite sized daily chunks. Since you've tried a bunch of different calendar tools and they didn't work, the problem isn't the tools. My guess is that it's how your son manages and plans his time. So pick a tool and create a daily schedule for each day of the next week. Then show him how to plan daily assignments. Lastly, help him be accountable for sticking to it. After you model how to do it, he might be fine doing it on it own, or he might need more practice and scaffolding. I think that's totally normal for some kids!

 

My daughter spent a LOT of time sitting across from me at the table. She needed me to break her stuff down into daily assignments. She gradually took on more and more responsibility for planning her work and managing her time, but I still worried a bit when she went off to college! Thankfully, she has the tools and she's done really, really well. They figure it out, but some kids need more support than others. :)


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#18 Arcadia

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 09:52 AM

ok, so far he's tried computer calendars, paper calendars and smart phone calendars.


Does he set notifications alarms on his computer and smart phone calendars? Like beep loudly 6hrs before assignment is due that kind of notification alarm.

I’m using iStudiez Pro ($3 one time cost, multi platform) for my kids because it’s easier to use then the iPhone calendar. It has their class schedules, assignments and exams in the same app, and I can color code their classes. I can set the assignment notification to a day before so it would “nag” me today for what is due tomorrow. It can also sync across devices so kids and I can see what is due and what is going to be due, as well as check off what is completed. For my kids, visual only help so much because they still need to check their planner, the sound notifications help keep them on track. My kids can even nag each other as both kids assignments and class schedules are on the same app.
App webpage http://istudentpro.com

#19 dmmetler

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 10:02 AM

I've taught my DD to put her due dates in as the day before. She uses the myHomework app.
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#20 Sebastian (a lady)

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 10:06 AM

Can he write that the assignment is due at 6:00 pm the day before it is really due? I actually get how he can confuse when the assignment is due if he is writing the date that is 1 am. He really needs to write that is due the day before. If you are both willing, you can be his accountability partner for this class, which means he has to tell you what he wants your help being accountable for - like he would tell you to put on your calendar to ask him about his assignment at noon on such and such day.


We have time zone issues too. The solution ds3 has come up with is to create his own due date of the night before.

This means he has less time Grimm the end of class to the earlier turn or quiz time. So he also has to start learning material before the class airs. He does flashcards and reads the chapter the day before class so he is ready to start translating right away.

I also have alarms on my phone. They go off about an hour before the quiz or home work is due. I ask if it was submitted. Usually the answer is yes, yesterday. Sometimes the answer is I'm doing it now (such as if We were travelling over the weekend).

Also I think any tracking system used takes some time using it to get accustomed to it. Switching each week might not be the best.
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#21 Sebastian (a lady)

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 10:17 AM

i get this, i really do. but he has NO suggestions on how to prevent this from happening again. None. He feels like we've tried everything and nothing works. And he feels badly about it and really does want to figure out a way to make it not happen again, which again, brings me back to some kind of disability. My sister has a real problem with deadlines and "time" and trying her hardest but still getting things done late. This is NOT due to lack of effort on her part, but is a real 'disconnect' in her brain.

I no longer think this is about him taking ownership or 'trying harder'. I feel like there's a problem here with how he processes time and assignments, which is why i think it's more than just saying 'he needs to learn to fail and then figure out a solution.'


He might benefit from some dwell time with one of the tracking systems along with scaffolding from you.

Have hime pick one to work with. Sit down together and sync calendars so he knows when conflicts are (sport, dentist, holidays, family visits). Dh and I do syncs about once a month so we are in the same page. My calendar also has things like midterms and finals so I don't plan a beach weekend then.

Then help him out in all the deadlines he knows. Prompt him. What about finals? Are there long term projects.

In the morning ask what he needs to get done. Ask when it needs to be turned in. Ask if he has set any reminder. He should be consulting his tracker to answer these.

If it's a question of losing a paper planner, make sure there is a consistent place it goes when not in use. Maybe a desk organizer or filing test or even a large shallow bowl for keys wallet and planner.

#22 Sebastian (a lady)

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 10:20 AM

This book was recommended a few years back. I found it helpful not only for coming up with ideas to help ds but also for how to reframe my own attitude and tone when helping.

