homeschooling without it consuming your life

[caedmyn]

Is it possible to homeschool without it being the focus of your life?  Obviously during the school year it takes up a lot of time, but it seems like even in the summer I spend a lot of time researching, purchasing, planning, and scheduling school.  Sometimes I'm tempted to go with a box curriculum that would save me from doing all that, but I probably wouldn't be entirely satisfied with anything out there and would likely tweak it anyway.

[Hilltopmom]

IMO, not really. It's a full time job, just like teaching at public school was for me. Teach/ facilitate or whatever you want to call it- all day, then research, plan, prepare during the evenings & summer.

Add to that the fact that with your own kids, you wind up considering their outside activities like dance, robotics, or whatever as part of "school" too, & yeah, it's pretty much all- consuming.

But I've always just put all that into my "the way we parent" box and not thought of it as "homeschooling is time consuming", kwim?

Homeschooling & raising kids is our life & our life fills up all of our time.. Or something like that.

 

Like, where would you draw the line between homeschooling & parenting? Is doing educational hobbies together, reading aloud, playing games part of homeschooling or just our life?

 

My homeschooling days are coming to an end, my littles will attend public school, so I've actually been thinking about this a lot.

Edited July 20, 2017 by Hilltopmom

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

HAHAHA!   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

heh heh heh 

 

lemme catch my breath...

 

No, wait, 

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Does my laugh sound maniacal to anyone else, or is it just me?  

 

But seriously, OP...  

 

no.  

 

  :smilielol5: :smilielol5:  :smilielol5:  

[Annie Elle]

I've heard homeschooling is a lifestyle. After 15 years, it's my normal. I don't know if I'm consumed by it but a big focus of my life is geared toward my children's education. Research and planning is one of my favorite parts. :-)

[Liza Q]

Raising my children plus homeschooling has taken most of my time and effort for the past 26 years. Homeschooling was full-time (40 hrs a week sounds about right) for many years. Now it's only part-time.

 

If I had had a demanding full-time job instead of homeschooling I expect that would had been consuming as well.

[EmilyGF]

Is it possible to homeschool without it being the focus of your life?  Obviously during the school year it takes up a lot of time, but it seems like even in the summer I spend a lot of time researching, purchasing, planning, and scheduling school.  Sometimes I'm tempted to go with a box curriculum that would save me from doing all that, but I probably wouldn't be entirely satisfied with anything out there and would likely tweak it anyway.

Yes, in some sense.

 

I was really unhappy when homeschooling took over my hobby time. Now I have my own hobbies that are not related to homeschooling (book clubs with adults who don't homeschool, learning Hebrew).

 

I have a box-ier curriculum than I used to have and am happy with it because it actually gets done. Before, I made grandiose plans that often would only get partially accomplished and what was accomplished is certainly not more than gets done now. Not only that, I was teaching my kids that it is OK to just let work slide when you don't feel like doing it. Now they know they need to complete things in a timely fashion, a skill I found woefully lacking in homeschooled kids I went to college with. (Yes, there are homeschooled kids who don't have this problem. I just didn't know them personally in college.)

 

Emily

[EmilyGF]

I see I'm in the minority, but I know people who have consuming careers who are completely defined by them and people who work places to put food on the table. You can be a homeschooler or you can homeschool. It still takes time, but it doesn't need to define you.

 

Emily

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I see I'm in the minority, but I know people who have consuming careers who are completely defined by them and people who work places to put food on the table. You can be a homeschooler or you can homeschool. It still takes time, but it doesn't need to define you.

 

Emily

 

This is true.  I know a couple people who are legally homeschoolers but are using distance learning stuff and really don't need to put in too much time.  They are generally homeschooling for social problems- bullying or safety concerns at the local schools.  

[lllll]

nm 

 

Edited September 6, 2017 by lllllll

[73349]

I feel like it takes up less space in my life than teaching full-time did. For one thing, I don't have to react to as many different factors, from snow days to meetings to let's-spring-new-grading-software-on-the-teachers-the-week-school-starts. I can plan as far ahead as I want and only shift as student needs require.

 

Parenting, on the other hand...

[MerryAtHope]

A few thoughts...

 

One, it will naturally be at least *a* focus of your life because it takes a lot of time--likely most of your waking hours.

 

Two, I think it's important to find at least some time in the summer to allow yourself NOT to focus on homeschooling. If prep is taking up most of your summer, then there may be some easier options out there to consider--or even some ways to streamline what you already like and use. Try to mark out a couple of weeks where you won't be working on school prep to rejuvenate. I honestly tried to do the majority of our school prep--all of the research and ordering--before the previous year ended. Then I would only be working on schedules and coming up with a yearly plan for each subject--the order of books we'd read and so on. If you are doing meticulous daily planning--I never did that.

 

Three, I find it helps to try to connect with my kids as people--not as school students. My dh and I make it a point to each do one on one dates with our kids as often as possible (once a month if we can) to just go out and talk. Make sure to date and connect with your spouse too! Times like this can pull us out of that homeschooler focus.

