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Parents of Upperclassmen...Updates?


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#1 J-rap

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Posted 08 September 2017 - 09:43 AM

We have the Parents of Freshmen thread going, and I thought it would be interesting to have a Parents of Upperclassmen thread too!

 

My current college student is a senior, and moved in last week.  She was worried about her living situation because her previous roommates (and best friends) graduated last year.  She waited too long to figure things out, so just ended up being placed in a room (an on-campus apartment with two bedrooms for four people) with three other students who she doesn't know.

 

Except that on move-in day, she arrived at her room to discover that two of the students had changed their plans, and she is now in a two-bedroom/four-person apartment with only one other person, and it turns out it's someone she knows after all, and enjoys very much.  So, now they each get their own private room (with no private room charge) and she is thrilled.   :)

 

She's happy about her classes, and finally feels more confident on campus.  (She's my introvert.)  She has developed a good relationship with one of her teachers who has really taken her under his wing too, which has been great.  That means a lot to her.  

 

She did text me this morning to say that she and her roommate discovered cockroaches in their apartment...

 

She is going to school in the same city that two of her older sisters live in as well, and her grandparents, and she has already gotten together with all of them during her first week!

 

 

 

 


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#2 regentrude

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Posted 08 September 2017 - 09:46 AM

My DD is a senior. He school is on the quarter system, and classes don't start for another two weeks. She just finished her internship late in August.


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#3 Margaret in CO

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Posted 08 September 2017 - 10:30 AM

My list will be long!

 

Oldest is trying to do the dissertation this year. Her dh just took the assoc conductor position at Ft. Worth Symphony so is gone one week every month. That's a good thing as dd can get some writing done. She has two more recitals to do this year, and is a TA again. She's also playing with various Baroque orchestras.

 

Next one is still in CA, flying her helo. She's still on non-deployable status, until the summer. He dh deploys this fall. She'll finish her master's at Christmas. 

 

Next one in school is a senior, and he'll graduate and Commission this spring. He'll then head to Alabama or Minnesota for the first training with the AF.

 

I'm trying to decide what to take this fall--I'd like to get started on my "6 credits in 5 years" gig to renew my teaching license. 


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#4 MysteryJen

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Posted 08 September 2017 - 11:01 AM

My ds1 is back at school for his senior year. He had a pretty big bump in the road last spring (diagnosed bi-polar) but has so far risen to the challenge. He has completed most of his incompletes from last spring, has his psych/meds/blood testing/counseling stuff set up and so far so good. He is definitely happier and more confident on the meds, so that is good. We are just hoping that everything goes smoothly this year, not worrying about grades, just crossing our fingers for graduation.

 

My dd1 is at back for her sophomore year. She had a great experience studying in Kyoto last summer and enjoyed her longest break from swimming since she was 7 years old. She is back, living off campus with teammates, and so far so good. She loves her classes and is trying to enjoy the team. She had a disasterous year, swimming-wise, last year. Almost the worst year ever, so she changed coaches, groups, and is trying to find her swimming groove again. She would like to be faster this year and maintain her 4.0. Hopefully at least one of those things will happen.


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#5 J-rap

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Posted 08 September 2017 - 11:08 AM

My ds1 is back at school for his senior year. He had a pretty big bump in the road last spring (diagnosed bi-polar) but has so far risen to the challenge. He has completed most of his incompletes from last spring, has his psych/meds/blood testing/counseling stuff set up and so far so good. He is definitely happier and more confident on the meds, so that is good. We are just hoping that everything goes smoothly this year, not worrying about grades, just crossing our fingers for graduation.

 

My dd1 is at back for her sophomore year. She had a great experience studying in Kyoto last summer and enjoyed her longest break from swimming since she was 7 years old. She is back, living off campus with teammates, and so far so good. She loves her classes and is trying to enjoy the team. She had a disasterous year, swimming-wise, last year. Almost the worst year ever, so she changed coaches, groups, and is trying to find her swimming groove again. She would like to be faster this year and maintain her 4.0. Hopefully at least one of those things will happen.

 

I'm so glad your ds is doing better!  I hope he has a great last year.


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#6 Gwen in VA

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Posted 08 September 2017 - 11:29 AM

My youngest is in her senior year as a music major at an arts school. This means there are few extra-curriculars and almost all campus life is centered around your major. (BTW, I can't say enough good about the school, but it is a different type of college experience!)

