Scarlett Posted October 21, 2017 Author Share Posted October 21, 2017 (edited) wow, that would be a shocking discovery for sure! So she has a name for her bio dad now? Yes. The half sister knows a lot and mom was able to piece together even more details. Edited October 21, 2017 by A Red Color 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 (edited) Nm No he isn't in the data base, but his probable nephew is. It tells how much dna they share. Edited October 21, 2017 by reefgazer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 I think these DNA tests are 99 percent about morbid curiosity and maybe 1% about people obtaining health information that actually effects their medical treatment. Knowing you have heart disease on your father's side and being able to DO anything about it that you wouldn't do otherwise are two different things. I'm not a conscpiracy theorist about ANYTHING, but I can see health insurance companies using this information to jack up rates. My health insurance company tried to offer us free fit bits where they had access to the information so they could give us discounts. WHO is taking them up on this? Can you just imagine if a kid who deposited to a sperm bank in college ends up on the hook for child support over this one day? Laws change and information is powerful in the wrong hands. I'm starting to think that the only way you can maintain genetic privacy is to never do these commercial tests. People who won't do Facebook because they feel too publically exposed are doing these mail order genetic tests and it's turning into its own form of social media. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 21, 2017 Author Share Posted October 21, 2017 (edited) My mom did not do it for the health info. She wanted to know. Edited October 21, 2017 by A Red Color 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 My mom called me today. She said she was so glad I was her daughter. And she was glad we have our faith and that she had been truthful to me. Lomg story short, she connected with a half sister through the DNA Match. The half sister who is in her 80s is sure my mom is her half sister. My mom has 14 half siblings. Unreal. Please. Don't lie to your children. FOURTEEN?!!! Oh my goodness. That's a baseball team and then some. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 Yes. The half sister knows a lot and mom was able to piece together even more details. Are those fourteen scattered, or did others grow up in a sibling group(s)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 21, 2017 Author Share Posted October 21, 2017 I think one from a young marriage, 7 from a second marriage, then my mom, then a last marriage of 6. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 I think these DNA tests are 99 percent about morbid curiosity and maybe 1% about people obtaining health information that actually effects their medical treatment. Knowing you have heart disease on your father's side and being able to DO anything about it that you wouldn't do otherwise are two different things. I'm not a conscpiracy theorist about ANYTHING, but I can see health insurance companies using this information to jack up rates. My health insurance company tried to offer us free fit bits where they had access to the information so they could give us discounts. WHO is taking them up on this? Can you just imagine if a kid who deposited to a sperm bank in college ends up on the hook for child support over this one day? Laws change and information is powerful in the wrong hands. I'm starting to think that the only way you can maintain genetic privacy is to never do these commercial tests. People who won't do Facebook because they feel too publically exposed are doing these mail order genetic tests and it's turning into its own form of social media. I agree. This seems like a bad idea. I said it upthread and my mind hasn’t been changed, some secrets should stay secret. I’m not a fan of truth for the sake of it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 22, 2017 Author Share Posted October 22, 2017 (edited) I agree. This seems like a bad idea. I said it upthread and my mind hasn’t been changed, some secrets should stay secret. I’m not a fan of truth for the sake of it. As I said up thread I believe the truth is always best. Edited October 22, 2017 by A Red Color 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StartingOver Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 I agree that the truth is always best. You can not understand the need to know who your parent/parents/siblings/etc are unless you have walked in the shoes of one who doesn't know. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 22, 2017 Author Share Posted October 22, 2017 I agree that the truth is always best. You can not understand the need to know who your parent/parents/siblings/etc are unless you have walked in the shoes of one who doesn't know. Absolutely. I have lived a life with awkward truths and devastating lies. The lies have always been the most painful. Even this thing with my long dead grandmother. I question everything now. We really never knew her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StartingOver Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Absolutely. I have lived a life with awkward truths and devastating lies. The lies have always been the most painful. Even this thing with my long dead grandmother. I question everything now. We really never knew her So many lies, so many secrets. Just be honest. I am on a search for an unnamed father, not my own but someone very close. I just found a great grandmother I had been searching for, for over 20 years, it was all through DNA. Anyone who doesn't understand why these tests would be done could visit DNA Detectives on Facebook, run by CeCe from the Long Lost Family show. You will see all sides of the issue and what DNA is bringing to it. I am thankful for my DNA health results too. It proves my suspicion about many preventative medical issues. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 5, 2017 Author Share Posted December 5, 2017 So the 80 something year old woman that both believe is a half sister to my mom has agreed to take the DNA test. She isn't 'on line', so she let my mom set up the account so it can be uploaded and compared. Another relative found via this search is paying for the test because the 80 year old woman lives on small income. She has already sent it off. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 5, 2017 Author Share Posted December 5, 2017 My mom was well loved and well cared for by the man she thought was her dad...and by her extended family on that side. In fact, she grew up in AR around her paternal family--the maternal side was all in CA. Now suddenly everything is turned upside down. I mean, life long cousins don't quit being cousins because of DNA but it is weird. The thing is my mom always suspected it. And she suspects that her brother who is 18 months younger than her also is not their 'father's' child. But he refuses to take the test. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 5, 2017 Author Share Posted December 5, 2017 Oh and the half sister just found (not yet confirmed) sent my mom a picture of their dad! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw4321 Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 Did she know her bio-father at all? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandwalker Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 As I said up thread I believe the truth is always best.Nowadays, yes, tell the truth, but back then, women felt they had to lie sometimes about paternity. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 5, 2017 Author Share Posted December 5, 2017 Did she know her bio-father at all? No. Other than the bits that she is piecing together from ancestery.com and this half sister she knows nothing. Appparently the half sister says her parents divorced around the time my mother was conceived and they lived in the same city my mother was born in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 20, 2017 Author Share Posted December 20, 2017 The suspected half sister's test results came back. No question they are half siblings. