I envy those of you who married a version of yourselves . . .

[KungFuPanda]

Don't get me wrong. The marriage is good. We agree on the stuff that matters. On the little things though, I sometimes think a Venn diagram of our common interests would be two distinct circles. (Even our kids are different from us and each other, so now we have 4 circles that overlap for food.)

 

Today's dilemma is flooring. I like so many things! I like ALL of the colors but the yellows. I like all of the styles except the ones with crisp, brand-new looking lines. What does DH like? The new-looking honey tones. He thinks the aged/reclaimed stuff looks "like a cabin" and that our exterior doesn't reflect this aesthetic. Our exterior is plain, boxy 60's architecture with no style outside unusually large (also boxy) windows. It's a blank slate if there ever was one.

 

It doesn't REALLY matter. We're talking vinyl planks, not some hard wood investment. DH even said to do whatever I wanted, but since I ASKED for his opinion he gave it to me. I think I'll go for a newer look in a paler cherry tone. Ugh. Why can't he just automatically like what I like?!?

[Arcadia]

My extended family is filled with opposites attract or complimentary pairs :lol: We don't even agree on food so family gatherings are like buffet spreads that have more choices than a commercial buffet. Comically we all like predominantly white interior walls for our homes with a few accent walls.

[Sneezyone]

DH and I don't really agree on decorating styles...at all...but I find that when I compromise with him and go with what he likes, it actually turns out better than what I originally planned, lol. I won't ever tell him that tho. :lol:

[Spryte]

DH and I don't really agree on decorating styles...at all...but I find that when I compromise with him and go with what he likes, it actually turns out better than what I originally planned, lol. I won't ever tell him that tho. :lol:

That made me laugh. My DH and I don't always agree at first, but the same thing happens here - the guy has a good eye. :)

[Carrie12345]

I am terrified of decorating. I don't feel like I have any talent for it, so I agonize over every small decision. And then dh disagrees with my decisions.  This is part of why I did almost nothing to my house for 12 years!  So I finally said "screw it" and painted the cabinets the way I've been wanting to for about a decade, which he thought was a terrible idea, and now he loves them almost as much as I do. Yay!

 

Now he seems to trust me on the very many decorating/renovating decisions that need to be made. Now I feel even more pressure than normal and am second guessing every one of the ideas I had!  :tongue_smilie:

[El...]

Yeah... we're Star Trek meets quilts over here.  I think he's letting me have my choice most of the time, as long as that choice is black.  :sneaky2: I keep adding accent colors.  We move a lot, and thankfully our dark/black furniture looks neutral in most houses!  

[SparklyUnicorn]

Well, I mean, it depends.  I married a version of myself, but I'm barely tolerable so... :laugh:

[Guest]

I hear you. I still refer to one of our most collosal fights in our 23 years as The Great Carpet Argument of 1997.

[Scarlett]

I hear you. I still refer to one of our most collosal fights in our 23 years as The Great Carpet Argument of 1997.

LOL

 

That is hilarious. Xh and I fought about every thing. Dh and I never fight about decorating.

[Pink and Green Mom]

I guess I'm lucky - my DH is color blind so he is given no say in decorating :lol:

[ondreeuh]

Star Trek and Quilts! That is kind of close to how it is here.

 

My husband really seriously wants to decorate the house in Godzilla and Elvis. Our new house has a den that he can pimp out with MST3K movie posters and his precious figurines, and I get the rest of the house. Unfortunately I am a decoration minimalist and have no style, so the house is pretty boring.

[Guest]

LOL

 

That is hilarious. Xh and I fought about every thing. Dh and I never fight about decorating.

Well, he built the two houses we've lived in. Most of the time, the one with a strong opinion gets to have it his or her way, because in most cases, the other person is neutral or not super committed to their idea. But we do sometimes have strongly-held, incompatible opinions. Then it becomes clear that we are both under the Zodiac sign of Aries. ðŸ˜

[Katy]

I appreciate that about my marriage almost every day.  I think when it comes to decorating decisions it helps that DH is a bit color blind and leaves all of it to me.

