Damn...could I just be crazy?

[SparklyUnicorn]

So eye doc thinks my issues are allergies (he did test for dry eyes).  I've had allergies forever and this year I thought I'd try some other allergy treatments and maybe they just aren't cutting it.  This does not explain my other symptoms I don't think, but I feel frustrated with no answers.  He prescribed more allergy drops (I have a collection and they don't work).

 

And I've been having burning in my chest (hence my hot flash question).  I did not think this could be GERD because it is different. BUT I did decide to start taking Prevacid again just in case that is what it is.  Of course I'll mention this AGAIN to the GI doc on Thursday (if I manage to actually see him). 

 

If she calls me to tell me my blood work is all wonderful I'm going to cry.  I don't want anything to be wrong, but not knowing why I am having crap like thrush is not fun. 

 

So I seriously wonder, could I just be crazy?  Should I find a shrink?  I don't have anything to talk about other than physical symptoms.  I suppose major anxiety could cause some crazy feelings, but this would be something quite new for me. 

 

 

[Rosie_0801]

I don't think thrush or dry eyes are a symptom of mental illness, so I vote frustrated rather than crazy.

[SparklyUnicorn]

LOL

 

Thank you.

 

 

[JumpyTheFrog]

Thrush is a visible sign of a problem...so I say not crazy.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Thrush is a visible sign of a problem...so I say not crazy.

 

Yeah so far it seems to be the only thing I can show anyone.

 

How in hell did I get thrush?!  I don't really have the usual reasons.

 

And it went away, but then once the treatment was over came back within a few days!!

[scrapbookbuzz]

So eye doc thinks my issues are allergies (he did test for dry eyes).  I've had allergies forever and this year I thought I'd try some other allergy treatments and maybe they just aren't cutting it.  This does not explain my other symptoms I don't think, but I feel frustrated with no answers.  He prescribed more allergy drops (I have a collection and they don't work).

 

And I've been having burning in my chest (hence my hot flash question).  I did not think this could be GERD because it is different. BUT I did decide to start taking Prevacid again just in case that is what it is.  Of course I'll mention this AGAIN to the GI doc on Thursday (if I manage to actually see him). 

 

If she calls me to tell me my blood work is all wonderful I'm going to cry.  I don't want anything to be wrong, but not knowing why I am having crap like thrush is not fun. 

 

So I seriously wonder, could I just be crazy?  Should I find a shrink?  I don't have anything to talk about other than physical symptoms.  I suppose major anxiety could cause some crazy feelings, but this would be something quite new for me. 

As I reached the end of your post, especially when you said, "If the doc says my blood work is all wonderful" again, and how you don't think the burning in your chest is GERD because "it is different", that it might be anxiety. The reason I say that is because when I first began dealing with anxiety personally, all the symptoms presented as cardiac issues. After several ER visits and an overnight stay and all cardiac tests coming back negative, the doc finally realized it was stress and anxiety. Talk about scary! And frustrating! You have all these symptoms that make no sense (I'm really too young for cardiac issues and there is no history of heart disease in my family) but something has to be the cause! 

 

And having anxiety issues does not mean "you're crazy." It just means you body is having trouble dealing with something. 

 

All this to say that anxiety can present in so many different physiological symptoms, so it's not out of the question that this may be what's happening to you. Hope you find some answers soon!

[SparklyUnicorn]

As I reached the end of your post, especially when you said, "If the doc says my blood work is all wonderful" again, and how you don't think the burning in your chest is GERD because "it is different", that it might be anxiety. The reason I say that is because when I first began dealing with anxiety personally, all the symptoms presented as cardiac issues. After several ER visits and an overnight stay and all cardiac tests coming back negative, the doc finally realized it was stress and anxiety. Talk about scary! And frustrating! You have all these symptoms that make no sense (I'm really too young for cardiac issues and there is no history of heart disease in my family) but something has to be the cause! 

 

And having anxiety issues does not mean "you're crazy." It just means you body is having trouble dealing with something. 

 

All this to say that anxiety can present in so many different physiological symptoms, so it's not out of the question that this may be what's happening to you. Hope you find some answers soon!

 

but the thrush?

 

Thrush is extremely unusual in someone where absolutely nothing is wrong.  That's kinda the weird one that stands out to me.

