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Does anybody not remember their childhood?


AimeeM
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Prior to about age 13, when I moved in with my father and stepmother (shortly after my mother and father divorced), I have only a bit more than a handful of memories. 

 

Otherwise, I've got nothing, really. I don't remember any holidays or birthdays. I know I was homeschooled from about first until fifth grade, but I remember absolutely nothing about it. I mean, if my siblings didn't tell me we were homeschooled at that time, I wouldn't know it.

 

My children ask me about my childhood and I haven't really any answers for them. My husband, on the other hand, can remember the first time he went potty! 

 

I can't be the only one with a crappy memory :p

Edited by AimeeM
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Apparently I have an excellent memory, or at least, that is what people tell me.  They say if they need to know something, they will ask me.  I told them I am going to start making stuff up!  :lol:

 

I do remember a lot, good and bad, and everything in-between.

 

But, I also remember only certain things.....not everything.

Edited by DawnM
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I remember a lot--in detail--from the time I was very young. My husband does not. This is an anecdotally based hypothesis based question: Do those who have dyslexia also have trouble remembering details from their childhoods? This thought occurred to me because the OP has mentioned her daughter has dyslexia. My husband may have mild undiagnosed dyslexia (he has some markers). Our ds who has dyslexia has big memory gaps from his childhood up till now. Just a rabbit trail my thoughts started running on...

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I remember a lot--in detail--from the time I was very young. My husband does not. This is an anecdotally based hypothesis based question: Do those who have dyslexia also have trouble remembering details from their childhoods? This thought occurred to me because the OP has mentioned her daughter has dyslexia. My husband may have mild undiagnosed dyslexia (he has some markers). Our ds who has dyslexia has big memory gaps from his childhood up till now. Just a rabbit trail my thoughts started running on...

My daughter is dyslexic, but I'm not. My father is dyslexic as well, but remembers his childhood well.

Edited by AimeeM
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I do remember some stuff back to about 2.  My parents let my younger brother open one of my gifts at my 5th birthday. CAN YOU IMAGINE!?  What horrible parents.  LOL.

 

But I've had a few occassions where someone from my child/teenager hood came up and said "Remember when blah blah blah ..." and I'm lost.  :lol:   I guess different things make impressions on different people. 

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I don't remember much before 12-13 but had some trauma thrown in around that time so it's not totally surprising.

 

But as I have re-addressed trauma issues in the last 2-3 years, I have had more memories that bubble up- and it feels like a grand accomplishment. Still not a lot of memories, but I have much more "free access" to retrieve memories. It's kind of neat.

 

I'm NOT implying that all people who can't remember childhood have trauma, more observing that our brains sometimes do what they want wiring wise.

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I can't remember much of my kids childhoods much less mine and my kids are just 10,9, and 6. My husband is also one who seems to remember everything. I feel bad when he says remember when dd2 did x and I'm looking at him blankly because I don't. I find it upsetting so I try not to dwell and just enjoy the present.

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I'm another with a poor memory of childhood memories (and frankly most memories).  I ask my sister when I need to know something about my childhood.  (I'm not dyslexic.  And, to the best of my admittedly poor memory, I had nothing catastrophic occur to me as a child.)

 

Regards,

Kareni

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I remember a lot.

 

Over a year ago one vacation, we went to a Japanese garden in California because I had vague memories of one near my uncle's house that I wanted my teens to see. The last time I was there, I was with both grandparents, so I couldn't have been more than 5 years old. And BOOM, it all came back to me when I was there. It hadn't changed at all!

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My memory is very fuzzy too. I know I had a childhood - there are pictures! :D But only a few "big" memories of certain special events. What I do know, is that it was pretty idyllic compared to many other people's experiences. No major traumas, or big life changes. My parents are still together and live in the same house I grew up in, grandparents were all around until I was 11-12ish before the first one passed, extended families all got along for the most part (there were probably minor disagreements) and all of us cousins grew up playing together, spending holidays together, etc.

 

I just have a terrible memory for details. Then and now! My poor kids ask me stuff about their childhood that I can't answer. My husband remembers what grade he learned certain things in, the name of the teacher, etc. all the way back to kindergarten. Not me. I couldn't tell you much of anything about my high school education, never mind elementary or junior high!

