mom@shiloh Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Here's the story and I'm just dumping it here to let off steam: My kids invited a group of about 20 kids over. A few days before the event, I was talking to Mom A. Mom B came over and started to invite the kids of Mom A to do something with her kids for the same time as my kids' event, completely ignoring me and the fact that all of the kids had already been invited to my house. I have no problem with the kids not coming to our event or with them making other plans, but why on earth is she doing this right in front of me? Call! Text! Wait until I'm not there! If this was the first time something like this happened, I'd just chalk it up to forgetfulness, but it has happened several times. If there was any possible way that I could avoid Mom B, I would, but our kid's activities throw us together and she annoys the socks off of me. There. I feel better. A little. Thanks for listening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 (edited) Did the invitations go through the moms or directly to the kids? If you hadn't directly told mom B about your event there is no guarantee she knew about it. If she did know then yes she was being rude; I am sorry. Edited September 23, 2017 by maize Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom@shiloh Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share Posted September 23, 2017 The invitations were sent by email to all the moms -- most kids can't drive, so as long as parents need to be involved in getting kids where they are invited, I always include the parents in the invitations. Invitations were reinforced by texts from kid to kid and word of mouth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 (edited) Mom B is being a passive aggressive b*tch for some reason. Did Mom A think to speak up "oh, kids already doing something then" (your kid's thing)? Edited September 23, 2017 by JFSinIL 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom@shiloh Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share Posted September 23, 2017 Honestly, I think that she was rude even if there had been nothing going on at my house at the same time. Why would anyone interrupt a conversation to make plans that don't include everyone in the group? I certainly have no issue with people not including me or my kids in everything, but there were 23 3/4 other hours in that day when she could have done that. Her kids always make sure they let my kids know when they've done something fun that my kids weren't invited to. Sigh. In my head I know that they're just terribly insecure, but still....... 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom@shiloh Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share Posted September 23, 2017 Mom B is being a passive aggressive b*tch for some reason. Did Mom A think to speak up "oh, kids already doing something then" (your kid's thing)? No, Mom A could have been slightly out of the loop on things since she had a major event going on in her family this week. I'll give her a pass since she could have been way behind on email or just might not have thought about it because of the other chaos in her life recently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 (edited) Regardless of the event you already had scheduled it is simply bad manners to invite someone to something when the other person standing there is not invited. Mom B is not a nice person. Edited September 23, 2017 by kewb 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinivanMom Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 I agree with the previous poster that Mom B is being a passive aggressive witch. I had someone in my social circle for several years that would always do things like this: deliberately planning things that conflict and talking about private events in front of kids or moms who weren't invited. One of my children had an activity with one of her children so I couldn't completely avoid her, but she drove me absolutely batty. I found the best approach was to stay out of her way as much as possible and be constantly upbeat and positive when I did have to interact with her. She actually has amazing, overachieving kids (who I genuinely like), so I always worked hard to keep the conversation on her children. It also helped me to see how uncomfortable she made mutual friends with her passive-aggressive stuff. Because I never wanted to gossip about her, but it helped me to see other people squirming when she was being a witch so I knew other people saw it too. KWIM? Our kids are no longer involved in the same activity so I only run into her once in a very long while. It's such a relief to not have to deal with that anymore. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Regardless of the event you already had scheduled it is simply bad manners to invite someone to something when the other person standing there is not invited. Mom B is not a nice person. :iagree: YES! So rude. This literally happened to me with 3 moms this week at an event I planned and all of them were standing at. They were talking about doing a mom's night out together and obviously excluding me from the conversation. WTH? Were you all raised in a barn? Do what you want, but plan it on your own. And if you could avoid posting 3000 selfies at your exclusive event on social media like a 13 year old that wouldn't hurt either. :glare: 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alessandra Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 (edited) :iagree: YES! So rude. This literally happened to me with 3 moms this week at an event I planned and all of them were standing at. They were talking about doing a mom's night out together and obviously excluding me from the conversation. WTH? Were you all raised in a barn? Do what you want, but plan it on your own. And if you could avoid posting 3000 selfies at your exclusive event on social media like a 13 year old that wouldn't hurt either. :glare: In a barn? I think not. Judging from my limited experience -- Wilbur (Charlotte's Web) and Babe --barn animals are quite polite. Edited September 23, 2017 by Alessandra 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 In a barn? I think not. Judging from my limited experience -- Wilbur (Charlotte's Web) and Babe --barn animals are quite polite. 