 

But yes I have non dismissed the possibility it could be anxiety. 

[nixpix5]

but the thrush?

 

Thrush is extremely unusual in someone where absolutely nothing is wrong. That's kinda the weird one that stands out to me.

 

But yes I have non dismissed the possibility it could be anxiety.

You are definitely not crazy. Thrush is an odd thing to get for no apparent reason...have you ran tests on your immune system? Have you tried any pro-biotics. It sounds like your gut flora may be all over the place. Have you been tested for any parasites?

 

Have you tried going gluten free? I know that isn't a fix for everyone but I have friends who had bizarre symptoms that didn't make any sense and when they cut out gluten things got way better.

 

I am so sorry you are suffering :( I really hope they can figure this out soon!

[gardenmom5]

I'm on a thyroid group - I read reports like yours from other group members (especially brits, or people seeing endocrinologists) all. the. time.  "your blood tests are fine." . . . . . except, they feel like garbage.

[Scarlett]

I for one do not think you are crazy.

 

I think the thrush is related to the GERD somehow...your gut is all messed up.  I think you need a good gastroendrologist or however you spell that word.  

[JudoMom]

I'm not going to say you're not crazy, but I don't think you're crazy about this ;).

Unanswered health issues are horrible.  I'm so sorry, and I hope you get answers (that are easily treated).  

[SparklyUnicorn]

You are definitely not crazy. Thrush is an odd thing to get for no apparent reason...have you ran tests on your immune system? Have you tried any pro-biotics. It sounds like your gut flora may be all over the place. Have you been tested for any parasites?

 

Have you tried going gluten free? I know that isn't a fix for everyone but I have friends who had bizarre symptoms that didn't make any sense and when they cut out gluten things got way better.

 

I am so sorry you are suffering :( I really hope they can figure this out soon!

 

I eat a low carb diet so while I don't specifically avoid gluten, I'm probably rarely eating it.

[wintermom]

You don't happen to have Rosacea, do you? There might be a link there.

[SparklyUnicorn]

You don't happen to have Rosacea, do you? There might be a link there.

 

Nope

 

No rash of any kind to speak of.  Despite that I itch like crazy all over (which does go away with allergy meds). 

[Katy]

Low carb and thrush are an odd combination.  Do you have any signs of circulation problems?  Could you have heart disease?  Have they checked your heart?  How is your cholesterol? Inflammation?  Heart disease is the #1 killer of women, but it usually doesn't effect women until after menopause because estrogen seems to make blood vessels more flexible. If there's any possibility that could be an issue for you, have someone else take you to the emergency room.

 

If those are fine and you're sure, do you happen to live near a health food store?  I'd get some empty 00 size capsules and a pill maker and fill them with 2 things.  You can also get them on Amazon, but you might pay more.

1. A mixture of 1 part cinnamon, 1 part ginger, and 1 part turmeric.  Add a little bit of black pepper (like 1/10th part or less).  Combine, fill pills.  Take 3 in the morning & 3 in the evening (or more, if you notice they make you feel much better).
2. Put a few drops of peppermint essential oil and tea tree oil in another capsule, and swallow it right away (the wet ones don't keep).

The combination should kill the thrush, reduce acid reflux, lower your overall inflammation, fight any other weird infection type stuff you have going on (like mycoplasma), and make you feel much better.

[catz]

I have gut and food sensitivity issues and things like weird rashes, etc.  IBS.  I have had a couple small ulcers.  I have a tendency toward yeast issues.  I've been taking probiotics for years and notice when I miss a day.  That said, my WORST bout with it by far was when I was going through post partum anxiety and depression.  It did improve quite a bit after treatment for those issues. 

 

I think there is a bunch we don't know about auto immune issues, the gut, mental illness, emotions, etc.  That said, I would pursue the medical paths too for sure.  I did.  I never got a clear dx either.  Working with a more natural practitioner was helpful finding a balance for me.

[Bluegoat]

I don't think those could be crazy things, but it would not be strange if stress from health issues was causing you some symptoms, too.

 

I mean, I have heard of extreme cases where a mental thing caused a very clear physical symptom, like welts on the skin or even bleeding, but you aren't in that kind of situation.

 

[MaeFlowers]

From a quick search, it looks like Prevacid could be contributing to your thrush. (And may even be the cause.) Have you looked into that?