 

She lives off-campus and has a job off campus as a church organist, so her "real" life is relatively separate from campus. This semester all her classes are in her major, so basically she is doing a bit of homework and practicing a LOT! In her spare time she participates in a few community (non-college) activities. At this point most of her friends in the area are NOT college students, which is different and neat!

 

She is trying to figure out her plans for life after graduation. Thankfully she has many people who have offered to mentor/advise her, so she is having lots of email exchanges and dinners with mentors as she tries to narrow her options.


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#7 Momto2Ns

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Posted 08 September 2017 - 11:34 AM

My oldest is a junior this year and he recently told me this is his best semester ever. He did another major change (he's always kept one but played with his second major and his minor) right before the semester started and made some last minute schedule changes as a result, but it's been a good thing. He also moved into an apartment for the first time and that has been very positive too. He's had groups of friends over a couple of times and really feels at home there in a way I don't think he ever did in the dorms. He is my ASD guy and small steps are big for him, so this has been some great progress for him.

 

My dd is a sophomore this year and just turned in her nursing school application yesterday. Nursing school is a separate application process and she will find out if she is accepted between Thanksgiving and Christmas sometime. She's done really well in her time on campus and has some CC credits to throw in to beef up her application, so we're hopeful, but it is very competitive and there are no guarantees. She too moved into an apartment this year and she's enjoying cooking for her boyfriend and also seems much more at home in the new living arrangements than she did in the dorm. 

 

It has been a pleasure for me to see how confident they have both become in their own environments. 

 

 


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#8 8FillTheHeart

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Posted 08 September 2017 - 12:08 PM

Ds is a sr. He is in high gear for grad school applications (well more like grad scholarship type programs at this pt). He loves his classes this semester. Several of his classes are independent study and he is enjoying meeting with his professors 1-on-1.

I have no idea where he will end up next fall. Know what?? I am thrilled I am completely removed from the entire process!

Edited by 8FillTheHeart, 08 September 2017 - 12:19 PM.

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#9 G5052

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Posted 08 September 2017 - 12:53 PM

Mine is a commuting junior. He's finding that his days are very busy with driving, classes, homework, working out, and working at the local gym.

 

He likes all but one of his classes, and he likes the food there.  :hurray:


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#10 Gr8lander

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Posted 08 September 2017 - 02:54 PM

My oldest graduated in the spring. You may or may not remember that her college years were marked with unbelievable drama because of her health issues, so the fact that she got through in four years (in part thanks to credit from dual enrollment in high school) is fairly amazing. She got married to her high school sweetheart recently and has taken an Americorps position working with refugees. She continues in therapy and really is doing very well after lots of hard work on the part of many!

 

My 2016 grad is going into her sophomore year and is leading a freshman orientation backpacking trip this week. She had an exceptionally successful first year academically, but has struggled with low-level depression (darn genetics.) She finally decided to seek help midway through the summer and the difference on a low level of medication is tremendous. She is actually experiencing joy and excitement, which does a mother's heart good. She and her friends opted for a group of single rooms next to each other in the dorm, which is the best of all worlds as far as living situations. Classes start there later next week.


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#11 transientChris

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Posted 08 September 2017 - 04:58 PM

My middle graduated last December and was working receptionist type jobs before she got a real job. She got a real job offer in April but as with everything to do with the government, the wait for a clearance just started then. A few weeks ago, she was called by the company and told that they want her to start in a job sometime between September 11 and September 30th. She is moving here to our home this coming Monday and starting work on Wednesday. The plan is for her husband to move here in the first week of October and he will be looking for a job here. I am getting both her and multiple additional pets here on Monday.

My youngest has (probably) just got back from spring break. She was with friends touring the South Island, got extremely sick and was hospitalized, and was released yesterday so probably back in Wellington, NZ for her second half of spring semester -junior year. It is funny since she will also have a spring semester here in the states in 2018 of her junior year too- so two spring semesters and no fall one. I still have to find out what happened exactly with her but I suspect a very bad sinus infection. (they were suspecting meningitis but she was negative for that however, antibiotics almost completely relieved her symptoms of severe headache, high fever, vomiting, confusion, etc) I know that last spring during exam time she had such a severe sinus infection that she was almost passing out and was unable to drive home nor take her last final. Her brother and his friend had to drive together to get her and drive her car home too. Then she had to come back several weeks later and get her car/ I am now thinking that I will need to be making another appointment with her ENT (she had a tonsillectomy after her freshman year and stopped having tonsil problems) to investigate why she is she getting such severe sinus infections.
She is due home on November 19th. She really is enjoying her time in New Zealand and is working hard in school.
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#12 Heigh Ho

