Books you wish you'd waited to give your kids?

[eternallytired]

Lately I've been struggling with this.  There are plenty of things my kids are capable of reading, but I think they lack the perspective/maturity to really appreciate; at the same time, I don't want to discourage them from reading what interests them.  This internal struggle has left me pondering: are there any books you let your kids read (or read aloud to them) that you ultimately wished you had waited on?

[Lori D.]

Just to encourage you: I was pretty conservative and waited on a number of books, and we never regretted any of those choices. There are SO MANY GOOD BOOKS for every age, that I just never saw the point of rushing ahead to advanced works, which meant we would miss the window of opportunity of books that were ideal for DSs at the younger age.

 

So, no book regrets -- just supporting you if you're choosing to wait. ;)

[mamaraby]

No, we're re-readers here so whatever they miss, I'm sure they'll pick up thenext time through. Books are not a once and done experience for re-readers. They're an ever expanding relationship that picks up complexity on further visits. It happens to me as an adult and that's one of my favorite parts of reading. Or not, some books do not age well, but that's the fault of the book, not the reader.

 

That my dd1 listened to much of the Harry Potter series as a read aloud when she was younger has not diminished the sheer delight she has experienced when reading it again for herself for the first time.

 

There are lots of different kinds of readers and many ways of parentung, though, so YMMV.

[eternallytired]

Just to encourage you: I was pretty conservative and waited on a number of books, and we never regretted any of those choices. There are SO MANY GOOD BOOKS for every age, that I just never saw the point of rushing ahead to advanced works, which meant we would miss the window of opportunity of books that were ideal for DSs at the younger age.

 

So, no book regrets -- just supporting you if you're choosing to wait. ;)

Thanks!  There are a number that I'm waiting on, but there have also been a few that we read in the past few years that either were heartily recommended for this age group or were on the Mensa list, and I thought, "Huh.  I think this would have been way better for them to read in a few years."  Or, in the case of Shiloh, "Why, oh why, did someone think that is was great for K-3!?"  I was hoping to find out about any more Shiloh-type books that I should definitely wait on.

 

No, we're re-readers here so whatever they miss, I'm sure they'll pick up thenext time through. Books are not a once and done experience for re-readers.

See, I didn't re-read any books until after college, when I suddenly realized that it might be enjoyable.  Before that, I felt like once I had read a book, I had no reason to go back.  I suppose I should take heart in the fact that all three of my kids have re-read a well-loved book or two (or 50, in the case of DD).

[nixpix5]

There has been a couple. My favorites I couldn't wait to read to them and jumped the gun. I think they enjoyed them but would have gotten so much more enjoyment and understanding out of them had I just cooled my jets and waited a couple of years.

[kiwik]

There has been a couple. My favorites I couldn't wait to read to them and jumped the gun. I think they enjoyed them but would have gotten so much more enjoyment and understanding out of them had I just cooled my jets and waited a couple of years.

Just read them to them again.

[Porridge]

A Wrinkle in Time.

I LOVE that book, but it was too scary for my DD. We're talking sobbing-in-bed-for-an-hour-and-afraid-to-go-to-sleep-scared.

[Farrar]

Let? No regrets. Any time they wanted to read, I'm glad I let them try.

 

Introduced? I mean, maybe a little. I think if we'd waited a little on Harry Potter or Narnia they might have appreciated them more. I think they might have liked Half-Magic more if I'd saved it a year. That sort of thing. But this is impossible to get right because it's so individual to the kid. And there are books that I waited too long to introduce and they probably would have enjoyed them more earlier. So... regret is probably too strong a word. I do think it's good to try and wait a bit on some books... but I have kids who don't enjoy rereading books and that colors my view. Many kids will totally revisit a book so if they read it "too soon" they'll still go back to it if you assign it later.

[Jackie]

[. . .] are there any books you let your kids read (or read aloud to them) that you ultimately wished you had waited on?

