Hit me with your best pro homeschooling books

[Ewe Mama]

Ram Man and I have butted heads for years over homeschooling. He went along with it for a while, but is now making loud noise about sending all the kids to ps. I will be the first to admit that our marriage is less than ideal to begin with, but I love homeschooling all the kids. He has never read about it, never looked at curriculum catalogs, never looked at the kids's work, nothing. But he suddenly thinks he knows what's best and I am...bitter, resentful, angry, frustrated. Just pick a negative adjective and it probably fits.

 

We are going to work on marriage counseling and a stipulation that I have is that he must read two books on homeschooling so we can have a true conversation over the topic.

 

I passed on my collection of pro-homeschooling reading material, as I gave up on him ever reading any of it. Could you recommend some titles that are:

 

Interesting

A fairly quick read (he has the attention span of a gnat)

Focus more toward higher grade levels, as our kids will be 4th through high school this yesr

Spend a lot of time on the socialization myth

Include bullying/peer pressure

Going to collage as a homeschooler

 

I'm not holding my breath, but my hope and prayer is that he realizes ihomeschooling is a good thing, becomes supportive and encouraging about homeschooling, and wants to be an involved homeschool dad. Our eldest recently decided that she wants to try the public school and he's all hung ho to get her signed up. I'm not, but I accept that she is old enough to try it out and will be supportive of her.

 

Thanks!

[fairfarmhand]

Could you alter that and ask him to read X blog posts on such and such blogs?

 

Because I can't think of an excellent homeschooling book particularly for the older years. But I know of good blogs, and I believe that the blogs paint a more realistic picture of life than a singular book.

 

Blogs evolve over time, books are generally written over a short period of time.

[HomeAgain]

I don't know of any.  I'd probably hand mine The Well Trained Mind and maybe a homeschool magazine like Learning Tangent.

[ScoutTN]

Are there other homeschool dads with older kids, kids into college, that he could talk with? A live conversation might be more interesting for him. A man might be more winsome and effective, given your marital stress right now?

 

You could have him read this year's college acceptance thread from the high school board?!

[EmilyGF]

Ram Man and I have butted heads for years over homeschooling. He went along with it for a while, but is now making loud noise about sending all the kids to ps. I will be the first to admit that our marriage is less than ideal to begin with, but I love homeschooling all the kids. He has never read about it, never looked at curriculum catalogs, never looked at the kids's work, nothing. But he suddenly thinks he knows what's best and I am...bitter, resentful, angry, frustrated. Just pick a negative adjective and it probably fits.

 

We are going to work on marriage counseling and a stipulation that I have is that he must read two books on homeschooling so we can have a true conversation over the topic.

Just bumping so you might get more responses.

 

Glad you're working on your marriage... Hugs.

​Emily

[Carol in Cal.]

Very sorry to hear this.

 

Are you thinking about the big D?  Because that's *almost* how you sound.

If so, I urge you to consider the Pattern that we have observed here quite a bit.  STBX gets involved with someone else, DW does not know this, he starts floating lifestyle changes fairly hard, especially "How are we going to pay for college if you don't have a job?" and gets her to A)  Cut her expenses and B)  Get a career started.  The corollary is claiming he never wanted the kids homeschooled in the first place.

 

Then he says, We are not happy, it's both of our faults, we should move on, let's try to be fair and nice about it for the kids.  Then once the separation (which is just supposed to be temporary) is in place, locking the DW into a much poorer and more stressful lifestyle than they had together, BAM, the gloves come off.

 

If you are suspicious of this kind of scenario, don't let him know that but quietly be very observant.  Get copies of your financials in an offsite location.  

 

Re. pro-homeschooling books--the best written and most accessible one that I know of is "Family Matters" by the noted author of "Snow Falling on Cedars".  He is a high school English teacher, and his wife homeschools their children.  Makes the case from a variety of perspectives, and each chapter is fairly self-contained so it's easy to pick up and put down the book.

 

 

Edited July 26, 2017 by Carol in Cal.