[fraidycat]

Thrush sounds like candida overgrowth to me, which can cause a whole host of problems and symptoms, but I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on t.v.

[eternalsummer]

I would assume the thrush is a side effect of the Prevacid too, or of a messed up stomach acid balance on the whole.

 

The fact that the thrush came back after you were done with the nystatin suggests that you have a mouth/esophagus/stomach environment that for some reason is very friendly to candida and/or very antagonistic to normal bacteria.    I would really push for a systemic antifungal, I think.

 

That said, when I had a baby with thrush (well, I still have the baby, but he doesn't have the thrush), it seemed like he had sort of a low level of thrush all the time, or of thrush susceptability.  When he got sick with anything else and his immune system was low, the thrush would explode, we'd treat with nystatin, it would go away, he'd get a sniffle again 2 months later, the thrush would reappear, etc.

 

 

I seriously doubt that psychological stress is causing everything; however, it does sound like a very stressful situation overall, and I bet that is not good for your immune system.  Kind of a catch-22 though.

[Lanny]

@Sparkly    I doubt that you are crazy.  However, I do believe that you should have ONE (1)   M.D. who you like, who is in charge of you and that  particular M.D. receives the reports, from the other M.D.s   If you are going from one Specialist to another, with nobody in charge (other than you) that is not likely to provide the answers you seek, or a good outcome...

 

I did note in (another) thread where I think you'd written that you'd written down questions, before going to the M.D. who considered sending you to a Specialist about something.  Writing down questions is critical, because the doctor only has a few minutes to spend with each patient.

 

Last week, I was looking for information about Gout, because from the symptoms my Stepson had, I, not knowing what Gout was, more or less   diagnosed him with Gout.  Probably that's what he has.  In the process, on the Mayo Clinic web site, in their information about Gout, one of the pages has to do with how to prepare for your visit with an M.D. and what to do during the appointment.  I am going to try to find that information again, because it is not limited to people with Gout...

 

Here's the URL about "Preparing for your Appointment"

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/gout/basics/preparing-for-your-appointment/con-20019400

 

You can change the  word "Gout" to whatever it is that you may or may not have...

 

I was glad to read that you'd been to an M.D. who took the time to listen and that you were happy with him/her.   That is critical, if you can find a doctor like that.

Edited July 25, 2017 by Lanny

[SparklyUnicorn]

Thrush sounds like candida overgrowth to me, which can cause a whole host of problems and symptoms, but I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on t.v.

 

But what on earth causes that?  This doesn't seem to be a recognized problem or is considered rare.  I can only find odd information by doctors who seem to want to sell products. 

Edited July 25, 2017 by SparklyUnicorn

[SparklyUnicorn]

From a quick search, it looks like Prevacid could be contributing to your thrush. (And may even be the cause.) Have you looked into that?

 

Could you post some links?  I have googled that and cannot find that information.

[Bluegoat]

Well, candida is often hyped by quacks.

 

But it can be real and apparently it is often related to stress and depressed immune systems.

 

So, it may well be a symptom of whatever is the more fundamental problem.

[eternalsummer]

Well, I found some mildly woo sites that say an alkaline environment is friendly for candida overgrowth, and antacids (I assume) would make your stomach chemistry more alkaline.

 

This article seems a bit more legit: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25833302

 

It's called: "

Acid suppressing therapy as a risk factor for Candida esophagitis."

[Saddlemomma]

Nope

 

No rash of any kind to speak of.  Despite that I itch like crazy all over (which does go away with allergy meds). 

 

Are you in perimenopause or menopause? If so, you may want to check to see if you have an Invasive Candida (thrush) infection. Fluctuations in estrogen levels can contribute to this type of infection.  This type of infection can cause itching, anxiety, mood swings, body aches, etc.

 

Check out this article.  It advises how to perform a home test to see if you may have such an infection. 

[Guest]

For my part, I think you're crazier than a soup sandwich.

[SparklyUnicorn]

For my part, I think you're crazier than a soup sandwich.

 

:lol:

[heartlikealion]

thrush, as in on the body or tongue? I am a bit confused if they determined thrush somewhere for sure. If on the tongue then sterilize your toothbrush each night and/or toss the old one. Maybe too much sugar in the diet.