Not so far. Just this morning, DD finished book 7 of Harry Potter. I would have chosen to wait, but wasn't going to tell her no, and she loved them and is happily discussing points that I thought might have gone over her head. DH read The Hobbit with her a year ago, and DD has stated that she has no interest in LOTR because of scariness, but we wouldn't stop her if she wanted to. Thus far, she has self-selected what she can handle.

 

I've repeatedly been surprised by what she does understand. She's requested a couple of "middle grades" books as audiobooks for car rides; she listens and discusses them quite well, so my hesitation is lessening.

 

Then again, she was assigned Shiloh in an out-of-level Literature class last year (she was in first grade) and she did well with it, so I might not be your target person to answer.

[Chrysalis Academy]

My only real regret with dd14 was assigning her Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry in 6th grade. I hadn't read it. She found it really upsetting and I wished that I hadn't assigned it without reading it first.

 

There were books we read together at a ridiculously early age (I'm thinking of To Kill a Mockingbird in particular) but because we read them together, it was actually a very positive experience.

 

There was the case of Uprooted, which somebody on the book thread recommended and I handed to dd when she was 13. At some point she said, "Um, mom? You didn't pre-read this, did you?"  Apparently there's a very steamy scene in there that she didn't feel was age-appropriate.  :blushing:

Edited September 30, 2017 by Chrysalis Academy

[MotherGoose]

My sixth grader has not read where the red fern grows or old Yeller. She is aware of the plot of Old Yeller and doesn't want to read it. I read both at the usual age and was terrified my father was going to fall on an axe while hunting. So I'm okay with waiting for books that might cause distress like that.

[regentrude]

None, ever.

My kids got to read what they wanted to read. There are plenty of books in the world, and I don't feel it is an issue if they "missed"  a certain book in the "right" time window. I also find that kids will put away a book that is over their head and not interesting to them. And some books they re-read with more appreciation at a later time.

The idea to withhold a book from a kid because I think they would appreciate it more if they were older is a strange one to me. And the teacher telling my DD a certain book was "too hard" for her and she was not allowed to read it was one of the last straws just before we pulled her out of school.

ETA: I found age recommendations to be completely useless for my children. 

Edited October 1, 2017 by regentrude

[Ottakee]

I was a very avid reader as a child. I do remember reading books like Little Women when I was very young and not really enjoying them. I think if I had read them later I would have enjoyed them more. As it is, I haven't had a desire to reread those since I didn't really enjoy them the first time.

[Element]

My only real regret with dd14 was assigning her Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry in 6th grade. I hadn't read it. She found it really upsetting and I wished that I hadn't assigned it without reading it first.

 

This, exactly. I started it with my daughter when she was 10 or 11. We shelved it after a few days. We'll try again in a year or two. 

[Pen]

Call of the Wild was too brutal with the dogs when we first tried it.  But we just stopped as soon as that was realized.

 

I have more regrets about books that were missed when dc still young enough to appreciate them.  

 

I also have regrets about a book that got given away whose title and author we don't know and thus could not replace.  Thought reading it to ds once or twice was fine, but he would have liked it many times only it was too late.  (It had a theme that went something like How much do I love you?  And then some animal with the animal parent saying something that would make sense in terms of that animal about how much the parent animal loved the baby animal.  Basically a picture book with a little writing on each page.

 

And I missed some basic classics like The Little Engine That Could when the right emotional stage was there for it.

 

 

[daijobu]

Does your dc believe in the tooth fairy?  Do you want to preserve that belief?  Then don't let them read Ever Clever Elisa by Johanna Hurwitz.  

[goldenecho]

There's a few movies and such, but so far not books, save a few that were above their reading level more than I'd expected and they were bored by it.  There was the story of Odysseus and the Cyclops in Story of the World I wish I had skipped...my youngest, a 9 year oldm was definately not ready for the violence in that one.  Just didn't read ahead that time...doh.