 

Four, if you are a Christian, pull back to that focus on Christ, because he is really the focus and center of our lives despite all of the busy-ness and activity that homeschooling can require.

 

Five, consider whether you are doing too much (outside activities, too many school subjects, too many non-homeschooling commitments, etc...)--too much of a good thing can be just too much and can lead to this feeling.

 

I will say that now that I'm done with homeschooling, it does leave a big hole! I'm giving myself time to process/think about what is "next." Even though I've worked from home for the last several years and have a few various outside hobbies/interests--there's nothing quite like homeschooling and it's a really special time with our kids. 

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

It's not my only focus but it is a big focus of my life.  It's my children's education.  It's too important to me to not be a high priority.  Note:  I'm not saying that people who do it differently don't value their children or education.  But this is how I approach things personally.  It has gotten to be less consuming though as my kids have gotten older.

[Loesje22000]

Is it possible to homeschool without it being the focus of your life? Obviously during the school year it takes up a lot of time, but it seems like even in the summer I spend a lot of time researching, purchasing, planning, and scheduling school. Sometimes I'm tempted to go with a box curriculum that would save me from doing all that, but I probably wouldn't be entirely satisfied with anything out there and would likely tweak it anyway.

Considering the ages in your signature: no.

Looking at our own situation: yes,

I feel there becomes room / space for other focusses.

But also worried what to do when homeschooling will be 'done'

[Another Lynn]

I let it be a bigger focus than it needs to be because it interests me.  I could probably go forward from here without researching any more than I know right now about philosophies, resources, etc., but what fun would that be?   :D   

[Fawnmoscato]

I think it's possible to not have it consume your life, but it will be a huge focus. For me, I do all my planning in advance so I can use my free time as truly free time. I took2 weeks this spring to purchase and plan my next year. I cleaned the school room, printed everything, etc. Now all I have to do is buy a few school supplies and that's it. So the summer is totally free. During the school year, I try to treat school as my job. M-F 8-1, is scheduled for school. I'm not always great about that, but something I strive for. 

 

I have a lot of other passions and interests, as do my children. So making homeschooling my only focus wouldn't work. But it will always be a huge part of our lives. 

[8filltheheart]

I don't feel like homeschooling consumes my life.  It is part of who we are as a family.  Academics are huge focus during the school yr and school hrs are sacrosanct.   I do spend time in the summer planning, but it doesn't consume my summer.  We schedule our school yr with a week off every 6-8 weeks.  During that week off. I do more planning, schedule appts, etc.  But I also have me time and family fun time during that week off, too. 

 

For me, it is all about balance.  I also allow myself to recognize that for every season in life, our family life and my personal life will be different.  When I had newborns, our days were different from toddlers, were different from busy teens, etc. The entire family has to adapt accordingly.  Homeschooling is a family endeavor.  It is not just me.  It takes all of us to make our school function and I absolutely expect my kids to bear the responsibility of being a good and cheerful student, etc. Attitude matters and it seems to impact our entire household functioning just about more than anything else.  It can make everything seem like a drudgery.

[savvymom]

I've been homeschooling for a long time, and I love box curricula, but I have found that both kinds -- the kind I plan myself, and the kind I get out of a box -- take up a lot of my time in implementation.  As someone here wrote, parenting in general takes up a lot of time -- more than I, as a younger mom, wanted to admit--and over the years I have come to accept that both parenting and homeschooling do require surrendering my own control over my time.

 

Having written all that, I do agree that homeschooling should not "consume your life".  That is, it should not completely define you as a person.  It is good, I think, to put homeschooling in a "box" so that it does not interfere with some of your other interests.  

 

Here's how I do it: I plan as much as I can in advance as to what I will do; I use resources that somebody else already planned for me that I know I will happily use to cut down on my own planning (I have no interest in planning out lessons in any subject but I love using other people's well-considered plans.  I would never be homeschooling today had it not been for the homeschooling pioneers who came before me).  Over the last couple of years, I have worked harder at keeping track of our successes so that I do not any longer think of all the things I am not covering.  As my husband continually reminds me, I can't do everything.  My goal is to do the best I can with the homeschooling resources I have chosen and do it efficiently, but not to constantly be pondering what I could have done differently or what curriculum resources might be better.  

 

In short, my focus has been to plan well and as efficiently as possible to cut down on unnecessary busywork in planning later; and then to carry out that plan throughout the year.  

[desertstrawberry5]

Eh. I don't feel consumed by homeschooling. I don't spend a ton of time planning. I have generally been able to balance my time pretty well. There have been hard years, especially lately. But it's the other things that are consuming me, not leaving time for homeschool, not the other way around.

 

It's possible that I'm not doing a great job. But my kids seem ok.

[Guest]

The homeschooling movement is bigger than most of us realize.

 

Was this the book you were thinking of, caedmyn?

 

I've never read it, but that's just because I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

 

Anywho, the short answer is "yes" but the longer answer is that I'm guessing she isn't going to be your cup of tea but I might be wrong so hold off on buying the book if I was misunderstanding a rhetorical question.