 

I'm just chiming in because you said your home was a midcentury one with large windows. Many homes like that lend themselves well to cottage style, which would fit your aesthetic, and I think you could look on HookedOnHouses.net/cottages and find some good examples of midcentury ranches done as cottage homes with rustic floors so you could convince DH to like what you like.  OTOH, your DH's choice might be a bit more timeless.  This rustic stuff has gotten SO trendy that when it goes out of style I figure it will look really dated.  Good vinyl might last 15-20 years before it starts to look really warn, which is likely to be well past the expiration date.

Edited August 16, 2017 by Katy

[rocassie]

I understand.  In general DH and I are pretty compatible, but when it comes to house projects - all bets are off.  Hence why to many house projects haven't even been started.  Good luck! :)

[Guest]

We have a reasonably compatible design aesthetic - he doesn't care! The only issue we run into is that I tend to like things that cost too much (put me in a store with no price tags and I'll always manage to love the most expensive item in there) but we manage :)

[Ravin]

Yeah... we're Star Trek meets quilts over here.  I think he's letting me have my choice most of the time, as long as that choice is black.  :sneaky2: I keep adding accent colors.  We move a lot, and thankfully our dark/black furniture looks neutral in most houses!  

 

Google "Star Trek meets quilts" and you will find all sorts of ways to compromise.  :thumbup1:

[Guest]

Google "Star Trek meets quilts" and you will find all sorts of ways to compromise. :thumbup1:

Yes, for example he keeps his Sisko figurine and Christmas light string of various models of ships at work, and I keep my fiber arts subtle and non-rainbow since he doesn't love bright colors.

[Bluegoat]

Dh and I used to argue more about decorating.  Now he says he has given up.

 

I kind of stopped listening to him much though after I'd avoided the colour yellow for years because he didn't like it.  Then one day we were talking about painting a room and he said "why not yellow?"

 

One thing that you might try is google searches around mid century homes - you might get some examples of what you are thinking to show him, or maybe you'd find something you both like.  One thing I find helpful with that approach is often dh seems to be able to narrow down what it is that he doesn't like about a picture in a more useful way.

 

You could have a look at some of the photos at Retro Renovation too, which specializes in modest mid-century homes.  Most of them are decorated in a period style or modernized period but there are a lot of great ideas for what works with some of the plain mid-century styles.

[DawnM]

We have renovated about 4 homes so far.  It can be challenging.

[KungFuPanda]

You guys are giving my house too much style credit. THIS is a version of my house, but without the cool man cave. Even prepped to sell, these people didn't try with the flooring! https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/6166-Stevens-Forest-Rd-Columbia-MD-21045/37006659_zpid/

 

I'm doing the L-shaped LR/DR and replacing the beige carpet you see in the photo. There dozens of these houses in my neighborhood. You all thought I was kidding about having no personality!

Edited August 16, 2017 by KungFuPanda

[Bluegoat]

You guys are giving my house too much style credit. THIS is a version of my house, but without the cool man cave. Even prepped to sell, these people didn't try with the flooring! https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/6166-Stevens-Forest-Rd-Columbia-MD-21045/37006659_zpid/

 

I'm doing the L-shaped LR/DR and replacing the beige carpet you see in the photo. There dozens of these houses in my neighborhood. You all thought I was kidding about having no personality!

 

I'd go totally mid-century modern with that - it has all the right lines (and the right fireplace) to look great with a kind of Scandimodern approach.  I'd want to replace the carpet too, but I might go with more of a bleached or even pickled wood.  Then I'd hit the Ikea.

[JIN MOUSA]

Dh and I used to argue more about decorating.  Now he says he has given up.

 

I kind of stopped listening to him much though after I'd avoided the colour yellow for years because he didn't like it.  Then one day we were talking about painting a room and he said "why not yellow?"

 

One thing that you might try is google searches around mid century homes - you might get some examples of what you are thinking to show him, or maybe you'd find something you both like.  One thing I find helpful with that approach is often dh seems to be able to narrow down what it is that he doesn't like about a picture in a more useful way.

 

You could have a look at some of the photos at Retro Renovation too, which specializes in modest mid-century homes.  Most of them are decorated in a period style or modernized period but there are a lot of great ideas for what works with some of the plain mid-century styles.

