Is asthma and being fat really a reason not to marry someone?

[moonsong]

I'm asking for my sister she is a lovely person. Hard working, great with kids. Just an all around good person. She is 100 lbs overweight and she has asthma which causes her to cough a lot.

She is desirious of getting married but has been told not to expect anyone to want her because of the two aforementioned things.

 

I am around a lot of people due to the kind of work I do and have heard several times people turn down a wonderful person just because of weight or health.

Isn't this kind of shallow?

[fairfarmhand]

Who told her that? It's awful!

 

[luuknam]

Can you sell a house by only listing pictures of its ugly outside? Why, sure you can... but a lot of people aren't going to take the time to take a tour of the house, so they're not going to discover that the inside of the house is wonderful. So, you're probably going to have to sell it for less money, and it might take longer to sell it than if you were trying to sell a house with a lot of curb appeal.

 

IOW, sure she'd be able to find someone to marry if that's what she cares about... but, she can't be super picky herself, since, realistically, morbidly obese and asthmatic are not on most people's wishlists. Is that shallow? Maybe... but we're genetically programmed to want to pick healthy partners. 

[Big Buckin' Longhorn]

Well, I don't have asthma, but I was over 100 pounds over my ideal weight and had a family history of mental illness when I got married. I was also the single parent of a special needs child.

 

The people who say such nasty things are obviously the wrong people. The right person will come along.

 

I'm sorry she is hearing such negativity. That is unnecessarily cruel.

[kroe1]

People say there is someone for everyone. I think it is more like there is someone for most.

 

Is it shallow to not marry someone overweight who has asthma? You tell me. Did you have your own ideal mate when you were 14 dreaming into your pillow?

 

There are plenty of studies that show beautiful people are more likely to marry. It is hypothesized that we still have some primitive desire to procreate. Those who appear more likely to have the strongest genetics are more desirable to most. In addition, those more affluent are more likely to be desirable. Neither are shallow, in my opinion. It is merely an urge to have strong, healthy, well cared for offspring.

 

But, our more cultured side of humanity knows there is more to a great marriage than affluence and looks. Otherwise, most of us would never make it to the alter.

 

But, bottom line, your sister has a higher statistical chance of marriage if she gets her asthma and weight under control. The constant cough would drive me insane.

Edited July 21, 2017 by Minniewannabe

[Word Nerd]

What fiend is telling her this? I hope it isn't her mother. 

[luuknam]

Btw, I'm not making that analogy to be offensive... more to give an idea of how to think about this. She's more likely to find someone if there are more people who know *her*, as opposed to just knowing what she looks like. So trying to meet people at a bar is unlikely to be a good strategy for her (compared to for pretty people - I'd hardly recommend it as a strategy for anyone). So, maybe she'd want to try things where people would get to know her through shared interests or w/e. 

[jewellsmommy]

Plenty of people of various shapes and sizes get married every day!... (and asthmatics too). Sometimes it just takes awhile to find the right person. I don't know what's wrong with the people who have told you these things, but I would ignore them. Your sister just needs to live her life and include others in it. Putting herself "out there" socially might expedite the process some. Maybe some groups or classes that interest her would be worth checking out as a place to meet some new friends.

[Farrar]

Everyone has things that some people will not want them because of. And everyone has different priorities. She might or might not be able to find the right person, but that's true for skinny, healthy people too. And she definitely won't if she doesn't put herself out there and try.

[luuknam]

People say there is someone for everyone. I think it is more like there is someone for most.

 

 

I think there pretty much is someone for everyone, as long as they're willing to not be picky. Is she willing to marry someone who is also 100lbs overweight and asthmatic? For example? Or has other less desirable qualities? Because if she wants a Brad Pitt, she's hoping for someone who is out of her league (and out of my league, and out of almost everyone's league). Doesn't mean it can't happen, but that would seriously reduce the odds. 

[OneStepAtATime]

Do her health issues and weight mean she will never meet someone?  No.  Absolutely not.  I know lots of people who are overweight that are married.  I know lots of people with asthma that are married.  Those things don't automatically mean that there is no way to have a good relationship or find the right partner.  I think this more depends on personality, social skills, willingness to meet people, self esteem and luck.  Some people meet a person they match well with and others unfortunately don't but you have to actually meet people to have a chance at meeting someone you can date.  How are her social skills?  What does she do to get out and meet people?