 

Check these free articles out and if she resonates with you, the go for it! It can be for a season or a reason; it doesn't have to be forever.

 

Tammy Takahashi isn't writing about homeschooling any more and seems to want her privacy, so I'm not even going to look for the quote, but I remember what a relief it was when I found out that it was normal for the pendulum to swing back and forth instead of staying in one place and perfectly acceptable to have more structure sometimes and less others.

 

I am 100% confident about sending you over to Wendy's page. She's the real deal, even though we have had trouble agreeing to disagree about certain copyright issues in the past, so probably not a great idea to say, "IEF sent me!" until she's gotten to know you as you, and then you can crack up about it.

 

If you do rabbit trail off of Wendy, though, it would be irresponsible of me not to mention that the older John Holt books are the ones you want to read first and SWB had had enough trouble already so be cautious of anyone with the initials DM, because if it looks too good to be true, it probably is, and of anyone with the initials SD, because it's not just you, everybody feels that way.

 

HTH and as always, just ignore if it doesn't.

 

tl/dr: yes, but it's probably not something you'd be interested in so I'm shutting up now. This is me shutting up.

[stutterfish]

Yes, homeschooling can become all consuming, but I think it's as much about the full-on 24/7 parenting required, as it is about the education.

 

I think it's possible to work towards finding a balance. Not easy, but possible, in the same way as some folk achieve a good work:life balance. Our own needs are so often pushed aside when we parent, and even more when we homeschool. For me, it helps to find something in homeschooling that feeds a part of me, something I love and can bring it into my homeschooling, not for the kids, but for me.

 

Having said that, there are times when parenting and homeschooling is just overwhelming, and (in my experience) you just have to ride that, be kind to yourself and get whatever support you can. A day or two away from the kids, away from responsibilities, can work wonders. ;)

 

Edited to add: Yeah, sometimes it sucks. I'm not qualified to give advice, as I'm limping through our last few years of all-consuming homeschooling, lol. But we've had some great times and it has seriously enriched my life and my kids seem to have turned out ok, whether I micro-managed their education or gave up and put them in front of the TV for a week.

Edited July 20, 2017 by stutterfish

[Guest]

ETA: I think I was confused; was this one brief article what you were talking about?

 

I'm kind of dense sometimes. Yes, that makes a lot more sense than reading a homeschooling book to give yourself permission not to read homeschooling books over the summer.

 

 

[fourisenough]

I've heard homeschooling is a lifestyle. After 15 years, it's my normal. I don't know if I'm consumed by it but a big focus of my life is geared toward my children's education. Research and planning is one of my favorite parts. :-)

This! It's really hard to distinguish my parenting from my homeschooling. It's just the way our family operates. My oldest DD is entering her second year of college and I still play a very hands-on role in her education (getting her ready for nursing clinicals, buying books, changing housing assignment, etc). Same with DD17 who is entering 12th grade in PS. In fact, I've had much less to do with/for my younger girls' education in the last couple of months- and they're the ones who I homeschool currently. Of course during the school year, my days are spent working closely with them for 4-6 hours per day. Homeschooling/intentionally parenting IS our life.

[OneStepAtATime]

Is it possible to homeschool without it being the focus of your life?  Obviously during the school year it takes up a lot of time, but it seems like even in the summer I spend a lot of time researching, purchasing, planning, and scheduling school.  Sometimes I'm tempted to go with a box curriculum that would save me from doing all that, but I probably wouldn't be entirely satisfied with anything out there and would likely tweak it anyway.

Well, depends on your definition.  Is it going to take up a lot of time?  Almost certainly.  Does that mean you won't have any time to pursue anything else or have time off?  Well, that kind of depends on a lot of factors.

 

Some thoughts...

 

1.  You have several kids and a wide age range.  That is going to take up more of your time.  

2.  Some of your kids have some learning challenges and remediation is teacher intense and time consuming.

3.  As I recall your DH isn't directly involved much in helping you with child care or homeschooling so you are kind of a one woman band?

 

I think if the above is all accurate that means that you are automatically going to have less time for planning and preparation and teaching and probably a lot of that planning and preparation  and teaching is being intermingled with just trying to get your normal daily parenting/household needs met.  That means that by the end of the day that actual time spent on academics may not have taken that much time when added up but your day has been completely filled and now you are at the end of it still needing to finish things and plan things and clean things.  That can be discouraging and leave you with no down time to do anything other than homeschooling and parenting.

 

Are there things you specifically would like to pursue outside the education of your children?  Hobbies you care about?  Career skills you would like to hone for a career later on?  Or is it more about just really needing time off each day/week for downtime/a break to be alone/read/etc.?  Are you an introvert needing more space? Extrovert needing more time with adults?  

 

Things to look at if you are interested in any possible suggestions (and if not just skip the following LOL):

 

1.  Determine what exactly it is that you are seeking/hoping for in wondering if homeschooling can be done without it being the focus of your life.