 

On the other hand, I had no intent on letting my oldest read The Hunger Games at 11, but am so glad he ended up reading it then.  I had bought it for myself to read, but when I came into the living room one day and found him half way through it, I wasn't about to pull the book away and say "you can't read it."   I would NEVER have given him that book to read at that age, BUT, we talked about it after he was finished and it lead to some amazing discussions with him about so many things.  I ended up letting him read all three books and even going and watching the movies with him--it was a real bonding experience actually.   He was more  ready then I had realized to bridge some of those deep topics regarding war and violence than I had realized. 

Edited October 3, 2017 by goldenecho

[J-rap]

No regrets, but some of my kids were early readers, and were wanting to read some books at an age where they probably weren't understanding everything.  So my 4th grader read A Tale of Two Cities, for example, but really enjoyed it so much more when she read it again at an older age.

 

We were generally quite careful about what they read (content-wise), so for them it was more a matter of just not being mature enough to understand some of the themes, etc.  But no regrets.

[Milknhoney]

I did Treasure Island as a read aloud when ds was about 8. I had never read it before and I loved it. Ds was totally bored. I think he really didn't understand it and I should have waited. I've always felt that if I had waited, he would have loved it. He had this book of children's classics that were shortened for little kids, so he knew the plot already and was totally into it. I think that spoiled him for the longer version with slower parts. So maybe now that I think about, it's that kiddie book I regret him having... 

 

Now at 12 he's reading Kidnapped on his own and enjoying it.

[fralala]

Call of the Wild was too brutal with the dogs when we first tried it.  But we just stopped as soon as that was realized.

 

I have more regrets about books that were missed when dc still young enough to appreciate them.  

 

I also have regrets about a book that got given away whose title and author we don't know and thus could not replace.  Thought reading it to ds once or twice was fine, but he would have liked it many times only it was too late.  (It had a theme that went something like How much do I love you?  And then some animal with the animal parent saying something that would make sense in terms of that animal about how much the parent animal loved the baby animal.  Basically a picture book with a little writing on each page.

 

And I missed some basic classics like The Little Engine That Could when the right emotional stage was there for it.

 

Totally agree with the bolded, although...I know so many adults who are passionate about children's literature that maybe it's not too late! But it's a different kind of appreciation, isn't it? You used the words "emotional stage," and I think those are just right. There's something about reading a book that just gets you.

 

I read most of Judy Blume's books (some to the librarian's considerable consternation) when I was about 8 years old. I didn't get any of the references that appalled the librarian's sensibilities, and maybe that's an argument for allowing kids to read the books they want, but just to play devil's advocate maybe that's also an argument that I would have gotten more from them if I'd read them once I really was going through adolescence, and feeling insecure about my body, or discovering it Deenie-style. (As it was, I thought Deenie's special place was her shoulder.) I missed out on one of the things that makes Judy Blume Judy Blume. I guess this happens to adults, too, though-- when you read the right book at the right time in your life, it's a revelation. And that can't necessarily be something you can predict or control.

 

[i also wanted to say I'm pretty sure we can figure out your Mystery Book...I keep thinking of "almost it" books (I Love My Mommy Because immediately came to mind but not quite what you're looking for)...on that note, though, you made me realize with your comment that it is worth it to buy the library book my 4 year old adores while she still adores it. Not worth pinching those pennies.]

[SkateLeft]

No regrets here. 

 

The only thing I really honestly regret was letting my oldest see the movie version of 1984 when she was in 8th grade. She'd read the book and we were going to compare the film version to the book. My husband was supposed to be watching it with her and fast forward the inappropriate bits, but he fell asleep on the couch. We joke about it now, but at the time, I was horrified. Lesson learned!

 

When my kids were young, I tended to hold off on using books that scarred me as a kid, like The Yearling by Majorie Kinnan Rawling. That book DEVASTATED me, so I just didn't include it in anything we did. If my kids had come across it and wanted to read it, I'd have let them, but I wasn't about to voluntarily give it to them. There were a few others in that vein, but I forget them at the moment.

[goldenecho]

No regrets here. 

 

The only thing I really honestly regret was letting my oldest see the movie version of 1984 when she was in 8th grade. She'd read the book and we were going to compare the film version to the book. My husband was supposed to be watching it with her and fast forward the inappropriate bits, but he fell asleep on the couch. We joke about it now, but at the time, I was horrified. Lesson learned!