Lol at "why not yellow?" My DH has done similar.

 

Pictures sort of help us. If I have a picture that shows what I want, I'm much more likely to get buy-in from DH than just verbally describing it. But getting him to figure out what about a picture he likes or doesn't like is like pulling teeth. So short of buying whatever house that room is in, I have no idea how to get what he likes into our house.

 

And in most other things, he really is a version of me. 

[forty-two]

The downside of marrying someone very similar to yourself is that you have the same weaknesses. Dh and I both like the same colors, but we neither of us have a sense of style ;). So the default decorating scheme of our house is books and electronics placed in the midst of the seventies' era decor that came with the (rented) house - harvest gold carpet and all :lol:.

[Selkie]

I got lucky because my dh doesn't care about that kind of stuff and lets me make all the decorating decisions. As long as it's functional, he's happy.

 

When we were building our house and picking out cabinets and woodwork and so forth, two different salespeople told us we were the easiest couple they had ever worked with because we didn't bicker at all.  :laugh:

[klmama]

KungFuPanda, your dh said to get what you want.  So, get what you want!  You should love what you put into your home, even flooring!  FWIW, since I stopped asking dh and trying to please him in how I decorated, our home has had a much clearer sense of style. Even though it's not what dh would have picked out, he likes the overall effect a lot better now.

 

 

[gardenmom5]

I finally let dh know - when it comes to decorating, i'm over ruling him.  he's finally admitted I have better taste than he does.

[Wheres Toto]

Neither of us are into decorating so neither of us care that much. It definitely shows in our current house.

 

We were planning to rebuild a few years and the contractor was shocked that we were able to decide on flooring, cabinets, etc in about 5 minutes.

[Carol in Cal.]

Ha.

One of the reasons we have never bought a couch is that DH has a vision of a perfect, theoretical, domed in the middle Art Deco style couch in his head.  I HATE those kinds of couches, and also we have never seen a new one for sale.  So we can't agree, and I continue to bring in an endless progression of 'used, temporary solution' couches in the meantime.  We were married for 30 years last month.  That's a LOT of 'used, temporary solution' couches.  

 

However, now that we are older I think we are converging on 'hopefully not butt ugly while very comfortable' as a design element (this is what happens when you get older and creakier), and we might end up with a 'used, permanent, hopefully not butt ugly' Ekornes Stressless couch that we agree on.

Edited August 16, 2017 by Carol in Cal.

[Tina]

We have leather furniture in our living room because we couldn't agree on any other couches when we needed a new one!  

 

And I have to smile to myself every time someone repins the blue and white checked chair I pinned to my Pinterest board many years ago.  I searched all the stores by me when it was furniture shopping time and couldn't find it.  But I swear that chair has been pinned a ton of times!!

[desertstrawberry5]

I guess I'm lucky - my DH is color blind so he is given no say in decorating :lol:

D is color blind, so he automatically hates everything. I have taken to asking "which of these colors can you see?"

[KungFuPanda]

The downside of marrying someone very similar to yourself is that you have the same weaknesses. Dh and I both like the same colors, but we neither of us have a sense of style ;). So the default decorating scheme of our house is books and electronics placed in the midst of the seventies' era decor that came with the (rented) house - harvest gold carpet and all :lol:.

This is our current situation. We've "decorated" in stacks of books and blinking black boxes doing Lord knows what EVERYWHERE. The walls have mirrors and instruments because we can't make a decision.

 

Now we're moving DS's room downstairs to make it more accessible. As long as I'm doing the DR for DS, it just makes sense to do the whole L-shaped space into the LR. We need the carpeting gone in his room so his transfer equipment will roll easily. When his bedroom was upstairs, the downstairs carpet didn't matter because his power wheelchair will drive over anything, however his shower chair and lift thingy will NOT. With equipment and an aging dog, vinyl seemed like the best solution. Also, a clawfoot bath will go in DS's room, so we need waterproof floors. (We're not messy, but why stress over drops of water?)

 

Now, I LOVE the whole Ikea experience, and can get to two of them easily, but I think they just have laminate and no vinyl plank.

 

Downstairs we currently have a DR, a LR, and a dance room.