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Posted 08 September 2017 - 07:59 PM

My older graduated in May. He and a bud landed in the same industry so are enjoying all the learning. I helped apt hunt. Professional slumlords in that area. Never thought I would see avacado appliances again in my lifetime, but they are still going strong. Too bad he isn't a senior citizen, plenty of new complexes for them. He couldn't get into housng for not so low income as the housing for his bracket won't be built until next year. In his commute radius, every non-complex apt was snapped up within a day of going on the market, except those that were priced about 200 a month higher than comparables. He will be couch surfing for a few months until his apt is available.

Younger has started his junior year. Very happy to open the door to his apt and find the carpeting had been removed and replaced with easy to clean flooring. My wallet appreciates that too as dust is an allergy trigger for him. He is a busy guy. I expect this semester to go quickly.
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#13 J-rap

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Posted 08 September 2017 - 08:14 PM

My middle graduated last December and was working receptionist type jobs before she got a real job. She got a real job offer in April but as with everything to do with the government, the wait for a clearance just started then. A few weeks ago, she was called by the company and told that they want her to start in a job sometime between September 11 and September 30th. She is moving here to our home this coming Monday and starting work on Wednesday. The plan is for her husband to move here in the first week of October and he will be looking for a job here. I am getting both her and multiple additional pets here on Monday.

My youngest has (probably) just got back from spring break. She was with friends touring the South Island, got extremely sick and was hospitalized, and was released yesterday so probably back in Wellington, NZ for her second half of spring semester -junior year. It is funny since she will also have a spring semester here in the states in 2018 of her junior year too- so two spring semesters and no fall one. I still have to find out what happened exactly with her but I suspect a very bad sinus infection. (they were suspecting meningitis but she was negative for that however, antibiotics almost completely relieved her symptoms of severe headache, high fever, vomiting, confusion, etc) I know that last spring during exam time she had such a severe sinus infection that she was almost passing out and was unable to drive home nor take her last final. Her brother and his friend had to drive together to get her and drive her car home too. Then she had to come back several weeks later and get her car/ I am now thinking that I will need to be making another appointment with her ENT (she had a tonsillectomy after her freshman year and stopped having tonsil problems) to investigate why she is she getting such severe sinus infections.
She is due home on November 19th. She really is enjoying her time in New Zealand and is working hard in school.

 

I'm glad your dd is out of the hospital and feeling better!


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#14 Matryoshka

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Posted 08 September 2017 - 09:51 PM

Dds are sophomores this year, though one has enough credits from DE to have junior standing.

 

One spent the summer doing a research coop in Robotics.  She's been offered a job at the Robotics lab for the school year, too. (yay!)  She's in the honors dorm for upperclassmen, and likes her roommate (friend from last year) and the rest of her suitemates also seem nice enough.  School just started this week, so she's only had each class once.  The Assembly class has an awful prof (pages of negative reviews), but he's the only one who teaches it, so she's just planning on self-study, study groups, and dh, who loved Assembly and is happy to help.  She just added a one-credit seminar to prepare for a professional coop, which she's thinking she'll do starting next summer (coops there are usually a summer + a semester).

 

Other dd just spent the summer in Spain (Barcelona).  She transferred this fall to the state flagship, and it's already apparent it's a much better fit than her old school, which was a regional State U that had mostly local kids who hadn't seen a lot of the world.  She's in the foreign language dorm with lots of language-lovers and foreign students.  She really likes her roommate, so that's a big relief since the one last year wasn't so great.  She's in a first floor corner in a renovated much older dorm that has real closets! There's also a dorm-based seminar in Spanish.  She switched her major to Linguistics/Philosophy (an interdisciplinary major) and loves all her classes so far.  She's also taking an intensive in Catalan, which is ending up to be really easy after self-study and a summer in Barcelona.  She's still dealing with health issues, but she's somehow managed to build herself a great schedule where she's got the bulk of her classes T/Th 10-2; M/W she doesn't have class till 4pm, and Fridays she has free.  So that gives her time to go to her specialist PT (1.5 hrs each way now, going to try using ZipCar for that this year), and come home for specialist dr appointments.