 

One time I got a bit of a rash on my chest and my ob/gyn had me put antifungal on it I think? She didn't call it thrush but I think referred to it as yeast.

[SparklyUnicorn]

thrush, as in on the body or tongue? I am a bit confused if they determined thrush somewhere for sure. If on the tongue then sterilize your toothbrush each night and/or toss the old one. Maybe too much sugar in the diet.

 

One time I got a bit of a rash on my chest and my ob/gyn had me put antifungal on it I think? She didn't call it thrush but I think referred to it as yeast.

 

mouth/throat

 

but uhh no not too much sugar...I mean if that was even a cause half the population would be having trouble

[heartlikealion]

mouth/throat

 

but uhh no not too much sugar...I mean if that was even a cause half the population would be having trouble

 

Lol I just mean once you get it, you might need to eliminate it so it can't thrive.

 

I would try gurgling some grapefruit seed extract (diluted in water). Or drink it (prefer to drink it in oj. It's the only thing that masks the flavor for me).

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Lol I just mean once you get it, you might need to eliminate it so it can't thrive.

 

I would try gurgling some grapefruit seed extract (diluted in water). Or drink it (prefer to drink it in oj. It's the only thing that masks the flavor for me).

 

 

I don't eat sugar.

 

I'm afraid to go too crazy with acidic things due to the GERD.  Not sure if the seed extract is acidic.  I can't find much info on it.

[eternalsummer]

You've been on nystatin and it cured the thrush and then it came back, right?

 

Tell your Dr this.  This means you have something more serious than a local infection of candida going on.

[MommyLiberty5013]

So eye doc thinks my issues are allergies (he did test for dry eyes).  I've had allergies forever and this year I thought I'd try some other allergy treatments and maybe they just aren't cutting it.  This does not explain my other symptoms I don't think, but I feel frustrated with no answers.  He prescribed more allergy drops (I have a collection and they don't work).

 

And I've been having burning in my chest (hence my hot flash question).  I did not think this could be GERD because it is different. BUT I did decide to start taking Prevacid again just in case that is what it is.  Of course I'll mention this AGAIN to the GI doc on Thursday (if I manage to actually see him). 

 

If she calls me to tell me my blood work is all wonderful I'm going to cry.  I don't want anything to be wrong, but not knowing why I am having crap like thrush is not fun. 

 

So I seriously wonder, could I just be crazy?  Should I find a shrink?  I don't have anything to talk about other than physical symptoms.  I suppose major anxiety could cause some crazy feelings, but this would be something quite new for me. 

https://www.drugs.com/sfx/prevacid-side-effects.html

 

I wonder if you may be having long-term side effects to the Prevacid. I don't know your history of taking that med. However, this link describes all the potential symptoms and their rarity. Under the Gastrointestinal category, in the Rare section, is listed "candidiasis of the esophagus." That is thrush. Under the Dermatological category, in the Common section, is itching.

[Nemom]

@Sparkly    I doubt that you are crazy.  However, I do believe that you should have ONE (1)   M.D. who you like, who is in charge of you and that  particular M.D. receives the reports, from the other M.D.s   If you are going from one Specialist to another, with nobody in charge (other than you) that is not likely to provide the answers you seek, or a good outcome...

 

 

 

Aww...This is such an amazing concept.  If only....

[BarbecueMom]

Yeah, my guess would be long term PPI side effect. Maybe combined with hormone changes?

 

But you are surely crazy. Everyone on this board is bonkers in some way, right? I thought that was in the welcome packet...

 

ETA: Not wanting to scare you, but I assume the doctor knows of your family history with cancer?

Edited July 25, 2017 by BarbecueMom

[SparklyUnicorn]

You've been on nystatin and it cured the thrush and then it came back, right?

 

Tell your Dr this.  This means you have something more serious than a local infection of candida going on.

 

Yes.

 

I'm now on Clotrimazole (similar to Nystatin).  I feel much better and while not entirely gone, it has gotten better. 

 

I am getting scoped Thursday too so....

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yeah, my guess would be long term PPI side effect. Maybe combined with hormone changes?

 

But you are surely crazy. Everyone on this board is bonkers in some way, right? I thought that was in the welcome packet...

 

ETA: Not wanting to scare you, but I assume the doctor knows of your family history with cancer?