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My memories really begin when my brother was born. I was 4 1/2.

 

I have an excellent memory.....except when I don't. I remember a lot of details but then I can't tell you most of my teachers names....

 

One time I was in a car with my best friend and the man who became her husband,,,,I woke up to hear them discussing some detail about her life.....she said, " I can't remember, I will have to ask Scarlett". LOL.

 

A former co worker died suddenly. I had been really close to him back in the day.....but when he died I had been gone from that job for about 14 years. As I was floating in my pool reflecting on his life and feeling sad his phone number suddenly flashed before my eyes. I got out and called a friend who still works there and said 'is this his number? ' It was.

 

My memory is very much divided into groups. Before we moved to AR. After I got married. After ds was born. After my divorce.

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I remember so much, and continue to remember long-forgotten events if something triggers my memory. Im still telling DH and the kids stories they haven't heard. DH has maybe a dozen stories, and at this point I think he just remembers himself telling them! He just cannot remember being a small child and barely has anything from his middle school years. It's bazaar.

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I don't remember much about my childhood but I have an excellent memory otherwise. The only thing I can attribute it to is that our home life was very stressful and painful. I'm a sensitive soul and I think I blocked it out. I'm super sensitive to other people's feelings and emotions and tend to feel them right along with them. I have to completely shut down and block things out or I'm a basket case. I just assume I shut everything out because it was so fraught. I do remember some things here and there but not a lot.

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I have only a few memories of when I was 3 or younger but lots of memories from about 4 and onward.  I certainly don't remember everything.  I do remember once mentioning to my mother that memories were weird - what we remembered and what we forgot. I was probably about 7 or 8 at the time.  :laugh:

 

Edited to add: I'm wondering if having clear time delineations during your life helps you remember.  I know which memories were when I was 3 or younger and which ones were between ages 3 and 6, etc. because of when my family moved. If you lived your whole life in the same place, I wonder if it would be tough to differentiate your memories. . .they would just tend to blur together.

Edited by Pegasus
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Mine is extremely hazy. I've always thought that was odd too, I didn't have much discernible trauma but there was a lot of low grade familial stress from divorce and older siblings and such.

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Childhood amnesia is perfectly normal. We're not sure why some people have memories dating back to age 2 or 3 and others don't have any prior to age 7 or 8 - or even 11 or 12! - but the lack of early memories definitely does not point to trauma or anything like that.

 

We do know that if you talk about early childhood experiences with your kids, they're more likely to retain early memories. It's not a sure thing, though.

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I remember virtually nothing from before 7th grade or so (not dyslexic). My husband remembers everything. I have a terrible long-term memory, and though it has improved with age, it's still not great.

 

Those articles people share all the time about putting down the camera and how we all take too many pictures and should enjoy the moment really annoy me. I take toooons of pictures. Because that is how I can remember my kids' earlier years. Looking thorough my bajillion Facebook albums brings up all the things they and we did - otherwise it would all be lost to me. Those pictures are my lifeline to everything I would forget, and they are worth more to me than just about everything I own. It sucks not to be able to remember those things. 

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I have only a few memories of when I was 3 or younger but lots of memories from about 4 and onward. I certainly don't remember everything. I do remember once mentioning to my mother that memories were weird - what we remembered and what we forgot. I was probably about 7 or 8 at the time. :laugh:

 

Edited to add: I'm wondering if having clear time delineations during your life helps you remember. I know which memories were when I was 3 or younger and which ones were between ages 3 and 6, etc. because of when my family moved. If you lived your whole life in the same place, I wonder if it would be tough to differentiate your memories. . .they would just tend to blur together.

I've wondered about this too--if moving builds more sure memories. In addition to knowing when something happened by where it happened there is the emotional impact of a move, and strong emotions do I think make memories more lasting.

 

We moved a lot growing up, and my siblings and I all have many childhood memories.