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#15 elegantlion

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Posted 09 September 2017 - 12:10 AM

Ds is in his 3rd year, technically still a sophomore this semester I think. He only has to go to campus 3x/week, which he loves. He's doing two classes for his major/minor and two for general studies, including the class I do supplemental instructor for. He spent his summer doing math research. He's currently planning spring classes (3 math classes!). We've had some issues with his dad to deal with and I'm very proud of the manner in which he has handled his role, very adult and compassionate with proper boundaries. 

 

As for me, I graduate in May and am currently working on graduate school applications. I'm interning at a local museum and am president of our history club on campus. I finished my honor's project this summer and am working toward submitting the paper for publication. My favorite classes are Latin, where we are reading medieval chronicles this year, and an honor's class on Space Cowboys - yeah, we're watching westerns and sci-fi for credit. 


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#16 Jenny in Florida

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Posted 09 September 2017 - 08:01 AM

My son is enrolled for "one more semester" at the community college. He's been taking the scenic route to a B.A., having done two years at a private university before deciding he wasn't happy with either the school or the majors he was pursuing there, then moving home where  he planned to take one year to finish up an associate's before transferring to the big state university. Long story kind of short, he got very busy juggling part-time jobs and assorted side projects and an engrossing personal life and kind of didn't get around to taking the last three classes necessary for the associate's or filing the paperwork to transfer this fall. So, here we are.

 

Assuming that the fall-out from Irma and/or Jose doesn't knock too much off kilter, though, this should be a good semester for him. He's taking four classes -- the three he needs to finally finish the associate's plus one as a "transient" at the university that will fulfill a requirement for his chosen minor over there -- but two are online. He managed to schedule the two classes that do require him to be on campus on the same two days, which simplifies his calendar considerably.

 

He's keeping his regular part-time job, the hours for which are erratic. He's also part of the cast for a local theatre troupe that rehearses four nights a week and has a busy performance schedule from about the middle of this month through the end of December. (For those who are curious, it's this group: https://www.facebook...62225850532828/ )  Because his class and rehearsal/performance schedules are known quantities, he has been able to expand his availability at the theme park, which he hopes will net him more hours there.

 

Thus far, it looks like all of his ducks are in a row to graduate with the associate's at the end of this December and then transfer to the state university in the spring. Obviously, nothing is certain until he actually sits down with an advisor over there and goes through his records, but I've combed through his transcripts pretty thoroughly and compared them with the requirements, and I feel pretty sure that, if he is thoughtful (and lucky) with course selection and scheduling, he should be able to complete the B.A. in two more semesters or two plus the summer.

 

He's ready to be done, but determined to push through to the bachelor's after having invested this much time and effort into college already.


Edited by Jenny in Florida, 09 September 2017 - 08:04 AM.

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#17 teachermom2834

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Posted 09 September 2017 - 08:12 AM

My ds is back for his sophomore year. His randomly assigned roommate last year was perfect and they were best friends and signed up to room together again (in a suite with two other teammates). His roommate ended up not returning which was sad but he was able to move another teammate in the same situation into his room so that worked out well and they get along fine.

He was excited to get back on campus without all the unknowns of freshman year. He is dating someone he met last year and rushing a fraternity and keeping up with baseball. He is pursuing internships for next summer and doing all kinds of career related clubs, panels, etc. He is serving on the alumni relations board again and interviewed for an internship for this fall. I frequently ask if he is remembering he is actually supposed to be going to school and he assures me he is. He changed his major but it is in the same general field and won't set him back any.

We don't hear from him as much but he is good about texting enough that we know he is ok. I noticed that the texts have changed from "what do you think about changing my major?" To "hey. I changed my major" and "should I apply for this internship?" to "I have an interview tomorrow." I like that.

Oh- and they are bracing for impact from Irma even in Atlanta. They expect to lose power. They sent out emergency plans and procedures yesterday afternoon. I feel like he will be safe but I will be glad when it is over. Not letting myself fret over it though when so many people are in much more precarious situations.
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#18 Mabelen

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Posted 11 September 2017 - 08:31 AM

My daughter is a rising college senior. She had plans for the summer that were put on the back burner to deal with health issues. She is doing better now although the issues are still ongoing, but under control right now. She could graduate in December but she is planning to take a reduced load and focus on her health and on bringing her gpa up with an eye to apply to grad school in a year. After graduation she is planning to work to save up for grad school, volunteer in an area that will strengthen her grad school application, and apply to the several programs in our area so she can attend while living at home. I am happy that she has found direction and delighted at the prospect of having her back home soon.
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#19 Kinsa

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Posted 11 September 2017 - 09:22 AM

DS#1 (SR) took a position as a grader for the thermodynamics professor. He is working on his senior design project, which is to design a wheelchair for... Rwanda?... I think it was? He is living in an apartment this year.