 

Will being overweight and having asthma turn some people away from pursuing a relationship?  Yes.  Is this being shallow?  In some ways yes.  However, being extremely overweight can mean lots of health issues further down the line.  Also, asthma can get worse or be hard to manage.  Some people know that they do not want to face years and years of watching their loved one suffer due to ongoing medical issues and choose not to go down that path.  And if they really can't handle that then I think they are right to avoid those scenarios for the sake of both parties.  Others ARE simply shallow and don't want to date someone they see as too flawed but those wouldn't be people I would want to date anyway.  Your sister probably wouldn't either.

 

FWIW, DH does not do well with illness.  At all.  When we got engaged I listed ALL the medical issues my family has had that might have a genetic component AND I had already discussed with him the couple of minor medical issues I already had.  I wanted him to know ahead of time that he might very well be dealing with someone with chronic health problems as we got older.  He accepted me anyway and when I got cancer he tried hard to be supportive.  I appreciated his stepping up to the plate in an area he struggles.  I know in the long run there is a good chance he will not be able to handle extended periods of long term health struggles as we get older but we have had years to work together and find ways to deal.  

 

If I was already in the middle of ongoing health issues impacting my day to day functionality early in our relationship I probably would have stopped dating him so neither one of us would have had to deal with his inability to handle illness.

 

But back to your sister, whoever said that sounds narrow minded, judgmental and shallow.  These things do not automatically preclude a relationship.

Edited July 20, 2017 by OneStepAtATime

[mamaraby]

Eh, I was probably 100lbs overweight when I met my now dh. We've been happily married for quite awhile now.

 

I don't get the house analogy. The sister in question is not a house nor does her being overweight mean she is ugly on the outside. Geez.

 

Taste is highly subjective. What appeals to one person does not appeal to another. What's "unattractive" to some bears no mention to others. Beauty is, as they say, in the eye of the beholder. I don't even buy that her chances are somehow diminished compared to someone who is conventionally attractive in all the right ways. My aunt was conventionally attractive and yet didn't marry until she was in her 40s because she hadn't found the right person until that point.

 

Dating, marriage, meeting someone - these things all vary greatly by the individual. Tell the rude people to out a sock in it. All we know for sure is that those people are not interested in marrying your sister. :p And really, given what they've revealed of themselves, who would want to marry them anyway? If these are "friends" then I say it's time to get new friends. If these are relatives? That's a fascinating opinion Aunt Janet. How about them Packers? Any opinions on their chances this season? Or the weather over there in mind your own business land? I hear it's nice this time of year!

[Liza Q]

That's ridiculous. 100 pounds overweight does not equal no marriage. I'm thinking of all of the wedding dresses I saw in plus-sizes when my daughter and I were shopping for her wedding.

 

However. Does she appear to be....hmmm. Does she present herself like Melissa McCarthy or Pierce Brosnan's wife (can't remember her name) or Oprah? Or does she look like she doesn't take care of herself? Big difference.

 

Is she controlling her asthma? Again, is she taking care of herself? That's a huge thing. I think that self-care and self-confidence are attractive qualities.

 

I am speaking as a fat woman who has gained 100+ pounds since my wedding.

[gardenmom5]

it my seem shallow - but, are they saying "I don't want to date you because you're fat", or "I don't want to date you because of your health problems (which will likely get worse) - which will impact a relationship"?

 

there was recently an article about a young woman in the same situation. she was about 125? lbs overweight.  they guy she really liked - flat out told her he wouldn't date her becasue she was fat.  it served as the motivation she needed.  at her 50lb loss mark- he asked her out, and she (smart girl) told him "no".  it's taken her two years, but she's lost about 100lbs.  she  changed her died, but also does weights and feels much better.  she actually looks like a different person becasue she's lost so much around her neck and face.

 

eta: I've known overweight women who were very bubbly and outgoing.  they attracted attention becasue they were fun to be with.

Edited July 20, 2017 by gardenmom5

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'm sure she can find someone.

[Crimson Wife]

Low self-esteem is unattractive in a mate. I know plenty of larger women who are self-confident and comfortable with their size who are married/engaged/in a long-term relationship. I also know thin-but-insecure women who are single (and not by choice).