2.  Look at the structure of your day and see if there is any way to restructure things so you can get more done early in the day.  I find if I start early and get the kids working at the same time but stagger their instructional needs we tend to get more done early then I have more time in the afternoon to do other things I need to take care of (including down time and planning).  I found I had my days filled but was not being efficient in the way I was filling those days.  Restructuring and being honest with myself on how much time things were taking helped.

3. Look for materials that are not quite so teacher intensive.  It doesn't have to be a boxed curriculum but maybe a few things that can be done more independently paired with just a few teacher intensive things.  

4.  Be honest with yourself on why you are needing so much time over the summer to plan and prep.  Are you always changing curriculum?  Really picky?  Really having trouble making decisions because of a lack of time or focus or exhaustion?  Too many teacher intensive programs that require a lot of prep?  Struggling with organization?  Was never able to establish a really good routine because life keeps getting in the way?  Too overscheduled with outside activities?  Health issues?

5.  Find a way to do a lot of pre-planning and prep in the summer without interruption.  Is there anyone, a teenager or someone that could come over and watch the kids for a few hours each day for a couple of weeks in the beginning of the summer and at the end of the summer so you could take the time to really focus and get the bulk of the preparation done early.  Then carve out 2 hours every weekend to review prep for each week to make sure you have everything you will need for that week before the week starts, preferably on a Saturday morning so you still have the weekend to gather anything you don't have.

6.  Maybe do a six weeks on, one week off schedule.  For instance, for a while we did academics for 6 weeks then took a week off to just do review with things that I had ready to go, such as Barton practice pages, math worksheets, academic games, etc.  And I did prep for the next 6 weeks in the afternoons.  The kids do better with plenty of review anyway and not having to teach anything new for that week helped me have time to prep for the next 6 weeks.  And I tried to have things ready that I could grab quickly as needed.  Like I have manila envelopes with math worksheets for each child and each type of math we may need to review.  Fractions/Decimals/Percents/Multiplication/Word problems, etc.  I print them out ahead of time every 6 weeks and have them in labeled envelopes already ready to go for when we need them.  

7.  Maybe try to use more materials that are a do the next thing sort of structure so it isn't so much prep.  For instance, CLE is just do the next workbook.  For math it worked beautifully here.

8.  Also, if the kids have access to a computer you might look at some computer based supplements such as scheduled documentaries off you tube (with headsets so as not to distract the other kids) while you work with other kids (or something like CTC math or Khan Academy or Veritas Press self-paced courses or Skrafty Minecraft academic courses).

 

Hugs, and good luck.

Edited July 20, 2017 by OneStepAtATime

[Garga]

It's a full time job for me. I work about 40-50 hours a week on it on average. Last year was crazy and I worked more than that.

 

I figure I get about 2 months vacation throughout the year, so the vacation benefit package is pretty great: two weeks at Christmas, one week at Easter, a few other days scattered throughout the year, and then about 4 weeks off in the summer.

 

When the kids weren't tiny anymore, I developed a hobby that refreshed me (photography.). Now that the kids can be left home alone, I go to the movies with a friend every Tuesday night (don't have to coordinate with DH's work hours.). I look forward to that evening all week! It also replenishes me.

 

I say no to almost every volunteer activity. It's been about a year since anyone asked me to volunteer because I think they've caught on that I always say no.

 

So...yes. It takes a large amount of my time, but no more than a full-time job would. The kids aren't in a ton of activities, so that helps our lives not to be hectic. And I have only two, while you have five. It will be even more of a full-time job for you, unless you use curric that is hands off for the teacher.

 

I am ok with it being a full-time job. I love what I do with the kids, even on the frustrating days. I had lots of frustrating days when I worked as well, bul was never as fulfilled overall as I am now at this homeschooling job.

Edited July 20, 2017 by Garga

[...................]

I think homeschooling itself was both my hobby and my job for a long, long time. You can have a lot of fun with it and get very creative and it's a very serious, life changing endeavor.

 

However, I would say that raising my children consumes my life whether it's homeschooling or not. Now that I am not playing an active role in the day to day schooling they still need an involved, caring, capable mother.

 

i do have a few friends that had other very strong hobbies but most of them even had to mostly put them aside to homeschool. The very friends friends I had that were able to manage full time work and homeschool (well) only had one child and of those four, 3 had major help from the husband or father doing a lot for the house and also for the kid.

 

Now that my homeschool days are turning into more mom instead of homeschool and in about 5 years my children will be grown, I am looking around for job opportunities, and community service too. I've never been a hobby person, more of a community service person..

 

So anyway my short answer is that it'll mostly take over your life but you of course need to reserve time to relax, unwind, have date nights, go out with the church ladies or friends, whenever possible.

[coastalfam]

My first year I used Sonlight, and homeschooling definitely did not take over my life, and we enjoyed ourselves very much. My second year we switched to Wayfarers, and while with that program you have to procure the selections scheduled in the plan, I still did not have the burden of spending so much time in research. Half way through the year, I read Well Trained Mind, and just wanted to jump off and make our own way, and that was fun in theory and in practice, but the reality was, it was more time consuming than I had imagined. I don't have gobs of extra time. We are back to following the Wayfarers plan, and as with any all-in-one, not every suggestion fits us perfect, but it's nice to swap out an item here or there and still be able to follow the rest of the plan, than it is to have to make every single decision about all the subjects, for each and every kid, every year. Again, I like that idea in theory, but I need and I enjoy the freedom of a pre-planned school year. 

