Things the coaches did that impressed DS:
1. The coaches at the school he chose were great at "selling" their program in a positive but realistic way, and never denigrated other programs. Their athletic program had a number of unique features and benefits, as well as stellar training facilities, all of which they highlighted. They were also very clear and upfront about the competitiveness of the program, and the level of commitment they expected from athletes.
A couple of the other coaches we spoke to seemed to rely as much on pointing out negatives of other programs as highlighting aspects of their own program that might make it stand out. So the "positives" were pretty generic (common to most programs), while they focused on the negatives (in their opinion) of other programs as a way of creating contrast. DS and I were both a bit turned off by that, and were amused that one of the "negatives" cited about the program DS ultimately chose was something that he actually saw as a positive.
2. The coaches at the program he chose were very transparent and upfront from the get-go: yes, they wanted him; yes, they could guarantee acceptance; yes, there would be scholarship money available. When DS asked if they were also pursuing another specific athlete, they said yes but they knew he had other options and he hadn't decided yet. DS asked if he would still have a scholarship if this other student committed and was told yes. They answered every question openly and honestly, and never pressured DS to commit immediately or not talk to other coaches.
Other coaches tended to be a little cagier about the amount of money involved, using it to pressure for immediate commitment, or, at the other end of the spectrum, remaining noncommittal in order to keep their options open as long as possible, while encouraging DS to continue working with them and not commit elsewhere.
3. One of the things that really clinched the deal for DS (at least in terms of athletics; academics also played a big role) was that the coaches invited one of their top athletes to sit in on the meeting and provide a student's perspective on both the athletic and academic experience there. He provided a lot of helpful information, but what really sealed the deal was the way he talked about the assistant coach and how much this guy had helped him as an athlete and a person. This coach is the person DS will be working with most closely and he is very quiet and sort of stern looking, so hearing this student talk about him with real passion and gratitude, and seeing how genuinely touched this tough-looking coach was by the student's testimony, made a big impact on DS.
So from our experience I would say the three main take-aways for a coach would be:
1. Highlight the best features about your program, especially anything that is unique or unusual, but never put down other programs.
2. Be as upfront and transparent as possible with students about where they rank on your list of potential recruits, whether you'll be using a slot/tip/recommendation for them, what their chances of acceptance are, whether they are guaranteed a place on the roster and if not what's the try-out process like, etc.
3. Let your most accomplished and enthusiastic athletes help sell the program for you, especially in terms of talking about team sprit and relationships with the coaches.