[Big Buckin' Longhorn]

Being fat has zero impact on attractiveness in my world. I've lost about 120 pounds, but even before that I never had any problems attracting suitors, both male and female.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I mean good grief she is certainly in good company.  There are a lot of overweight people (with asthma and without asthma) out there.

 

I agree on the self esteem thing though.  She needs to accentuate the positive and not go on and on about the stuff that is not changeable.  Or is difficult to change.

 

 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I've known men who love heavier women, and they aren't just perverts and losers. They're normal.

 

Actually, if you'll pay attention, you'll see it a lot: Handsome man with good career marries beautiful woman who happens to be overweight.

 

They'll have things in common, such as both being into travel, or having volunteered for the same charity, or sharing the same religion. But also they each think the other is hot. Normal.

 

I was pretty heavy in my 30's. I was surprised that the catcalls and looks didn't ever stop, even though I felt like frump city and always had a bunch of kids in tow. I decided that it must be that men like women. Most women. All women.

 

Tell sis to keep working at better asthma control, for her OWN health, safety, and happiness. Try a new doctor, maybe. And work on self esteem - wear clothes that make her feel pretty, take pride in her good qualities, look for new friends who share her interests. She is no less deserving of true love and genuine happiness than anyone else.

Edited July 20, 2017 by Tibbie Dunbar

[Guest]

I'm asking for my sister she is a lovely person. Hard working, great with kids. Just an all around good person. She is 100 lbs overweight and she has asthma which causes her to cough a lot.

She is desirious of getting married but has been told not to expect anyone to want her because of the two aforementioned things.

 

I am around a lot of people due to the kind of work I do and have heard several times people turn down a wonderful person just because of weight or health.

Isn't this kind of shallow?

Weight, yes shallow.

 

Health, no not shallow.

 

The two are connected sometimes and not other times.

 

Whoever is saying that is a jerk full-time, though. Are they God Almighty and therefore aware of the future in a specific way??

[SereneHome]

I don't know what really constitutes shallow in people's minds but I think health issues are just another "list" item for some, especially if it could hereditary.

 

I think it's incredibly crude to tell someone "I won't date you bc you are fat", but if that's your reason, that's your reason.  Just be polite about it.

 

I once broke up with a guy bc he was too short.  I am 5'1 and he was shorter than I am....  I was 19 and I don't think even if he was 5'10 our relationship would have lasted, but my main reason was bc he was too short.

 

This OP is yet another reason why I try to ingrain in my children "know who you are!!!" bc you will be told all kinds of things by strangers and well-meaning friends.  You can't let every person's comment and opinion ruin your life or even your day.  Know who you and be comfortable with who you are!  

[Twolittleboys]

Well, if someone is dating someone and says "You are too heavy (or whatever) so I won't marry you" that would be horribly shallow.

 

On the other hand, people are attracted to who they are attracted to. I mean you can't make someone marry someone because else they are shallow. Being overweight probably does lower your chances for a date, especially if you don't meet a lot of people that might get to know you better.

 

That being said, I know plenty of people who have gotten married in spite of being on the heavier side.

[moonsong]

My sister is very a outgoing and joyful person. She has good self esteem. Shes the type of person that cheers peiple up by just walking in the room.

To be clear its not potential suitors saying this its just people running off at the mouth saying people shouldn't marry people with health problems or that are overweight.

[wintermom]

I am around a lot of people due to the kind of work I do and have heard several times people turn down a wonderful person just because of weight or health.

Isn't this kind of shallow?

 

What does this actually mean? Have you tried to set up a date for your sister and people refused because of her weight and/or health? 

 

Obviously, there is more to a meaningful relationship than weight and health, but to me weight is probably an indicator that this person isn't interested in as many different physical activities as I was when looking for a partner with similar interests. I like to bike, swim, backback, play tennis, volleyball, fastball and badminton with my dh. My assumption, though it would well be wrong without knowing more details, is that this person isn't currently doing many of these things, and we wouldn't have much in common in the leisure pass-time area. Doesn't mean they wouldn't be a great spouse, but just not a good fit for what I look for in a life-partner.

[TravelingChris]

As an asthmatic, what struck me,OP, is that if an asthmatic is often coughing, that sounds like the asthma is not well controlled. Is she in the care of a pulmonologist who is seeing her on a regular though not necessarily frequent basis (semi annually or annually)? Most people don't have any idea upon meeting me that I have asthma nor do they know that about my dd. As to the weight, there are plenty of heavy people who get married.