[Saddlemomma]

Is it possible to homeschool without it being the focus of your life?  Obviously during the school year it takes up a lot of time, but it seems like even in the summer I spend a lot of time researching, purchasing, planning, and scheduling school.  Sometimes I'm tempted to go with a box curriculum that would save me from doing all that, but I probably wouldn't be entirely satisfied with anything out there and would likely tweak it anyway.

 

This is me.  I'm totally consumed with homeschooling and enjoy that fact.  I'm also a serial "tweaker".  I like that too.  I'm not completely sure what I'll do when DD graduates, but I've got a few ideas.  DH thinks I'm going a tad fruit-loop on him because I just told him yesterday I've decided I want to get a couple Nigerian Dwarf goat does.  I've already designed their winter housing and given him the specifications to build. He's great at things like that.  At least he didn't say no. :001_cool:  I figure I'll need something to take up my time when DD graduates, and I've got four years to get my plan implemented.

[Guest]

This is me. I'm totally consumed with homeschooling and enjoy that fact. I'm also a serial "tweaker". I like that too. I'm not completely sure what I'll do when DD graduates, but I've got a few ideas. DH thinks I'm going a tad fruit-loop on him because I just told him yesterday I've decided I want to get a couple Nigerian Dwarf goat does. I've already designed their winter housing and given him the specifications to build. He's great at things like that. At least he didn't say no. :001_cool: I figure I'll need something to take up my time when DD graduates, and I've got four years to get my plan implemented.

Goats Rule!!!! :d

[Critterfixer]

Not consumed, no. But it does take up a substantial part of my day, and my weeks, and my months overall. No getting around that.

[Saddlemomma]

Goats Rule!!!! :D

 

Yeah!  I think they'll be fun.  I moved here with 5 horses (2 of which were 5 mos. old). Now, due to certain circumstances, I've been horseless for the last five years. I'll need a new outlet once the homeschool fix is gone...lol...

[LAR]

Earlier this year, we considered homeschooling a friend's daughter.  After much thought, we opted not to do it.  Both daughters were eager to help, but DD14's one comment brought it all home for me. "Mom, homeschooling is a way of life. We would have to adopt her."  For us, homeschooling is an integral part of our lives - every day of the year. 

 

 

[EmilyGF]

This is true.  I know a couple people who are legally homeschoolers but are using distance learning stuff and really don't need to put in too much time.  They are generally homeschooling for social problems- bullying or safety concerns at the local schools.  

I wasn't referring to such people. I was referring to people like Regentrude who have well educated kids but who don't focus down their lives on educating their kids.

I'm not saying it doesn't take time and passion. But it is VERY possible to over plan and over think and end up with it taking up your life. For me, that was stifling. My kids are still getting a great education but it no longer consumes all of my life. 

 

I'd say I homeschool from about 8-2 each day, do some work weekends (1-2 hours) and that's it. I do value my kids being independent, which is looks like some don't, and so my kids are. My kids also range from 1 to 12, with the olders growing in independence. I enjoy having afternoons to explore and spend with all the kids, not focused on school. 

 

Emily

[birchbark]

Is it possible to homeschool without it being the focus of your life? 

 

I think so. But I don't think it's possible to have the kids around all the time and not have them consume your life.  :lol:

 

I have a lot more time on my hands after I simplified the curriculum, and put more of the learning responsibility on the students' shoulders.

[fralala]

I am pretty organized and efficient when it comes to homeschooling. I love it, I love thinking about it, I never turn down the opportunity to glance at a curriculum I haven't seen before, but...I have a system, and it doesn't feel like it's consuming. In fact, one of the big reasons I enjoy homeschooling is because I am able to exert a certain amount of control over our lifestyle and schedule-- my kids have participated in outside activities that I feel are rather consuming, because one is at the mercy of the organizational skills of the leaders and also the ability of other parents to show up on time/follow directions and so forth, and my bias is that sending my kids to school would consume large portions of our life and my mental energy in a way that homeschooling does not.

 

Now, lest this sound like I think I'm somehow superior to other people, (1) many people make the choice to let it become consuming because it is something they enjoy and value, and that is different from being eaten alive by something you resent; (2) there are a lot of products competing for homeschoolers' attention who want us to constantly be fixated on what we should be doing next or instead; and (3) I absolutely know what it's like to use my time and energy inefficiently when it comes to other responsibilities (such as household chores, alas). It's hard to tell whether this is a cry for help or an enjoyable topic to allow us to kick around, but I do think it's good to take the perspective of this being a choice and something we can exert some control over-- not something that we are at the mercy of.

[meganrussell]

I haven't read all of the replies, so I'm sorry if I repeat something.