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted December 20, 2017 Share Posted December 20, 2017 The suspected half sister's test results came back. No question they are half siblings. Well at least there is now confirmation. How is your mom handling things? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 20, 2017 Author Share Posted December 20, 2017 Well at least there is now confirmation. How is your mom handling things? She was much more excited than she thought she would be. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted December 20, 2017 Share Posted December 20, 2017 She was much more excited than she thought she would be. Hey that's great! Will they get to visit at all? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gstharr Posted December 20, 2017 Share Posted December 20, 2017 She found a paternal first cousin (probably first cousin but very closely related). From the info she can find on line his father only had one brother. So that is probably her father. She had done a lot of digging and she thinks she has the name of her father....but no one is left alive to confirm it. The first cousin she found won't talk to her. Familial DNA analysis is a developing area of police investigation. If they don't have the suspect's identity in the dna data bank, they search the data base to see if someone whose dna and identity they do have is highly likely to be related to the unknown suspect. They have to cross check the life, history, and relatives of the known person to confirm the likely relationship to the unknown suspect. Look up Los Angeles' GRIM REAPER ( Rodney Franklin ?). The dna of a relative, in jail, closely matched the Grim Reaper's leading to the eventual capture of this serial killer. But the DNA test itself cannot confirm a relationship, only the high probability of it (e.g chance of paternity 99.9999) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 20, 2017 Author Share Posted December 20, 2017 Familial DNA analysis is a developing area of police investigation. If they don't have the suspect's identity in the dna data bank, they search the data base to see if someone whose dna and identity they do have is highly likely to be related to the unknown suspect. They have to cross check the life, history, and relatives of the known person to confirm the likely relationship to the unknown suspect. Look up Los Angeles' GRIM REAPER ( Rodney Franklin ?). The dna of a relative, in jail, closely matched the Grim Reaper's leading to the eventual capture of this serial killer. But the DNA test itself cannot confirm a relationship, only the high probability of it (e.g chance of paternity 99.9999) That is very interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 20, 2017 Author Share Posted December 20, 2017 Hey that's great! Will they get to visit at all? I am not sure. I don't know where she lives. I will ask my mom. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted December 21, 2017 Share Posted December 21, 2017 I think these DNA tests are 99 percent about morbid curiosity and maybe 1% about people obtaining health information that actually effects their medical treatment. Knowing you have heart disease on your father's side and being able to DO anything about it that you wouldn't do otherwise are two different things. I'm not a conscpiracy theorist about ANYTHING, but I can see health insurance companies using this information to jack up rates. My health insurance company tried to offer us free fit bits where they had access to the information so they could give us discounts. WHO is taking them up on this? Can you just imagine if a kid who deposited to a sperm bank in college ends up on the hook for child support over this one day? Laws change and information is powerful in the wrong hands. I'm starting to think that the only way you can maintain genetic privacy is to never do these commercial tests. People who won't do Facebook because they feel too publically exposed are doing these mail order genetic tests and it's turning into its own form of social media. For a large number of people, DNA tests are about finding more information on your genealogy. I've studied my family's and my husband's family's genealogy for 20 years, and DNA evidence can confirm known/assumed history and provide new data. Just as the internet opened up research opportunities when I began, DNA evidence opens up a whole new world of information. Two reasons I haven't done it yet--my family's roots are from areas that don't have the tests readily available yet, and that's where I really want to find people. Also, I haven't had time to look further into what exactly is done with your DNA after testing (privacy issues). If/when I do decide though, I want my sister to do it too to get a better idea of our ethnicity. I love that and have uncovered intriguing tidbits. It would be fun to confirm! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted December 21, 2017 Share Posted December 21, 2017 I'd like my husband to be tested for the ethnicity reason. My near ancestors were peasants who didn't move around and most of them didn't immigrate to America until relatively recently and even then stayed in their country of origin communities. But, my FIL's family has been in America for forever, so who knows what is in there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 21, 2017 Author Share Posted December 21, 2017 So my mom called one of her 'paternal' cousins-she-was-raised-with (so difficult to know how to define all of these people now.) There was silence on the other end. Mom says, are you still there? Cousin says, 'yes I am just stunned'. Then as the conversation went on cousin says, 'I always thought you were cut from a different cloth'. That comment isn't translating well but she didn't mean she ever questioned my mom's parentage.....she means mom was always just the one of the siblings and cousins who was different in a lot of ways. The details of my mom's birth and the marriage would lend people to be suspicious of who the real father might have been. To the credit of the extended paternal family whom she was raised around....no one every treated her differently. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 I agree. This seems like a bad idea. I said it upthread and my mind hasn’t been changed, some secrets should stay secret. I’m not a fan of truth for the sake of it. I am the complete opposite. Secrets are toxic, and truth is like information: it wants to be free. I think these DNA tests are 99 percent about morbid curiosity You say that like it's a bad thing :laugh: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 For a large number of people, DNA tests are about finding more information on your genealogy. I've studied my family's and my husband's family's genealogy for 20 years, and DNA evidence can confirm known/assumed history and provide new data. Just as the internet opened up research opportunities when I began, DNA evidence opens up a whole new world of information. Two reasons I haven't done it yet--my family's roots are from areas that don't have the tests readily available yet, and that's where I really want to find people. Also, I haven't had time to look further into what exactly is done with your DNA after testing (privacy issues). If/when I do decide though, I want my sister to do it too to get a better idea of our ethnicity. I love that and have uncovered intriguing tidbits. It would be fun to confirm! If you have any older generation relatives--parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, great aunts/uncles who would be willing to test you will get better ethnicity and genealogy results. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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