 

In the short term we're moving to a bedroom, LR, dance/dining combo

 

The end game is son's room in former dining room, formal dining room where the LR is (other part of the L) and LR in the room with the fireplace where the dance room is right now. The floors in that room can wait. Dance room will be moved to the basement and be a bit larger than it is now. I don't want to just eliminate the dance room because it generates income. Right now I just want to get DS downstairs before we start our school year and I have no time for this sort of thing.

Edited August 16, 2017 by KungFuPanda

[sassenach]

I hear you. I still refer to one of our most collosal fights in our 23 years as The Great Carpet Argument of 1997.

Lol, we have the Closet Showdown of 2009.

[scrapbookbuzz]

I have no idea what it would be like to be married to a version of myself as my husband and I are,

with the exception of our faith in Jesus, complete opposites!

[Katy]

I'd try to push toward modern with those windows too.

[Bluegoat]

This is our current situation. We've "decorated" in stacks of books and blinking black boxes doing Lord knows what EVERYWHERE. The walls have mirrors and instruments because we can't make a decision.

 

Now we're moving DS's room downstairs to make it more accessible. As long as I'm doing the DR for DS, it just makes sense to do the whole L-shaped space into the LR. We need the carpeting gone in his room so his transfer equipment will roll easily. When his bedroom was upstairs, the downstairs carpet didn't matter because his power wheelchair will drive over anything, however his shower chair and lift thingy will NOT. With equipment and an aging dog, vinyl seemed like the best solution. Also, a clawfoot bath will go in DS's room, so we need waterproof floors. (We're not messy, but why stress over drops of water?)

 

Now, I LOVE the whole Ikea experience, and can get to two of them easily, but I think they just have laminate and no vinyl plank.

 

Downstairs we currently have a DR, a LR, and a dance room.

 

In the short term we're moving to a bedroom, LR, dance/dining combo

 

The end game is son's room in former dining room, formal dining room where the LR is (other part of the L) and LR in the room with the fireplace where the dance room is right now. The floors in that room can wait. Dance room will be moved to the basement and be a bit larger than it is now. I don't want to just eliminate the dance room because it generates income. Right now I just want to get DS downstairs before we start our school year and I have no time for this sort of thing.

 

That sounds practical - and after all, you don't need to decorate all at once.  You just want to have an idea what you might like in the future so you can move in the right direction.

 

I'd not worry about buying from Ikea, just look at them for ideas, colour schemes, and so on.  

[Annie G]

Most of the time, the one with a strong opinion gets to have it his or her way, because in most cases, the other person is neutral or not super committed to their idea. 

 

This is how it works here, too. Not just with home dec stuff, but most everything. I probably get my way a little more than half the time because I have a stronger personality and I care more about some stuff. But I'm glad dh feels he can speak up when he does care, even if it irritates me. Like today after I made tuna salad for lunch and he told me he really wanted a grilled cheese because he has interviews to conduct after lunch. Ok, I see his point. 

[idnib]

We have a game we play for eating out in which one person chooses 3 options and the other person selects from those 3. Maybe something like that for flooring?

 

I hear you on the practicality and the challenge. I personally think the person who has to clean/maintain and see a furnishing the most is the one who should get to decide how it is, unless one of the people is an interior decorator or something and has a strong and excellent sense of style.

[heartlikealion]

:laugh: at the names of some of these fights

 

Dh and I haven't had to do anything that I consider major to any of our homes, but we have had little arguments over stuff. Mainly my micromanaging of his umm sometimes sloppy looking work because it's something I cannot or don't feel confident doing myself. He's very tall. He hung curtains for me. He didn't want me to buy a bigger ladder (our step stool is too short for me). I requested he hang them a certain way (they have grommets and the curtains can hang "in" or "out" on the ends if you know what I mean). He didn't listen. It drives me nuts. And he's always complaining that the curtains allow people to see in when the cat or toddler messes with one set of blinds. Well, it wouldn't be an issue if you hung them correctly lol. He says he'll fix them, but we'll see when that happens. Still waiting for him to mount a tv that Santa bought two Christmases ago. And there's a dead Christmas tree in my backyard that he was going to drag to the curb...