 

Homeschooling does consume my life. It's what I do every day, day after day, month after month, year after year. It used to bother me a bit - I would tell my husband "Homeschooling is so consuming! I can't do it anymore!" But now, I have just accepted that this is who I am - I am a homeschool mom. This is what I want to do, this is what I love to do. Even when it's hard, even when it's consuming, even when I'm tired....this is me and this is my life. And I'm pretty proud of it.

[mytwomonkeys]

Homeschooling, for me, is a commitment and requires discipline, but it does not consume my life. Next year my son will be home & my daughter is in public high school still. My weekdays will revolve around my son's education but when my daughter gets home, school will no longer be the agenda (unless she needed me to help with anything- which she rarely has homework). Our weekends are our family time.

 

When both of my kids were in public school for a couple of years, that felt like my whole life was about school (specifically for my son). I hated it. It was all about homework, homework, and more homework. Not to mention, it felt like every week he was trying to come home sick (which he wasn't) & that would create more homework with no understanding of how to do it because he missed the lesson that was taught.

 

He asked to come home for 8th grade and beyond. I am so happy and feel like I can breathe again. It feels good to be in control of his learning again. I can accommodate his learning style, but more importantly we can pause in areas that need more help. I don't have to plow through Algebra and essays at record speed.

 

So imo, homeschooling has so much freedom & opens up so much more time to make life be about more than their education.😊

[lllll]

nm 

 

Edited September 6, 2017 by lllllll

[Jean in Newcastle]

My signature quotes Charlotte Mason in saying "Education is a life". I don't find that arduous. I know what works for my kids now and we do it. In the early years I did more to discover what worked for my kids. Just like in the early years I read a certain amount to discover how to best parent my kids. Then you figure it out and just do it.

 

I think it probably depends on what you mean by "consumes". If you mean takes up your time then of course it does. If you mean that it saps you of your life force then something is wrong, in my opinion.

 

 

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[EmilyGF]

My signature quotes Charlotte Mason in saying "Education is a life". I don't find that arduous. I know what works for my kids now and we do it. In the early years I did more to discover what worked for my kids. Just like in the early years I read a certain amount to discover how to best parent my kids. Then you figure it out and just do it.

 

I think it probably depends on what you mean by "consumes". If you mean takes up your time then of course it does. If you mean that it saps you of your life force then something is wrong, in my opinion.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I totally agree - but CM also talked about the mother getting a feast and self-educating. 

 

To me, "consuming your life" sounds like the education is eating the person up, not setting a feast both for mom and kid.

 

Emily

[caedmyn]

I think "focus of" is a more accurate reflection of what I was thinking when I posted the OP than "consumed by".  I probably don't spend any more time during the school year schooling than I would spend if my kids were in school, between helping three kids with homework, studying for tests, random silly science and history projects, etc.  It's just the planning etc during the summer that feels like too much ATM.  I don't spend a lot of time planning during the school year (for the current year anyway)...we do 3 12 week terms, and I spend 2-4 hours at the beginning of each term planning it, and occasional tweaking along the way, and that's it.  

 

Part of it just my personality, as I have a hard time making decisions and spend a lot of time exhaustively researching before deciding.  Probably as time goes on I will have to spend less time researching, if I can stick with what I used for the older ones for the younger ones.  I don't think I researched anything for the 1st grader for next year, nor for the 3rd grader.  This year I did most of my researching before the end of the school year.  I'd like to ideally get all the researching, planning, purchasing, and prep work for the following year done by the end of the current year, or at least by the end of June.

 

I do actually enjoy researching, planning, and reading, but don't have much free time and don't necessarily want to mostly spend it looking at stuff for next year.

 

 

Well, depends on your definition.  Is it going to take up a lot of time?  Almost certainly.  Does that mean you won't have any time to pursue anything else or have time off?  Well, that kind of depends on a lot of factors.

 

Some thoughts...

 

1.  You have several kids and a wide age range.  That is going to take up more of your time.  

2.  Some of your kids have some learning challenges and remediation is teacher intense and time consuming.

3.  As I recall your DH isn't directly involved much in helping you with child care or homeschooling so you are kind of a one woman band?

 

I think if the above is all accurate that means that you are automatically going to have less time for planning and preparation and teaching and probably a lot of that planning and preparation  and teaching is being intermingled with just trying to get your normal daily parenting/household needs met.  That means that by the end of the day that actual time spent on academics may not have taken that much time when added up but your day has been completely filled and now you are at the end of it still needing to finish things and plan things and clean things.  That can be discouraging and leave you with no down time to do anything other than homeschooling and parenting.

 

Are there things you specifically would like to pursue outside the education of your children?  Hobbies you care about?  Career skills you would like to hone for a career later on?  Or is it more about just really needing time off each day/week for downtime/a break to be alone/read/etc.?  Are you an introvert needing more space? Extrovert needing more time with adults?  

 

Things to look at if you are interested in any possible suggestions (and if not just skip the following LOL):

 

1.  Determine what exactly it is that you are seeking/hoping for in wondering if homeschooling can be done without it being the focus of your life.