 

When my kids were young, I tended to hold off on using books that scarred me as a kid, like The Yearling by Majorie Kinnan Rawling. That book DEVASTATED me, so I just didn't include it in anything we did. If my kids had come across it and wanted to read it, I'd have let them, but I wasn't about to voluntarily give it to them. There were a few others in that vein, but I forget them at the moment.

 

I know what you mean about The Yearling!   What was it with that age and books about having to kill pets?   Where the Red Fern Grows, The Yearling, A Day No Pigs Would Die.   Had to read them all in school between 6th and 8th grade.  I remember sort of liking "Where the Red Fern Grows" in spite of shedding major tears over it, but the rest were just too much.

 

[73349]

 

 

I also have regrets about a book that got given away whose title and author we don't know and thus could not replace.  Thought reading it to ds once or twice was fine, but he would have liked it many times only it was too late.  (It had a theme that went something like How much do I love you?  And then some animal with the animal parent saying something that would make sense in terms of that animal about how much the parent animal loved the baby animal.  Basically a picture book with a little writing on each page.

 

I think you mean this one: I Love You As Much.

[Pen]

I think you mean this one: I Love You As Much.

 

 

Yes! I think that's the one!  Thank you!

 

But now ds, who would probably have liked to have listened to that night after night at around age 6, is a 15yo. Should I replace it? Or is that window gone, gone, gone forever?  

 

If he were sick in bed one day, he might still get a kick out of it, but it would not be the same now at all.

[73349]

IDK, I still read my 9yo Mommy Hugs (Gutman/Hallensleben) from time to time. I'd read it to a 15yo on a bad day at least.

[boscopup]

I haven't had any really sensitive kids yet (we'll see about my daughter when she's reading age), so they've been ok with anything at their reading level so far. If they find a book too scary, they'll just put it down. No big deal. Same thing goes for TV shows. If it starts to get scary, they leave the room or turn it off and don't watch it. Mine tend to have weird fear/no-fear... Like one son could watch the LOTR movies at age 5, but the happy, singing CLEANING SCENE of Snow White terrified him.  :lol: He was thinking about the witch coming back, so that's where his mind went. I find that cartoons tend to scare my kids more than realistic looking movies. I have no idea why! You'd think it would be the opposite.

[Seeking Squirrels]

Call of the Wild was too brutal with the dogs when we first tried it.  But we just stopped as soon as that was realized.

 

I have more regrets about books that were missed when dc still young enough to appreciate them.  

 

I also have regrets about a book that got given away whose title and author we don't know and thus could not replace.  Thought reading it to ds once or twice was fine, but he would have liked it many times only it was too late.  (It had a theme that went something like How much do I love you?  And then some animal with the animal parent saying something that would make sense in terms of that animal about how much the parent animal loved the baby animal.  Basically a picture book with a little writing on each page.

 

And I missed some basic classics like The Little Engine That Could when the right emotional stage was there for it.

 

Guess How Much I Love You  ? This was one of my kids' favorites!

 

Edited October 4, 2017 by Whovian10

[meganrussell]

I preread every book I give my kids. If it's not age appropriate, I save it. If it is, they usually want to read it because they saw me enjoying it. It makes them feel like it's something they GET to read, lol.

[4KookieKids]

I preread every book I give my kids. If it's not age appropriate, I save it. If it is, they usually want to read it because they saw me enjoying it. It makes them feel like it's something they GET to read, lol.

Ha ha. I aimed for this for a while, but best laid plans... I have four kids, and - unlike them - I can't spend my entire day reading! lol. They just have lots more opportunity to read than I do, and I can't keep up even though I read more quickly. So I'm always impressed at folks who can keep up with their kids' reading! 

[Hobbes]

Ha ha. I aimed for this for a while, but best laid plans... I have four kids, and - unlike them - I can't spend my entire day reading! lol. They just have lots more opportunity to read than I do, and I can't keep up even though I read more quickly. So I'm always impressed at folks who can keep up with their kids' reading!