DS#2 (SR) is doing two independent study classes this semester. Just went to Chicago last weekend, just for the heck of it.

DS#3 (SO) took a part-time job as a ticket collector at the school sporting events. He's taking two honors courses this semester, so he's pretty busy. He also just got his ears pierced. Sigh.

DS#4 (DE) is getting into the swing of this college stuff... oh wait, he's not an upperclassman, so nevermind!
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#20 Dotwithaperiod

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Posted 11 September 2017 - 12:14 PM

DS is beginning his first year of grad school, on the PhD track. He said he likes all the people in his group, though they appear much older than him.
He has an apartment downtown, and having lived in small town/rural areas his whole life, thinks being in the heart of the city is both cool and a bit scary.
At the moment he has only a bed, table, and recliner. He claims he'll get a couch with his next pay check. Once he does, he's invited me to spend the weekend; we plan to catch the train to Boston and spend all day walking around.
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#21 anne1456

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Posted 11 September 2017 - 12:39 PM

My middle daughter has 9 credits left to finish her BSRN. She really, really wanted to finish this semester, but since she is also working full time as an RN we convinced her to spread the credits out and she will graduate in May. After she graduates she is planning to go down to part-time work and start a nurse practitioner program right away, so I guess she will be applying for those soon.

 

My oldest daughter finally got a full time zookeeping job this summer. She has been doing lots of seasonal and contract work since she graduated, since zookeeping is hard to break into. She makes minimum wage, but she loves it.


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#22 snowbeltmom

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Posted 11 September 2017 - 12:53 PM

DS is beginning his junior year.  His semester just started last week, but he went back a couple of weeks early to help get his frat house ready for rush.  He was named captain of his Varsity tennis team and is busy with that along with IM football and basketball.  In addition to his course work, he is also conducting research with two professors.  We are meeting up with him and our college freshman in Vermont at the end of the month as both of their teams are competing in the same event.  I am counting down the days.


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#23 Scoutermom

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Posted 11 September 2017 - 07:55 PM

Ds is back at his school and, well, TBH, I wish he hadn't gone back. It's simply not a good fit socially and he's lonely. I tried to tell him it was okay with me if he looked at other schools to transfer to but he declined due to his full tuition scholarship. He says he'll stick it out through graduation and I applaud his efforts. I do worry, however, that not having a tribe will have long lasting effects. He didn't have a moving group again this year and moved as a single. He's in a suite with one other person, a senior who just returned from studying abroad and who was unable to live in senior housing. Since DS chose not to be in a fraternity he is extremely limited with his social groups. He simply doesn't have anyone to socialize with outside of classes or work. It breaks my heart. I want to turn back the clock to his senior year of high school and do a repeat of the last three years.  :(


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#24 plansrme

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Posted 11 September 2017 - 08:25 PM

My senior is graduating in the spring, so she is busy filling out apps for fellowships and Ph.D. programs.  She took the GRE a couple of weeks ago and has been finishing up a bunch of research projects so she can get as many as possible submitted before apps are due.  A professor is nominating her for a national-level math award, and although my daughter's part in that is minimal, between fellowship and grad school apps and this award, her LOR writers are getting a workout.  I've thought many times that I need to send the math department some cookies, maybe a tray of chicken nuggets, for their support.  She is also a T.A. for an upper-level undergraduate math class, which means she has office hours--and that cracks me up, because how many 19 yo's have office hours???  And yes, she says students come to her office hours.  Personally, she is living with three other graduating seniors in an on-campus apartment, and that seems to be going well.  I keep envisioning them all in their caps and gown in a few months.  Senior year of college is such an exciting time!