2.  Look at the structure of your day and see if there is any way to restructure things so you can get more done early in the day.  I find if I start early and get the kids working at the same time but stagger their instructional needs we tend to get more done early then I have more time in the afternoon to do other things I need to take care of (including down time and planning).  I found I had my days filled but was not being efficient in the way I was filling those days.  Restructuring and being honest with myself on how much time things were taking helped.

3. Look for materials that are not quite so teacher intensive.  It doesn't have to be a boxed curriculum but maybe a few things that can be done more independently paired with just a few teacher intensive things.  

4.  Be honest with yourself on why you are needing so much time over the summer to plan and prep.  Are you always changing curriculum?  Really picky?  Really having trouble making decisions because of a lack of time or focus or exhaustion?  Too many teacher intensive programs that require a lot of prep?  Struggling with organization?  Was never able to establish a really good routine because life keeps getting in the way?  Too overscheduled with outside activities?  Health issues?

5.  Find a way to do a lot of pre-planning and prep in the summer without interruption.  Is there anyone, a teenager or someone that could come over and watch the kids for a few hours each day for a couple of weeks in the beginning of the summer and at the end of the summer so you could take the time to really focus and get the bulk of the preparation done early.  Then carve out 2 hours every weekend to review prep for each week to make sure you have everything you will need for that week before the week starts, preferably on a Saturday morning so you still have the weekend to gather anything you don't have.

6.  Maybe do a six weeks on, one week off schedule.  For instance, for a while we did academics for 6 weeks then took a week off to just do review with things that I had ready to go, such as Barton practice pages, math worksheets, academic games, etc.  And I did prep for the next 6 weeks in the afternoons.  The kids do better with plenty of review anyway and not having to teach anything new for that week helped me have time to prep for the next 6 weeks.  And I tried to have things ready that I could grab quickly as needed.  Like I have manila envelopes with math worksheets for each child and each type of math we may need to review.  Fractions/Decimals/Percents/Multiplication/Word problems, etc.  I print them out ahead of time every 6 weeks and have them in labeled envelopes already ready to go for when we need them.  

7.  Maybe try to use more materials that are a do the next thing sort of structure so it isn't so much prep.  For instance, CLE is just do the next workbook.  For math it worked beautifully here.

8.  Also, if the kids have access to a computer you might look at some computer based supplements such as scheduled documentaries off you tube (with headsets so as not to distract the other kids) while you work with other kids (or something like CTC math or Khan Academy or Veritas Press self-paced courses or Skrafty Minecraft academic courses).

 

Hugs, and good luck.

 

I do some of these like not choosing teacher-intensive programs as much as possible, though that's only sort-of possible with dyslexic kids.  

 

I would love to do a 6-8 weeks on, 1 off schedule, but am not sure if I can make that work and still only school 4 days a week.  I thought about doing 5 days a week and 4 weeks on, 1 off, but that might make it hard to really get into (and stay in) a routine for school, not to mention I don't really want to school 5 days a week.  I'll have to think about that some more.

 

I really struggle with trying to get into any sort of routine.  If anyone has any suggestions on how to accomplish this...  Maybe I should start a new thread.

[regentrude]

Yes. I didn't define myself through homeschooling, kept working in the job I love, and it seems to have turned out fine. But I also only have two kids, both gifted, and eager to make homeschooling work. And much of our family lifestyle even before was education focused already.

[Beth in Mint Hill]

When we started homeschooling in 1991 it was to "save" my little boys from a public school that was crushing their love of learning. I thought, "OK, I can endure homeschooling for a couple of years until we can find a great school for them to attend. One where they know what they're doing." HAhaha! *that* never happened, but what did happen is that I fell in love with the freedom of homeschooling. We got addicted to learning in our own way, and in our own time. As soon as I gave up the idea of trying to keep up with the public school Joneses, so to speak--I developed a passion for it. Homeschooling didn't take over our lives, it gave us a life!

[Heathermomster]

Is it possible to homeschool without it being the focus of your life? Obviously during the school year it takes up a lot of time, but it seems like even in the summer I spend a lot of time researching, purchasing, planning, and scheduling school. Sometimes I'm tempted to go with a box curriculum that would save me from doing all that, but I probably wouldn't be entirely satisfied with anything out there and would likely tweak it anyway.

When DS sat in the classroom, his homework and activities ruled us. I hated that feeling.

 

Homeschooling is very important, but it does not consume me. Typically, I give the kids and myself complete and absolute separation from school related activities for at least 4 weeks during the summer. Most of the upcoming school year curriculum purchases were made around May. Our school routine is already established, so we pick up and go easily enough after a break. I take maybe a couple of afternoons to sit down and type goals and course descriptors.

 

Eta: To keep a clear head and to gain some perspective, I periodically meet with friends for coffee nights and Sat. morning breakfast throughout the school year.

Edited July 23, 2017 by Heathermomster

[frogger]

I think it doesn't have to but the tougher it is the more likely it will. How many children you have? Do they have special needs? Can you afford to outsource stuff? Do they have learning disabilities? How old are they? I mean there are so many little things that can add to the time and difficulty involved. Homeschooling one NT responsible teen with money to pay for some classes or at least books sure looks different than homeschooling 8 special needs kids with no money and help of whom many are baby to middle school age.