[SereneHome]

As an asthmatic, what struck me,OP, is that if an asthmatic is often coughing, that sounds like the asthma is not well controlled. Is she in the care of a pulmonologist who is seeing her on a regular though not necessarily frequent basis (semi annually or annually)? Most people don't have any idea upon meeting me that I have asthma nor do they know that about my dd. As to the weight, there are plenty of heavy people who get married.

 

I had no idea my husband had asthma until he told me and it certainly wasn't on 1st, 2nd or 3rd date.  As a matter of fact, I don't think he even coughs, I just see him using his inhaler when he needs it.

[moonsong]

As an asthmatic, what struck me,OP, is that if an asthmatic is often coughing, that sounds like the asthma is not well controlled. Is she in the care of a pulmonologist who is seeing her on a regular though not necessarily frequent basis (semi annually or annually)? Most people don't have any idea upon meeting me that I have asthma nor do they know that about my dd. As to the weight, there are plenty of heavy people who get married.

Unfortunately she has tried everything and can't find a medication that can control it.

[SarahW]

Shallow. But I've heard a lot of shallow reasons for not following up on the first date. "His eye twitches when he smiles - drives me crazy" "I didn't like the way he held his knife at dinner" "I thought she was a blue-eyed blond, but really she had color contacts -she actually has green eyes." Sometimes I wonder whether they're actually making excuses for their creep-o-meter going off. Other times I wonder if they're just jerks angling to never get married.

[OneStepAtATime]

My sister is very a outgoing and joyful person. She has good self esteem. Shes the type of person that cheers peiple up by just walking in the room.

To be clear its not potential suitors saying this its just people running off at the mouth saying people shouldn't marry people with health problems or that are overweight.

Then either ignore them or tell them you disagree and pass the bean dip.   'Cause they are wrong.

 

On a separate note having little to do with meeting the right person I agree with up thread that if your sister is having coughing fits, etc. her asthma may not be well managed.  Is she seeing a pulmonologist?

Edited July 20, 2017 by OneStepAtATime

[Guest]

If your sister is too young or too literal to understand the phrase, "canary in the coal mine", I would try to help her do so, maybe look it up in the encyclopedia or read a bit about the history of coal mining or something.

 

That's what her fat is and her willingness to be transparent about her asthma is going to weed out the real losers, sickos, and fair weather friends who would just abandon her if she ever is diagnosed with cancer or has a heart attack because life does happen and you never know.

 

Conventionally attractive women would probably be jealous of her if they knew how easy it is going to be for her to sort out the kind of people that aren't worth her time from the ones who are.

 

If she wants to date, she should. If she doesn't want to date, she shouldn't feel bad about that either.

 

I'm fat too. I like being fat. I'm not trying to lose weight right now because I used to be skinny and I like being fat better.

 

Edited July 20, 2017 by Guest

[Guest]

That's absolutely untrue. I'm really glad my husband was willing to get to know me despite being fat. I've fluctuated the weight of a whole person during our marriage and he's in regardless. Health problems haven't been a deal breaker either, because he knows as well as I do that beauty and youth AND health are fleeting. We both try our best to take care of the our bodies and that's that. My husband is not the same general BMI class as me, because that wasn't criteria for either of us. We wanted matching intellects, politics, and religious views. The packaging was a distance factor and we became more attracted to one another as we got closer.

 

I hope your sister can find someone like my husband. There are plenty of guys out there who are happy to have a woman who doesn't fit the magazine definition of beautiful or sexy. Some guys do out criteria of beauty and health as deal breakers but many, many don't.

[importswim]

Unfortunately she has tried everything and can't find a medication that can control it.

 

Is she sure it's the asthma that's causing it? I weigh 100 pounds more (almost exactly) than the day I got married and I cough often when my reflux is acting up.

 

I have definitely noticed a big difference between how I'm treated by people that I don't know (out and about) from when I weighed 100 pounds less so it doesn't surprise me that people have been saying things like this to your sister.

 

I do think it's shallow if you automatically cross someone off the list because of weight and don't get to know them first. However, I don't think that's necessarily wrong, just shallow. We all have our moments.

