Miss Peregrine Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 (edited) We went to lunch today and there was a piece of paper to put your name and party number on. A woman was signing in and then she put the pen down. I grabbed a pen out of my purse and wrote my info down. She said, "Oh, you have your own fancy pen!" I said, "I don't like to use pens that are used by lots of people all day. I always use my own." The next person comes in and the first woman says to the next woman, "Oh, you're going to have my germs all over you now. You're using a pen I just used. She (gesturing to me) wouldn't use this one because other people touched it." After a pause she continued, "That's okay, you've got the best on you now." Granted, I probably could have just said, "I always use my own pen." Or just smiled, or whatever. It just came out and I wasn't trying to school anyone. Would you have been defensive like this woman? Am I the rude one? :lol: Edited July 22, 2017 by Miss Peregrine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 I think your comment was what sparked the weirdness, to be honest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raindrops Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 She was being provocative the moment she said "fancy" pen. She was unnecessarily rude, and put you on the spot. 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Is she from Cleveland? Lol! But seriously... cause I've had about a million interactions like this with people from Cleveland. They don't mean anything by it, I don't mean anything by it and everything is fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 I live in a community where this sort of nonsense passes for small talk. She signaled that she was up for dumb comments when she said something about your pen being fancy...another kind of person would have cared more about whether you signed than with what instrument. So you took the bait when you could have just smiled and said, "Yes, I guess so. Sign it where?" Not blaming you, she sounds like a petty nut, but I do know the type. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnE-girl Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 I think the responsibility for the weirdness falls on the person who made the first comment. Why does using your own pen need to be remarked on in the first place? It certainly wasn't polite to continue saying anything to other customers. I would just silently assume someone had some OCD tendencies (using the loose definition of the term) and move on. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted July 22, 2017 Author Share Posted July 22, 2017 (edited) I suppose that depends on how the fancy pen comment came out. I like "fancy" pens. Funky ink colors and glittery ink get high priority and then if it has a fancier barrel or topper, even better. So for me, if someone had said something like "ooh, you have a fancy pen" I would have been like "Yeah! Isn't is AWESOME?!?! It's all purplely and sparkly and it writes SO smooth." Unless they were all full of disdain when they said it. Cause then I would have been all sarcastic and stuff right back. But if she wasn't being all snotty commenting on the pen, then yeah, I would think you were probably a bit out of line. I would not have responded the way she did, since employees at a business should take the higher road in a situation like that. But I would have secretly thought you were a snobby germaphobe. She was the customer in front of me. My "fancy" pen is a magenta Flair. Edited July 22, 2017 by Miss Peregrine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2_girls_mommy Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 yes, she was rude. I would say the same kind of thing... if I was teasing my sisters and my mother. We tease like that among each other. But I could not imagine saying it to someone else. And I know what you mean about not meaning to even say what you said in the first place. I have no filter and things come out like that too, not meaning any harm or rudeness. I could see myself saying the same thing you did on accident. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Just reading words without tone suggests that both parties got awkward and weird. Sometimes that happens. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 No, I would have rolled my eyes. And I would roll my eyes at that woman. Sometimes, less information is better. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Unless your own was a huge feathered quill pen, like for the wedding guest books of the 80s, or something equally out of the ordinary, then I would assume her comment was meant to be rude. If I did anything more than glare at her, probably just said "Excuse me? What is your problem?" When she made the comment to the person behind me in line I very likely would have told her off. It's not like you made a scene demanding that the hostess bring youna fresh packaged pen because some germy woman touched it, you quietly got out your own pen, signed in, and there was zero reason for anyone to comment on it 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 She was very rude. Commenting on your "fancy" pen was bad enough (mind your own business, lady), but then making a big deal out of it to the next customer was just flat-out obnoxious. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 I also have a magenta Flair in my bag. It IS fancy, thank you very much! Shrug. I think you were both awkward about it. She was probably just awkwardly trying to do a gentle poke as a sort of overture/icebreaker but it came out defensive and then you upped the ante a little, honestly. But that's okay. No big deal. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 See you COULD have said "I always use my own pen because I have fingernail herpes and don't want to spread it around." She woul have been googling the aitch ee double hockey sticks out of fingernail herpes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted July 22, 2017 Author Share Posted July 22, 2017 See you COULD have said "I always use my own pen because I have fingernail herpes and don't want to spread it around." She woul have been googling the aitch ee double hockey sticks out of fingernail herpes. Next time. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzybluecheese Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 (edited) How did the person behind you react? I would have been uncomfortable being included in such an awkward encounter. (I had to come out of seclusion just to ask.) Edited July 22, 2017 by suzybluecheese 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 She might have been simply interested in your kind of pen. If I made a comment about someone's pen, I would have been looking for more information about the pen. Your comment kinda made it about people's yucky germs instead of the coolness of a pen. I wouldn't have been defensive about it, but I don't generally offend easily. And people's issues with germs are their issues, and not about me. But it would have been a less interesting question than talking about the pen. :) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Unless the woman was really snotty when commenting on your "fancy" pen, I would've just taken it as a joking attempt at small talk. I would've said, "Yep, I love this pen!" or "I'm always prepared with my own pen!" Your comment about not wanting to use the pen so many others used would have seemed weird to me (OCD?) and possibly a rude comment directed at me. I'm guessing that's exactly the way she took it and then included the other person as a way to be passive aggressive. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbotoast Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 First person was rude. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 fancy... what did the pen look like? lol That is the part that made things get weird first. I would have either not explained why or referred to myself as a germophobe as an attempt to attack myself first rather than be attacked. /shrug I think the woman was over the top but I also think if she didn't have a pen with her then stating what you did might just make her feel uneasy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted July 22, 2017 Author Share Posted July 22, 2017 How did the person behind you react? I would have been uncomfortable being included in such an awkward encounter. (I had to come out of reclusion just to ask.) "Ok." Small awkward laugh 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Awkward all the way around. I'm sure the first person felt stupid/uncomfortable after you said why you don't use pens other people use. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 I'm thinking she took offense to the comment about germs, so had to rub it in with the next person. Kind of like playground cooties. Yes, it is a roll the eyes moment. I probably would have just said oh, thanks and left it at that. If she expressed more interest, would have said where I got it. Customers coo over the papermate profile pens we get at target. Nothing special, yet they like em. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted July 22, 2017 Author Share Posted July 22, 2017 fancy... what did the pen look like? lol That is the part that made things get weird first. I would have either not explained why or referred to myself as a germophobe as an attempt to attack myself first rather than be attacked. /shrug I think the woman was over the top but I also think if she didn't have a pen with her then stating what you did might just make her feel uneasy. Yeah, I won't out myself again. Lol I can see how it felt personal to her. Like I said, it just came out. I can be matter-of-fact. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 I think it was rude of her to comment on your pen to begin with. That's where things began to go wrong, IMO. But your comment about germs may have irritated her, because it suggests you wouldn't want to touch something after she touches it. I can see being a little put out about that, if someone said it to me. I sometimes think about germy pens myself, to be honest, but to say it to the person who just used the pen right before you.....it becomes a little personal. And then her comment to the customer after you was way out of line. Even if she felt offended, she shouldn't have expressed it in that way. I do think that if this happens again, make your comments about pen choice only about yourself, not about other people. You can brush it off the snotty "fancy" comment by saying something like, "I love pens. This is one of my favorites." Leave germs out of the conversation. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted July 22, 2017 Author Share Posted July 22, 2017 I think it was rude of her to comment on your pen to begin with. That's where things began to go wrong, IMO. But your comment about germs may have irritated her, because it suggests you wouldn't want to touch something after she touches it. I can see being a little put out about that, if someone said it to me. I sometimes think about germy pens myself, to be honest, but to say it to the person who just used the pen right before you.....it becomes a little personal. And then her comment to the customer after you was way out of line. Even if she felt offended, she shouldn't have expressed it in that way. I do think that if this happens again, make your comments about pen choice only about yourself, not about other people. You can brush it off the snotty "fancy" comment by saying something like, "I love pens. This is one of my favorites." Leave germs out of the conversation. I agree. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 See you COULD have said "I always use my own pen because I have fingernail herpes and don't want to spread it around." She woul have been googling the aitch ee double hockey sticks out of fingernail herpes. Unfortunately I am out of likes for the day, because I could have used 3 or 4 of them for this post. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs_JWM Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Meh. Just a conversation that would have rolled off for me - or maybe I would have told my family about later and laughed, but I wouldn't have been overly concerned about any perceived rudeness. Sent from my Moto G (4) using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 I would have not cared and thought she was just trying to be funny. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mellifera33 Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Unless your own was a huge feathered quill pen, like for the wedding guest books of the 80s, or something equally out of the ordinary, then I would assume her comment was meant to be rude. If I did anything more than glare at her, probably just said "Excuse me? What is your problem?" When she made the comment to the person behind me in line I very likely would have told her off. It's not like you made a scene demanding that the hostess bring youna fresh packaged pen because some germy woman touched it, you quietly got out your own pen, signed in, and there was zero reason for anyone to comment on it Now I want to carry around a fancy fluffy quill and whip it out to sign things in public. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 (edited) So, I could have said something like the woman said...just trying to start conversation, be friendly. But, when you made the statement about not using "public pens," friendly me would have said, "Yeah, I totally get you. They probably do have lots of germs on them. A good idea." She was ridiculously offended, took it to personally and evidently runs around with a chip on her shoulder instead of looking for new friends. 😄 Edited July 23, 2017 by momacacia 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 She was being provocative the moment she said "fancy" pen. She was unnecessarily rude, and put you on the spot. I agree. Not sure defensive is the right word. She was rude from the get go. I also use my own pen, if anyone comments (never rude like you experienced!), I've just smiled and said, "oh, it's just a habit since I've often got a pen in hand." 