That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week

https://www.amazon.c...k/dp/0399535594

Edited by Sebastian (a lady), 01 October 2017 - 10:23 AM.

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#23 yvonne

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 03:47 PM

When my kids have classes with a middle of the night deadline, they set a 9pm deadline for themselves so they don't miss it. They've been doing online classes for a while and we're in PST while most online providers are on EST, so it's just something we have to do.

 

WHA has a system that shows deadlines pretty clearly.  Could you sit down with him every night at 9 pm and have him pull up his WHA course assignments page and check the deadline for any assignments due that day? Sure, lots of days might not have an assignment due, but it's mostly just to build the habit.  If you do it with him every.single.day for a couple of weeks, maybe he'll get in the habit of checking on his own?  If he sees a 1 am deadline at 9pm, at least he still has time to get the assignment done.


Edited by yvonne, 01 October 2017 - 03:52 PM.

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#24 lovelearnandlive

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 04:04 PM

My dd does five online classes across four different providers. She uses a planner. On Sundays I help her fill it out for the coming week. We will look at the load for each class and the due dates, and then pencil in what she will work on/submit each day. We try to schedule work to be completed the day before it is due, in case something comes up. Then we add her other work that she does independently/with me. She then just follows her planner for the whole week. I still check in with her a couple times a day to make sure she is getting everything done and turned in.

This is our third year using this system and I don't think either of would survive without it. She needs more than just due dates; she needs to have a plan for what she will work on each day in order to get everything done.
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#25 Caroline

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 04:09 PM

I like the idea of the big paper deadline. Like those giant post-it note papers? In my classroom (I teach PS) I have a white board at the back of the room with all looming deadlines for each class. It has all upcoming quizzes, the next test, any big assignment deadlines... It is big and in my face, so I remind kids every once in a while. I also have a suggestion for intermittent deadlines. So if it is say the 2014 AP Calculus AB free response section due next Friday, I will say things like have questions 1&2 done by Monday, 3&4 by Tuesday, 5&6 by Wednesday, Thursday is for looking over you answers, making sure units match, etc. That way it is an every day thing, not just OMG it's due Friday!!
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#26 Halcyon

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 04:48 PM

thank you all. we sat down and had a long discussion. I suggested a printed schedule with WHEN work will get done, not just due dates, and he agreed. I ALSO wanted to do a giant post it note with assignments that he could "check off" as he completed them, but his argument was the schedule itself was sufficient and he would "check off" as he completed each item. I said i didn't think so but didn't want to force the issue. 

 

So here's what we did: we have a google calendar with times when he will work on each assignment (and if course upload it). This calender is actually printed in color and taped above his desk so he has a visual reminder every day. The due date is usually a full day before the due date. He "shared" the calendar with me so I can log in (when I am at work or home) and see what he has to do each day. I will 'check in with him through out the day ("How'd that Spanish homework go?")  He will email me at the end of each day with the work completed and I will confirm that against the shared calendar. As he improves in his abiliity to meet the deadlines, i will intentionally 'slack off' a bit and give him more freedom (ie not have him email me, just verbally confirm that the work is complete). 

 

I also told him that one more late assignment means he has to do the giant post it note and have even more supervision from me. THe intent, of course, is to get him to a point where he needs no supervision at all. Hopefully that wont' take too long. \

 

How does this sound?


Edited by Halcyon, 01 October 2017 - 04:49 PM.

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#27 Halcyon

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 04:52 PM

When my kids have classes with a middle of the night deadline, they set a 9pm deadline for themselves so they don't miss it. They've been doing online classes for a while and we're in PST while most online providers are on EST, so it's just something we have to do.

 

WHA has a system that shows deadlines pretty clearly.  Could you sit down with him every night at 9 pm and have him pull up his WHA course assignments page and check the deadline for any assignments due that day? Sure, lots of days might not have an assignment due, but it's mostly just to build the habit.  If you do it with him every.single.day for a couple of weeks, maybe he'll get in the habit of checking on his own?  If he sees a 1 am deadline at 9pm, at least he still has time to get the assignment done.

 

 

Excellent idea. We will do this every night. Thank you.


