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How to teach my 13yo math


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Step 1: DD and I read through the lesson

Step 2: DD insists that she totally understands it and needs zero help from me

Step 3: DD proceeds to do it incorrectly

Step 4: DD cries

Step 5: I humbly suggest that I might help her by walking her through a problem

Step 6: Halfway through the problem she insists that she now understands and does not need my help

Step 7: Either she indeed understands it and goes on to finish the lesson, or she gets it wrong again and we repeat steps 4-6.

 

The good news is all of this fighting to do it independently means that when she gets it, she really does master it. It's just exhausting.

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Actually, I'm going to change my response.  

 

How about instead of reading through the lesson, present it in a way where she is actively involved?  For example, when there is an example problem, instead of looking at it in the book, write it on a small whiteboard and have her try to do it with you there (whiteboard=still doing the lesson, so not independent work and mistakes don't count).  You could even write with her telling you what to do.  Since the lesson hasn't been presented in full yet, she can't claim to know what to do, so she'll (probably) need some coaching.  Do this for all of the examples and then, if you think it's necessary, pull some representative problems from the homework set to do on the whiteboard as well.

 

Then assign the problems for her to do independently (leaving out the ones she already did on the whiteboard).

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OP, your method is working here as well.

 

I think it is great. You failed to mention the benefits that YOU receive. Would you ever have believed the depths of your patience? Your poker face has surely been perfected - in case you need a side job post homeschooling.

 

You might be interested in supporting my Kickstarter idea for shaped ice packs specifically for eye muscles strained by suppressing eye rolling.

 

(All tongue in cheek and laughing instead of crying here).

 

In seriousness, after our first day back at math this week I laid out some online options if she preferred, making it clear that I *want* to continue, but I want even more for her to be successful. She chose me (yay!), and the last four days have been better. It won't last all year without issue, but my immediate panic has been allayed.

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I've always used curricula designed for classrooms (previously MEP, now EngageNY), with a lesson for the teacher to actively teach, and the bit the kid does in the "book" (sheets) just one part of the whole. When I got on these forums I was honestly a bit amazed at how widespread just opening up a textbook apparently is. At the very least the example problems need to be actively worked together, finding places to put in comments about why it works the way it does and getting her to tolerate listening to an explanation. (I know how hard that is because I have an autistic child for whom "being told" is extremely touchy for some reason, but I just had to keep asserting myself. Because sooner or later you're going to get to topics that require pretty involved explanations/demonstrations, and if the kid isn't acclimated to that type of interaction they'll be stuck.)  Preferably switch to a curriculum that has concept development built in on the teacher side. These often differ from what is shown in the student text in surprising and fascinating ways.

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Actually, I'm going to change my response.  

 

How about instead of reading through the lesson, present it in a way where she is actively involved?  For example, when there is an example problem, instead of looking at it in the book, write it on a small whiteboard and have her try to do it with you there (whiteboard=still doing the lesson, so not independent work and mistakes don't count).  You could even write with her telling you what to do.  Since the lesson hasn't been presented in full yet, she can't claim to know what to do, so she'll (probably) need some coaching.  Do this for all of the examples and then, if you think it's necessary, pull some representative problems from the homework set to do on the whiteboard as well.

 

Then assign the problems for her to do independently (leaving out the ones she already did on the whiteboard).

I wasn't really looking for advice, though I get that that wasn't clear. I've been a super hands on teacher for her whole life. We've done all of her lessons with manipulatives, double whiteboards, the whole deal. This is a somewhat new development since we moved from singapore onto math in focus. She specifically wants to read the lesson herself (I read it through with her) and go from there. She actually *likes* the way math is going with this approach. I don't understand it, because she seems more frustrated than ever, but she will claim that MIF is her favorite program/teaching approach of any we've done. Shrug. 

 

I find it both maddening and, strangely, effective.

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I've always used curricula designed for classrooms (previously MEP, now EngageNY), with a lesson for the teacher to actively teach, and the bit the kid does in the "book" (sheets) just one part of the whole. When I got on these forums I was honestly a bit amazed at how widespread just opening up a textbook apparently is. At the very least the example problems need to be actively worked together, finding places to put in comments about why it works the way it does and getting her to tolerate listening to an explanation. (I know how hard that is because I have an autistic child for whom "being told" is extremely touchy for some reason, but I just had to keep asserting myself. Because sooner or later you're going to get to topics that require pretty involved explanations/demonstrations, and if the kid isn't acclimated to that type of interaction they'll be stuck.)  Preferably switch to a curriculum that has concept development built in on the teacher side. These often differ from what is shown in the student text in surprising and fascinating ways.

I've always taught math in a super hands on, engaged, teacher led way. You can read my response to EKS if you're interested (and it's ok if you're not ;-). This is a new development. She will cave to full instruction if she really gets stuck, but right now she really wants to just figure everything out herself. I thought AOPS would be a good option because of that, and it sort of is. She likes it until she hates it. 

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I wasn't really looking for advice, though I get that that wasn't clear.

 

Yeah, I guess I was thrown off by your thread title: "How to teach my 13yo math"  :001_smile:

 

Good luck!  That sounds frustrating all the way around.

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