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 I'd have to hear the tone of her comment before deciding whether she was being obnoxious in the first place. I probably would not have said I don't like other people's germs on me right after the other person put the pen down. I probably would have just said "oh thank you" to the fancy pen comment, and written my name and moved on. :P 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 See you COULD have said "I always use my own pen because I have fingernail herpes and don't want to spread it around." She woul have been googling the aitch ee double hockey sticks out of fingernail herpes. Or.... "Yes, my Great Aunt Mabel left it to me when she passed last month. According to her will, if I use only this pen for the next 6 months, I'll be able to claim my $1M inheritance. If I use any other pen that money will be left to her Shih Tsu instead." <Furtive glance over shoulder> "I never know who's following me to make sure I don't mess up. That dog's lawyer has spies everywhere." 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 If you have a magenta flair pen it is kind of fancy and I wouldn't assume the fancy pen comment was snarky. Could easily have just been conversational. After that you were a little rude, and she followed suit. So I wouldn't have felt defensive. I would have felt like I put my foot in mouth. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 I would have irrationally hated her. :D 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 It would have, but I also would not have mentioned the pen thing. I would have just laughed a bit when she made the first comment. She's not thinking about it right now. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 I don't know, it would have depended on my mood I think. I am notorious for not using handrails and using my sleeve to open doors. It is going to be the death of me at work. I also always use my own pen. I just, germs, oh boy..... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 I'd have to hear the tone of her comment before deciding whether she was being obnoxious in the first place. I probably would not have said I don't like other people's germs on me right after the other person put the pen down. I probably would have just said "oh thank you" to the fancy pen comment, and written my name and moved on. :p Yeah, the OP didn't indicate the way the woman said it. It kinda cracks me up sometimes when people on this board assume the worst of someone in a situation like this. It's as though, if a boardie is complaining about an interaction with a person, the person must have been rude or obnoxious. I'm sure it's not 100% but a general vibe I get here. I was wondering if the woman was just looking for some friendly conversation. Lately it seems like random people are talking to me more when I'm out and about. And I'm always hearing people say they hate talking on the phone, hate having small talk conversations with strangers, etc. Not that those things are necessarily related but I wonder if there are some people out there starved for conversation with a person. And then they try to start one and it comes off badly. Just musing on that. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 I'm totally confused as to why commenting on a pen could be rude. On this board I often get the sense that I should never say anything to anyone, ever because someone will take offense to it. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Now I want to carry around a fancy fluffy quill and whip it out to sign things in public. With a velvet-lined case? Count me in! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MBM Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Some people use their own pens to avoid picking up more germs. Who knows if they're sick or around immunocompromised individuals? Granted, germs are everywhere but to each his own. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngieC Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Unless you were reading something into her tone of voice that I can't hear from reading text, I don't think her fancy pen comment was out of line. However, i could see her taking your reply personally and being offended as you basically told her that you didn't want to touch s pen after she had used it. Her comment to the next customer was unnecessary and equally rude. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Openhearted Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Now I want a magenta Flair pen. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mellifera33 Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Now I want a magenta Flair pen. I already have a magenta Flair pen. I'm going to start carrying it everywhere--it sounds like it is guaranteed to turn heads and start conversations! :D 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Not only did the germ comment highlight that you wouldn't want to touch something she touched but that her hygeine is a bit sketchy if she was fine using the pen everyone else had. I have been in that position as I am totally not a germaphobe. I am clean and practice good hygiene but I really don't worry about germs out and about. I have had people comment on things like using a community pen and it made me feel like that person thinks I am gross or uneducated. So I get that. I think it was a super awkward exchange that both parties played a role in. No judgement from me as I find myself in awkward exchanges on a pretty regular basis. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 See you COULD have said "I always use my own pen because I have fingernail herpes and don't want to spread it around." She woul have been googling the aitch ee double hockey sticks out of fingernail herpes. :lol: :lol: :lol: I read this a few minutes ago and it is still making me snicker. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
historically accurate Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 (edited) I would've been a bit offended if I was the other person in this conversation. I would take it to heart that you apparently believe I am germy and won't use a pen I touched (and funnily enough, at the moment I actually AM germy). I wouldn't have mentioned it to the next customer though (that was very weird on her part). But I could totally see myself sitting there wondering about how you "dissed" me and my hygeine. I also could see me commenting on your fancy pens - I love pens and do often comment on "cool" ones. I once had a bank teller practically wrestle one out of my hand after I blathered on about how smoothly it wrote; she did apologize after I looked a little stunned and said that she had had customers try to steal that particular one before. Edited July 23, 2017 by beckyjo 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted July 23, 2017 Author Share Posted July 23, 2017 It would have, but I also would not have mentioned the pen thing. I would have just laughed a bit when she made the first comment. She's not thinking about it right now. I don't know. She kept looking over at me while we ate. :lol: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 I don't know. She kept looking over at me while we ate. :lol: Makes me wonder if you brushed too close to a deep dark secret she's been keeping...something that makes her hypersensitive to remarks like yours.... Oh my imagination. Gets me in trouble... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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