Edited by maize
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I have a lot of early childhood memories. My youngest memory is when I was still 1 and I have a few from age 2 too. From 3 on I have decent memories with a few holes that were not really associated with anything bad. Some blend together and I am not sure of exact ages and others I know the age I was. I have less memories of high school especially related to time in school. I remember my elementary school teachers better then my high school teachers. High school was really rough for me.

Edited by MistyMountain
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One thing about my bad memory that I do notice is that when I *do* remember things, even though we alter memories with every remembering, is that they are pretty well "correct" to what has happened - corroborated by video/photo evidence.

 

This is from adulthood, where my memory frequently remains mostly fuzzy, but My Dad and sister were adamant they were right about a funny Christmas memory we were sharing a few months ago. About what the gift was inside the box that my DS made a funny comment about when he was 3 (he's 11 now). I KNEW I was right - because I bought and wrapped it! We had to dig out the old home movies to prove it, and I won the $100 bet with my sister - who is broke and will never actually pay me. :)

 

My brother, on the other hand, has a memory like an elephant. He can tell you exact streets he had to drive down to get to a destination 2000 miles away from home from a vacation he went on 10 years ago. Crazy. He's been on a lot of out-of-town trips since then!!

Edited by fraidycat
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I have some very strong flashes of memory and then some big gaps... I remember something that I know was from before more 3rd birthday based on where we were living but then my next memories must be around five. I remember my first day of school, learning to ride a bike (I was 5). I have less memories once I learned to read because I think my brain moved from processing things as pictures to processing things in words and verbally. I also remember the texture and pattern of a lot of things from when I was a kid which is odd.

 

I also have some really strong memories from travel that are still very vivid when we go to those same places. I have less memories of people's faces.

 

My DH seems to remember every person he ever met!

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I have VERY few memories of anything before about 11 years old. Just a few snapshot style memories. The few are rather mundane, as well, not birthdays or big events. 

 

Even after age 11, my memories are shoddy. Sometimes DH will even mention a date we went on or something and I have no memory of it at all. I often can't remember if I've seen a movie, let alone anything about it. Once I finished a book before realizing I had read it before. And I only discovered it because I "guessed" the ending from early on and when it was spot on I went searching my goodreads account and found I had read it only 3 years prior. 

 

I take a LOT of pictures of my kids. I find that taking the pic and looking at it again later that day can help me retain a bit more memory of things. And then I can also connect with it later when I see the pic. Really without a lot of pics I'm not sure how much of my own kids' childhoods I would remember by the time they're grown. 

 

ETA: I went back and read through the thread: No dyslexia. We moved frequently enough to have provided time-reference points. I do have trauma in my past. Particularly around 10-12, but I have reason to believe there may have been a lot from early childhood that I, obviously, don't recall. 

Edited by Whovian10
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I definitely remember one event at 6.5 months, one ar 10.5 months, and lots and lots of things after about 1.5 years.  Dh remembers events from when he was 1.5 too.  My oldest and youngest have great memories too. Middle has much fewer and later memories- a lot was lost when she had her seizures. But she still remembers many things from when she was 3 or 4. All of us are ADHD and youngest who has a very very strong visual memory= like remembering layoout of hotel she visited at age 1 and 7 months, is also dyslexic.  I think the dyslexia helps her remember spaces well in particular.

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Not the only one at all, which is kinda nice. I sometimes get uncomfortable with how much less I seem to remember than some of the people around me. Part of the reason I became half attached to my camera is how much I find those photos help me with it. 

 

Something I noticed recently is one of my earliest memories, which when I was younger I flashbacked to a lot, has significantly deteriorated. I know I used to remember it in full colour and what was said and it was a much longer memory, but now it's grainy and while in my head I can almost feel the vibrations of shouting and violence, I can't hear or remember the words any more. It's like an HD video turned into a badly damaged black and white silent film with some of the scenes blurry or burnt out. I know that event still has a significant effect on me but it's very hard to describe with how it now looks and feels in my head. 