Ditto this. And I currently just have one avid reader. And I read a lot and quickly. But life...

 

When I think about how much I read when I was a kid, I'm pretty sure no adult would have kept up. I knew my parents' standards and mostly kept to them. I did stumble into some interesting things at the library, but I feel like that mainly just informed my tastes... I think. 😉

[mamamoose]

This, exactly. I started it with my daughter when she was 10 or 11. We shelved it after a few days. We'll try again in a year or two.

My dd read this in 4th and loved it. It changed her book genre from Judy Blume to more serious and obviously more academic reading. Just goes to show that every kid is different.

Edited October 4, 2017 by mamamoose

[rainbird2]

My 11 year old was not ready for The Giver.  That was a huge mistake.  I didn't preread...I just don't have time to preread everything.  I try to be more careful with reading reviews and synopses these days. 

 

I did read The Giver after he read it, and thought it was an excellent book.  He would have been ready for it in his mid teens.  He's a sensitive guy.

 

 

[Chrysalis Academy]

My 11 year old was not ready for The Giver.  That was a huge mistake.  I didn't preread...I just don't have time to preread everything.  I try to be more careful with reading reviews and synopses these days. 

 

I did read The Giver after he read it, and thought it was an excellent book.  He would have been ready for it in his mid teens.  He's a sensitive guy.

 

To me, that's the most important reason to wait. It's not about censorship, it's about not rushing a sensitive kid to grow up before they are ready.

 

The difference between 11 and 13, in terms of what they can handle or are interested in, is huge IME. Even for sensitive kids. No need to rush.

[Bluegoat]

Not really.  I do try and suggest things I think are at about the right level.  But I think you'll never be perfect - sometimes it could have waited, other times you wait too long.  I'd not generally give Wuthering Heights to someone at 12, for example, even if they could read it.

 

I don't really restrict books the kids choose to read, I might I guess for very extreme content, in the pre-teen and under set.  I don't know that I would for older kids.  There are things I think it is better for people not to read - some things you can't get out of your mind.  But I also think that is something people have to largely learn for themselves.  As far as ideas, I don't restrict those.

 

I don't think its abad thing in itself for kids to be upset by a book - they can choose to avoid that kind of content if the like, after.  But I'd not restrict difficult but good stories on that account.

[nixpix5]

When I first answered this it was more about books that I loved and I felt went over my kids head due to being young.

 

I also regret letting them read "Brothers in Hope" about the lost boys of Sudan. It was just way to much. I don't shield my kids from the world and I want them to have a heart for people. When I looked over and my daughter was in silent sobbing convulsions I knew I shouldn't have read it. Lesson learned. Good book but oh my goodness!

[EmilyGF]

I didn't let dd10 read Pride and Prejudice when she asked to. I remember feeling so sad when I finished it because I'd never have the chance of reading it again for the first time, and I didn't want her to read it (and get bored of it) instead of enjoy it when she is ready.

 

She had that experience with Anne of Green Gables and a few other books, where she started them too young, found the language boring, and then hasn't wanted to read them because she remembers the beginning too well to enjoy rereading it but not well enough to have connected with the characters. What's frustrating is that these are really good books she would love - if she had just waited a year or two.

 

Emily

[Bluegoat]

I didn't let dd10 read Pride and Prejudice when she asked to. I remember feeling so sad when I finished it because I'd never have the chance of reading it again for the first time, and I didn't want her to read it (and get bored of it) instead of enjoy it when she is ready.

 

She had that experience with Anne of Green Gables and a few other books, where she started them too young, found the language boring, and then hasn't wanted to read them because she remembers the beginning too well to enjoy rereading it but not well enough to have connected with the characters. What's frustrating is that these are really good books she would love - if she had just waited a year or two.

 

Emily

 

Yes, I think that this is really the balance that it's worth trying to find.  Not getting tied up in knots, but using a bit of discernment.

 

If you remember a book as boring, or too much of a struggle, you may well not go back to it, even if it wouldn't be boring now.