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#28 mirabillis

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 04:57 PM

 

This is our third year using this system and I don't think either of would survive without it. She needs more than just due dates; she needs to have a plan for what she will work on each day in order to get everything done.

 

this is what we do - we too need a plan for what to work on each day. especially for those classes that give ALL work due the following week. it's hard otherwise to parse it out and plan and not get behind.


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#29 RootAnn

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 05:04 PM

Just curious, is this Spanish @ WHA?

I find it curious that only one of the three classes at the same provider is having this trouble, but I understand the time zone thing because we've run into the same thing (different provider). DD & I were trying to think of a way he can change his time zone on WHA's Canvas so that it shows the midnight deadline so he internalizes what day it is due - without messing up his other classes. I don't know if it'll make it more confusing or not.

 

(DD says he can try it to see if it helps. In his Canvas account, hit "account", "Settings" and there will be a button on the right hand side that says "Edit Settings." His "time zone" can be shifted one so that it'll say the assignment is due at 11:59 p.m. instead of 12:59 a.m. All other deadlines will move up an hour, too. The REAL deadline is the same, but because the Canvas time zone is set differently, it'll look like it is due an hour earlier than it really is.)


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#30 OneStepAtATime

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Posted 01 October 2017 - 05:21 PM

DD has serious Executive Function issues.  And she has no sense of the passage of time.  After cancer my brain became a sieve so I struggle with those things really badly, too.  We both struggle to stay on top of deadlines.  It makes life hard. 

 

Therefore, every single assignment goes into our phone calendars with an alarm for the day before something is due.  All due dates have an alarm for 24 hours before the actual due date/time so they can be turned in early instead of late.  And she and I schedule out everything in parts through Homeschool Planet. 

 

For example, in her on-line lit class the schedule is kind of funky.  Some things are more long term, some are more short term, and some take a lot of brain power while other things are quicker.  She and I sat down and set up a schedule in Homeschool Planet of when, daily, certain parts ought to be done, not just when the deadline is.  That way things are spread out in manageable chunks, nothing is forgotten, and every single day we can print out our lists for her and for me of things that we both need to get done.  Not just due dates.  

 

For instance, DD has a LOOOOOONNNNNGGG list of vocabulary terms she needs to know before mid-terms.  She also has, every couple of weeks, 20 Discussion Questions she has to have answered and submitted.  She sat with me, looked over her schedule and things the family would be doing, then broke those assignments down into daily work.  Some days, when we had more time, she scheduled in more questions to be answered, as well and vocab.  Other days we would be really busy so she only scheduled maybe one or two questions.  Maybe only one vocabulary word.  Breaking it all down into manageable pieces, already scheduled ahead of time, then also having the deadline set for turning stuff in early, and the schedule being clearly posted in both Homeschool Planet AND on her phone means she has not missed a deadline yet this year.  Her list of stuff to do is printed daily, every morning.  And we go over it again at the end of the day to make sure everything was done.  She checks things off on her list then hands it back to me for me to check things off in Homeschool Planet.  We don't go to bed until we are sure everything on both of our lists is done.

 

I don't know if that would work for your child.  Since he feels so badly and is really struggling, you might look at the book Smart But Scattered.  It might help you both to understand his struggles and possibly come up with some solutions that work specifically for him.  Sometimes the desire to do something is not enough.  Sometimes people need significant outside scaffolding to stay on top of things.  I know this is very true for DD and me.

 

Hugs and good luck.


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#31 Deee

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Posted 02 October 2017 - 08:39 AM

I have a 16 year old son. This year he has completed an online 3D modelling certificate. I am really quite shocked that he managed the deadlines so well. He has his mothers procrastinating gene (and an additional copy from his father) and no one oculd accuse him of completing anything early, but after the first anxious assignment at the beginning of the year, he has managed really well. The difference came from breaking the assignment down into chunks, making sure he understood each chunk, and worked on a bit each day. Which is how grown ups work on projects, really. Maybe it would help your son to break down each assigment and schedule the smaller pieces, rather than the overwhelming whole
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#32 katilac

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Posted 02 October 2017 - 10:26 AM

I skimmed the responses, because I really HAVE to leave soon, lol, so excuse me if this has been suggested. 