😂 You do have a point there! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 I’d be tempted to call her on it next time this happens. “Oh, did you forget we’re having XYZ event then?†4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Was Mom B's family included in your event? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom@shiloh Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share Posted September 23, 2017 Some of her kids were, but not the whole family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 it is possible she really is that clueless. as an aspie - I've had times I have been that clueless. (now I am more aware, I look back on them with extreme embarrassment) cluelessness is very common for aspies, which may or may not be obvious to outsiders. women can have very different manifestations of aspergers than men. women aspies can look normal, but still be completely clueless with social cues. it is also possible she's just being passive aggressive. which requires intent to be rude and snotty. (does she have an anger problem? I find they're often linked.) does she come across as though she's enjoying giving slights? (my grandmother couldn't hide her satisfaction after delivering a barb.) life is more pleasant if you treat her as being clueless - even if you know for a fact she's being passive aggressive. if she really is that you're a better person for giving the benefit of the doubt and showing grace. and if she's not . . . I've head the old saying of why you should be excruciatingly polite to rude people - nothing annoys them so much. ;) dh used to drive my grandmother insane by being excruciatingly polite (and cheerful) to her. (she was a nasty piece of work.) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Honestly, I think that she was rude even if there had been nothing going on at my house at the same time. Why would anyone interrupt a conversation to make plans that don't include everyone in the group? I certainly have no issue with people not including me or my kids in everything, but there were 23 3/4 other hours in that day when she could have done that. Her kids always make sure they let my kids know when they've done something fun that my kids weren't invited to. Sigh. In my head I know that they're just terribly insecure, but still....... that's really sad, and they are getting it from her. and I agree - that speaks of serious insecurity. my grandmother was a nasty pow - I believe it was based in insecurity, which she passed on to all of us. my brother is still that way . . . .very insecure, and an absolute toxic boor. :iagree: YES! So rude. This literally happened to me with 3 moms this week at an event I planned and all of them were standing at. They were talking about doing a mom's night out together and obviously excluding me from the conversation. WTH? Were you all raised in a barn? Do what you want, but plan it on your own. And if you could avoid posting 3000 selfies at your exclusive event on social media like a 13 year old that wouldn't hurt either. :glare: but it sounds like emotionally/maturity they are 13, so they're behaving like one would expect . . . 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 :iagree: YES! So rude. This literally happened to me with 3 moms this week at an event I planned and all of them were standing at. They were talking about doing a mom's night out together and obviously excluding me from the conversation. WTH? Were you all raised in a barn? Do what you want, but plan it on your own. And if you could avoid posting 3000 selfies at your exclusive event on social media like a 13 year old that wouldn't hurt either. :glare: I'm so sorry that happened to you. That was so mean!!! :( 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 I'm sorry that happened :/ Recently I was finishing up talking to a mom and another mom I know came over. The two of them started talking so I just kinda faded into the background and left. They were talking about plans with each other. I kinda had a moment in my head like, "uh, okay wait til I leave" lol. Later come to find out via facebook their daughters are in some subgroup exclusively for girls. My child closest to their age is a boy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiffnkids Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 Not cool. I just hope that this didn't happen in front of your kids. As adults, we can deal with this rude behavior (even when it hurts), but it is so much harder for kids to understand. My now 18 and 20 yo dds stopped inviting people to come over to hang out or go to a movie or whatever when they were in there early teens. They said that no one would ever commit to anything . . . they were always waiting for a more fun, more exciting, cooler opportunity. And as a result most of these teens sat around doing nothing but check their social media all weekend - sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 That's bizarre. That kind of stuff drives me nuts. I chalk it up to having major mental issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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