Edited July 20, 2017 by importswim

[trulycrabby]

Your sister sounds like a lovely person who draws people to her, and I think there are lots of wonderful men in the world who will recognize and appreciate your sister's true beauty.

[Guest]

 

That's absolutely untrue. I'm really glad my husband was willing to get to know me despite being fat. I've fluctuated the weight of a whole person during our marriage and he's in regardless. Health problems haven't been a deal breaker either, because he knows as well as I do that beauty and youth AND health are fleeting. We both try our best to take care of the our bodies and that's that. My husband is not the same general BMI class as me, because that wasn't criteria for either of us. We wanted matching intellects, politics, and religious views. The packaging was a distance factor and we became more attracted to one another as we got closer.

 

I hope your sister can find someone like my husband. There are plenty of guys out there who are happy to have a woman who doesn't fit the magazine definition of beautiful or sexy. Some guys do out criteria of beauty and health as deal breakers but many, many don't.

What she said, and her dh is a gem but he's not exactly one-of-a-kind either.

 

I'm twice the woman I used to be and I stopped dating because I wanted to stop dating, not because I was too stupid to know that nutrisystem, weight watchers, neo-Atkins, etc. existed.

[Liza Q]

But. I don't think it's shallow. We can't talk ourselves into being attracted to someone!

 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Seconding that the cough might not be asthma alone - reflux has been mentioned, but allergies can also mimic asthma. Obviously, if she smokes, she should stop...I hope she'll keep pursuing health. Not only is a chronic cough uncomfortable and limiting, but it can also cause damage.

[MommyLiberty5013]

I am over weight somewhat and also cannot do certain physical activities due to unrelated joint trouble. But if I met someone and their concern was that they enjoy running 5Ks and are seeking someone to do that with, and I cannot, then yes, it's absolutely fair not to continue to see me who cannot participate in hobbies that that potential mate or suitor wants to do in life.

 

If being with someone does truely prevent a person from sharing something they love, then I think that is a valid reason not to continue to see someone. It's not mean.

[amy g.]

I have a friend who was much more than 100 lbs overweight due to thyroid and other health issues. She married a young, handsome, brilliant man.

 

When that marriage didn't work out, she moved across the country to avoid running in the same small business circles as her ex.

 

When she moved, she joined a bunch of groups doing hiking and other activities to meet new friends.

 

She has now married a young, handsome, brilliant, loving man who also happens to be a multimillionaire. They recently had a daughter together.

 

I do not believe that extra weight makes one unattractive.

[luuknam]

My sister is very a outgoing and joyful person. She has good self esteem. Shes the type of person that cheers peiple up by just walking in the room.

To be clear its not potential suitors saying this its just people running off at the mouth saying people shouldn't marry people with health problems or that are overweight.

 

Maybe it's time for her to cut some negative people out of her life then. 

 

As an asthmatic, what struck me,OP, is that if an asthmatic is often coughing, that sounds like the asthma is not well controlled. 

 

 

This. I don't know if she's had second opinions etc, but I wonder if there's a misdiagnosis or something... 

[mytwomonkeys]

But. I don't think it's shallow. We can't talk ourselves into being attracted to someone!

I don't think it's shallow either. Before I got married, I had some really great guys like me (not overweight or unhealthy) and there just wasn't anything there for me. Likewise I've liked guys that didn't like me back (and I am not overweight or unhealthy). In those situations there was a lot of mutual interests and we enjoyed each other, but a chemistry was lacking on either end for whatever reason. IMO attraction is very subjective and goes far beyond looks. I know people that have started off as friends (as in there was zero attraction) and it grew into a romance ...but I've never personally experienced that.

 

OP, your sister sounds lovely. I do believe there is someone for everyone. I hope she finds a great man that will see her as beautiful, just the way she is.

[JennyD]

I firmly believe that there is someone for everyone.  Even the sort of small-minded, insecure, emotionally stunted person who feels compelled to tell an overweight woman with health issues that no one will ever love her.    

Edited July 20, 2017 by JennyD

[Katy]

Tell her to go online, post a flattering but realistic photo or two, and be absolutely honest about everything she likes. She'll find someone. 

 

But yes, it will be more difficult.  It doesn't mean there isn't the right person out there.

[Carrie12345]

I have sound issues.  It would stink if dh didn't want to marry me because I have sound issues.