 

The original link is eluding me, but basically it can help to color code when assignments are due. Writing an assignment in orange means it's due in 10 days, purple means 5 days, blue means 3 days, red means it's due tomorrow. Or whatever system you come up with. 

 

Try combining this with a series of huge papers on the wall, one per school day, maybe lined up in the hallways or wherever you have space. 

 

I would not hesitate to scaffold a 14-yr-old for this. This would include helping him set up the papers as assignments are given, helping him to make a weekly plan and then a daily plan, and giving reminders. He's a 14-yr-old boy, not a 30-yr-old project manager. It's fine if he needs some help. Students in brick and mortar classrooms get constant reminders of when stuff is due, even in college. For the rare teacher that doesn't do this, just being in the class and hearing other students discuss it sparks thoughts of the project. 

 

My refrigerator and freezer are currently covered with plastic job ticket holders where I write important reminders by category. I'm 51, and very proud of the fact that they are merely letter-sized, and not poster-sized! He may need both visual cues and verbal reminders. 


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#33 Pen

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Posted 02 October 2017 - 12:57 PM

For my ds who has similar issues, it seems to be largely an anxiety-procrastination loop.  I posted about that and got some suggestions a week or two ago. Can't seem to find thread right now.


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#34 FriedClams

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Posted 02 October 2017 - 02:55 PM

We've always had the rule that online assignments are due 24 hours before the teacher's due date. I CANNOT STAND the last minute "it won't upload" junk. 24 hours before it's due our it's late (and gaming is shut down for the weekend).
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#35 Storygirl

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Posted 02 October 2017 - 10:55 PM

You've gotten a lot of good suggestions about how to help.Because you mentioned that it seems like a kind of disability, I just wanted to chime in and agree with OneStep that this is a problem with Executive Function. https://www.understo...tioning-issuesSomeone with EF deficits benefits from scaffolding and help, so I'm glad you are working on this with him.



#36 SanDiegoMom in VA

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 12:17 PM

We use a post-it note system with every assignment on post it notes and they get moved from the to do side to the in progress side to the done side. The kids have been doing very well with this system, and you can do notes for the whole week ahead. Or maybe a post-it note on the computer? My dad thinks he has ADHD (he never was diagnosed) and he had post-it notes EVERYWHERE. 

 

However it's hard when they are teens.  My 17 year old still can't follow the simplest advice about sleep, headache medicine, water, caffeine. Every time she is so surprised when she almost faints from dehydration or has a pounding headache after not drinking caffeine for a day. I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall sometimes. 



#37 OneStepAtATime

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 12:37 PM

thank you all. we sat down and had a long discussion. I suggested a printed schedule with WHEN work will get done, not just due dates, and he agreed. I ALSO wanted to do a giant post it note with assignments that he could "check off" as he completed them, but his argument was the schedule itself was sufficient and he would "check off" as he completed each item. I said i didn't think so but didn't want to force the issue. 

 

So here's what we did: we have a google calendar with times when he will work on each assignment (and if course upload it). This calender is actually printed in color and taped above his desk so he has a visual reminder every day. The due date is usually a full day before the due date. He "shared" the calendar with me so I can log in (when I am at work or home) and see what he has to do each day. I will 'check in with him through out the day ("How'd that Spanish homework go?")  He will email me at the end of each day with the work completed and I will confirm that against the shared calendar. As he improves in his abiliity to meet the deadlines, i will intentionally 'slack off' a bit and give him more freedom (ie not have him email me, just verbally confirm that the work is complete). 

 

I also told him that one more late assignment means he has to do the giant post it note and have even more supervision from me. THe intent, of course, is to get him to a point where he needs no supervision at all. Hopefully that wont' take too long. \

 

How does this sound?

It sounds good and I hope it works really well.

 

Just keep in mind that if he has serious Executive Function issues he may ALWAYS need some sort of structured external scaffolding systematically implemented to keep him on track.  The trick is getting him in a position where he can independently create those external structures well enough that they provide him with the support he needs and that he can follow them on his own.  That may take time.  And consistency.

 

 


Edited by OneStepAtATime, 03 October 2017 - 12:51 PM.