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#25 JanOH

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Posted 12 September 2017 - 06:10 AM

My only current college student is a sophomore and is trying to reform his bad study habits from his freshman year  - LOL!  He was totally embarrassed when he had to pay for the difference on our auto insurance when he lost the good student discount last semester.  His grades weren't bad, just not quite as good as they could have been.  He is commuting but I've been pleased to see him getting involved more and more on campus which can be a challenge at a predominately residential college.  He's declared a major, IT-management so I'm waiting to see how that goes.  He's continuing his job in the tech department for the second year and is very involved in the sport of disc golf - not an "official" college sport but he's doing many tournaments and intramurals.  I've been enjoying watching him find a "group" of his own and, unless you have a commuter you may not understand this, but it does my heart good when he heads back out the door in the evenings to attend some event or when he forgets to tell me he won't be home until late.  I like that he has his 'own life' and is finding his way even though he's still living here.


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#26 lmrich

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Posted 12 September 2017 - 07:00 AM

My son transferred and is living at home this semester. He had a rough year and took some time off last year. 

 

Adjusting to living at home has been a challenge for him, but we give him lots of space. His classes seem easy, especially to where he was before. Next semester he will  be able to take more classes in his major which should provide a challenge. He has an odd schedule - no classes on Tuesday and lab on Fridays until 4:00. He is working three nights a week and tutors so he is happy to have money. He joined an outdoor club at his school and went camping this weekend and plans to go again next weekend. So we are hopeful that he will find his people and be active on campus soon. 


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#27 teachermom2834

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Posted 13 September 2017 - 07:03 AM

Scoutermom- that is so sad. I have been reading your comments about your son and his school choice all along and I am so sorry. Most kids end up happy where they are or transfer. Four years is a long long time to be lonely. I know he has a full scholarship to a prestigious school so it is hard to leave.

It is a cautionary tale of how a school can just be a bad fit. I am sure it is hard for your mama's heart.
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#28 J-rap

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Posted 13 September 2017 - 09:33 AM

Ds is back at his school and, well, TBH, I wish he hadn't gone back. It's simply not a good fit socially and he's lonely. I tried to tell him it was okay with me if he looked at other schools to transfer to but he declined due to his full tuition scholarship. He says he'll stick it out through graduation and I applaud his efforts. I do worry, however, that not having a tribe will have long lasting effects. He didn't have a moving group again this year and moved as a single. He's in a suite with one other person, a senior who just returned from studying abroad and who was unable to live in senior housing. Since DS chose not to be in a fraternity he is extremely limited with his social groups. He simply doesn't have anyone to socialize with outside of classes or work. It breaks my heart. I want to turn back the clock to his senior year of high school and do a repeat of the last three years.   :(

 

Scoutermom, I'm really sorry that your ds is unhappy where he's at.  As parents we all want so much for our children to have that perfect experience at college!  I think in reality, most kids just kind of get along anywhere (whether the fit is good or not), while a smaller number of kids will have a harder time anywhere unless the school is just right.  (I have kids of both varieties!)  And what are the chances of finding that "just right" school?  Probably we don't even know what it is exactly.  We all do the best we can given our circumstances at the time.  So, try not to beat yourself up too much about it.

 

Your ds reminds me a little of one of my dd's.  She's an introvert and has some social anxiety, plus is a real homebody.  But, she's off at college and there you go.  College is fine, she likes her classes, but she is rather lonely.  She is a senior now and never found her group there.  But, she has found her most enjoyable college experiences in things off campus and not related to college at all.  She volunteers once/week at a hospital across the street and loves that.  She works every November-December as a holiday worker at a big department store and finds that fun.  She often spends weekends with her grandparents who live nearby.  We plan things together as a family on her fall and spring breaks.  In the summers, she has mostly been working as a camp counselor in different places, where she has a chance to meet other young people her age who are a better fit with her interests.  Things like that.

 

Can you help your ds find things outside of school that he would enjoy?  I know that since my dd has found other opportunities off campus that she enjoys, her attitude about being on-campus has improved too.  

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

ETA:  I know you weren't asking for advice or anything, so I hope you don't mind my jumping in.  It's just that I can relate!


Edited by J-rap, 13 September 2017 - 09:34 AM.

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#29 Momto2Ns

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Posted 13 September 2017 - 12:36 PM

Scoutermom - I wasn't able to like your post because it made me so sad, mostly because I can relate!

 

Ds hasn't really found a tribe either. He likes the people he is in classes with, but is living in a studio apartment and doesn't have anyone on campus he would really call a friend or that he could snag to do things with. He is a junior this year, and in spite of the loneliness, he still likes his school and his professors and is happy where he is. I think it may be harder on me than it is on him. For him, online community has filled a lot of those social needs that I expected to be filled by his college tribe. It isn't what I would have hoped for, but it is working for him. I hope your ds finds a way to make it work too.