But he has an INSANE sneeze. Like, I REALLY HATE his sneeze.  It hurts my ears and sets my adrenaline shooting through my body.  I have a hard time imagining that I could survive this marriage if it was an all day, every day thing, because it isn't something I can tune out.

[Tanaqui]

If they don't want to marry her for these reasons, then she doesn't want to marry them.

 

(And for the record, for some people, overweight is attractive. I have an uncle like that. His ideal girlfriends tend towards "morbidly obese", but, you know, so long as everybody involved is happy and making their own independent decisions, that's not my issue.)

[TravelingChris]

Unfortunately she has tried everything and can't find a medication that can control it.

Even the new biologics like Nucala? Or the medications that are usually prescribed for COPD not asthma but are used also with asthma like Spiriva? I am on many medications to control my asthma, not just one. And even with that, I get attacks usually when the air pollution is above 50, which does happen sometimes and would happen even more frequently if I didn't live in a relatively clean air city.

[Katy]

I saw some news thing recently... I think it was a bit on data mining what kinds of porn people search for.  It turned out that something like twice as many men search for porn of overweight women as will say they are open to a relationship with them on dating sites. So for those men at least it isn't about who they are attracted to, it's about status.

 

That said, IME men that are worth knowing care more about your character than your weight.  And ones that are interested in fitness (truly health, not size zero) are perfectly happy to be the expert and show of their knowledge and help a new girlfriend get in better shape if they like your personality.

 

 

Having said that, I would also question if asthma was accurate.  Has she had a chest x-ray, been to a pulmonologist, been checked for fungal issues?

[Crimson Wife]

But. I don't think it's shallow. We can't talk ourselves into being attracted to someone!

 

I agree when it comes to any given individual. But clearly plenty of larger women have no problems finding mates who are attracted to them the way they are.

 

I'm not personally into blond men or those with large tattoos, body piercings, or facial scruff but that's just me. Guys who have those things can date/marry women who don't mind them.

 

[catz]

I really think someone with a strong sense of self, self esteem, and winning personality will always have more options than those who don't.  I know people on all ends of the weight spectrum that have struggled with this.  I know plenty of people who have married in a plus size dress.

 

If someone said that to an overweight person unsolicited, they are just an a$$hat. 

[solascriptura]

It's a matter of preference, isn't it? I know plenty of people that have similar issues and are married so it can't be a problem for everyone.

[Catwoman]

Shallow. But I've heard a lot of shallow reasons for not following up on the first date. "His eye twitches when he smiles - drives me crazy" "I didn't like the way he held his knife at dinner" "I thought she was a blue-eyed blond, but really she had color contacts -she actually has green eyes." Sometimes I wonder whether they're actually making excuses for their creep-o-meter going off. Other times I wonder if they're just jerks angling to never get married.

But. I don't think it's shallow. We can't talk ourselves into being attracted to someone!

I don't think it's shallow either. Before I got married, I had some really great guys like me (not overweight or unhealthy) and there just wasn't anything there for me. Likewise I've liked guys that didn't like me back (and I am not overweight or unhealthy). In those situations there was a lot of mutual interests and we enjoyed each other, but a chemistry was lacking on either end for whatever reason. IMO attraction is very subjective and goes far beyond looks. I know people that have started off as friends (as in there was zero attraction) and it grew into a romance ...but I've never personally experienced that.

OP, your sister sounds lovely. I do believe there is someone for everyone. I hope she finds a great man that will see her as beautiful, just the way she is.

:iagree:

 

FWIW, I have known some conventionally gorgeous men who were also nice guys, but I still wasn't attracted to them in a romantic way, and I have known some guys who wouldn't turn many heads but I found them very attractive, so I don't think it's necessarily shallowness at play here. I don't think anyone should feel guilty about not being attracted to anyone else, no matter what that person looks like or how much he or she weighs. Sometimes the attraction is there and sometimes it isn't.

 

I have a friend who is beautiful by pretty much anyone's standards and her dh is conventionally plain on his best day. She has had people ask her if he was rich when she married him because she "could have done so much better." Well, no, he wasn't rich, and when she met him, it was love at first sight. In her eyes, he's the best looking guy on the planet. So you just never know who will be attracted to whom, and it's so weird (and rude!) when people make judgments about things like that.

Edited July 20, 2017 by Catwoman