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#38 skimomma

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 12:51 PM

I think you have already gotten everything I could suggest.  But I wanted to be another to chime in that it is OK to scaffold a teen if they need it!  While I am in favor of letting kids make mistakes, if you see an ongoing issue, it is no longer a sink or swim situation.  My 14yo needs a lot more help with scheduling than I expected.  We end up doing many of the things suggested on this thread.  I am sure it will not last forever but it is what she needs right now.  She has too many different classes on too many different platforms and the juggling is just too overwhelming for her, so I help.  I do make her participate in the planning in hopes that eventually it will rub off on her.



#39 katilac

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Posted 06 October 2017 - 10:02 AM

Every time she is so surprised when she almost faints from dehydration or has a pounding headache after not drinking caffeine for a day. I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall sometimes. 

 

They experience something 99 times but expect the 100th time to be different. 



#40 Maryam

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Posted 11 October 2017 - 03:12 PM

i have a 10th grader with all outsourced classes. he's not at the point where he can schedule for himself yet, and i'm ok with that. i'm hoping once 16 or 17 rolls around, he'll take the reins from me. for now, i help. every sat/sun, in true homeschool teacher/administrator position, i go through all of his online classes and set a weekly schedule for him. then each day, i post that day's part of the weekly schedule into a large check-boxed TO-DO list (we are now happily using onenote - thanks to research here) and it works great. he gets privileges when he completes all checkboxes marked for that day. it includes his outside appointments/activities to keep him on track. it's hand-holding, yes - but it also keeps me more invested in him, helps me know what he's up to, esp since none of the classes are with me anymore. i'll do it as long as need be. 15 yo boys and organization/scheduling, i have found, do not mix.

Yes that age of most boys and organization don’t mix. I do something similar that I was also going to suggest. Last year, I scheduled his week (also outsourced classes). This year, every weekend, we do it together. He actually does the scheduling with my supervision. So we’ll look at the week’s worth of each subject and he divides it into each day of the week in his paper planner. His planner is a simple two-page spread with days on top and subjects on the sides (like Homeschool Daily Planner). Every day he must use his planner and highlight whatever he’s completed. This has to be done and shown to me daily before he gets his day’s privileges. They key (after a lot of trial and error) was that I had to be consistent with checking at the end of the day and consistent with the “no privileges until you’re done” policy. But that’s just what worked for my son’s personality. Each child is different.
Hope you find something that works for you and your son. Best wishes!

Edited by Maryam, 11 October 2017 - 03:13 PM.

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#41 MamaSprout

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Posted 11 October 2017 - 04:32 PM

My university uses Canvas, and the calendar will feed into all of the calendar software. (google, ical, etc), which could help. I print my iCal with my due dates (and classes, appointments, work, teaching, etc) on it then write in all of my "steps" to get to the final assignment as soon as I print it. Larger paper due Tuesday? I write in "draft" on Thursday before, revise on Friday... right on the times I plan to be able to work on them.

 

What if he did that and posted it at eye level on the refrigerator door? Teen boys spend plenty of time there, and you'd see it daily, too.


Edited by MamaSprout, 11 October 2017 - 04:35 PM.


#42 crazyforlatin

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Posted 11 October 2017 - 09:08 PM

Just curious, is this Spanish @ WHA?
I find it curious that only one of the three classes at the same provider is having this trouble, but I understand the time zone thing because we've run into the same thing (different provider). DD & I were trying to think of a way he can change his time zone on WHA's Canvas so that it shows the midnight deadline so he internalizes what day it is due - without messing up his other classes. I don't know if it'll make it more confusing or not.

(DD says he can try it to see if it helps. In his Canvas account, hit "account", "Settings" and there will be a button on the right hand side that says "Edit Settings." His "time zone" can be shifted one so that it'll say the assignment is due at 11:59 p.m. instead of 12:59 a.m. All other deadlines will move up an hour, too. The REAL deadline is the same, but because the Canvas time zone is set differently, it'll look like it is due an hour earlier than it really is.)


Aha, I just switched it for DD to read Pacific, but she doesn't know that. She's going to freak out when her homework is due on Saturday, mwahaha.