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#30 Hoggirl

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Posted 15 September 2017 - 08:28 AM

Ds will be a senior with classes starting on Sept 25th. The "friend group" is a group of seven guys. One is in a fraternity house this year, and the other six are paired as roomates and living in different non-fraternity houses on campus in an area known as The Row. Ds and his roommate got a great house with a great location in the housing draw. Still dorm-like in the sleeping quarters but a more homey feel overall. The houses each have chefs so the meal plan is different.

His summer internship went well, and he received a return offer, so he knows where he will be working after graduation. He's been home for about ten days with six more to go. He had to have a dental procedure which (thankfully) wound up not being as extensive/invasive as we thought it would be. Still, being on a soft food diet hasn't been the most fun. Visiting his grandparents this weekend.

We have seen a lot of him this break. Being on quarters when everyone else is on semesters means that even those who are attending the local U are already very busy with class work. This weekend would have been a great time for him to catch up with the those who are here (last weekend not so much because of recovery from the dental thing) but grandparent trip will curtail that a bit. We are stopping by a campus in between here and the grandparents' house on the way back Sunday to see a good high school buddy. Hoping he can catch up with a couple of others early next week after stitches come out but before he returns to school. I'm sure we will see far less of him Christmas break when they are more or less all home at the same time from their various schools.
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#31 WendyAndMilo

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Posted 15 September 2017 - 06:53 PM

This is my sophomore year, although credit-wise, it's the tail end of my junior year. I've got four more years after this one.  This is the first semester with two classes in my new major.  Both of the classes build on each other and coordinate projects and whatnot.  The first day of class, the dept chair (who teaches one class) said that this one class (not the other one added to it) will have the same amount of homework as a PT-3/4 time job so no one should be working outside jobs, etc.  I'm thinking "I homeschool, I parent, I work PT, I've got 5 classes..." So the first two weeks I felt like I was barely treading water.  On top of that, the teacher found out I had previous experience in this area and gave me extra work.  Sigh.  I think I've finally gotten into a groove, balancing all the homework.  Although I did miss an assignment for a different class while I was working on this last project for this one class.  

I know all 4 students in my Arabic class from last semester; one of them has taken me into her confidence and told me all about her Tindr fiasco with our new language lab tutor...and it's all I can do to keep a straight face. Kill me now.  I'm taking an ethics & refugees class with my Bosnian professor from last semester and thankfully he's using the layout and time frames for this class as last class.  I am actually doing well in Trig.  Seriously, it's amazing what a difference 15 years makes.  My first video game is due the end of October and my first short film is due the beginning of December.  Joy.

 

I am, however, rethinking my ability to keep going with two major and two minors because the workload for this major will only get worse.

My schedule is quite nice...at least there's that :)

Homeschooling DS is going well, but we've stripped it down to the basics of math, english, history, science, computer science and french.  I have learned how to do homework during his music lessons and gymnastics classes so that's nice.


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#32 Myra

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Posted 18 September 2017 - 09:45 AM

I would like to thank the moms that posted honestly about their college kids not finding their "tribe" in college. 

 

Of my two sons, the youngest is a senior in college and "living the life" (as I quote him).  He is doing the college experience with friends, fun times, studying(?) - just enjoying himself. 

 

But my eldest is an introvert and starting his graduate school coursework about 6 hours from home at large state university  He was lonely throughout his undergraduate experience at a small college, and it seems that it is the same so far. We will see. 

 

Oh well.

 


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#33 Janice in NJ

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Posted 18 September 2017 - 09:48 AM

Good Morning to All!

 

I haven't been around in a while, but when I saw this post, I thought I would share.

 

Older DS (24): Happily working. Audio Engineer. MLB (Major League Baseball Network), NLH (Hockey Network), CNBC, and most recently with NBC Sports. He's officially a freelancer but works consistently. Won an Emmy this spring for his work on the World Series. For fun he recently purchased a street-legal dirt bike and has dropped himself into that culture. So right now that's what he's all about. He works to ride. 

 

DD (22): Just started what she is calling her first professional job. Nurse at the big hospital system in our area. She was so happy to be offered a position in their new nurse graduate program. This means she will have the opportunity to work in several departments for the first 12 weeks before she settles in. The program offers her oversight, training, and feedback during this transition from school to work - something she really wanted. We couldn't be happier for her. All along this was Plan A, and everything worked out. 