 

yes

 

ovarian cancer though....

 

there is no test, but I've had several ultrasounds...

[SparklyUnicorn]

You've been on nystatin and it cured the thrush and then it came back, right?

 

Tell your Dr this.  This means you have something more serious than a local infection of candida going on.

 

My hope with the scope (I'm a poet and didn't knowet) is they see the thrush down deeper.

 

I was a little afraid of the treatment kinda masking the nastiness, but looking at this bottle on my desk there is only one day left of treatment and it's not gone gone.  I suspect as soon as I stop taking it, it'll rage right back.

[Guest]

So I read this study a few months ago...In researching specific violent traumas as children, they found that the brain functions of the surviving adults had been changed in such a way that everyday/"normal" stress caused physical sicknesses, like sinus infections, pneumonia, and the like.

Anyways, that really has nothing to do with you (I'm not implying anything!) but I really do think that long-term stress, like trying to figure out an illness, can exacerbate other little, normally non-noticeable things and it snowballs.  Whether it's caused by anxiety or something else, I wouldn't discount the need to prioritize self-care and mental health while you figure all this out.

 

[creekland]

If it helps, Sparkly, my whole family has embraced the "stress" diagnosis (for me) in a humorous way.  None of them believe it even one iota, but humor makes life far more enjoyable for us.  Hubby's even mused that doctors probably have two poster type charts they learn from.  On the male chart there are oodles of symptoms pointing to oodles of possibilities for causes.  On the female chart their are oodles of symptoms, but they all point to only three causes: menopause, hormones, or stress.   :lol:

 

And... I found out (rather by accident) that my chest pains that came and went seem to have come from high iron - via supplement or food.  Switching to a low iron diet has helped considerably with that issue.  I was hopeful it would fix my other "stress" issues too, but no such luck (sigh).  If you're on a low carb diet, I wonder if you're getting too much iron and your body is more like mine and gets painful trying to process it.  NOTE:  High iron never showed up in any blood test.  I've always been pretty darn close to middle of the pack average on those (except one test once that showed low - prompting adding iron and finding my symptoms got much worse quickly).  It's just something that seems to come from my body actually trying to process it.  No clue why, but since low iron helps "reduce stress," I'm thankful.

 

Now I just need to figure out what works for the other issues, but being (mostly) rid of that one is a biggie.

[SparklyUnicorn]

So I read this study a few months ago...In researching specific violent traumas as children, they found that the brain functions of the surviving adults had been changed in such a way that everyday/"normal" stress caused physical sicknesses, like sinus infections, pneumonia, and the like.

Anyways, that really has nothing to do with you (I'm not implying anything!) but I really do think that long-term stress, like trying to figure out an illness, can exacerbate other little, normally non-noticeable things and it snowballs.  Whether it's caused by anxiety or something else, I wouldn't discount the need to prioritize self-care and mental health while you figure all this out.

 

Lot of crazy people in my family so this is not as crazy of a suggestion as you'd think.

 

I do think stuff bothers me a lot more intensely than it should.  I'm not sure what to do about it though.

[SparklyUnicorn]

If it helps, Sparkly, my whole family has embraced the "stress" diagnosis (for me) in a humorous way.  None of them believe it even one iota, but humor makes life far more enjoyable for us.  Hubby's even mused that doctors probably have two poster type charts they learn from.  On the male chart there are oodles of symptoms pointing to oodles of possibilities for causes.  On the female chart their are oodles of symptoms, but they all point to only three causes: menopause, hormones, or stress.   :lol:

 

And... I found out (rather by accident) that my chest pains that came and went seem to have come from high iron - via supplement or food.  Switching to a low iron diet has helped considerably with that issue.  I was hopeful it would fix my other "stress" issues too, but no such luck (sigh).  If you're on a low carb diet, I wonder if you're getting too much iron and your body is more like mine and gets painful trying to process it.  NOTE:  High iron never showed up in any blood test.  I've always been pretty darn close to middle of the pack average on those (except one test once that showed low - prompting adding iron and finding my symptoms got much worse quickly).  It's just something that seems to come from my body actually trying to process it.  No clue why, but since low iron helps "reduce stress," I'm thankful.

 

Now I just need to figure out what works for the other issues, but being (mostly) rid of that one is a biggie.