[Mom22ns]

I'm sorry about the tension between you and your husband. I don't know of any pro-homeschooling books. Most books are more how-to style. What about a website like https://www.nheri.org/research.html

 

There research is sometimes questionable, but it certainly puts homeschooling in a positive light :). 

Edited July 26, 2017 by Momto2Ns

[LMD]

Galt's weapons of mass instruction? :ph34r:

 

I would probably use the two books agreement to extend to about 10 chapters of my choice from WTM - and I'd expect him to take notes!

[Janeway]

There was that one...by some chick named Susan...what was it called? Good rehearsed brain? No..... no that...ummm....

 

Oh yeah, Well Trained Mind, by Susan Wise Bauer.

 

 

PS I was not being a smart Alec, I was just having fun with my response.

[Janeway]

On that note, articles on the history of education. And some on how other countries educate their children and how brains work and develop and how the American education education system is screwing up our children.

[kroe1]

So You're Thinking About Homeschooling by Lisa Welchel was given to me by my husband when I told him he was a lunatic because he wanted us to do it. It is a very short read and totally changed my perspective. I was hooked in immediately.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I am so sorry, mama. I do agree with Carol, though, because I've observed the same pattern both here and IRL. 

 

Outside of that, what are his reservations? Are they primarily educational? Primarily social? Financial?

 

ETA: I just took another look at your OP, and I think I might also hang some weight on the thought that I wouldn't want to put previously HSed kids into middle school except in the most dire of circumstances. I might say that I'd be willing to start them in 9th grade like your oldest is doing, because usually then the kids are a little more mature and they're all coming together into a new school already, so it will be easier for your kids to integrate successfully. That may buy you some time to see how your oldest does and for him to see the results, positive or negative, of the public school experiment. 

Edited July 26, 2017 by ILiveInFlipFlops

[Murphy101]

I'm just gonna say... listen to Carol.

[Ewe Mama]

Thank you for your perspectives and advice, friends. Honestly, I am more thinking the Big D than he is. We have openly discussed it, pros and cons, what ifs, what would change, what would stay they same...he is almost 60, he's finally coming out of the chemo fog from cancer three years ago, I was pretty much a single parent anyhow because he mentally checked out due to the cancer. But...

 

I don't want to go down that road. That's not who I am and it doesn't sit well with the fact that I still choose to love him even when it's difficult to do so.

 

I just want to be able to talk to him again. I want him to know that homeschooling is important to me and that it is beneficial for our children. I want to know that my feelings and opinions have merit and are just as valid as his, but that we need to parent together, work on compromising and communicating, and learn to like each other again. I hope the counseling will help us with that. Trust me when I say we have been through much tougher things than this and we never quit. Trust me when I tell you he does not have the time or energy to meet someone new. I think the only things he would dream of cheating on me with are Alexa and his pillow. LOL.

[EmilyGF]

Thank you for your perspectives and advice, friends. Honestly, I am more thinking the Big D than he is. We have openly discussed it, pros and cons, what ifs, what would change, what would stay they same...he is almost 60, he's finally coming out of the chemo fog from cancer three years ago, I was pretty much a single parent anyhow because he mentally checked out due to the cancer. But...

 

I don't want to go down that road. That's not who I am and it doesn't sit well with the fact that I still choose to love him even when it's difficult to do so.

 

I just want to be able to talk to him again. I want him to know that homeschooling is important to me and that it is beneficial for our children. I want to know that my feelings and opinions have merit and are just as valid as his, but that we need to parent together, work on compromising and communicating, and learn to like each other again. I hope the counseling will help us with that. Trust me when I say we have been through much tougher things than this and we never quit. Trust me when I tell you he does not have the time or energy to meet someone new. I think the only things he would dream of cheating on me with are Alexa and his pillow. LOL.

Hi Ewe Mama!

 

I could be completely wrong about this, but Quill's thread touches on the idea of a DH who is stressed from burden of providing for a long period of time. Could this be playing into your DH's opposition to HSing? Or looking ahead at being 60 but having kids who need a number of years more of schooling?

 

Emily