 

Younger DS (20): College senior (went a year ahead of schedule). Also an Organ Performance Major (Hi Gwen! :001_smile:) He's planning to apply to grad school. For this year: as Gwen mentioned, college can be a bit odd for students in the arts. He's taking classes in his major, and the coursework certainly supports what he is doing outside of class. But the work he does outside of class dwarfs the coursework - both in time spent and in importance. I honestly don't know how he gets it all done. Yes, it's important to get good grades, and he does. But he has to figure out how to do that while actually focusing elsewhere. Hmmm... I wonder about making a new thread. What is life really like for a college student majoring in _____: things I wish I had known. Anyway.. digressing. Loves what he does and he is doing well. 

 

Happy Times All Around!  

 

Peace,

Janice in NJ

 

Enjoy your little people

Enjoy your journey


Edited by Janice in NJ, 18 September 2017 - 09:51 AM.

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#34 Melissa M

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Posted 18 September 2017 - 10:23 AM

My daughters, 19 and 21, are both seniors now. In fact, the older daughter is at her senior portrait appointment as I type this. Her major is psychology, but she also studies organ as a non-music major. Her sister's major is physics (minor, math). Both are in the honors program, and both were retained by their research groups through the summer and for this academic year. The psych major contributes to a lab that researches, among other things, the cognitive benefits of leisure and lifelong learning in aging populations. The physics major works with a high-energy physics group that collaborates on the ATLAS Experiment at CERN.

The physics major earned a merit scholarship for her German studies, which was an unexpected and delightful surprise, so we will attend a celebration at the university later this fall. She was also awarded a CA/TA position in computer science.
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#35 8FillTheHeart

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Posted 18 September 2017 - 10:38 AM

Ds just found out that he received his university's nomination for 2 elite grad program scholarships, so now he moves on to the formal application phase.  This school does not have a good track record with these programs (like 3 total in 60 yrs or something like that.)  So these are extreme long shots. But, I am proud that his university endorsed him.  :)


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#36 regentrude

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Posted 18 September 2017 - 10:45 AM

Ds just found out that he received his university's nomination for 2 elite grad program scholarships, so now he moves on to the formal application phase.  This school does not have a good track record with these programs (like 3 total in 60 yrs or something like that.)  So these are extreme long shots. But, I am proud that his university endorsed him.   :)

 

Good luck to him. What do the scholarships entail? Is it about access to the program, or about money?



#37 8FillTheHeart

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Posted 18 September 2017 - 11:42 AM

Good luck to him. What do the scholarships entail? Is it about access to the program, or about money?


All I really understand is that they are prestigious international fellowships. I am staying 100% removed from his grad school apps. I just listen when he calls. :) He simply told me that the committee contacted him after his initial application and interview and told him they were excited about nominating/endorsing (can't remember his exact wording) him as the university's candidate.
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#38 creekland

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Posted 18 September 2017 - 12:58 PM

This is the latest update from my youngest - a current college senior doing a Study Abroad in Jordan - and absolutely loving it.

 

 

 

Middle son has started med school and is loving that too.  It's hands on pretty darn quickly with med school!


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#39 Ms Brooks

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Posted 24 September 2017 - 05:28 PM

DD flew back to the UK a few weeks back to start her junior year. She had a terrific summer internship which she may opt to continue with again next summer. She is also considering the option of graduate school.

 

Summer sun in SoCal was most welcome after months of cold grey skies in northern UK. Socially, she is blossoming after a lifetime at home in isolation--we live far from town and no friends in our community.


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#40 Heigh Ho

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Posted Today, 10:28 AM

Ds is back at his school and, well, TBH, I wish he hadn't gone back. It's simply not a good fit socially and he's lonely. I tried to tell him it was okay with me if he looked at other schools to transfer to but he declined due to his full tuition scholarship. He says he'll stick it out through graduation and I applaud his efforts. I do worry, however, that not having a tribe will have long lasting effects. He didn't have a moving group again this year and moved as a single. He's in a suite with one other person, a senior who just returned from studying abroad and who was unable to live in senior housing. Since DS chose not to be in a fraternity he is extremely limited with his social groups. He simply doesn't have anyone to socialize with outside of classes or work. It breaks my heart. I want to turn back the clock to his senior year of high school and do a repeat of the last three years.   :(

 

My college had a strong frat social scene too; the people who weren't interested started a club for Independents so they could have other students to socialize with.  maybe your son could do something like that.