[PeterPan]

I really struggle with trying to get into any sort of routine.  If anyone has any suggestions on how to accomplish this...  Maybe I should start a new thread.

When I started years ago, the advice to rotate like that, weeks on, week off, was really popular. My dh looked at me and was like NO WAY, don't do it. I'm like you, where I need routine, a habit. When we break, we break, and when we're on, we're on. To go on, off, on, off is a lot of transitions and it just doesn't work out well. You're not crazy if you're recognizing that about yourself, and you want to work with who you are.

 

As far as the wistfulness over curriculum and answers, I had that with dd. I always wondered if I could just put her in something canned to make it easier for me or if I had done it long ago would she have grown into it. She was the type of kid with enough function, skill, and flexibility that a solution like that could even be on the table. So in a way, be thankful it IS on the table, kwim? Your kids are doing well enough that it could even be ON THE TABLE to do that for a while. 

 

For my ds, it's not even on the table. Like you work with him and it's like whoa, custom all the way, can't do that, can't put canned on the table. For the FIRST TIME in how many years, I'm looking at buying something kinda typical for him (not aimed at disabilities) that I think he might be able to do. First time, rising 3rd. To do a whole canned grade of BJU, hopeless, lol. Honestly, I don't think he could even do a whole grade kit for Timberdoodle, and that's about as flexible and canned custom as it gets. Timberdoodle is the one that I look at as my gold standard with him for timeline, what I would put him in if I had to, etc. And even then, there's stuff in there he couldn't possibly, possibly do. 

 

You could flip this and ask how you handle stress when you're dealing with significant SN, which you are. You have multiple kids and SLDs. There are things you could do, like daily mindfulness. Bumps your EF 30%. I went to a counselor, telling him I was just ALWAYS STRESSED, and that was one of the things he said. He wanted me to continue exercising (weights especially), and he wanted me to do mindfulness.

[happypamama]

I don't think it's possible to have several children and not have homeschooling consume your life.  It's a fulltime job.  I can't combine much of anything because my children are all at different levels and stages and are very different learners, so that means four math programs, four reading/literature books, three science lessons, three history books (I do combine the little ones in science and history). . .  I try to find a balance between independent learning and direct teaching, but one way or the other, I'm measuring output, whether that's checking work, sitting with them as they work, discussing a reading, etc.  Plus I need to read at least my high schooler's books along with her or ahead of her (I've resorted to audio books, which I never have used before, to make my grocery store runs by myself more productive).  If I spend five hours a day working directly with one child or another, that's a short day, and then there's still the other teacher stuff.  I do love it though.  I love having my children with me all day, and I love seeing their eyes light up, reading what they're reading, etc.  I like planning and researching too.  It just takes time.  That's the reality.  And older kids need different types of attention from the parent/teacher.

 

I do struggle to find time for everything, homeschooling, spending time with my little guys, taking care of my high maintenance house, my own hobbies.  It's hard.  I occasionally binge read a fun book for myself; it costs me sleep, but that's okay once in a while.  My husband never minds if I go out and do something for myself, so I get together with friends for dinner every few months and have a lovely time.  I also have a good friend whose kids are about my kids' ages, so we have family playdates, and that's as good for me as it is for the kids.  I also try to have a knitting project going (okay, I usually have several going), and I keep it by my desk so I can work a row or two while I'm waiting for a child to translate a Latin sentence or work a math problem.  (It's not really enough time to go work with someone else.  Knitting doesn't split my attention the way working with another child does.)  

 

Summer is for catching up on all the stuff I don't have time to do during the year.  Mainly house stuff.  Basics only during the year!

[lllll]

nm 

 

Edited September 6, 2017 by lllllll

[Zinnia]

Before I had children, I was a midwife.  It was a life passion, a job, yes, but it was all consuming, and it ate every bit of who I was.

 

I had babies.  And mothering little children was my entire life.

 

And now homeschooling absolutely fills up my life.

 

I think I'm just that type.  

[Valley Girl]

Honestly? Not really. Whether or not that's a problem for a particular person, I think, may depend on your reasons for homeschooling. If you're doing it because you love it and have always wanted to homeschool, I'm guessing having it be that central focus may not be as much of an issue. (I could be wrong on that, though.)

 

I'm not homeschooling for those reasons, so, for me, I really struggle with it. I want to do a good job for my child who deserves my best efforts, but my heart isn't in it the way it is for others.

[FloridaLisa]

There's probably a sliding measure for *consume* but I would say that if we want our kids to treat their education and school work as important, then we need to as well. When we sign on to school our children, we're taking on a huge task. We are teacher, guidance counselor, administrator -- all of it. And if we want to meet each child's needs, their particular bents, interests and challenges, and we're aiming for a high bar, it takes tremendous mental, emotional and physical bandwidth. 

 

You get what you put into it, though there are ways to make it more streamline, more organic and less stressful.