 

There are a handful of events in my early childhood that I still have full clear memory, a rather odd mix from my point of view, but most has turned either into snapshots or sound files, to keep the metaphor going. There are a couple where that's quite frustrating - remembering an event but clueless as to what lead to it or the specifics of what happened after. For example, one I was injured - bleeding, but I don't know how and I don't know what happened after I asked a classmate to walk with me to the nurse's office, all before and after is entirely blank and the images themselves in my head are like in tunnel vision but the injury had nothing to do with my head. 

 

My oldest is 12 and he was nearly 7 when our housemate moved in. We had a conversation not long ago where he discussed how he doesn't remember before housemate being around. I found that interesting. 

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I've wondered about this too--if moving builds more sure memories. In addition to knowing when something happened by where it happened there is the emotional impact of a move, and strong emotions do I think make memories more lasting.

 

We moved a lot growing up, and my siblings and I all have many childhood memories.

 

I'm the counter example.  We moved many times during my childhood and adolescence, and I attended fifteen schools between kindergarten and twelfth grade.  My memory of those times is minimal.

 

My sister, as I mentioned above, has an excellent memory of our childhood.

 

My mother also has/had an excellent memory (she has dementia now); she tells of her memory of being born.

 

 

My DH seems to remember every person he ever met!

 

As does mine.  He has an excellent memory of faces (another thing I'm lacking) of people he's met but also of actors in movies.

 

Regards,

Kareni

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Some things I remember clear as day and the rest is kind of blank. I have clear memory from when I was a toddler of playing my toy piano. I have memories throughout childhood of various moments and holidays. Certainly not a cohesive chain of events. Memories of the time my friend and I ran away from home for 3 hours and how we were going to live on the big bag of Doritos and Tab. No one noticed we ran away.

I used to be able to tell you every teacher I had from Kindergarten through college. I can still remember the names of K-6 teachers. But only a handful from Junior High through college. To be honest, I only remember the name of one teacher from college. He made me cry.

Memory is a funny thing. Sometimes a smell will trigger a memory. The older I get the less I can remember non life impacting memories without incredible effort.

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I remember a lot--in detail--from the time I was very young. My husband does not. This is an anecdotally based hypothesis based question: Do those who have dyslexia also have trouble remembering details from their childhoods? This thought occurred to me because the OP has mentioned her daughter has dyslexia. My husband may have mild undiagnosed dyslexia (he has some markers). Our ds who has dyslexia has big memory gaps from his childhood up till now. Just a rabbit trail my thoughts started running on...

I don't think so. I have dyslexia and remember my childhood back to preschool and before. But, I know people who can't seem to remember anything before high school basically and they don't have learning disabilities. I know one guy who can vividly remember stuff from when he was two years old. 

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Some things I remember clear as day and the rest is kind of blank. I have clear memory from when I was a toddler of playing my toy piano. I have memories throughout childhood of various moments and holidays. Certainly not a cohesive chain of events. Memories of the time my friend and I ran away from home for 3 hours and how we were going to live on the big bag of Doritos and Tab. No one noticed we ran away.

I used to be able to tell you every teacher I had from Kindergarten through college. I can still remember the names of K-6 teachers. But only a handful from Junior High through college. To be honest, I only remember the name of one teacher from college. He made me cry.

Memory is a funny thing. Sometimes a smell will trigger a memory. The older I get the less I can remember non life impacting memories without incredible effort.

I had a green swim suit and this monkey that had cymbals and would clap them. I loved that monkey. I had a very real imaginary pet that was a crocodile and often lived under my bed. I was in love with the guard at the baby pool and would lay on my tummy and spin in the pool. I thought that was so fun. The guy was a 16 yrs old or so I guess and oh so sweet. He died of cancer a few years ago. My grandparents were friends with his parents. I remember a ton. 

 

Now I feel the need to go ask my older kids what they remember from their childhoods.

Edited by Janeway
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I remember quite a bit from childhood, I'm 50 now if that matters. I remember a handful of events that happened prior to age 3, we moved that year so they are house specific. Oddly, I have a few years before I was ten that I remember very little. I have glimpses of a couple of school events for first grade and that's it. I don't know of any real trauma that would have blocked it, just an odd blip. 

 

My mom is 80 and remembers things from my childhood that I don't. I have no doubt they're true, because when we discuss them it jogs my memory. 

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