 

Yeah despite some of my more vague symptoms, I can't imagine a thrush infection popping up from stress.  LOL

 

Well, today has been a decent day.  So I guess I'll be glad for that. 

[Guest]

Yeah despite some of my more vague symptoms, I can't imagine a thrush infection popping up from stress.  LOL

 

Well, today has been a decent day.  So I guess I'll be glad for that. 

 

Can you keep track of what you did or didn't do on your "good" days?  Did you get outside a little bit more? Have your favorite drink?  If you can find the little things that might be relieving stress, even just a bit, and incorporate them a bit more, that might make a difference.  I don't want to suggest specific things because I have a feeling we are very different :001_smile:

Edited July 25, 2017 by WendyAndMilo

[creekland]

Yeah despite some of my more vague symptoms, I can't imagine a thrush infection popping up from stress.  LOL

 

Well, today has been a decent day.  So I guess I'll be glad for that. 

 

I've learned to be thankful for the decent days - and there are tons more without the chest pain issues.

 

The negative flip side is after having decent days (and therefore wondering if it's all in my mind as you are doing), then the bad ones make life a bit worse, I suspect because the brain likes to think the decent days mean "it's over" and gets really frustrated when it isn't.

 

Low iron has been very helpful for almost entirely getting rid of the chest pain.  I know the iron must be getting borderline too low now because the last time I donated blood I almost couldn't pass the anemia test, but the desire to stay low pain outweighs the desire to have iron up to "where it should be" at the moment.  I have more energy when taking in lower amounts of iron too (all except for right after cycles) - seems the total opposite of what it should be, but we all chalk that up to being my abnormal self.

 

Doctors seem to (usually) be good with "typical" and "normal" issues.  When one is "blessed" with a body that "does its own thing" or with something that's pretty uncommon, there just aren't many who believe you and/or have/want to take the time to figure it out.  It sucks, but that's what I've discovered in my journey.  It's pretty easy to get drugs (for anxiety or pain) if that's what folks want/need.  I don't.  I wanted help figuring out what was wrong and seeing if there was a fix for it.  Dream on.

 

But I wish you (or anyone) better luck.  I still get a whim to try again every now and then (usually on bad days), but then I recall what's happened so far and give up figuring realistically, nothing will be different.

[MercyA]

For the past couple years, if I forget or don't bother to take B vitamins and iron, I get little cracks at the corners of my mouth. Topical antibiotic ointments don't help, but topical antifungals take care of it quickly. If I take B vitamins and iron religiously, I don't get the cracks. So, I'm guessing it's a yeast problem (like thrush) caused by low immunity caused by vitamin deficiencies.

 

It might be worth a try to take some supplements if you aren't already (although I imagine that might be difficult with your digestive problems, too...). 

 

Hope you find something that helps.

 

p.s. I can't judge your level of personal craziness, but I don't think you're a hypochondriac.  :)

Edited July 25, 2017 by MercyA

[SparklyUnicorn]

Can you keep track of what you did or didn't do on your "good" days?  Did you get outside a little bit more? Have your favorite drink?  If you can find the little things that might be relieving stress, even just a bit, and incorporate them a bit more, that might make a difference.  I don't want to suggest specific things because I have a feeling we are very different :001_smile:

 

well I took the Prevacid and the allergy pill (after not for weeks) 

 

maybe I really do just have crazy awful GERD and allergies

 

LOL

 

duh...

[trulycrabby]

Snort. Dry eye mental illness. Scared the dog I laughed so hard.

 

You're not crazy.

Edited July 25, 2017 by trulycrabby

[aug17girl]

Our optometrist recommended eye lids wipes for my son's eye allergies.  They have made a big difference with his eye irritation.  He uses them right after showering. These are the ones she recommended: https://www.systane.com/product-ingredients/systane-eyelid-cleansers-wipes/

 

[eternalsummer]

Lot of crazy people in my family so this is not as crazy of a suggestion as you'd think.

 

I do think stuff bothers me a lot more intensely than it should.  I'm not sure what to do about it though.

 

Look, that may be true (that stuff bothers you more intensely than it should), but I've had a yeast infection (not of the mouth) and you are not crazy to be unhappy about having thrush.  It is, in itself, crazy-making.